Election Royale 2021 / The Smile vs. Naialah vs. Casino Reasoning vs. Ancelin vs. Akira Matzugi vs. Egg Dealer

Election Royale 2021 / The Smile vs. Naialah vs. Casino Reasoning vs. Ancelin vs. Akira Matzugi vs. Egg Dealer

Election Royale 2021 — The Smile vs. Naialah vs. Casino Reasoning vs. Ancelin vs. Akira Matzugi vs. Egg Dealer

by Heathen

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for The Smile12.5%
618 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: impeached, no regrets, Regrets


by Don

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Naialah18.9%
937 points
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Crit level: No preference


This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Casino Reasoning15.7%
779 points
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Crit level: No preference


by Bobo

This comic has been rated adults only by its creator(s)

Icon for Ancelin20%
989 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags:


by Hellis

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Akira Matzugi15.7%
778 points
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Crit level: No preference


This comic has been rated adults only by its creator(s)

Icon for Egg Dealer17.2%
852 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags:




Critiques & Comments
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Hellis
Artist
271 comments
# 51   Posted: Mar 4 2021, 12:23 AM
@flytee:

I literally made the most of the comic in the final 5 days, so rushed is a understatement. Its why I commented on not wanting art crits. I am well aware it doesnt look great. Glad ou enjoyed Akira.

Flytee
Artist
213 comments
# 50   Posted: Feb 25 2021, 12:30 PM
I love how strange and meta a lot of these comics got- it certainly made for a memorable event. I found something to enjoy in all of these, so thank you for the stories guys! I'm a bit late to the party but I'll stick some thoughts down here anyway.

Heathen-
Even in an unfinished comic, your technical skill shines through, I also liked the pulpy-action vibe the story had. However, unfortunately in its current state, this comic didn't leave much of an impression on me compared to the others, but there's certainly a lot of potential, I hope you finish it one day!

Don-
This was impressive and clearly a labour of love- I can tell you put a lot of thought into this story, it particularly shows in how you chose to weave the other characters into your narrative, it felt true to them, but also worked seamlessly in NaeNae's AU. Special shout out to Eggdealers and the Smiles roles in this story.
Your art was excellent as well- the quality was high through-out but I could see you reserving your FULL POWER, for particularly impactful panels- it felt like you used your time well art-wise.
In terms of the overall plot, I adored the concept and the ideas being shown here but it did feel a bit muddled and clunky in places, there were a lot of moving parts & you mostly made it work, but I'd be lying if I said I found it super easy to follow. I enjoyed it MUCH more during my second read through.

Fred- Well, I laughed multiple times, so nice job!

Bobo- ALL HAIL OUR QUEEN! This was a wonderful comic. Firstly, the art was very cute and pleasant to look at, I loved the tonal shading and how you changed up the primary colour for each chapter. Not only did it give them a distinct look but it also made the events and change of perspective instantly clear. Choices like this and the title cards helped stop this big cast from feeling overwhelming. I liked how you gave everyone their time to shine, I think you utilized your cast very well.
The story was fun and tightly told, but it was the ending that made this my favourite of the batch! That was so unexpected & perfectly done.

Hellis- Maybe I'm not the target market for this one, as someone who knows nothing about "Old Void Lore" that being said, based on past crits your intentions to create something nostalgic clearly succeded. So nice job there! Easter eggs and whatnot aside, this was a fairly entertaining read, I do enjoy Akira as a character, I liked how brutal he was towards the end & I think out of all the comics, I was most curious and where Akira's leadership would take the city.
Art wise, It felt rushed compared to your other comics, which was a shame. I think you should've ditched colour & given yourself more time to give those lines some extra love.

Boogi- Very much what I've come to expect from you, completely wild... I appreciate the hard work you put into your comics, they're always memorable and get a laugh out of me. I enjoyed those ending animations as well.

Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 49   Posted: Feb 25 2021, 10:47 AM
Thanks so much for everyone's kind words and crits! I'm glad that people enjoyed these comics so much; I know I thoroughly enjoyed battling everyone, and was so happy with how all of their comics turned out! Heathen, I hope we get the full story someday, although I'm also excited to see what future plans you have going.

