The winds of time / Dairyu vs. Charlamagne

The winds of time / Dairyu vs. Charlamagne

The winds of time — Dairyu vs. Charlamagne

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for Dairyu50.8%
514 points
Page 1

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
I wanted to make this a bit longer, unfortunately I got sick a couple of days in and had to cut out some of the ideas I had. I still had a lot of fun, thank you for the battle, StealRehn!
tags: scar match

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Charlamagne49.2%
497 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
WOAH MAN! This was a big one! Probably my most ambitious comic to date, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a blast drawing it!
I hope you enjoy it Snowy, I enjoyed drawing Dairyu!
(PS. I hope you don't mind that I used the same sort of diagram in the first few pages for Dairyu's pantheon that was in her intro!)
(PSS. Big big thanks to my good friend, RotationAxis for helping keep me motivated, as well as helping me write up the info dump at the end while my brain was fried)
tags: charlamagne, dairyu, scar battle, time

Critiques & Comments
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# 15   Posted: Sep 21 2021, 03:53 PM
Thanks so much the battle, Steal, I did really have fun with this comic. I love how you had so much lore in yours, and your angles were super ambitious, awesome work! I hope you don't mind if I keep your scar semi-canon anyway, it really grew on me while I was waiting for the voting deadline to pass. : )

Thank you to everyone else who left a comment, I always appreciate it.

# 14   Posted: Sep 20 2021, 11:55 PM
Good stuff, you too.

Also, good luck, Snowy, on whatever you do next in the future.

# 13   Posted: Sep 20 2021, 09:50 AM
While it's unfortunate to see you go, Snowy, I do hope that you can find joy in your future endeavors! I would love to see you return some day, as you've been a big inspiration for me in my own time here, particularly seeing your work with Fluff! I greatly enjoyed your side to this battle, the artistic quality you put out was fantastic! Especially when considering that you were sick!

Once again, I wish you luck in the future! And I can only hope that your time in Void was worth it! I think that as a final comic for the site, this is a good high note to leave off on!

# 12   Posted: Sep 20 2021, 01:41 AM
Snowy- I'm going to stick a comment here just in case you pop back ;) This comic is visually stunning, I love the tonal shading and how fluid and dynamic your linework is. The paneling is such a treat as well, I adore how you use overlapping clouds, wings, and eyes just to help the reads eyes travel down the page, lovely work!
Story-wise this was a great, well-written scene, I loved Dairyu's quip at the end.  

Rehn- This was great! On the visual side of things, The panel layouts flowed really well and helped keep me engaged in the story & action scenes. I'll second Cy's point about body language, that was very strong!
In terms of crit, I think your Lineart was a bit shaky at times, I'd love to see you experiment with some different brushes, which might add some more line diversity or texture to the strokes, I think that will really enhance what you can already do.
In terms of writing, I don't have any crits or suggestions for you, this was a really solid story full of insights and interesting moments, great job!

# 11   Posted: Sep 18 2021, 05:17 PM
Snowy - I know I’ve said it already but, I’m really sorry Snowy. It’s definitely not you. Anyone with eyes can see you’ve improved. People in void can have issues separating art from artist sometimes and you’re not alone in feeling disillusioned by it. I’m sad to see you go though :(

It feels strange to still comment on the comic but here I go haha. The palette is lovely and I ADORE how Dairyu scars Charlamagne. It’s both beautiful and horrifying. It was a great comic to say goodbye with.

Rehn - I really, really like the opening vignette. The dynamic between Charlamagne and his mentor is very clear, and the body language is really good. It’s also a great story hook because Charlamagne is so different to the way he is now. Very creative scar, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about how temporal energy could go wrong for somebody. Great angles in the fight too!

# 10   Posted: Sep 15 2021, 12:51 PM
This is my farewell to EnterVOID as a battle site. I've been fighting with my feelings about this for a few months now, and this was the final nail in the coffin.

I want to preface this by saying I fully expected to lose this battle, and the results don't matter to me. Unfortunately, I saw the first votes on the match, which gave me a lower score than even the first comic I made on this site, back in 2012.

This tells me one of two things - that I really haven't improved in the span of nearly a decade, or that people dislike me so much that they can't separate their feelings enough to either not vote, or to vote unbiasedly.

Win or lose, I'll update the character sheet in case. However, as of now, I'm done with battles on the site.

