Deadlock / Gold

Deadlock / Gold

Deadlock — Gold

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Gold
78%
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
Hopefully the context should be clear through their dialogue etc, but if you wanna catch up, check out This is a Happy House and Celif vs. Gold. Discussion/analysis encouraged, I'm a slut for exposition through context and want to know how you all interpret this!

Fun Fact: This BB started out as a totally different BB before Lovechild, but during Lovechild I realised I'd improved and cba to redo the thumbs. But then while thinking about crits on my last BB and the effects of arma, I had this idea and decided to plough ahead. So anyway, you still get a BB so.. win??

PS The disappearing and reappearing glasses aren't a continuity error, it's a function of his shifting!
tags: arma, gold, post-armageddon 2020




Critiques & Comments
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Pizza Man
Artist
41 comments
# 13   Posted: May 31 2021, 06:10 AM
Doing things backwards this time! Most of this is technical crit but whenever part 2 comes out I'll talk about the writing and my general thoughts too! (I really shoulda had this out three days ago then it might've been worth the wait lmao)


Spoiler: show
 Page 1 Really love those first two opening panels, really enjoyed that use of shadows on panel 2. If I really had to pick at the second panel it’d be that if this is taking place during arma, a few more background demons to the mix would’ve really sold the chaotic factor of the situation. Panel three leads to some confusion I can’t really see where the hand is supposed to be sticking out of and the imagery next to it is a little too clustered for me to understand what I’m seeing. The transition is mostly solid again it’s just one thing where the repeated line felt like it could’ve used some variation beyond the last panels speech bubble being a little more jagged. Maybe have the first two speech bubbles be slightly blurry and the final one normal as Cain snaps back into reality. Dang that car interior tho making me jelly.

Page 2 Others have pointed it out and I just wrote an essay to Don about sfx so I won’t bug you too much on those but they definitely stick out in this comic and are a little more distracting than I expected them to be. At first I thought the car interior was too big but after seeing page 3 I think it’s about right? Anyways that’s a well made interior! I especially like the small details you put into showing this car has seen some shit and the scratched out sticker on the dash is a small detail I appreciate (having one on my car as well). The choice to have no background on panel 2 was an odd to me and I think it adds some confusion to the panel as it doesn’t look like Cain is really looking at Gold. That being said the same thing isn’t out of place on panel 4 it works fine there. I originally thought the hands on panel 4 were too small but I think they're fine. (And they really good hands too!)

Page 3 This isn’t really a crit and more of a personal preference I can’t get over but since the first panel continues onto the second I think it looks way better when the speech bubbles remain separate. When I see the top panel I personally just end up attributing all the text to the first panel and enter the second panel with no text to read. Weird Pizzaman hangups aside, I find the way you drew Cain snapping his fingers interesting. I tried it out myself and it does work and I think it works here now, I just never considered that a way to snap fingers until now. ( I lied about leaving my hangups out of the rest of this sorry :V) The cityscape in the background of the final panel is considerably flat looking which normally wouldn’t get to me but I think it got to me in this case because everything around it looks so much more well made. (Now for the nitpicks) one of the streetlight’s lighting is a little off center and it’s missing the side bar that the other streetlights have but I just chalked that last one up to this city breaking apart every other year it’s not like the streetlights would be untouched XD (small note love Gold’s expression on this page!)

Page 4 The top row of panels works for the most part but for some reason the final one having phantom hands not being attached to a body really throws me off. Cutting off Gold’s body at the torso in panel5 was a bit of an odd choice to me I think it might’ve worked more if there was a border or if the body continued to the bottom panel. The space between the two in the bottom panel seems just a bit too far seeing how close they are on the next page. It might be because Cain is shrouded in the dark so it’s hard to determine his size but he seems to be a little too small for how close he should be for the perspective.

Page 5 A pretty solid page for the most part. The only things that I find off are the areas around the torso and the legs are a bit thin, Gold’s right hand is at a strange angle that I’m not sure is possible with the position of his arm. I found the movement lines on this page to be unnecessary as the actions are perfectly conveyed by your art on their own. Gold does kind of shrink on panel 2, but its only really noticeable because there’s a similar panel next to it.

Page 6 I like the minor touch on the second panel where the hand is digging into Gold’s shoulder a little more. I like the swiping motion of the third panel though the hair is accurate I think it would’ve conveyed Gold’s anger more if we saw at least both his eyes. Cain looks like he’s staring off in the fourth panel and not at Gold or the wound. I love the expressions you have for this one. The last panel is really good though I don’t know if I’ve ever seen your style allow for the mouth to hang off the edges of the face like that.

Page 7 The first panel is great though it has a large amount of unused space in the left that could be used for a hiss from Gold or maybe just the quiet humming of the car. I find the last two expressions to be a little muted considering what had just happened it’s hard to read how Gold feels. Gold’s position confuses me in this page because it kind of looks like he’s standing up. This page does have my favorite dialogue on it.