I mentioned this privately, but I want to just say again publicly that I would love to collab with each and every one of you! This was such a great group and I'm honored to have been a part of this. <3

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1182 comments
# 48   Posted: Feb 24 2021, 08:44 PM
DON- What an epic. What a showing and what a staggering number of pages. You could tell just by the efforts put here this was a passion project. Not even for the election itself, but really for your characters journey. I think the physical manifestation of the Naenae we knew to the Naialah we have to contend with now leaves me shaking in my boots. What's this mean for her and Eli? Heck, was this even the plan? What will Eli have to say and how will this affect their partnership? Questions definitely spurred on by the BB you submitted prior (which was a clever move by the by). Questions I hope you pursue and answer. This was too good a set up not to see come to fiery culmination.

FRED- I am rooting for the folding chair

HELLA- You sang my song and gave me old Void lore. It was great to see a 'new' character tap into that old world vampire and excavate the furthest reaches of the city itself to find a clever means to turn an election on its head and remind us just how small everyone was truly thinking. The thing I admire about you and your efforts tourney to tourney and just comicking in general is that you always swing for the fences. I hope more voiders play by example and find themselves unafraid of the risks like you have.


Great election, squad. What a load of insane characters. XD

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1182 comments
# 47   Posted: Feb 24 2021, 08:36 PM
BOOGIDI- It was great to have you on the junkcast and give us context behind the madness that was this comic. I think you did your opponents justice and even managed to infuse your own brand of humor (I'm busy looking out this window still makes me snort). I'm surprised you found that you didn't go 'crazy' enough because this was a ride. Your stream of consciousness method of doing comics definitely matches your devil may care style. You even went the extra mile and gave us animations?? You're a madlad. The maddest egg I ever did see.

HEATHEN- I think having you add context behind your work process and methods was super informative and made me appreciate the seeds that were planted here. It's nuts how a proper script can make or break an artist and their efforts, but even in this, there were valuable lessons to be learned FOR the reader.

BOBO- Hands down my favorite comic of the lot, and I've made no secret of it. It feels like a call to elections past, but with this newfound twist of viciousness Heathen so kindly introduced us all to. I am still floored by the entire Akira Chapter. The color choices, Akira's design and his stripped bare 'true self' on display as Ancelin emerges from the depths is an image that was so striking. I find myself dazzled and unsure over your ending because I wanted to see more of these hiemie tools and more of Smiles 'fate', but considering the ridiculousness of Hiemie themselves, perhaps this is exactly on the nose as to what would go down.

A fantastic showing from all of you. Have a good rest, you earned it.

Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 46   Posted: Feb 24 2021, 08:30 AM
@ Fearn: Yeah, it’s a bit like a film crew walking out of dailies and being asked, “so what was the movie about?”.

Fearn
Artist
354 comments
# 45   Posted: Feb 23 2021, 06:21 AM
H E A T H E N — you can draw anatomically correct stuff and good cars, but tbh day after reading your comic I have zero memory of what happened in it. Maybe work on the story stuff to make it a bit more interesting/memorable.

D O N — Great style and consistency, and great that you managed to finish that beast, but I would question the choice to make it as long as it was. I don't think this was necessary. I also think the almost black pages, while look good in print, in a webcomic type situation add 10 rather than 5 seconds to the page loading time... Which is a slog when the comic is 50-odd pages. What you accomplished is amazing though! But to me quality/entertainment trumps the length.

F R E D — as per usual, you bring me joy with your creative choices.

B O B O — Well you kicked ass! I am going to attribute your success to my amazing pep talk skills ;) But on a serious note, breaking the 4th wall made me intensely happy.

H E L L I S — It was allright! Good effort! The main thing that stood out is the callbacks to the olden days, made me a bit nostalgic.

B O O G I D I B Z D O — This was my second fave in the lot. It was absolutely bananas and I love weird shit and people who can play by their own rules. So if you think yours wasn't weird enough, I want to know what you think would be? The last few pages were... So good too.

You can all pat yourselves on the back! You welcome ;)

BoogidiBzdo
Artist
61 comments
# 44   Posted: Feb 20 2021, 09:05 AM
Everyone did a great job here!

Immediately after reading everyone else’s it dawned on me: I didn’t make mine’s weird enough, it came out ‘relatively’ normal.
I did have a lot of fun with this though, and it was a valuable learning eggsperience.

Thank you everyone. Thank you fellow artists and thank you readers.

