Lovechild Tournament 2021, Round 1 / Yamato vs. Maddie the Mule

Lovechild Tournament 2021, Round 1 / Yamato vs. Maddie the Mule

Lovechild Tournament 2021, Round 1 — Yamato vs. Maddie the Mule

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Yamato43.1%
794 points
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Crit level: No preference


This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Maddie the Mule56.9%
1049 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: e.w. schneider, kozispoon, maddie the mule




Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
312 comments
# 15   Posted: Mar 17 2021, 06:21 AM
*CRASHES THROUGH THE  CLOSED DOOR LIKE THE KOOL AID MAN* I AM LATE!!! But I voted and just fell behind with the comments ^^"

Where the other match ups chose very similar premise, this one is an outlier that each  team chose  vastly different stories

Fluffysnow - Delicious spot blacks! Definitely your strongest points here and really enhanced the story. The story is simple and straightforward but at the same time heartwarming then heartbreaking (why you gotta play around with my emotions like this). I did get confused on how Maddie knew Yamato was a god (was it the crown of flowers?) and I did not see Yamato's god complex here.  He  was such a sweetheart. Love the carry over of the anti meta sentiment in your comic too...BTW, I still feel so sad for Maddie. Just the thought of a child calling out for help and no one coming over to rescue her until it's too late ..heartbreaking. I felt Yamato's pain.  You guys got me there ;_;

Kozschneider -  DAMN....you guys really went all out. 30 pages with no degradation in quality. Full on plot  that explains the existence of lovechildren. A good setup to carry over for the rest of the tourney. All that juicy story telling stuff. Yamato's personality here  per his character bio really shines. He was painted the bad guy sure, but a part of me is also sad that his existence came to be as a manufactured soldier, presumably not growing up to experience the love and care of his parents (or genetic contributors in this case).  The relationship between Maddie and Clyde is also interesting. Clyde's reaction to being a reluctant father is  very real. The only crit I have really is that if you look at the overall story, you'd think this is a Clydesdale comic and even though Maddie was portrayed in a lot of scenes here, she seemed more of a secondary lead character. But again, that sounds more like a nitpick. You guys are a force to be reckoned with. Good job!

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
247 comments
# 14   Posted: Mar 16 2021, 11:17 PM
I had so much fun with this! Thank ya'll for the comments and critiques! I fucking loved Kozi and Schnieders comic! Our boy is fantastic in it! I can't wait to see where Maddies story goes!

Kozispoon
Artist
1203 comments
# 13   Posted: Mar 16 2021, 09:31 PM
Somewhat enjoyed? We loved it! Especially me >;D

Great battle and comic, you guys. I had such expectations this was gonna be a rough and tumble brawl based solely on Yamato's bio and profile, so color me surprised when I read your side and found him to be something of a sensitive soul. Humoring a baby toon and wearing her flower crowns is totally not the characterization I was waiting for, but it was nice to see that benevolent side of an egotistical god. and the story wrenched at my heart in a surprising way. It's not easy to translate an 18- something god and a young toon that needs to meet her demise and still keep Yamato sympathetic, so I definitely understood the convenient faceless street gang coming in to pick up the slack. Man, Maddie going out was rough =< I'm still wondering what was in that syringe...

Your spot blacks and heavy shadows are something I definitely want to utilize more in my comics. I especially liked the way they translated in Maddie's hair. I'll agree with the inking quality critiques you've gotten, solely because I know on your own, each of you have such strength with inking. But its the first round- sometimes marrying styles and execution together can take some getting used to.

SnowyMoth
Artist
94 comments
# 12   Posted: Mar 16 2021, 08:18 PM
Is "you were never going to win" a valid critique now? XD

Anyway - I appreciate the critiques that we were given on this comic, and I hope to keep improving, comics wise. I already have plans to do more collabs with Fluff, so I'm hoping to iron out the process to make better comics!

To Kozi and Schneider, thanks so much for the great comic! I loved your portrayal of our character, and I hope you at least somewhat enjoyed ours. : )

snager
Artist
145 comments
# 11   Posted: Mar 16 2021, 01:14 PM
no one stood a chance against Kozi E.w's art, so forgive me if I jump straight to characterization and story telling.

