you're the star of the story! / Kurdis vs. Sir Meredith Archibald esq.

you're the star of the story! — Kurdis vs. Sir Meredith Archibald esq.

by snager

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Kurdis52.8%
301 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: ada dimitr, pinecone, TL Bot

by Cab

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Sir Meredith Archibald esq.47.2%
269 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged
This is was a 24hr battle

Critiques & Comments
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# 8   Posted: Feb 2 2022, 04:41 PM
I keep thinking up all these critiques to give both of you and then remembering that these were 24 hour battles and realizing that a lot of the critiques I may have are things that could have been due to the very short time constraint--which, I think, leads me to the most notable conclusion I can make from this--

For *both* of you, I honestly kept forgetting while reading that this was a 24 hour battle! Which is impressive, because it means you both pulled off a crazy amount of work in a short time. But it also does make me wonder--if you can pull off this kind of work in 24 hours, what could you do if you both took the time to slow down, refine things, polish them up a bit? But then again I'm not one to talk because I know that's hard to want to do, when you just want to get the thing DONE. So, grain of salt, I suppose.

Snager: I think Jade said most of what I would've said with the art, so I think I'll just settle on echoing some advice that was given to me in the past: sometimes it can help to differentiate your foregrounds from your backgrounds by using a thicker pen stroke on the foreground than the background. Maybe getting a thicker/thinner marker to do your inks with could help in this regard? May help clarify things a bit as well!
I did enjoy the shift to a more somber tone this took, especially after the father yells at Kurdis and his brother--and I also appreciated that some of the crazier expressions got toned down here too! It felt fitting that once the zaniness and heightened emotions died down, so did the over the top expressions.

Cab: I really enjoyed the way you drew Meredith and Kurdis on page 4, and I do say you're not bad at those style fluctuations! I'm not sure how I feel about the story itself, because it does seem to be hitting a lot of the same notes that previous Meredith stories have--like I get having a formula, and it's been working so far, but I would say it does run the risk of getting repetitive. but I will say I do enjoy the inclusion of the little comic strips. Kurdis's way of trying to get out of telling a story was at least funny!

# 7   Posted: Jan 28 2022, 05:38 PM
snags: ShowHide
I think in a sense, your biggest strength is also your biggest weakness, and I want to address both. Your silly sketches can be fun, endearing, and hilarious! I love the goofy expressions and exaggerated movement of your characters. I know it's easy especially as fellow artists to focus on the lack of consistency in size and shape and everything, but your loose style lends itself well to your unique style of humor. The drawback to this approach is that it's harder to tell what's happening when things are so loose and fluid. I got really confused when I got to page 2 and wasn't sure where Kurdis went or what the various blobby shapes on the page were. Took me a little bit of staring and pondering before my mind put 2 and 2 together and was like "oh yeah this is a library with a roller coaster in it, so that's what they're getting on!" Or is it like a track car thing?

Anyways, the theme is consistent throughout the comic. You have some great scenes with really creative physical comedy going on, but it can also be hard to decipher exactly what's happening from panel to panel. I'm not an expert in this kind of thing, and I think to some extent finding the balance is just a matter of trial and error, but I think working on your visual hierarchy could help a lot, as well as making sure things that aren't going to be as obvious to the reader are rendered with clearer detail (e.g. I can't tell what I'm looking at when Meredith says the track can't support this much weight).

The adoption story caught me off-guard, and I really loved everything about it. The colors communicated so much, from the sepia tones indicating the past, to those same warm tones giving a sense of home, whereas the reds showed emotion and danger. The ending was so sweet and real πŸ₯Ί

Overall, a decent comic! Your watercolors are fun, albeit messy, but the messiness kind of goes with your sketchy style, so it harmonizes that way. I want to see a bit more clarity in the future! A fun read! And did I catch some meta humor about VOID? πŸ‘€

cabs: ShowHide
I will request your wishes for no critique, but feel free to hmu on Discord if you'd like more in-depth thoughts! I'll just share a few general thoughts I had about this comic here 😊

Meredith is a really interesting character to tell stories with. You get to balance meta humor with any genre of story fitting the situation. Giving Kurdis some goofy gag comics was fun. I'm admittedly not very knowledgeable about Kurdis' body of work (making a commitment to keeping up with comics this year!) so idk if the moral at the end of the story is related to his character or just a general positive note you wanted to make about all stories being valid regardless of whether people get them or not. Either way, I think it's a cute message! On VOID especially, where it's kind of our job to vigorously review comics for potential areas of improvement (as well as celebrating successful elements of each comic ofc), it can be easy to confuse comics that aren't our cup of tea with bad comics, but the two aren't the same thing. It's always good to try to meet each comic where it is and work from there.

ANYWAYS, philosophizing over comics and morals aside, this was a nice quick read with a wholesome message πŸ™Œ Keep on keepin on, you crazy comic machine!

# 6   Posted: Jan 27 2022, 04:41 PM
Awesome job on the 24 hr comics!!

# 5   Posted: Jan 27 2022, 08:59 AM
I don't understand how y'all did this in 24 hours? Dang.
also, *points at TL Bot*

# 4   Posted: Jan 26 2022, 05:18 AM
I don't think he called

# 3   Posted: Jan 25 2022, 10:28 PM
Wow I loved both of these!
Cab: LOVED the big smack and the way you draw faces in general. Dialog was sharp!

Snager: The pacing on this one was really good, I got sucked in immediately and was laughing up until the big emotional punch, at which point I was laughing and crying at the same time. Fantastic.

# 2   Posted: Jan 24 2022, 04:11 AM
You guys did amazing!!!!

Snager: Your story was sad but sweet, talking about adoption is tough, having a dad like that, is also tough.

Cab!: this jokes were hilarious! Keep ‘em up!! A saw a new side to your character, it’s very interesting! Also your comic, Cab. Pulled on my heart strings! Great job guys!!

# 1   Posted: Jan 23 2022, 09:01 AM
we do serious work for serious ppl here  LOL

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 24 hours
Ended: Jan 31st, 2022
Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 477
Winner: snager

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