Lovechild Tournament 2021, Round 1 / Snaffle &Loot vs. Llaana

Lovechild Tournament 2021, Round 1 — Snaffle &Loot vs. Llaana

Critiques & Comments

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Fluffsamasprime
Artist

188 comments

# 16 Posted: Mar 16 2021, 11:54 PM

The nightmare sequences were rad!
Snaffle & Loot: Loved the style change for the dream sequence

Llaana:Sooo gritty! Loved it!

Pita
Think Tank

242 comments

# 15 Posted: Mar 16 2021, 03:49 PM

LuckyCorn

Spoiler: show

FrenchFoot

Spoiler: show

snager
Artist

116 comments

# 14 Posted: Mar 16 2021, 12:48 PM

Footini and Lucky are two of my best bros from Void and I've already basically said everything to them I wanted to say in depth in dms, but here's my thoughts:

Lucky and Corn: I'm really impressed that you two put out such a nice, long, fully colored and nicely illustrated comic in two weeks! You had me worried, but you pulled through. most of the pages though came down to trying to show the audience that floof and doof love each other, but i didn't personally get the feeling. showing love would be having one sacrifice something for the other. what happened amounted to them just TALKING about their feelings. but forget all that. what's more impressive is the creative way you guys had Llaana's powers combine with snaffle's. This was good enough that I think Foot and Rad should just retcon it in if they win.

Footini and Radji: what you have to understand about this Llaana character is that she's been in gestation a long long time. Saal and Luise were fucking in the RP channel like a year ago. the whole Llaana character, the smut battle and the new Llaana comic that just came out is all a funky little love letter between Radji and Foot's characters. god, I wish that were me.

so when Llaana's comics don't make sense, it might be because foot and raj are forgetting the context that they've been marinating in together for a long time and stuff that people who hang out in the rp discord are all already aware of: that Llaana was conceived in this sorta meta non-canon dream world and her struggle to be born is a kind of performance piece about getting a NPC onto Void Central, the website. I think it's pretty dope.

but also, all of that is usually grounds for lower points: if a reader needs knowledge from outside the comics to understand a character, i mean. the inks are juicer, the character interactions pop more, but the story is very one-note. just a very short introduction of each character and a couple inciting incidents.

I wish best of luck to both teams as yall are all my friends

Footini and Lucky are two of my best bros from Void and I've already basically said everything to them I wanted to say in depth in dms, but here's my thoughts:

Lucky and Corn: I'm really impressed that you two put out such a nice, long, fully colored and nicely illustrated comic in two weeks! You had me worried, but you pulled through. most of the pages though came down to trying to show the audience that floof and doof love each other, but i didn't personally get the feeling. showing love would be having one sacrifice something for the other. what happened amounted to them just TALKING about their feelings. but forget all that. what's more impressive is the creative way you guys had Llaana's powers combine with snaffle's. This was good enough that I think Foot and Rad should just retcon it in if they win.

Footini and Radji: what you have to understand about this Llaana character is that she's been in gestation a long long time. Saal and Luise were fucking in the RP channel like a year ago. the whole Llaana character, the smut battle and the new Llaana comic that just came out is all a funky little love letter between Radji and Foot's characters. god, I wish that were me.

so when Llaana's comics don't make sense, it might be because foot and raj are forgetting the context that they've been marinating in together for a long time and stuff that people who hang out in the rp discord are all already aware of: that Llaana was conceived in this sorta meta non-canon dream world and her struggle to be born is a kind of performance piece about getting a NPC onto Void Central, the website. I think it's pretty dope.

but also, all of that is usually grounds for lower points: if a reader needs knowledge from outside the comics to understand a character, i mean. the inks are juicer, the character interactions pop more, but the story is very one-note. just a very short introduction of each character and a couple inciting incidents.

I wish best of luck to both teams as yall are all my friends

Flytee
Artist

229 comments

# 13 Posted: Mar 15 2021, 08:11 AM

LuckyCorn- I really enjoyed the dynamic between your two characters, it was very sweet and well written- the fact you chose to go with a duo love child & effectively portrayed their relationship, makes them stand out from the crowd to me. Art wise while some pages were weaker than others I always found something enjoyable in them- wither that was dynamic expressions or excellent colour choices. The shifting art styles were effective as well, I particularly loved the dream scenes. I think you've had some good crits already to I'll leave it there, that was a very fun comic!