Page 8 I’m not sure if the car had at all moved during this talk but I was sure it hadn’t. The road they’re on looks somewhat different than the one on page three. The sidewalk is gone there’s a cliff that could have been there before but the angle didn’t show it. Gold’s pose on the last panel is fine though I think having a more dejected pose that wasn’t so close to the last one would work better for a final panel. Nitpick time there is one streetlight on the final panel that looks like it’s about to fall off the cliff.

Normally I'd have a nice comment to top this whole thing off with but that'll be in part 2 ;u;

Kozispoon
Artist
1206 comments
# 12   Posted: May 25 2021, 08:36 PM
I think your time in the last tournament has really skyrocketed your quality and general chops for color, story flow and composition. I had to doublecheck the comments and info to see that this wasn't another collaboration. It's clear your time with Badger has really influenced your work for the better. Gold is such an ass, but it's great to see that jerkiness be challenged and put to task by someone who's just done dealing with sidestepping and seeking escapism as the solution. I think this comic narratively places Gold in a realm of possibility where their next battle, next encounter, really next anything opens him up to a myriad of adventure I hope you capitalize on. What does someone who's used to avoiding and escaping do from here?

I second and third Flytee's nod toward the SFX. I think some well placed effects that arent just fonts but are drawn to match the style of your inks would've really punched up some of the action and events that played out here.

Flytee
Artist
268 comments
# 11   Posted: May 25 2021, 02:02 AM
Gold is such a mess, but oh boy does it make for some compelling reading.
The characterization here was brilliant- I think my favorite scene was when Cain reached out to Gold and he literally laughed in his face. It was so nasty but also really highlighted how removed this guy is from normal relationships.
You really successfully highlighted an emotional low point for Gold, I'm curious to see where you take it from here.
OH as for the art- expressive and atmospheric- I visually loved how you used shifting here as well.

Next time I think you should put more love into your SFX, a lot of them don't hit as well as they could have because they look like a quick afterthought- eg the Slam of the car door on the final page could have been bolder and blocky to match the sound. (Though I will say the Vrooom at the end of the comic was sucessful for me.)

Minor quibble aside, fantastic comic Cy. I eagerly await more.

Reecer6
Artist
343 comments
# 10   Posted: May 24 2021, 08:28 PM
eyyy i really liked this! a very unique and investing moment in gold's story.

alberto311
Artist
372 comments
# 9   Posted: May 24 2021, 01:16 PM
I really enjoyed this. 😊

Animeshen
Artist
1405 comments
# 8   Posted: May 22 2021, 10:53 AM
Okay I love everything about this? I love the lines, I LOVE the colours. I love the way Gold's transformations change with his expressions- the amused cat, the ferocious panther. Gold is such an absolute shit, I love seeing someone call him out on it, and how disgustingly he reacts. Dunno what to crit but I hope to see all those walls around him get chipped away more and more.

Sunrise
Artist
19 comments
# 7   Posted: May 22 2021, 08:09 AM
Absolutely loved the lighting througout and by extension I thought the colouring was nice and soft for a night scene lit up by streetlight. The characters were super expressive both facially and with their body language. Loved the whooshy claw swing with his hair flailing about too, very cool. I think the interior of the car was a bit too spacious for a car, idk, kinda hard to pinpoint just where, but I think overall it was. The onomatopoeia writing is a bit weak, I think it could be bolder and thicker for more impact. Overall really liked it, lots of character depth and exploration of Golds inner problems and deficiencies. I really like this boi, what a complete asshole, 10/10.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
295 comments
# 6   Posted: May 21 2021, 05:53 PM
You're really stepping up your game on these comics! Both characters handling their trauma differently

Footini
Artist
318 comments
# 5   Posted: May 19 2021, 06:51 AM
I wouldnt have noticed the glasses thing if you hadnt made the note about it.
If you need to explain what seems like a continuity error then show it in the comic itself.

Platinumartist
Artist
86 comments
# 4   Posted: May 18 2021, 07:50 AM
I really like the colors and that dialogue on the last page. you did really well and hopefully we see more of Gold in the near future

Pizza Man
Artist
41 comments
# 3   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 12:19 AM
Cy you know I'll be hyped for it whenever it comes out take your time ^^

TheCydork
Artist
581 comments
# 2   Posted: Feb 12 2021, 10:54 PM
Oh nooo, I was gonna cancel this and start again later since I’ve barely made a dent, but just for u I will extend it instead ;w;

Pizza Man
Artist
41 comments
# 1   Posted: Feb 12 2021, 07:50 PM
How did I miss this coming up? Now I only have a few days to get hyped for it aaaaah!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: May 25th, 2021
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 682
 

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