I liked Yamato in Kozi and Ew's side better. He looks mean. he makes sense as a mean character.

however, I liked Maddie in Fluff and Snowy's side better. In her own story, she reads as 'child acting like a child,' which is the least endearing and most annoying type of child in the world. in Yamato's side, she's written as a savvy street urchin. maybe she's older in this version, but she's certainly more mature. in kozi and ew's side, she's reading as manipulative and dishonest because we just got told hybrids of random void characters are getting produced and it's pretty obvious she's a runaway, ala lilo and stitch.

so when Yamato kicks her (remember, I liked this Yamato better) it probably hits different for me than it was supposed to.

all that said, if there is ONE character smart enough to run away, why don't they ALL run away? even if i'm wrong and maddie is NOT a run away hybrid, the story doesn't explain why these super soldiers would want to follow authority figures who haven't done anything for them but brought them into existence. we don't owe you anything for putting a roof over our heads. and this 'super soldier' concept only really makes sense for Strigoi. Todd wouldn't tolerate it, nor would Snaffle and Loot. Llaana might enjoy it. but you seem to assume you'd make it to the next round, only to have perhaps written yourself into a corner when you try to explain this stuff. or maybe you were always going to have runaways be a big part of it, in which case, sorry i saw it coming X,D sounds neat

it's pretty obvious Kozi and Ew had been sitting on this canonization idea for a while: a standard explanation for why everyone's love children exist. certainly you don't have to accept this story, but it sure feels like some people are writing 'for void' and not just writing their characters to be as faithful as possible to their own vibe.

it's almost unfair to compare a simple story about two kids meeting in the park to this mammoth, world building endeavor but here goes.

In Yamato's side, Maddie is just a normal kid on the skids, an orphan? and yamato fails to protect her. that barely feels like a 'kill.' maybe they could have been two kids arguing over whether it was appropriate to pull a fire alarm and one of them winds up trapped in the building because Yamato said it was safe to go back to class because he didn't want to get in caught for vandalization and didn't realize the cherry bomb he flushed had ignited the bathroom. THAT would feel like a more direct action. but even if you came up with a really good snappy premise, it would have been hard to stand up to Kozi and Ew's overboard world direction.

Radji
Artist
571 comments
# 10   Posted: Mar 13 2021, 01:02 PM
FluffyMoth: I feel like It would have hit on much more levels if it was established that Maddie and Yamato already knew each other. Especially with such a setting where you establish than a big part of Yamato's life is fighting against meta prejudice.

Kozneider: People on Void knows that one of my fav tropes are parent/child relation. So it hit close to home, especially when the lovechild is that of two of my fav Void characters. I find it interesting how Clyde is predominant in this story, but be careful: It's lovechild tournament, not Daddy tournament.
That being said, I find Clyde and Maddie's interaction to be gold. I'm also very curious about the beginning.

Jade★
Council
1064 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 11 2021, 01:20 PM
Spoiler: FluffyMoth • show
This was such a cute and sad comic! I love these two, and was not expecting how wholesome their meeting was. I like that we get to see Yamato's fighting spirit at the beginning, even though most of the comic is just friendship and flowers. I also love the tragedy of the ending. That last page with Yamato mourning was beautiful, and I'm not sure if this was intentional or not, but I read his eyes opening as basically him thinking that he had the power that he could have protected her if he was there. The tragedy is that he could have saved her, but he just didn't know she was in trouble until it was too late.

My one big gripe about this comic is that it feels like the buildup to that tragedy at the end was a bit forced. You would think with all the anti-meta sentiment surrounding them, as well as Yamato having just fought off a gang of anti-meta attackers, that both he and Maddie would want to be more careful about letting her go off on her own. Maybe part of the tragedy was that Yamato went against his better judgment when it was clear he should have been there, but I'm not sure if that was the intention.

Regardless, it was a fun read, and I really hope we get more of Yamato no matter what happens!

