9 to 5 vs. Darren J. Cardinalis

9 to 5 vs. Darren J. Cardinalis

9 to 5 vs. Darren J. Cardinalis

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for 9 to 555%
356 points
Page 1

Crit level: No preference


This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Darren J. Cardinalis45%
291 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: 9 to 5, College Life, darren j. cardinalis, Fred v2.0.1, lucky lucy, MrPr1993, platinumartist, sliceoflife




Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
556 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 3 2021, 11:56 PM
Fred: This was one of my favorite 9 to 5 comics, both had some great expressions and the punchline in this was fantastic.

Platnium: I have told it to you in VC and I'm going to reiterate it. But when drawing make sure to spend like 30 minutes at the start of your drawing sessions practicing something like gesture/ studying specific anatomy/ practicing perspective just any kind of hard study before you go into your comics. You're going from comic to comic and while that can be good for your art you definitely need to take time to study and push your fundamentals so you can apply it to your comics and learn how to do more in less time.
 I like how you did the touch with everything going from colors to grays in 9 to 5's office. Cy and flytee had good points about the writing and make sure that your stories can change the status quote and don't be afraid of having your comics end at messy points in the story to help intrigue for future stuff.

Happy May 14th! -Reecer6
Artist
338 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 3 2021, 09:47 PM
fred: i continue to love and adore 9 to 5 on principle. very strong punchline :0

plat: this was cute! but i was disappointed the reason or nature of darren's profile inaccuracies wasn't explained, as it gives no real weight to the characters' meeting.

Flytee
Artist
237 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 2 2021, 05:09 PM
Fred- A really enjoyable comic, I loved how Darren looked in this style, 9 to 5's new model is looking slick as well! The writing was witty as always, nice job.

Plat-
Visually- I like that 9to5 is surrounded by an aura of greyness, that was a neat creative choice. Writing-wise, I think you did a good job at the start introducing Darren's positive personality. The story also flowed nicely.
Though speaking of the story it's probably my biggest crit, It fizzled out at the end. I expected an interesting shift to the status quo after the promising setup, but everything was resolved so swiftly- to the point where the plot hook felt like an excuse to get these two in the same room- which is understandable, but not terribly satisfying.

I know you have plenty of plans for Darren - you've built up a very wholesome, nice character here so I'm curious to see what's in store for him!


Fluffsamasprime
Artist
205 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 30 2021, 10:57 AM
Oh no! Did Darren enslave his ghostly crew?!

TheCydork
Artist
499 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 30 2021, 04:55 AM
Fred - Obviously it sucks that you lost your old model but I love 9 to 5’s new one! It’s really cute and a hell of a lot more expressive. Darren’s was also lovely, really nice stylisation, I feel it could be from a cute indie game or something haha. The story concept was cute, I love that you manage to think of new perspectives on situations taken for granted in Void, or any fantasy setting really. Darren summoning ghosts to perform definitely feels strange to me, but I’d never consider they needed to be paid haha. As for crits, the colours were pleasant but didn’t feel all that cohesive to me? Idk there didn’t seem to be a unified palette of that makes sense. Most of the colours went pretty well, but the aqua of the boxes and sky felt odd, I wonder if a muted mauve or lavender would have fit better?

Platinum - This comic felt somewhat pointless? It didn’t really feel like it went anywhere, the hook of the story was completely dropped so that Darren making a new friend could be the conclusion. What happened to the registry irregularities? I’d have liked to see them bond over fixing that rather than the Arma singing pulled out of nowhere. Also, the first page could have been cut. I love moments that aren’t plot related, just characters doing their thing, but just because they aren’t plot-related doesn’t mean they’re purposeless. A little moment like that should tell us something about the character. All that scene tells us is Darren likes singing, which we already know as that’s been pretty much his entire character so far. It isn’t a new facet worth showing.

Your time management also needs work - your backgrounds and general polish have taken a noticeable step down from your intro even with a month’s drawing time for these battles. This may not work for everyone, but I’d actually suggest taking a shorter battle, like a 24-hour or one-weeker, to push yourself and see how much you can actually do in a small timeframe. I found just a single one-weeker really altered my time management skills for Void comics and gave me a clearer idea of my workspeed.

I did enjoy other little moments in this comic though. The small talk with Lucy was surprisingly sweet, she feels more humanised here than some of her actual battles tbph. And like Fearn said, it was a nice touch to have 9 to 5’s office be grey like he is. Also I commend you for jumping into battles consistently and so soon after joining, it’s awesome and I’m glad to see it, so please don’t feel discouraged by my text wall!

Orion
Artist
220 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 29 2021, 10:36 PM
Fred: An enjoyable little vignette and fantasy contract humor! (my favorite type!) Using a small preset space varying the angles to keep it from getting stale and having those little touches. Love the new model of 9to5 he looks even more the very good boy I hoped he'd be. Love how you handled Darren's model too, realistic but staying simple and to your style. A fun little funky comic!

Platinumartists: oof. like Fearn I feel that 3rd page man. almost lost out on a whole semester myself after several bad semesters and its never fun sitting there. So I feel that. Makes 9to5 coming in bring up those calls backs that end up saving his college career. Doing good is what makes good guys and Darren and 9to5 certainly fit the bill. Like your compositions, everything is clearly placed and moves your eye. This ain't a beat down comic its the sinking dread of the edge of a precipice and being led to the other side of the bridge at the end. Keep up the good work Platinum I can't wait to see more from ya boy!

Fearn
Artist
365 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 29 2021, 09:57 AM
Fred: as always a joy. Your 9 to 5 comics are so great, I love what you doing with these! Both aesthetically and plot wise. That last line made me think of "this is NOT a pyramid scheme, those are ILLEGAL".

Platinumartist: as someone who had their scholarship taken away due to bureaucracy bullshit, this made my heart race haha. Thanks for that ;) Overall a nice comic, but the ending was a little flat. I like what you did with the colour scheme a lot, when 9 to 5s aura spreads everything turns grey!

Platinumartist
Artist
40 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 3 2021, 06:08 PM
Can't wait to see what you have planned for this fight! I'm gonna do a bit of experimentation with this one but the comic is still going to be given my best efforts. Oh man I'm super psyched for this battle, and funny enough I was thinking of that Dolly Parton Song when I was trying to come up with a possible story.

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
528 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 3 2021, 05:59 PM
https://youtu.be/UbxUSsFXYo4

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Apr 4th, 2021
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 688
Winner: Fred v2.0.1
 

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