# 9   Posted: Sep 15 2021, 11:38 AM
Snowy: I enjoyed the polished style and exciting angles in this one. The simple color palette was clean and very easy to follow. I had to read it a few times to understand what was going on, and I think the story isn't paced right. I was very unclear about why the characters would want to interact with each other at all, much less kill each other. Establishing the character's motivations in those couple of text-less panels at the beginning would have gone a long way in this comic. I'm also not super sure what happened at the end and why Dairyu went for Charlamagne's throat after appearing so weak in the fight before that. You ended by stating that Dairyu didn't get to tell Charlemagne why she sought him out, but I don't feel like the intrigue was built up enough for the reader to want to learn that info. Charlemagne left this encounter having been randomly attacked and wounded, and while it's fine that he isn't clear on what happened, I don't think Charlemagne had enough info on his attacker to want to know why he was attacked. From his perspective, he got injured while being mugged essentially, and Dairyu never revealed her perspective, so as a reader it was hard to connect to this one.

Steal: You went all out in establishing Charlemagne's background and giving us background into how he thinks. When Dairyu attacks Charlemagne, you gave us a reason right away: "You hurt someone. Someone close to me." It's vague, and that's good, because Charlemagne clearly doesn't care either. You established that he's inconsiderate and rude from the get go, and watching his reactions consistently show his rudeness is fantastic. The panels on page 8 communicate that Charlemagne possibly bit off more than he can chew, and showing his head tilt up like that was such a great idea. I left this feeling like I learned a lot about the characters. Great work!

# 8   Posted: Sep 15 2021, 10:39 AM
Snowy - I'm amazed you still delivered this much even though you were sick. I LOVE how you draw characters, your style is one of my personal favorites here on the site. Liked a lot the color of the comic. My only critique is the color you used for the "SHNG" (wings activating the time manipulation) panel.

Steal- The dedication and ambition you poured in this comic SHOWS, all the important elements are there. One thing I see you can improve on is the artline of the characters, it feels a little "doubtful/messy".

Good job both of you!

# 7   Posted: Sep 13 2021, 02:46 PM
Wow wow! Those lines are INCREDIBLE!! Your art really shines in this round, it looks absolutely lovely!! Regardless of your unfortunate circumstances, this is a great round, and the visuals are gorgeous!

I'm in awe with how great your actions scenes are! The pacing is really damn good and the greyscales make the blood pop really nicely! I enjoyed the buildup and the battle so much!

Fantastic match overall to both!

# 6   Posted: Sep 13 2021, 10:46 AM
Snowy: I love your clean style and your action. Everything feels coherent and exciting to read through. Your angles are very exciting and you make both characters have a great presence. The smoky effects are a really great touch. I do feel like some of your panel composition became a little bit harder to follow after Dairyu transformed, but the chaos could also lend to the intensity of her god form. I also love the scar, very creative!

StealRehn: I feel like you really need to get more confident with your linework. But even then, you still create such clean poses and action, and express your characters well. Your pose-work and action sell really well, and I always enjoy reading your work and seeing the action you bring. The story attached to Char is fun to learn as well. You have great composition of frames and you sold all the action fairly well. I will say that you faltered a bit when it came to him attacking her dragon form, as that became a bit harder to read the motions, but the big money shot was amazing and your scar has plenty of implications that could be very creatively expanded upon. I'm personally not a huge fan of the wall of text affixed to the ending, but I can somewhat understand the struggles of displaying a complex concept like that in such a short timespan.

Good work the both of you, I can't wait to see who wins! I'm also excited to bring in Char's angry daughter after this. She'd love if her dad couldn't talk anymore~

# 5   Posted: Sep 13 2021, 10:23 AM
To Snowy: I'm sure you know the song-and-dance already; your art is nice and crisp, and I'm glad you were able to finish it as you see fit. However, the story did suffer for it, and this could be a scenario where it's better to have a full story and sketchy work than the other way around. Regardless, you did fantastic with the difficulties you had to deal with.

To Steal: The quality of your work is definitely improving, and there is excellent pacing. Based on your comics beforehand, not much else can really be said besides "Great Job!".

# 4   Posted: Sep 12 2021, 08:50 PM
My stuff is all uploaded aswell! Much like Snowy's my last scar battle is helpful for context in my battle! Looking forward to seeing this play out!

# 3   Posted: Sep 10 2021, 03:53 PM
I've uploaded my comic, I would recommend reading StealRehn's previous scar match for full context (though it isn't needed):

Thanks for the battle!

# 2   Posted: Aug 30 2021, 03:22 AM

# 1   Posted: Aug 29 2021, 10:56 PM

Comic Details -

Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Sep 20th, 2021
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 1299
Winner: SnowyMoth

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