Light Speed Death Tournament 2021, Round 1 / Vorania vs. Manda Naranja

Light Speed Death Tournament 2021, Round 1 / Vorania vs. Manda Naranja

Light Speed Death Tournament 2021, Round 1 — Vorania vs. Manda Naranja

This comic has been rated adults only by its creator(s)

Icon for Vorania50.8%
630 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
TW// dismemberment, gore, blood, radical attitude
tags: blood, death, death match, gore/violence, light speed death tournament, manda naranja, vorania


by snager

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Manda Naranja49.2%
610 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
this is my first ever submission for a real honest to god original character tournament. I spent a lot of time making sure the art looks as slap dash and hap hazard as possible.
tags: flash warning, manda naranja, strobe, traditional media, vorania, water colors




Critiques & Comments
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ElectricCleric
Artist
8 comments
# 11   Posted: Sep 7 2021, 12:24 AM
I'm kinda new to critiques so I'm not really gonna be able to input much, sorry snager.

BUT

you were a great opponent and I'm glad to have gone against you! I hope we can do more battles in the future and you did wonderfully for your first ever tournament round. good job!

snager
Artist
209 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 6 2021, 10:12 AM
OK guess it's time to comment on my own battle for reals

Electric: You were a good opponent for my first tournament and death battle. very sweet and excited. I enjoyed getting to learn Vorania's character design. If I could change something about it, I'd give her big clunky hands and feet to make her look heavier/sexier.  I was too busy trying to decide if I liked your story or not and wasn't too concerned with if the art was good or not. I figured we all only had 4ish days, so this would be about story, mostly. that said, I didn't notice the white outlines, because they are a symptom of what I DID notice, which is a pallet with a lot of black/dark colors in it. in a art design with black outlines (as opposed to painterly / rendered art styles) you can't be using actual black except as spot-blacks and cross hatching or screen tones to build value. I always assume everyone is doing everything on purpose, but i'm not going to tell you to stop doing white outlines if you're going to be sticking to your dark color pallet at the same time. there's a lot of bad-take lessons out there on 'value' and shit, but all it comes down to is contrast: blue contrasts orange and red, black contrasts white. brown doesn't have a contrast and neither does gray. but you have to just mess around with it and learn by trial and error, study what other people are doing. but for what you drew, I can tell you were having fun the whole time. thanks for being so enthusiastic and everything~! <3

self: i got mixed reviews on what went wrong or right, here. some people said it was clear Manda was the one who called the cops, another said they couldn't even tell where the speech bubbles were supposed to be coming from and would have preferred a more overt method on this short of story. very disappointed in myself. I was trying to be experimental on too short of story and now i'm being a poor sport about it. wish i had an easier time remembering everything i've learnt and executing it correctly.

but on to positives! Manda isn't the kind of character to let a thing like Death take her down. loads of ideas for Beyond Battles and opportunities for Month of the Dead!

Footini
Artist
318 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 5 2021, 11:59 PM
Electric: gnarly kill.  I know love Vorania

Snager:Remember kids, snitches get stitches.

TheCydork
Artist
581 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 5 2021, 10:20 PM
Electric - First battle fuck yeah!! I pretty much totally agree with Frazzler so I won’t repeat it haha. Though I do have to say, “I’m hungry” “that’s a dumb name” made me chuckle.

Snager - Really clever to style this as another Radical Government PSA (TM). It also feels somewhat like military propaganda which added another layer to things. The last page has really odd composition though and feels quite stark, being mostly white and having the final panel squished into a corner.

Frazzler
Artist
34 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 4 2021, 06:33 AM
Electric: Great characterisation. From both Vorania and Manda, I bought them each as characters. You went for some unique and dynamic panel comps in page three and I felt that went a long way towards selling the danger and intensity of the situation. Which was extra effective as the comic began in a much more jovial place. Not sure about the white outlines personally. I feel like they have been used as means of keeping key elements from getting lost in the BG- if so I'd say have some more faith in yourself, you want these characters to look like the belong and interact with the world.