RadFoot- One of my favourites combined art styles in this tourney, it really creates something so unique, I like it a lot. The violence in this felt brutal and honestly, the execution alone was enough to make it impactful- also that transformation scene with Llaana was some really strong body horror. Writing-wise, I enjoyed this in a similar way I'd enjoy a slasher movie, it was creepy, gory fun. Though If you do go through to the next round I'm crossing my fingers that any future instalment will add some more substance & hurdles for her.
(btw cute artists portraits)

Rivana
Artist

287 comments

# 12 Posted: Mar 12 2021, 01:11 PM

It's very interesting how both of you chose a very similar premise (just like Strigoi and Todd battle)

Corthin- I really really enjoyed your story. It's cute and heartwarming at first and then there goes Llaana to ruin everything for the siblings. I love the vibrant colors and it oddly works with the dark environment somehow. Only crit is that the dream sequence is a bit hard for me to follow due to the lack of detail and too much distortion with the shapes. A second look made it somewhat clear to me though but a part of me wasn't sure if the lack of detailing was a style choice or due to time constraints. I thought Snaffle falling asleep mid heist and the reasoning behind it (being Llaana) was a really good way to set up the plot! I was very impressed by that.

Radjtini - Wow your styles melded into something very nice! Footini your coloring really amped up Radji's dynamic inks and those SFX? Delicious! I do have mixed feelings for the choice of palette colors outside of the red. The muted pinks/purples kinda toned down the impact of certain scenes for me. It's hard to explain. It's overall pleasing to the eye and very pretty though I am uncertain if it fits what you were trying to convey (which is horror in this case). Also can I just say that sequence of Llaana coming out of the box is such [chef kiss]

Overall, both comics are great and I enjoyed reading them. I think the close scores is a testament on how we're all conflicted on who is the victor. No matter who wins, both teams really did a great job so pat yourselves in the back!

Bobo
Web Dev

1054 comments

# 11 Posted: Mar 11 2021, 12:30 PM

Spoiler: NoBread • show

This was a cute comic, and it's probably no surprise that I'm a sucker for saving someone through the power of love. I love how you used shifting styles to represent the mindscape, and having Loot crush Llaana with a rolled up newspaper was great!

On the flip side, I think this comic would have benefitted from being shorter so more time could be spent on varying up shots and giving more love to the backgrounds, as well as just giving it a more concise storyline. We spent a lot of time at the beginning showing Snaffle's and Loot's shenanigans, but I didn't really get a feel for their personalities any more than what I already could tell from their bio/design sheet. Actually, I think those two things did a better job of communicating their personalities than this comic. From this comic alone, I get that Loot is protective of Snaffle and will fight to protect or save her, but that's about it. I thought Snaffle falling asleep at the beginning was supposed to be showing off a part of her personality, but that ended up just being Llaana's meddling. Art-wise, we had a lot of mid shots that made everything feel like it was happening in very vague space rather than grounding the reader in the space you've created for them. That kind of works great for the mindscape portion, because it's supposed to be bizarre and confusing, but I would have liked more contextual backgrounds for the real world portion. I honestly have no idea where anything in the museum is relative to each other. If the comic overall had been shorter, you could have drawn more detailed backgrounds without having to draw too many of them.

All that aside, this was a fun comic! I loved the body horror element of Snaffle in her dream, and how much it scared Loot to see his sister like that. I loved his determination to do whatever he could even though he had no idea how to save her. And Llaana trying to take over Snaffle's body/magic in order to enter the real world was a great way to make me sympathize with her just a little bit even while rooting against her. Well done, and I hope we get to see more of these two!

Spoiler: RadFoot • show

[spoiler=NoBread]This was a cute comic, and it's probably no surprise that I'm a sucker for saving someone through the power of love. I love how you used shifting styles to represent the mindscape, and having Loot crush Llaana with a rolled up newspaper was great!

