Domine / Enoch Gallagher

Domine / Enoch Gallagher

Domine — Enoch Gallagher

This comic has been rated adults only by its creator(s)

Icon for Enoch Gallagher
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: cults, Enoch Gallagher, gore




Critiques & Comments
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Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1180 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 4 2021, 09:59 AM
I’m struck by the visuals you’re cultivating here. It’s religious iconography, but you’ve given it your own culty twist which I personally appreciate. I much prefer high fantasy religious trappings than anything real life could throw at you.
This straight on focus on Enochs face from school nurse, to soul healer, and then serene masked cleanser reminds me so much of the toon Chimp Change's intro comic. Highly recommend reading it as I think it'd be a further source of inspo.
Covering his face while he enacts these deeds is a clever touch. Removes humanity from him, but also affords him a literal means to mask his...conflict? Personal feelings on the matter? It seems there may very well be a crisis of faith on page 2 while he stares into the mirror.
Despite this being a B.B I think this serves as a great intro story to really paint a picture as to what we should expect from this character. I am scared and excited!

Flutterbyes
Artist
298 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 31 2021, 04:54 PM
I've been rereading this comic all week. It's so hypnotic, and I can't get that mask out of my head.

 It's a little confusing on its own, without the extra reading and questions, and it just begs for more. I really am curious about his relationship with that figure, what it is he's running away from, and what his feelings are. On its own, the comic seems to suggest the figure is compelling him to do what he does, but I now know that's not the case and he's actually trying to keep him away. Maybe you could have upped his "looming" qualities even more just before the ritual? I suppose that was the intention, but since everyone else is a hooded figure, he disappears into the audience. I don't get the idea that he's been pushed away for now.

I feel like the star of this comic was that victim though. Maybe it's just how his panel was composed compared to the the others?

Rivana
Artist
270 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 31 2021, 04:39 PM
Putrid, I am so glad you finally added Enoch! This intro is divine (no pun intended). The atmosphere, script, visuals and the way you used colors to set the mood just sing together like  a harmony in itself. The contrast between Enoch's day job and who he really is is both disturbing and captivating.

That looming presence behind him is so creepy and those monkeys omg..=O

Also page 2 - that marble floor. Wow. Love the attention to detail adding the reflections and some hint of lighting. Very subtle but effective.

One crit is that last panel I think could've benefited more with a warmer/daytime background or lighting to signify that it's another day (kinda echoing what Cy said). I love that Enoch just looks kinda annoyed that the entity is back again.

Overall, high praises all around! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT! Ah, I am thirsting for answers about his story! I am excited about what he could bring to Void.

Flytee
Artist
208 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 31 2021, 04:49 AM
Excellent intro- you've set the scene for one hell of a story and I can't wait to read it.
I'm a big fan of the loving cult leader archetype- watching someone do evil things while speaking in such a benevolent tone is bone-chilling.
The pacing of this comic was solid as well- everything was carefully revealed and then abruptly ended with that final panel- it was jarring which added to the obviously extreme contrast between Enoch's two lives. Great work!
Another thing I want to sing your praises over- is the design of the red figure. It's so refreshing to see a sinister God (?) designed with bright colours & unusual imagery (monkeee) it makes me much more curious about them- I'm not sure I would've felt the same way if it had been an imposing gothic-looking figure.



ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
527 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 31 2021, 12:44 AM
My favorite thing about your art is your colors, there's something about the lighting that you are able to get just the right mood with them. This character is also pretty interesting and I want to know more about this. However this comic feels really safe.

You still need to work on your backgrounds, the second panel on page 1 is a good one and you should try to have more backgrounds like that in your comic. try to putting some more details or textures in your backgrounds to insuiate a bit more depth and texture so that the walls and floors at least feel like they're made of different stuff.
As for your abstract backgrounds You should do a little more than a gradient for most of them, it's passable but adding some kind of abstract shape or pattern to help emphasize the mood would do much more.

However the bigger problem is in your shot composition and panel compositions, there is next to no variety in them. The majority of this comic is fullbody and midshots all having the camera mostly level with the or close to the eyesight of the character, and the couple close ups and establishing shots that are there are the exact same way (I'm not sure if you're trying to go for a different view with enoch lookin in the sink on page 2 but it still looks like we're  at level with him rather than being in the sink below him). Pull the camera out more, show us an entire building or street and the characters are just little specks in the panel. Put the camera way above or below the subject so we can get some dynamic views. Trying different weird angles may be hard and they may not all work but you still need to try that stuff as it will help push your comics to an even higher level.
Also vary up your panel compositions, right now it's just squares and rectangles in the same spaced rows. It gives off a feel like this is a storyboard for a movie more so than a comic, which does definitely work at moments, but when you don't do anything else it losses it charm and you don't take full advantage of the comic medium. When Enoch stabs the knife  if it went over border panels it would have made a much stronger impact. When you get to moments of tension in your story you really need to push it not just with the art but the layouts and the compositions as well to make your comics truly shine.

You're a great writer and artist and when you start pushing your panel compositions and layouts more you will make some truly fantastic comics. This isn't a bad comic, it's a quite good one. But it's safe and it's not your first comic so I really want to see you do more and push yourself since you can make so much better stuff once you get outside that safe zone.

Footini
Artist
196 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 30 2021, 08:08 PM
This is one of the strongest intros I've seen for a character in a minute.

But for real tho how did everyone miss the figure the first time?
Like...did you like upload two page ones and one doesn't have it in there which only shows up the first time you read it?
That was like some black magic level of effective.

Camel
Artist
120 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 26 2021, 03:53 PM
Phenomenal intro. That looming figure being in the background of all the shots is such a magnificent touch that i too missed on my first read, details like that are the secret ingredient that separate good comics from great comics. Your pacing and lighting still continue to be your strongest suits, this comic unfolds slowly and with finesse, even though it's only 3 pages. The designs of the cult are effective, however they are a bit expected - hooded robes, creepy masks,  church with candles - these feel more like shorthand for "evil cult" rather than having their own identity - I think future comics, it would be really cool to see you flex your detail muscle with the cult, maybe hint at their lore, more about their doctrine.  Also, your lighting is great, however i think it will make the eerie scenes more effective if you work on your shadows - naturalistic shadows on Page 2, Panel 4 would've amped up the mood quite a bit.  Regardless, this is really killer.

TheCydork
Artist
439 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 25 2021, 10:28 PM
This was so damn good, wow. Idk what it is with your comics but you’re really good at creating an unsettling/ominous atmosphere. I loved the lighting in the church, and the panels where Enoch puts the mask on. It’s a great design, the juxtaposition of the serene smile and blood spatters really adds to the vibe. There was also this trippy effect for me where I initially saw the hooded figure appear first in panel 1.5, when he was clearly looming above Enoch... but on my second read I noticed him in the background of every single panel before then. It was creepy, like my third eye had been opened and now I was seeing him everywhere or something, haha.

My only gripe with this is the very last panel. I get from his outfit he’s back at work, but where is he? I think a larger crowd and a clearly mundane, separate location as a backdrop would have made the final words hit harder.

Shen
Artist
1353 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 25 2021, 08:47 PM
YESSSS God I love him so much fight me

Shen
Artist
1353 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 25 2021, 01:12 PM
MY BODY IS READY

FrankenToon
Artist
7 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 25 2021, 10:03 AM
yeess biitch, HYPPEEEE!!!!

Rivana
Artist
270 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 19 2021, 06:29 AM
So excited for this!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 1st, 2021
Votes Cast: 23
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