Snager: Great poses, great expressions, nice gags. I feel like there was a cool limited pallet going on in page one and that sorta fizzled out as the BG changed between scenes, but I thought it looked really nice and that a restricted pallet throughout would be cool.

Flytee
Artist
268 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 4 2021, 05:52 AM
Congrats to both of you on your first tourney entries >:3 This was a rad battle.

Electric- Fun comic! I enjoyed the advert set transitioning to Vorania's tv- that was actually a pretty slick setup for both these characters. Everything that follows has good energy and was entertaining to read through.
you've already had some good crits so I'll leave it there! Great job!

Snager- This was great, I always enjoy your art style and the expressions/ physical humour you pull off. I also appreciate the little details, like Vorania creating a crack on the cashier counter when she slams her cash down.
I loved the PSA parody at the end, part of me wishes that was a running theme throughout the comic, it would've given Manda more to say and do. That aside, I did enjoy this comic overall.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
299 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 3 2021, 10:33 PM
Congrats on completing you first battle eli! Both these comics were fun to go through.

PyrasTerran
Global Moderator
1493 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 3 2021, 04:36 PM
Electricelectric: Welcome back to void! In future comics I recommend sticking to a single size and type of font (changing colors is fine), you need to learn the fundamentals of good word ballooning before you can start bending/breaking the rules. I'm not yet sold on outlines around your characters for more than gag panels, that cut-out effect doesn't work well with the more serious panels especially. On backgrounds, I totally get that the short time period makes going ham on backgrounds a tough sell. I'd recommend at least one really good establishing shot starting off in future comics. A good establishing background panel can carry a lot of work for your readers for these later cramped panels.. speaking of cramped, another thing I would encourage you challenge yourself with is varying the camera angles. Quite literally half of Manda Naranja's positions are front-3/4th's-facing from the waist up.

snager: There's something dark and surreal about this that's hard to not like, points for animation with watercolors. I think you need to experiment with thicker lines in certain areas to keep figures and shapes from getting lost in the colors. Try looking for a thicker sharpie and practice a bit with thicker outlines for characters, foreground objects vs background objects, etc. whatever you need to make panels easier to read. You also need some more practice with word balloons, in particular I think you would benefit from a less basic digital looking font, try finding something with a bit more character in its strokes, something that better matches your visuals.

Good job both of you, keep it up!

snager
Artist
209 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 2 2021, 11:17 PM
you better buckle up your biggest pants and get ready for an ass kickin! I'm excited for this! get ready to make orange juice soda out of this naranja
Quote from: ElectricCleric

INGREDIENTS
4 fresh oranges, peeled
2 cups ice
1/3 cup milk (your preference – regular, soy, coconut, etc.)
1–2 tablespoons honey (or agave or your desired sweetener), if needed
1 teaspoon vanilla extract, store-bought or homemade
INSTRUCTIONS
Combine all ingredients in a blender, and blend until smooth.  Add more ice if you would like.
NOTES
My favorite trick with this is to pop the peeled oranges in the freezer for 30 minutes prior to making these.  So that they’re not thoroughly frozen, but definitely chilled and beginning to freeze.  Then you can use slightly less ice.  :)

source: https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/fresh-orange-smoothie-orange-julius/

ElectricCleric
Artist
8 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 30 2021, 12:43 AM
you better buckle up your biggest pants and get ready for an ass kickin! I'm excited for this! get ready to make orange juice soda out of this naranja

snager
Artist
209 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 30 2021, 12:22 AM
This idea was actually the first one I came up with when I decided to come up with ideas for every. single. entrant.

i could have stopped with the first one??????????????????????????????

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Sep 5th, 2021
Votes Cast: 33
Page Views: 363
Winner: ElectricCleric
 

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