On the flip side, I think this comic would have benefitted from being shorter so more time could be spent on varying up shots and giving more love to the backgrounds, as well as just giving it a more concise storyline. We spent a lot of time at the beginning showing Snaffle's and Loot's shenanigans, but I didn't really get a feel for their personalities any more than what I already could tell from their bio/design sheet. Actually, I think those two things did a better job of communicating their personalities than this comic. From this comic alone, I get that Loot is protective of Snaffle and will fight to protect or save her, but that's about it. I thought Snaffle falling asleep at the beginning was supposed to be showing off a part of her personality, but that ended up just being Llaana's meddling. Art-wise, we had a lot of mid shots that made everything feel like it was happening in very vague space rather than grounding the reader in the space you've created for them. That kind of works great for the mindscape portion, because it's supposed to be bizarre and confusing, but I would have liked more contextual backgrounds for the real world portion. I honestly have no idea where anything in the museum is relative to each other. If the comic overall had been shorter, you could have drawn more detailed backgrounds without having to draw too many of them.

All that aside, this was a fun comic! I loved the body horror element of Snaffle in her dream, and how much it scared Loot to see his sister like that. I loved his determination to do whatever he could even though he had no idea how to save her. And Llaana trying to take over Snaffle's body/magic in order to enter the real world was a great way to make me sympathize with her just a little bit even while rooting against her. Well done, and I hope we get to see more of these two![/spoiler]
[spoiler=RadFoot]Short and sweet, just the way I like it! I'm glad you were able to find a good balance that let you craft such a high quality comic!

While I'm not sure what exactly the "waaawaa" sound effect was supposed to actually sound like, I liked the visual noise it added, making everything feel chaotic and claustrophobic. And the heartbeat sound effects growing more frequent as the comic went on was a wonderful touch. The brutality of the killings was also excellently done.

If I had one nitpick here, it's that because of Llaana's influence changing Snaffle's and Loot's personalities, we didn't really get to see them being themselves at all. Maybe that's not important in a death match where the focus is on revealing Llaana's nature and powers, but it might have been nice for them to have a bit better representation. It did seem fitting for Loot to end up being the one who got the cube, so maybe that's enough of an indicator of their different personalities.

The art was gorgeous; you guys really build on each other's strengths in a perfectly synergistic way, and I hope we get to see more! I'm also intrigued by Llaana's statement that S&L aren't real, and everything falling apart to reveal the bizarre world of that last panel. I want to know more, and it makes me happy to know that we'll get more even if you guys end up losing. But we'll just have to wait and see how things go![/spoiler]

Kozispoon
Global Moderator

1194 comments

# 10 Posted: Mar 9 2021, 01:24 PM

Gosh I love when this happens in battles and folks fire off on the same braincell. This couldn't of gone better if you planned it theme wise.

CORTHIN- It's clear you had fun filling in the unnatural museum with all manner of fun throwbacks and designs. I especially dug the tapedeck king wizard and snafle and loot becoming fashionable accessories to the caveman robots. You started out so strong, but your quality definitely takes dips and valleys as we go along. I think ironically your strongest bit was the dreamscape. Your exploration of shapes and form in an almost paper cut out style was really wild so its shame we lose some of the stylish rendering by pg 17. Still, the concept is what hooked me and I'm always here for a sweet scene between siblings. I dig these two's dynamic.

FOODJI- Someone was watching Hellraiser before the tournament

Suuuch old-school horror movie vibes with that puzzlebox that summons cenobite-err Llaana XD The gory imagery is ever Radji's wheelhouse and Footini managed to enhance that to chilling effect. The fact the box alone had such an influence it brought the siblings to murder left me gasping. I especially love the hint of Llaana's eyes grinning in the shadows behind them. Your moneyshot was by far the emergence from the cube. SUCH a macabre treat for the eyes to see this terrifying and not so little girl finally manifest in the 'real world'? Where are we? We started in a museum, but now we're in a hellscape of platforms? Where we goin' boys?

