24 Hour Battle / Colbitzer vs. Ghost

24 Hour Battle / Colbitzer vs. Ghost

24 Hour Battle — Colbitzer vs. Ghost

by Sean

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Colbitzer48%
472 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags:


by Shen

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Ghost52%
512 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Heathen
Artist
422 comments
# 15   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 09:44 PM
Sean, I wish you'd gotten the establishing shot in here. When you've got 3 pages to work with,  I don't care about a panel where Ghost gets a knock on the door. I don't care about seeing him walk to and open the door. Give us an exterior shot to establish the location: a house boat in a marina. Show us the fleeing rabbit, and Colbitzer in pursuit. Then panel 2, BAM! Rabbit's bursting into the room. If Ghost is by the door, we'll connect the dots. Page 2, panel 1, Rabbit should be getting his throat torn out. That's a page turn reveal, large panel, give us the goods. Then you've got a whole page and a half to give Colbitzer some screen time. He had no reason to even be here, once the victim was inside, his job was done. Sit outside, have a smoke, and watch the boat rock.

Shen, I like your camera movement here, and you keep the 180 intact. What I don't like is your young Colbitzer design. He just looks like Ghost with raccoon eyes and a broken nose. He's even got the same hairstyle.  I don't think a cop has had a haircut like that since the 70s. Just look at Colbitzer. You know that dude's had the same high and tight since he was 16 years old. He's the kinda guy who calls a man with that length of hair a fairy. I like the scene, but I don't believe that's Colbitzer.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1169 comments
# 14   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 12:50 PM
SHEN- once again your spot blacks and heavy inks are the headliner here. The more you wrote for Ghost the more into the character I get. He’s just a swarmy slime you love to hate. Also this is so small a mention, but I dug the gap you made in the mesh of the patrol car for Colby’s face.  Clever move to keep things from looking too busy. It blows my mind you’re able to bust out these fully realized stories and character history in 24hrs

SEAN- Love that sepia, love these heavy inks as well. You’re really finding your comfort zone with digital work and it’s showing with how freely you’re working. Doesn’t hurt to tighten things up a bit and do a bit of clean up as I feel this is teetering between gritty and just overall busy. Still though, this is the grisly content I come to expect from Colby. I do wanna see more of HIM though beyond the stoic near silent co star. Push him to enter stage and let him speak a while

snager
Artist
79 comments
# 13   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 09:52 AM
sean: I really liked the twist, did not see it coming!
shen: loved the ending, very complete feeling

both: great spot-blacks and great use of just 3 pages to show a short conversation. these stories add a lot to your respective characters' catalogs !

Footini
Artist
152 comments
# 12   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 01:05 AM
Sean: this rough and dirty style fits Colbitzer really well.
Shen: Great way to get these two terrible men to play off of each other.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
121 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 12 2021, 10:38 PM
awesome job on the 24 hours!
Also on the mullet and rabbit killing

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
505 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 12 2021, 07:29 PM
both of these are super clean and great 24 hour comics.

Sean: the balance of heavy and light lines in this is really good and the texture you're using works very well in this.

Shen: This was a great short story, going from the 20 years to the 10 years was really nice, though wording it with dates instead of 20/10 years ago could have worked better since using 20/10 years ago implys we will see current year in this comic. Besides that small thing great comic.

William_Duel
Community Manager
939 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 10 2021, 10:41 PM
This is an excellent showing for a 24 hour battle.  I'm always shocked to see people deliver on such short deadlines.  I find it hard though to critique knowing how short the deadline is.  You've both done some really great work for a short deadline but there's obviously a lot of places where things could be improved if the deadline weren't so short?  Hm.  

Sean I think you've got a chance to really develop something here if you keep your style lose with these nice heavy inks.

Shen, your side is so clean and bright.  I do find it weird narratively to see a bounce between 20 years ago and 10 years ago but not the present.

Rivana
Artist
252 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 10 2021, 06:18 AM
Heathen: Dang, I gotta mull these over a little.
Quote

Please tell me this was a pun XDDD. And agreed both battles are very enjoyable. I am gonna join Heathen in the mullet chamber for now XD

Heathen
Artist
422 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 10 2021, 04:25 AM
Dang, I gotta mull these over a little, these are both great.

TheCydork
Artist
399 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 9 2021, 06:42 PM
Great 24 hour showings, really cool to see both of you take the idea of Colbitzer and Ghost knowing each other, but from different angles.

Sean - This was grim. I knew that rabbit was dead meat the minute he stepped in :( The rough, gritty inks suit both characters well, but it felt claustrophobic at times in a way that didn’t feel intentional. I think because a lot of the panels lacked borders and the black is scribbled on quite close to the figures?

Shen - Ahh I loved the storytelling here! It was just super satisfying to see Ghost being a smug bastard and then again cyially being RIGHT 10 years later. The lines and spotblacls were also very clean for a 24 hour!

Sean
Approval Committee
372 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 9 2021, 12:55 PM
MULLET

TheCydork
Artist
399 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 06:39 PM
SAVAGE EACH OTHER

Footini
Artist
152 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 04:48 PM
Shen gonna kill Sean in her second comic this week

#Unluckies
as seen on webtoons.

Shen
Artist
1337 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 04:45 PM
you better not be lying sean

Sean
Approval Committee
372 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 02:12 PM
This is just gonna be a smutty yaoi battle

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 16th, 2021
Votes Cast: 24
Page Views: 325
Winner: Shen
 

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