I am grateful to have been in this event.
:):):)):)

Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 43   Posted: Feb 16 2021, 11:11 PM
Can you please teach me your work ethic and how to keep an immaculate white carpet while living with pets?
Quote from: ShouldaCouldaCola
Honestly the "work ethic" was mostly just putting a lot of pressure on myself by building up Ancelin's run to become Queen of Void for the past several months. It's the longest sprint to the finish I've ever done, and honestly I still don't know how I managed all of this. As for the carpet, the secret is to only take pictures of the one corner the dogs missed. I have a disabled dog who didn't have diapers yet when we moved in so let's just say it wasn't easy haha.

Thank you for your kind words!

Footini
Artist
197 comments
# 42   Posted: Feb 16 2021, 09:23 PM
What they said but hotter.

ShouldaCouldaCola
Artist
49 comments
# 41   Posted: Feb 16 2021, 09:15 PM
No critique, just very saccharine commentary because y’all put some monumental effort into these entries. Also possible spoilers below for anyone foolish enough to read comments before entries.

I don't feel caught up on Void history and backstories enough, so it took a few re-readings to fully comprehend some of the entries.
Nonetheless, what a visual feast, delicious and egg-flavored!

H E A T H E N — Despite being unfinished, stylistically, I felt drawn to your comic the most. You’re a true draftsman! Can’t wait to see a more polished entry from you :)

D O N — Yooo, Naialah is such a sick character! Quality and quantity. Ugh, I bet if you had enough time, you’d color this whole thing, and I’ve seen what you can do with color you goddamn magician. Your action sequences really shined for me in this entry, especially combined with the stark shading and effects.

F R E D — You scored highest in entertainment for me, but I also feel like your comic was the most accessible to someone who doesn’t know a lot of backstory. The witty banter! The sensual egg licking! That last page made me laugh the most. Super impressed with how versatile you are with the visuals.

B O B O — Hey there! Wow, 38 pages with six character in 5 weeks, polished and in color. Not only that, I was engaged the whole time.  Can you please teach me your work ethic and how to keep an immaculate white carpet while living with pets? That ending thoughhh, it had me amused, it had me pontificating— gotta break down those panel box barriers to experience true spiritual liberation!

H E L L I S — It’s cool that you immediately transported me into the gritty urban underbelly without resorting to a wide city/establishing shot. The comic started off at a sprint, and it didn’t feel like the pace ever slowed down. Every piece of dialogue seemed to up the ante, add more drama to the one before— sometimes humorously so, whether or not that was intentioned. Santa Claus ain’t got nothing on Warsaw Clause.

B O O G I DI B Z D O — I admit, I feared what I could not comprehend. Partially, this bias was created because your entry was tonally way different than everyone else’s. But after reading the whole thing, I was pleasantly surprised at how funny and self-aware the story was. Your style is so visceral and one-of-a-kind. That uniqueness has Egg Dealer vying for the spot of Void best-girl.


Thank you for your hard work everyone!

Don
Global Moderator
167 comments
# 40   Posted: Feb 16 2021, 04:04 PM
i aint got nothing to say in regards as crits for my fellow opponents cuz i think it was all lovely and i enjoy reading them all (tysm for the crits as well, yall!)
everyone sleep

snager
Artist
94 comments
# 39   Posted: Feb 16 2021, 09:40 AM
new review: why can't y'all be more like boogidi?

Heavenbat
Artist
168 comments
# 38   Posted: Feb 14 2021, 06:01 AM
Heathen: Honestly, I was... really disappointed in this turnout. I thought you had such a clear, beautiful setup to an election comic from the Skyfall collab that I was really looking forward to seeing how those plot points would be advanced and utilized, but instead you veered off into this... post apocalyptic Mad Max-esque storyline that only further veered off as the comic went on. I do suppose there is no real obligation to tell a cohesive storyline but in hindsight it almost makes the events of Skyfall feel lesser because they didn't ultimately lead up into anything. Judging from your comments here and from tidbits I've picked up elsewhere, it sounds like you maybe tried too hard to do something Unexpected, and in so doing overcomplicated things. Sometimes, the best answer is the simplest one. Art-wise, honestly, I don't think this is really finished enough to crit; there's some good foundations laid out, but that's about it. I did like the design of the egg carton transports, though! Hopefully we do get to see this finished!