Spoiler: "E. W. Spoon" • show
It makes me mad how you pulled off making such a long comic and still making it look as nice as this looks. I don't even know what to say. A+ art, interesting story, excellent fight scene. I love how you incorporated all of this VOID lore, including other characters (especially other toons). Old grampa Chimp Change was great. Having all the other Lovechild characters be the result of Colbitzer's plans to wipe out toons creates an excellent conflict, and giving them Reel Guns makes everything feel dangerous in a way it never would have felt for toons prior.

I don't really have much to say by way of critique. I worry about your mental health if you're doing 30 pages in 2 weeks, but you guys just seem to have a higher threshold than me haha. I'm both terrified and excited to see what happens if you make it to round 2.

I think it's really interesting that you guys incorporated so much VOID lore from what other people have done in their comics, but completely changed all the Lovechildren to make them better opponents for your own characters. That's such a smart way to ensure Maddie et al with always have a good reason to fight and kill whenever necessary. At first, I was concerned that you'd have to change your opponents' personalities in a way that would be kind of a bummer for them, and I guess that's up to them to decide, but it's stated that Yamato has a god complex and a short temper in his bio, and you guys showed that off spectacularly. Just some overall intriguing and fun storytelling. Also you cameo'd both Ancelin and Abby so I think that means I have to give you straight 10s? I'll have to double check the rules, but I'm pretty sure that's what that means.

Flytee
Artist
256 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 10 2021, 02:11 AM
SNOWY-FLUFFY
Overall a decent comic- I like the visual storytelling in the background of page 2, with the anti-meta graffiti. Also Seeing Yamato with a flower crown was both hilarious and adorable (I like to believe the unspoken deal was protection for flower crowns.) You two did a good job getting Maddie's sweetness across with moments like that, which really helped make the ending sting.
Unfortunately, the art never quite melds together and feels quite inconsistent, but when pages do work they're great (that final page was REALLY strong) I hope you two work together again and do more with Yamato, this felt like an early step in the right direction.

KOZI/SCHNEIDER
All of your prep work paid off big time, you two have clearly become a well-oiled comic-making machine.

Art- For me where it really shines is in the background, everything is bubbling with personality and meaningful details, like the post-it note on the fridge saying "avoid patrols" there was a lot of storytelling subtly happening in many panels, I dug that.  Oh, I thought the Reel gun was an excellent addition as well- that panel where we see it in action was so grim...nice job! I appreciate the fact you took the time to create and design a toon-specific weapon.

Writing- This felt like a really competent set up for something bigger and better, you sowed all the story seeds masterfully & got me invested in future instalments. All the Hybrid stuff/ creating a built-in explanation for future opponents presence was really smart. I just hope the encounters all feel fresh and don't fall into a samey pattern. The story here was tightly told and it built up to a great fight scene which felt impactful to me especially after losing an npc so brutally. The ending GREAT- I loved the realistic reaction Maddie had to all that madness that just ensued and how her Papa couldn't help but comfort her (related to art, but I adored how the colours bled back into your art at that moment)  

Excellent job, this comic made me dish out my first 10 on the site, so, I don't have much in means of Crits because I think you near-perfectly performed what you set out to do. I do however have hopes for the future in regards to how you use Maddie in the story, But I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

PyrasTerran
Global Moderator
1469 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 9 2021, 01:21 PM
Team Yamato: I don't really have much qualms with your story, simple as it is, the end still hits a bit so it makes up for the early setup's weaknesses, otherwise it's fine; but unfortunately I think this needed a lot more work in the visual department. I'm not sure what the issue is, but this feels like, when it comes to the characters in particular, it's actually *lower* quality work than what you guys are capable of individually. The wild expressions and dynamic range of Fluffsaprime's figures and the strong form and illustrative detail of Snowy's lines, it should have been a great meeting, but the character drawings in this comic are uneven and inconsistent and sometimes sloppy, and it seems like you guys had trouble translating Maddie's toon expressiveness (but this is a very difficult thing for most non-toon artists to do so, for sure). If you guys work together again I would suggest revisit your process and method, I have faith with some more time and practice you could pull off a work that is both narratively and visually strong.

