PineCone and Zhu Yong Wei. / PineCone and Zhu Yong Wei

PineCone and Zhu Yong Wei. / PineCone and Zhu Yong Wei

PineCone and Zhu Yong Wei. — PineCone and Zhu Yong Wei

This comic has been rated suitable for all ages by its creator(s)

Icon for PineCone Icon for Zhu Yong Wei
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
PineCone, and SweetPea continues the adventures! Meeting with Zhu young Wei! Will they find Little Sue??
tags: pinecone, sweetpea, zhu yong wei

Critiques & Comments
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# 7   Posted: Aug 1 2021, 12:01 AM
I have no idea what’s going on here, sorry :( I feel like I can’t crit because I genuinely don’t have enough information to say anything. Although, I do wonder if this was incomplete or at the very least rushed? Because apart from the story and lack of colour, the lines as well look pretty wobbly and more like a sketch/first draft, especially for the background.

# 6   Posted: Jul 30 2021, 11:25 AM
I think I can appreciate what you two were going for: it's what I've always thought would be more productive, a collab where its still a battle, but each side is working together to depict the battle. but for some reason, it came out like a game of telephone.

what happened? :?

first confusing thing was the girls waking up on the street suddenly in new outfits. the second really jarring thing was when Zhu punched the kidnapper guy, then we switched artist and he's having a normal sit-down with the guy instead. third thing was the brother character bumping into them at the end and nothing is resolved, sweet pea just says 'lets get pizza!'

it almost felt like reading two universes' versions of events at the same time. which, you know, i'm sort of used to. but it was so strange. :v what happened during production to create these images.

# 5   Posted: Jul 30 2021, 06:29 AM
I got confused too as the comic feels a bit disjointed. I did follow the story somewhat but I had to fill in the blanks myself which is not ideal as there are huge gaps in the changes in character demeanor that I wish I'd seen develop onscreen (or at least displayed as a montage). I also thought Pinecone was the cute little creature and she looks like a girl here now (sidenote: I think her and Lilyfeather will get along lol).  

With that said, cute art and the story has lots and LOTS of great potential. I hope you two don't stop this arc because now you got my attention :)

# 4   Posted: Jul 29 2021, 11:55 AM
Sorry guys! I was very confused…. My suggestion is really hammer out that script before drawing.😬

# 3   Posted: Jul 28 2021, 10:42 AM
There was a lot of ambitious stuff going on here that I liked. The rich guy always walked the line between being cartoonishly evil and genuinely misunderstood, and I like that you didn't give us a clear vibe from him right away because it kept me guessing.
I'm definitely a little lost story-wise... like for instance page 8 doesn't seem connected to the rest of the comic, and the transition from page 10 to 11 has a steep emotional drop off that confused me. I know it was a collab, but I think making the emotions more consistent in the story would go a long way. Great job with this!

# 2   Posted: Jul 26 2021, 02:05 PM
hang on im confused i thought Pinecone was the, you know, critter not the statue girl... do they have the same name? do they share an identity? i wanna crit more but im CONFOUNDED on the whose who here. I like Zhu tho hes delightfully sinister, im laughing coz my Lily probably would have crushed on him also XD darn these magical girls and their terrible taste in men

# 1   Posted: Jul 26 2021, 09:53 AM
This really cute, but I was a little confused on how quickly people's attitudes changed between panels (and how quickly Zhu Yong Wei was willing to do so much for the two), and for what seemed like no reason. The art styles were really nice though, and I did like the expressions the characters had, nice work on this comic!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 1st, 2021
Votes Cast: 13
Page Views: 308

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