Don: Man nI have super mixed feelings about this. The parts you did well, you *really* did well--your depiction of Egg Dealer was eggcellent--both the initial depiction of him in his fantasy realm, and the later depiction of his monstrous form. And you did an Excellent job at conveying atmosphere in the mall--even though there are hardly any moments where Naialah is truly alone, there's such this keen feeling of loneliness throughout the mall sequence. I wish we had been given more panels of the huge sprawling empty expanse to really drive that feeling home--that this is essentially just a very small handful of people in a massive building. I also like how you depict Naialah's psychic 'sight' and the lil spiderwebs were a fun touch to symbolize Akira's mind control.

On the other hand I gotta agree with Cy, that I think you could have used a bit more trimming down story-wise. This was a really ambitious story, especially reading the entire script, but I think a thing you could work on in the future is to try to make stories as streamlined as possible; this sort of meandering (not in a bad way!) story would be fine, I think, if it wasn't on a deadline and you could take your time to really hit all the beats you wanted. But on a deadline, I think it may have been better to go with a more concise story... which is easier said than done when juggling 6+ characters, I know! But like--for example, even though I fuckin loved Elijah's line about "whythefuck are they all eggs", I think you could have cut that scene out and merged it with another scene, maybe trimmed the conversation down a bit? I also admittedly am still not sure why they had to kill Egg Dealer, or even why they wanted to? Other than I guess maybe Elijah wanting all metas dead?

As a last little note, I'll just say that I can see a lot of KSBD influence in this comic, which I think is rad and is a fun angle to take with Void comics!! Lookin forward to seeing where if anywhere Naialah goes from here!

Fred: Honestly, I think this comic would have been stronger had it been just the first page, and maybe done in a different style. I admire the attempt at a different/unique style, and I think it would've worked for just a panel or two, but for an entire page to be done in this style was a little eye-strainy. I think it's because of the odd borders between colors. Kind of reminds me of that one "How about I do anyway" meme from the History of the World video, lol. Like--honestly, the colors themselves don't bother me and I think the style would have worked out perfectly fine if it hadn't had the almost iridescent bevel on some parts of it.  The second page/vignette was definitely funny and got a good chuckle out of me but I'm not sure it really added anything; same with the final page. I do appreciate a set of vignettes, but I think your first page was strong enough that not just ending on Anvil beating the shit out of Smile kind of took away from it! Also personally I really wish you would've left the sequence of mosaic'd photos out, they didn't feel like they contributed anything, not even in a humorous way. idkkkk. Glad you had fun with it tho! and again, really loved the ending of that first page. And all of Akira's lines XD

Bobo: Echoing what everyone else has said, I think yours is my favorite of the comics! It felt like such a perfect culmination of TTT, while also addressing some of the plot points of Skyfall, and I loved how Ancelin dealt with all the 'opponents' by facing them and then ultimately recruiting them. Your use of monotone was v nice as well--the colors were well-chosen to reflect the mood, especially in the Akira sequence with everything turning golden when Ancelin breaks through. It was such an anime sequence and I *loved it*. Personally I didn't have any difficulty following the logic of the hammer--though admittedly my knowledge of Hiemie is fuzzy so I just took the hammer that bonked Smile out of Comic space and into Meatspace at face value, lol. Loved the bits with Smile trying to get back into the comic! I think my only crit is that I wish we would have gotten to see what the other teams were up to and what they accomplished--and how that tied into the overall plan--rather than being told of them afterwards.

Hella: I think your comic was my second favorite, tbh. I did not see that twist at the end coming, but man it feels like I should have. I loved the fight sequence between Smile and Egg Dealer, it was so satisfying on a level I didn't know I needed, lol. Also I gotta commend you for the way you tied in that Deep Void Lore--you did it in a way that made it like an easter egg, so the story was imo still understandable even for people like me who didn't know that Deep Lore! That's not an easy task! And knowing the secrets behind it make it even better, lol. What a clever nod to one of the OG creators of Void. Loved some of the imagery you used, especially Akira's symbol, and boy howdy that ending makes me suddenly very afraid of having Akira as mayor lmao. I will agree that some of Naialah's explanation feels a little too info dump-y, but it didn't stand out to me too badly so it didn't detract too much imo. Also, I gotta say, you kept saying your comic was one big shitpost, so that's what I was expecting going into this, and was very pleasantly surprised! It wasn't shitposty at all imo.

