despite being told better we're still doing this / Mortimerr vs. Lilyfeather

despite being told better we're still doing this / Mortimerr vs. Lilyfeather

despite being told better we're still doing this — Mortimerr vs. Lilyfeather

by Fred

This comic has been rated adults only by its creator(s)

Icon for Mortimerr48.9%
505 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags:


This comic has been rated adults only by its creator(s)

Icon for Lilyfeather51.1%
527 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: NSFW, smut battle, trigger warnings, TW: sexual assault mention




Critiques & Comments
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Animeshen
Artist
1416 comments
# 20   Posted: Nov 22 2021, 02:49 PM
Thanks for the crits, everyone! I was nervous about making this comic since you know, 'dealing with sexual trauma' is such a long way off from 'smut battle' but its a story I've been wanting to tell a long time, so thanks for being understanding and I'm glad it flowed okay. Most of all, thanks to LeFred, I had no idea I was gonna be your last battle! haha I guess they are stuck in this marriage forever! You had a super funny and absolutely CRAZY comic, it was an honor to fight you and to be your last battle! Thanks for a great run on Void!

Flytee
Artist
271 comments
# 19   Posted: Nov 21 2021, 01:27 PM
Fred- Super fun dialogue & a creative format that makes me rethink my definition of "comic"
The art was delightful as well, those backgrounds are top-notch.

Shen- Addressing trauma via a smut comic sounds like it might be a miss on paper, but you really made it work. The art was polished and Lily's new design/ persona feels very established now.
ALSO, This might be weird but I also really liked the hint of red you added to her lashes.


PS to Fred- Congrats on 11 years of comics! Quite the legacy, I look forward to keeping up with Nameless and any other non-void projects.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
318 comments
# 18   Posted: Nov 21 2021, 12:52 PM
I can't believe I forgot to comment on this.
It's sad to hear you're retiring Fred, but I'm excited to see Nameless keep going.

Fred: The dating game feel to yours was fun, it gave me this visual novel mixed with old sierra titles with bits of porn mixed in. A delightful nostalgia trip.

Shen: It's nice to see Lily dealing with her traumatic past encounter. I can't wait to see her grow more from this. also fantastic colors and money shot.

I really enjoyed both these ended with them being pretty supportive of each other.

Fred
Artist
549 comments
# 17   Posted: Nov 21 2021, 05:20 AM
I can't wait to see what yall do next!
Quote from: FrankenToon

retiring.
it's been an amazing 11 years, this battle was fantastically fun to do, this was the last plot thread that needed to wrap up, meanwhile our webcomic is picking up steam and other projects are taking life... it's time.

thank you to all you voidlings, you're the loveliest bunch of cuties out there, and thank you to shen, we couldn't have asked for a better last battle.
cheers 💜

FrankenToon
Artist
18 comments
# 16   Posted: Nov 18 2021, 11:51 PM
Both opponents did absolutely great!!

FRED
--------
Im sucha fan of this format and the hilarious dialogue with well drawn smut to boot was just *chefs kiss.* I'm so so proud of you, there was a clear amount of time put into making sure the "cutscene shots" were creative, anatomically correct and flowed cohesively without ending too abruptly. I took the time to calculate everything just for fun, and honestly?? I'd still consider this hard work even if its smart n all! I might be off but I gathered..
-8 very well done sprites ( including alt mort ) x2 or more expressions expressions
-9 amazing backgrounds
-18 unique "cutscene" pages
-UI dialogue box

Yes, your opponent might have done a good portion more than you, but you still didn't have it easy, and from what I had seen in past comments you had things you were dealing with so I applaud what you were able to bring! The cutscenes weren't as detailed as your sprites, but that's because we're constantly seeing them ( which was smart on your part ), and the style is still very tasteful! All n all, absolutely loved this!! <3 <3
( crits )
Spoiler: show
Nipples on most characters were very very stark in contrast to their own skin tone, heavily saturated too. I would recc more muted tones, but maybe it was a stylistic choice that went over my head. Coochies like Savannah's also looked a bit off, the labia being v puffy, and most action lacked any elements like sweat, visible breaths, and lubrication being v miniscule. Just tiny nitpicks, like I said- it could be stylistic choice but thats my two cents.


