The two characters you were up against had a good dynamic in this comic and I like how you keep trying to push outside your comfort zone for different angles trying more different shots.
For your art along with doing some more gesture practice to get more fluid motions I would say practice some proportion studies. your heads end up being pretty small on most of the figures, most of the time the characters shoulders are more than 3 heads wide which is bigger than the average person and looks more like a proportional mistake than a style choice. also all the shoulders are abnormally flat but that's a thing you tend to do with your characters.
Despite it being crunch it still turned out nice and good luck with the next round of the OCT
[OCT] Azlantec Round 1 / Tyidid
Critiques & Comments
# 3
Posted:
Jan 28 2021, 08:29 PM
# 2
Posted:
Jan 23 2021, 11:24 PM
I really like the dynamic you portrayed here. You showcased both the characters personalities and their situations extremely well through the dialogue, and I had no problems following along. I loved the shot of Tyidid advertising the whip (I noticed one of the flags was literally just the VISA logo lmaooo) and the use of coloured silhouettes was also a smart choice for a deadline.
Onto crits. I’m in this weird position where I like this type of humour and I can see how it would work “on paper” so to speak, but the way you execute it I just... don’t feel anything? Like I recognise it’s supposed to be funny, but I don’t find it to be so, and I’ve felt this with some of your other comics too. Aside from improving the gestures and expressions, I think your compositions could be arranged in a way to let your jokes shine way more. For instance in 16.4, it’s already a pretty hammy and meta comment, why not ham it up further? Give us a close up of a frustrated Iko before he launches into prophecy talk, overlaid on a panel of Arthur shining and holding up the sword while Tyidid flings money to orphans behind him. It would also break up the text a little more, since impact tends to be lessened the more words there are in a bubble. But then again, I’m hardly the best person to give advice on framing comedic comics, so make of that what you will. I’ll get back to you if I can think of any good comics that use framing to help with comedy u-u
Onto crits. I’m in this weird position where I like this type of humour and I can see how it would work “on paper” so to speak, but the way you execute it I just... don’t feel anything? Like I recognise it’s supposed to be funny, but I don’t find it to be so, and I’ve felt this with some of your other comics too. Aside from improving the gestures and expressions, I think your compositions could be arranged in a way to let your jokes shine way more. For instance in 16.4, it’s already a pretty hammy and meta comment, why not ham it up further? Give us a close up of a frustrated Iko before he launches into prophecy talk, overlaid on a panel of Arthur shining and holding up the sword while Tyidid flings money to orphans behind him. It would also break up the text a little more, since impact tends to be lessened the more words there are in a bubble. But then again, I’m hardly the best person to give advice on framing comedic comics, so make of that what you will. I’ll get back to you if I can think of any good comics that use framing to help with comedy u-u
# 1
Posted:
Jan 22 2021, 10:16 PM
against atom and psijoel's arthur and ikoleio! you can see their side here!
i've got no introduction to their characters for you to consume but you're smart, you'll figure it out
note that this was under heavy time crunch because i made it too long and spent three weeks of the time period working on my last void comic so if the inks or colors seem rushed, that's why!
i've got no introduction to their characters for you to consume but you're smart, you'll figure it out
note that this was under heavy time crunch because i made it too long and spent three weeks of the time period working on my last void comic so if the inks or colors seem rushed, that's why!
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jan 30th, 2021
Votes Cast:
9
Page Views:
768
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