and, finally,
Boogi: Man honestly I never quite know what to say about your comics XD They're always so off the wall. The art style you use is admittedly not my favorite, but I'm always surprised at how well you adapt other characters to it. The story though was... surprisingly straightforward. I was expecting something truly strange from you and instead got--a pretty straightforward and at times funny comic. So good job with that XDD The ending was a lil abrupt, though--it felt like there was all this buildup and then it just kind of trailed off without a real conclusion, and then went into an End Credits scene.

PHEW that was a lot but I'll just say, once again: Seriously good job everyone. I had no idea what to expect from this cast of characters, and the fact that none of you defaulted is an accomplishment. Y'all deserve some rest.

Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 37   Posted: Feb 14 2021, 01:28 AM
@Don It was a little hard to get into your comic the first handful of pages, but once it gets rolling, the pages turned at a nice brisk clip. And reading the beginning again after knowing where it’s going, it’s an easier read than the first time. I think of everyone, you did the best job of incorporating the whole cast in a way that feels pretty natural and relevant to the plot. Its slow burn atmosphere is really cool. The stylish compositions and use of color towards the end make those scenes stand out, and I really love how you incorporated the Smile. I think you bit off a hell of a lot, and it came out more chewed than not. Good stuff.

@Hellis My very first impression of your comic was being impressed by the extreme angles on the first page, particularly where Ancelin jumps from the bridge. I also really like your big, bold, blocky sfx. I appreciate your experiments with a more painterly style in some parts, but I still mostly enjoy your more cel shaded approach, and the texture you give it. The one thing that still stands out in your work as needing improvement is your framing. You still pick a lot of shots that crop or poorly frame important focal points in a panel. Hands and faces are always major focal points when a character is emoting, and for example, you have a panel where Colbitzer is talking and pointing to something, and you’ve got his back to us and his face cropped off the panel to focus on his arm brace. You also have way too much space in many establishing shots, like when Naialah is standing in Toast’s bar. You could choose an angle and compose that shot much more efficiently to create a greater sense of depth, focus the eye on the important information in the panel, and probably even make the panel smaller.
I really like your approach of just having characters fight. It’s a no-frills premise that gives everyone a good amount of screen time. Some of the Akira stuff got a little convoluted, but I enjoyed the straightforward scenes between Buster, Smile, and Egg Dealer. Obviously I’m biased, but I do think these parts work the best here, because they’re unpretentious. The Smile wants what Buster has, Egg Dealer pops out, we get a great fight where the Smile gets a little fucked up (I’m always a sucker for a ripped mask), and then Akira shows up and dominates them both. Call me old school, but I dug it.

@Fred I had a certain expectation from you just based on last Election, and you met it. This comic had me rolling, and I really respect that you had several different ideas, and instead of trying to work them all into a cohesive plot and overthinking it, you just executed all of them as separate vignettes. All hilarious.

@Boogidi Your comic also had me laughing a lot. I love just how fucking Lynchian this thing is, even down to the black and white presentation. Everyone making a pilgrimage to look upon the inexplicable wonder of the Egg Dealer and falling in love with him is just so bizarre and dreamlike, and perfect. Again, biased, but I love what you did with the Smile as well. I got a big kick out of his absurd personality and laughed really hard at “I’m busy looking out this window”. I love the .gif endings for each character, too. Very nice touch, and some loving tributes. Thank you!

@Bobo I liked your comic the best. I think, as others have said, it feels the most complete, and like you really stuck the landing. Your anatomy and overall art quality have improved drastically, and this comic just looks fantastic. I’ve always enjoyed your stuff, but this comic made me go “holy shit, Jade’s one of the heavies on this site now!” My only real nitpick with this comic is that not everyone had a part to play in the plot. Egg Dealer and Akira didn’t seem to have a role in the mutiny. Their scenes seemed to only serve to show Ancelin’s qualities as a leader, but that’s kind of okay. Egg Dealer’s design is so much fun, and Akira’s scene is so beautifully and imaginatively depicted, you did them both total justice anyway.