SHEN
--------
your color theory was on point like always! The heavier hues of red and pink once things get heated, to the sudden mood shifts change to somber blues once it's all over, alluding to Lily's post-orgasm clarity as she comforts herself since Mort didn't bother to. Your background game was also top fuckin notch here, I applaud the hell outta you for that first introductory page lol. The aftermath is a fantastic way of showcasing someone slowly unearthing the very difficult subject of trauma turned coping mechanism fixation, it's something I'm familiar with, and although the ship isn't my cup of tea, I still love the discussion.
( crit )
Spoiler: show
Coming off of my last compliment, it's also a crit of mine that this is the main highlight for me in a smut battle. Of course, just because this is predominantly a smut battle, that doesn't mean the story should be lacking ( I myself love both )- but I feel as if the smut itself, mainly money shots, like the last panel of page 9, should take references more into account or a more careful look at anatomy. It's gonna be basically what's the centerpiece of your entire sex scene, so consistency and attention to detail is key imo. Tiny nitpicks are on other pages/panels, either head sizes were changed, asses, areolas/nipples, just double checking that your characters are consistent is something I'd suggest.


All and all, these were both great and entertaining reads! Congrats to you both, ik this was a long awaited battle and the payoff was worth the wait. I barely ever leave crits since I'm not confident enough in my abilities to do so, plus I'm terrible at wording my inputs, but I thought it'd be suited to start in places where I feel confident in. I say all this in hopes that my small bit of knowledge in this biz can help, I can't wait to see what yall do next!

InvaderDiz
Artist
72 comments
# 15   Posted: Nov 17 2021, 08:38 AM
I also just like the title of the comic. Like it works in universe and is very meta 😂

Goldie
Artist
58 comments
# 14   Posted: Nov 17 2021, 01:27 AM
I loved BOTH of these SO much! Really love your creativity here Fred! And Shen, I adore a good PWP!~

PutridVodka
Artist
110 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 05:29 PM
FRED -
This was such a creative and clever way to tackle a comic, especially with the main focus being their arranged marriage! The sense of humor was pretty good too, nice work!!

SHEN-
Great work on those backgrounds! The intense change in mood after the deed was very sobering to their situation. Very good use of lighting in such a heavy talk!

Pita
Community Manager
258 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 03:18 PM
That's not so much a comic as it is a game. I know it's supposed to be a comic presented in a dating sim format, but that's still not what I can call a comic in the conventional sense.
Quote from: Radji
It's a story told in a visual sequence where our only participation is turning the page.  If this wasn't a comic, I don't think it would have been approved for the website.

If Andrew Hussie could achieve it in Homestuck, Fred can be just as unconventional and give us a fun read.

snager
Artist
230 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 10:14 AM
Fred: good conservation of energy, using talk sprites and dressing the story up like a video game. The story was interesting, considering it was just the bones to hang smut sequences on. A nice tale about a romanceless marriage where the spouses learn to tolerate and respect each other. the scene where the father-in-law sleeps with his son-in-law and the daughter walks in on them was too grody for me, as if it crossed a line. BUT it does kind of help things make more since, about why Mortimer doesn't want to do Lilly: he might just be seeing her as his lover's daughter, which would be weird for HIM.

negative: since this was a story about sex, the cut scenes for the sex acts seemed a little abrupt, but i understand you had irl stuff come up. I can imagine how things were SUPPOSED to go, and you still included a ton of work.

I think to really make this thing pop, you could figure out some form of user participation: maybe like a chose you own adventure game, 'turn to page 12 to sleep with your father in law' 'turn to page 15 to get drunk and pass out before you have a chance to sleep with your father in law'

Shen: You went for a traditional smut comic and really embellished and polished all your art to a degree I haven't seen from you before. You really went for it. What felt like a really awkward-at-best and toxic-at-worst relationship got balanced out into a somewhat believable exchange. And what should have made me feel nasty for reading it got smoothed over into a semi-feel good explanation at the end, when Mortimer comes to apologize and Lilly even apologizes back.

the craftsmanship was high on both ends, but ultimately, this ship is too weird for me to really get into it. XD I'm out, bro.

IItherockmanII
Artist
19 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 10:08 AM
Fred - I loved the format of your comic, I specially liked the frame you designed for the panels.

Shen - Liked the interactions between the characters and the color shift to red in page 5.

Good job both of you.

Radji
Artist
583 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 09:07 AM
Shen: Lilyfeather is one of the most iconic characters of The Void I've grown to know. So I have followed a good chunk of her evolution. She's a very different character from when she began, and I for one love this kind of evolution.
Yet you managed to keep an aspect of Lilyfeather through all this: her optimism. She's willing to go forward despite all this.

I know changing so much about your character is an arduous thing on Void because sometimes it involves getting into account result of fights and scar matches. And Lily grew both in BB AND battles, a nice balanced mix. And I wanna see where it goes.