Spirogs
Artist

17 comments

# 9 Posted: Mar 9 2021, 01:16 PM

Corn/Nothin:
I’m with Invader Diz on this one. The swap to dream land was pretty slick, and got me invested.

Footini/Radji:
Pretty intense, solid horror movie vibes throughout.

Out of the characters, I think I liked Creepy Bug lady the best, but as far as story execution, Snaffle and Loot take it for me.

PyrasTerran
Global Moderator

1467 comments

# 8 Posted: Mar 9 2021, 12:24 PM

Great job guys!

Team SnaffleLoot: There's a lot of good ideas in this comic (the museum, the sibling camaraderie, Llaana's nightmare realm). In isolation, they're great. But they never really connect together cohesively. The art quality is a roller coaster and I think you guys might have hindered yourselves by giving us such imaginative backgrounds and such a cranked-to-eleven climax juxtaposed against such a large number of vastly weaker pages cause it makes the uneven feel all the more prevalent and it saps from the emotional core of the story as a result.

Team Llaana: Textbook Lovecraftian horror formula, heroes tragically doomed the moment they crossed paths with the horror. This simple and "clean" comic, exactly as long as it has to be, reads as much an intro comic to Llaana as it is a battle and that kind of narrative resourcefulness and page budgeting is appreciated. Like some of the other comics there's a clear "learning phase" in the early pages where you guys are still trying to get your bearings straight on mixing your styles but it comes to a strong finish in the end. But while you guys made things work well enough with your pencils and inks, The colors are not quite there yet. They're too muted/low contrast for the kind of horror happening here. If you guys do another comic with Llaana I'd suggest looking up Dario Argento, an old Italian filmmaker whose work with colors in his horror film Susperia has influenced generations since.

InvaderDiz
Artist

46 comments

# 7 Posted: Mar 9 2021, 06:30 AM

Corn/Nothin, honestly wasn’t feeling this one but holy shit when it went into the dream scape that changed my view completely. That scene was so vibrant and so interesting I absolutely loved it. Bonus points for unicorn t-rex!

Footini/Radji, what can I say other than a completely competent piece of work? A little confusing and short but supremely horrifying and well made which I’m pretty sure was the point.

TheCydork
Artist

480 comments

# 6 Posted: Mar 9 2021, 04:25 AM

Another battle with the same setting XD Did we all just share a braincell for this tourney?

Corn/Nothin - There’s a load of little details here I like - the “Unnatural” History museum’s name, the Unicorn rex, the robots in loinclothes (hi caveman TL bot). Snaffle and Loot’s sibling relationship came across really well and was super sweet. Loved the death too, both the cause, and the fact that Snaffle managed to conquer it herself with Loot’s support. Squash that bug!

The quality wavered quite a bit in this, and it was distracting for me while I read it. A lot of pages, particular in the first half, looked like inked thumbs, they were really wobbly and formless. When the art got going though, it really got going. The geometric, semi lineless style in Snaffle’s dream was gorgeous. I love the colours and how all the characters are stylised.

Footini/Radji - Story-wise, I was a little confused as to what was actually happening. I’ve read it a few times and I’m still not sure why the killing urges swap between the siblings and what exactly happens to Snaffle (was she beaten to death by Loot, or fused with Llana?). The use of the desaturated colours and frequent headshots didn’t help, as Snaffle and Loot appeared the same grey colour and height. However, the horror imagery was superb and pretty damn creative. I LOVE the centipede cube and how Llana slowly forms on page 4. Her centipede form and Loot’s death on page 5 was also *chef’s kiss*

Corn Of The Breads
Artist

147 comments

# 5 Posted: Mar 9 2021, 12:19 AM

felt very rust going into this especially with a new program but had a good time I hope everyone enjoys the comic.

Lucky Nothin
Artist

47 comments

# 4 Posted: Mar 8 2021, 11:55 PM

we fukkin did it bro, we made a comic

Footini
Artist

226 comments

# 3 Posted: Mar 8 2021, 07:03 AM

Big thanks to Radji for teaming up with me so we could give you all nightmares.

Credits for our side.
Story/script- both
Thumbs, inks, lettering and sfx -Radji
Pencils and colors- Footini