Team Maddie: It's hard to argue this isn't a strong comic! The art is typical Kozi-tier beauty and Functionally the narrative works so well that I would recommend others on the site read this comic and take notes on good storytelling fundamentals both visually and written. Setting this in an AU where all the lovechildren share a common antagonist origin gives you lots of space to grow what seems to be the heart of the story which is Clydesdale and Maddie, and is a narrative weapon that gives you a big advantage in these battles. Since both of you are already pro-grade in both sides of the storytelling coin I feel comfortable going deeper into the weeds to pick at the most minute stray hairs, and here's the one that I'm most focused on: Strong as this narrative is, it's also, for me, extremely familiar. It's the "grizzled loner badass forced into a father figure role where he must protect an adopted child from a dangerous world, go on a journey and reflect on his humanity in the process" story, we've seen it in Logan, Last of Us, God of War, and many others, and while it's no small feat that you were able to replicate the formula with success, it's still an old tale being told with seemingly no new twists outside of it being told with toons, and it's otherwise an easy and *safe* way to tug at the heart strings. This should be fine for most people probably, but for me, I am hoping that if you make it to the next round, you're planning on taking this tale in new directions, take more risks, flip some scripts, lord knows you have the skill and speed to go beyond what's safe.

InvaderDiz
Artist
60 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 9 2021, 06:08 AM
The only issue I had here was with that Yamato seemed wildly different in both stories so I don’t know what their real personality is like.

Other than that both very strong showings. Fluff/Snowy, a good show but hard to know what’s going on if you’re not extremely caught up with current void events.

Kozi/Schneider, this is a perfect show, 10/10 across the board. My only complaint was that much like he previous comic, I was lost until some very well executed exposition got me right back on track. Also the toons and the colors in this are gorgeous.

TheCydork
Artist
526 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 9 2021, 05:06 AM
Fluff/Snowy - Really cool of you to mesh this with the current “narrative” on Void as it were, made for a tragic ending :( Interesting to see Yamato has a soft spot for kids, I guess you can only be so much of an asshole huh? I liked the use of spot blacks, especially on the last page. Overall the story was cute but went a little fast for me, I think Maddie and Yamato needed to spend more time together before the kill happened. They’re only really friends for a few panels and then separate the rest of the comic, so the ending loses some impact. I’d also have loved to see some colours, as some of the backgrounds feel a little empty even with textures. I know irl stuff came up though, so great job for finishing this comic in the first place!

Kozi/Schneider - What. The. Fuck. Just what the fuck XD This speed and quality... you’re a terrifying pair. The cover page and little animations immediately after were delightful, and the way you linked the meteor and the Smile to Maddie (and lovechildren in general tbh), weaving her into “canon” as it were was so clever! It’s clear you two have been planning this for a while. I loved the way you stylised Yamato, in both human and monster form, and his defeat was so creative! I’m glad that Maddie wasn’t the one actually doing the murder, poor kid, but just trying to help her dad (and inadvertently helping said murder BUT NEVER MIND ALL THAT). And man, the ending :( Maddie is so precious, I want to protect her, and I’m really interested to see how Clydesdale adapts to having a kid around, plus how he’s going to aid her in the tourney in general.

The only issue I had was that the beginning did seem to drag on a bit. The exposition was delivered very well and felt natural, but still seemed like A Lot. Some of this information could probably have been kept for later comics or synopsised a little better. Still though, really amazing turnout here.

PS Remembered something else I loved but dunno where to fit it in to the main comment, but the sprinklers going off to cause an indoor storm, and then shutting off when Yamato dies is such a nice touch. This whole battle was bursting with creativity.

Cab
Artist
116 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 22 2021, 05:25 PM
I expect a Yam-tastic story here, I look forward to this one

Footini
Artist
281 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 22 2021, 11:15 AM
Who's going to the most Tezuka here?

kubo
Artist
118 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 22 2021, 05:25 AM
Oh what a delicious matchup! I can't wait!

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1070 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 22 2021, 04:58 AM
:) good luck everyone!

Edit: I highly recommend reading The Heavens Themselves BB with Clydesdale Horse and Mimi the Mime before going into this.

Comic Details -

 
Type: Death Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Mar 16th, 2021
Votes Cast: 41
Page Views: 1517
Winner: Kozispoon and E.W. Schneider
 

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