The winds of time / Dairyu vs. Charlamagne

The winds of time / Dairyu vs. Charlamagne

The winds of time — Dairyu vs. Charlamagne

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Dairyu
Page 1

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
I wanted to make this a bit longer, unfortunately I got sick a couple of days in and had to cut out some of the ideas I had. I still had a lot of fun, thank you for the battle, StealRehn!
tags: scar match


This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Charlamagne
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
WOAH MAN! This was a big one! Probably my most ambitious comic to date, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a blast drawing it!
I hope you enjoy it Snowy, I enjoyed drawing Dairyu!
(PS. I hope you don't mind that I used the same sort of diagram in the first few pages for Dairyu's pantheon that was in her intro!)
(PSS. Big big thanks to my good friend, RotationAxis for helping keep me motivated, as well as helping me write up the info dump at the end while my brain was fried)
tags: charlamagne, dairyu, scar battle, time




Critiques & Comments
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SnowyMoth
Artist
118 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 15 2021, 12:51 PM
This is my farewell to EnterVOID as a site. I've been fighting with my feelings about this for a few months now, and this was the final nail in the coffin.

I want to preface this by saying I fully expected to lose this battle, and the results don't matter to me. Unfortunately, I saw the first votes on the match, which gave me a lower score than even the first comic I made on this site, back in 2012.

This tells me one of two things - that I really haven't improved in the span of nearly a decade, or that people dislike me so much that they can't separate their feelings enough to either not vote, or to vote unbiasedly.

Win or lose, I'll update the character sheet in case I decide to try the site again. However, right now, I'm done with the site.

Kilcra
Artist
33 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 15 2021, 11:38 AM
Snowy: I enjoyed the polished style and exciting angles in this one. The simple color palette was clean and very easy to follow. I had to read it a few times to understand what was going on, and I think the story isn't paced right. I was very unclear about why the characters would want to interact with each other at all, much less kill each other. Establishing the character's motivations in those couple of text-less panels at the beginning would have gone a long way in this comic. I'm also not super sure what happened at the end and why Dairyu went for Charlamagne's throat after appearing so weak in the fight before that. You ended by stating that Dairyu didn't get to tell Charlemagne why she sought him out, but I don't feel like the intrigue was built up enough for the reader to want to learn that info. Charlemagne left this encounter having been randomly attacked and wounded, and while it's fine that he isn't clear on what happened, I don't think Charlemagne had enough info on his attacker to want to know why he was attacked. From his perspective, he got injured while being mugged essentially, and Dairyu never revealed her perspective, so as a reader it was hard to connect to this one.

Steal: You went all out in establishing Charlemagne's background and giving us background into how he thinks. When Dairyu attacks Charlemagne, you gave us a reason right away: "You hurt someone. Someone close to me." It's vague, and that's good, because Charlemagne clearly doesn't care either. You established that he's inconsiderate and rude from the get go, and watching his reactions consistently show his rudeness is fantastic. The panels on page 8 communicate that Charlemagne possibly bit off more than he can chew, and showing his head tilt up like that was such a great idea. I left this feeling like I learned a lot about the characters. Great work!

IItherockmanII
Artist
11 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 15 2021, 10:39 AM
Snowy - I'm amazed you still delivered this much even though you were sick. I LOVE how you draw characters, your style is one of my personal favorites here on the site. Liked a lot the color of the comic. My only critique is the color you used for the "SHNG" (wings activating the time manipulation) panel.

Steal- The dedication and ambition you poured in this comic SHOWS, all the important elements are there. One thing I see you can improve on is the artline of the characters, it feels a little "doubtful/messy".

Good job both of you!

PutridVodka
Artist
98 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 13 2021, 02:46 PM
Snowy-
Wow wow! Those lines are INCREDIBLE!! Your art really shines in this round, it looks absolutely lovely!! Regardless of your unfortunate circumstances, this is a great round, and the visuals are gorgeous!

Steal-
I'm in awe with how great your actions scenes are! The pacing is really damn good and the greyscales make the blood pop really nicely! I enjoyed the buildup and the battle so much!

Fantastic match overall to both!

ElectricCleric
Artist
8 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 13 2021, 10:46 AM
Snowy: I love your clean style and your action. Everything feels coherent and exciting to read through. Your angles are very exciting and you make both characters have a great presence. The smoky effects are a really great touch. I do feel like some of your panel composition became a little bit harder to follow after Dairyu transformed, but the chaos could also lend to the intensity of her god form. I also love the scar, very creative!

StealRehn: I feel like you really need to get more confident with your linework. But even then, you still create such clean poses and action, and express your characters well. Your pose-work and action sell really well, and I always enjoy reading your work and seeing the action you bring. The story attached to Char is fun to learn as well. You have great composition of frames and you sold all the action fairly well. I will say that you faltered a bit when it came to him attacking her dragon form, as that became a bit harder to read the motions, but the big money shot was amazing and your scar has plenty of implications that could be very creatively expanded upon. I'm personally not a huge fan of the wall of text affixed to the ending, but I can somewhat understand the struggles of displaying a complex concept like that in such a short timespan.

Good work the both of you, I can't wait to see who wins! I'm also excited to bring in Char's angry daughter after this. She'd love if her dad couldn't talk anymore~

ManDemolition
2 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 13 2021, 10:23 AM
To Snowy: I'm sure you know the song-and-dance already; your art is nice and crisp, and I'm glad you were able to finish it as you see fit. However, the story did suffer for it, and this could be a scenario where it's better to have a full story and sketchy work than the other way around. Regardless, you did fantastic with the difficulties you had to deal with.

To Steal: The quality of your work is definitely improving, and there is excellent pacing. Based on your comics beforehand, not much else can really be said besides "Great Job!".

StealRehn
Artist
4 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 12 2021, 08:50 PM
My stuff is all uploaded aswell! Much like Snowy's my last scar battle is helpful for context in my battle! Looking forward to seeing this play out!

SnowyMoth
Artist
118 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 10 2021, 03:53 PM
I've uploaded my comic, I would recommend reading StealRehn's previous scar match for full context (though it isn't needed): https://entervoid.com/comic/7372

Thanks for the battle!

TheCydork
Artist
572 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 30 2021, 03:22 AM
Violence!!

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
276 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 29 2021, 10:56 PM
AVENGE ME!!!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Voting ends in
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Votes Cast: 14
Page Views: 590
 

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