Nice smut also.

Fred: The different interactions were fun and creative.
But there's a big thing that stop me giving you the edge.
It's a gorgeous piece of piwel art, and like many said here or on the discord, a whole ass dating game.
A dating game.
That's not so much a comic as it is a game. I know it's supposed to be a comic presented in a dating sim format, but that's still not what I can call a comic in the conventional sense.
(Creativity points edge for that.)
I still remember the amazing piece you did for Ragnarok 2016 back then I told myself "damn, I wish it was a small animated thing."
I truly think games and pixel arts are your true calling.

Jade★
Council
1083 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 08:43 AM
Copypasta from Discord as requested:
I loved the character exploration for Lily especially, and you did a great job of combining comedy with interesting character growth and stuff
loved the sprite work
felt like reading a visual novel
@Shen I liked how you made this a resolution to multiple plot threads, including a sort of partial sense of closure for what happened that one Halloween party. You did a great job of taking a sex scene involving some unhealthy reasons for having sex and just some generally uncomfortable (but interesting!) subject matter and turning it into a serious discussion for Mort and Lily to become closer as a couple and gain a new level of respect and understanding for each other
I love how both comics ended with Mortimerr and Lily still not being romantically interested in each other, but having a bit more tolerance and respect for each other
I think that was a really nuanced ending that kept certain aspects of their relationship complicated in a very good way while giving the audience a sense of resolution
Quote

Pita
Community Manager
258 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 08:31 AM
FRED- Some typos and black text aside, this was a case of working smart.  The visual novel approach punctuated the sex scenes when they happened, and the static images outside of those scenes made the dialog that much funnier.  I'm also gonna give a respectful nod for NOT sexually pairing Lilyfeather and Mortimer in your story.  Their relationship, however it manifests, needed to start off on equal footing, and I think the cheek kiss was a sweet beat towards that.

SHEN- You addressed Lilyfeather's trauma head-on with this encounter.  Thank you.  And while they don't love each other, I think Mortimer is a good ally to have if only to be more level-headed and knowledgeable about demon etiquette.
Spoiler: show
The body arrangements are still a little awkward when it came to the sex scene, mainly with Mortimer's placement.  He's positioned too high at the top of page 9, it looks like he's thrusting into the air.  You're getting better, it was just odd in that instance.


And I think that's something both these entries do very well--they portray Mortimer as a husband of convenience who doesn't treat Lilyfeather like a possession.  She got a best case scenario with this arrangement, even if it's awkward to talk about with any of her upcoming dates.  I guess they gotta be cool with an open marriage.

InvaderDiz
Artist
72 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 08:06 AM
There was a level of polish on both of these that was really enjoyable to read.
Fred, I loved the twist of laying yours out like a dating sim. It flowed incredibly well and was very easy to read. I especially liked the details in your borders. I did notice some misspelled words that kept this from being perfect however.
Shen, I don’t think there’s a crit I can make. For what you set out to make I think you did just that and did it incredibly well.

SnowyMoth
Artist
126 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 15 2021, 06:49 AM
I really liked both comics, really nice work!

Fred- I really liked how you showed each character's personality, I loved how it looked like a dating sim, with illustrations and all!

Shen- Yours was really nicely written, and I love your art style! The colors were so nice! I'm happy Lily is starting to get on with her life after such a horrible experience.

Dechado
Artist
253 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 14 2021, 09:53 PM
Fred: This was not a comic, but a mock up dating sim. Gave me a good laugh, thank you!

Shenpai: The ending was really touching, I'm so glad Lily is finally healing!

Animeshen
Artist
1416 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 11 2021, 02:59 PM
THIS IS A SMUT BATTLE AND THESE COMICS WILL BE NSFW! First page of mine will contain appropriate trigger warnings.
FOR THE UNINITIATED:
In the Halloween collab of 2016, Mortimer spent the evening stealing souls from people and later bartered with Lily all their souls for hers. It spans the entire collab but heres the specific scene where they met: https://sta.sh/21uq0ov8c6wl?edit=1

A year later they accidentally got married due to a loophole in Lily's contract https://entervoid.com/comic/6244

When lily was dragged to Hell at age 19, she was set up a room in Mortimer's home. https://entervoid.com/view/7230/1/1

Jade★
Council
1083 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 1 2021, 08:21 PM
Love the double meaning of this title XD

Fred
Artist
549 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 1 2021, 10:47 AM
alt: FUCKING HELL

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Nov 20th, 2021
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 713
Winner: Animeshen
 

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