For all his talk, all his calls for violence and chaos, the Smile (much like his creator) ultimately went down without much of a fight. He whipped the city into a frenzy, and then just sat in his office, smoking cigars, and figuring he’d just kill anyone who tried to fuck with him directly. He underestimated his opponents out of sheer narcissistic hubris. Jade, I think you said you had wanted to do more with his fight with Ancelin, but I think its brutal brevity is what makes it great. That’s just exactly how that fight would go, it didn’t need to be bombastic or melodramatic. An unceremonious end to an unceremonious man.

And then you knocked him out of the comic.

This ending speaks to me on a much more personal level than maybe you intended it to. Maybe it was just too late at night and my sleep deprived brain spun it some kinda way; I’ll have to read it again and see; but it made me feel things.

I think people are being pretty generous with my comic. I appreciate all the comments, but I feel like I did not do you guys justice. My objective with every battle is to make my opponent’s characters look good, and I just shit the bed this time. I just want to say, Fred, Hellis, Don, Boogidi, Jade; your comics humble and inspire me.

Good fucking show.

Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 36   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 11:58 PM
@Arts Thanks for the feedback, I totally feel you. Just the kind of critique I’m looking for. Will keep this in mind as I continue to work on this and future comics. And you’re right, I am very slow to reach out for help. I did have some pretty extensive brainstorming sessions with a few people in VC, but not until I had struggled in silence for too long and had a million different ideas that weren’t geling, and those discussions made me question my premise as much as they solidified it, and I ultimately didn’t even use the ideas I had shared. I think I just get way too caught up in trying to formulate a coherent plot that incorporates every character in a really interesting way, and I try to do some high concept shit when simplicity would be the better route. If this Royale has made me realize one thing, it’s that I have a VERY hard time getting out of my own head.

@Footini Also appreciated, it’s good to know people actually want to see this comic, so I’ll definitely finish it.

Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 35   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 11:39 PM
@Don You and three others took exception to Snager’s comments, the other three actually seeming to try and shame them for them. You’re right, nothing wrong with responding to comments, but when all someone brings to the conversation is “your opinion is bad” it only serves to discourage lively discussion and sharing of opinions.

Footini
Artist
197 comments
# 34   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 09:31 PM
I love democracy, gets the blood flowing.
I'll focus the crits on the aspects of the comics that the participants mentioned in the comments below.  Since going over the same points they're aware of would just be redundant.  However, i'll still give the comics the scores of what I think is fair based on the end results of the comics themselves.

Heathen-  You definitely had the start to something interesting here.  You got the vibe of a 70s action B movie that's part gritty and fun.  While unfinished I do like what's there.  The more finished pages have cool compositions and some pretty good style going on.  Even with a partial story you still were able to have fun with the comedic dialogue that still was entertaining at the end of the day.  I look forward to the finished comic when it drops.
Long Live Void City.

Don-  Your artstyle is one I'm so here for.  If your art called me at 3am to drive across town to pick it up at the bar in the bad part of town I still would cause thats how here I am for it.
You clearly had a dang Vision with this comic and it's one of your more ambitious ones yet.  NaeNae is already one of your best characters.  Now I do think that this could have been cut down by like maybe 10 or so pages cause parts of it, mostly the beginning, do feel like they go on for longer than needed.  I think the buildup to Akira's mind control was a little to slow is all.  
And there was some aspects of the story that needed a few reads to really pick up on, namely the mind control and the subsequent infection of NaeNae's mind from Smile.  Pacing and clarity is one aspect of your storytelling that I feel you have the most room to grow.  Same could be said for your visual language with your art.  Paneling and composition in places were a little to muddled for me the first few reads the biggest being the Smile's posession.  NaeNae just putting on the mask in a panel the same size as other panels facing away from us is a moment that could have used more emphasis given it's importance.  
Still the artwork here is still good.  You've shown that you can work at a certain speed from your use of shorthand to draw bodies and backgrounds with just the right amount of information to get the point across.  
However this election pans out I'm excited to see how you tell NaeNae's story onward now that she's a giant click clackin smiley avatar of violence.  
Excellent work.

Fred- Short, concise, and was as long as it needed to be.  I do dig the experimental art styles and the shifts throughout that show a range of skills not just from this comic but many others.  Truly you're one of the more unpredictable and creative minds on the site.  You did give me some of my favorite one liners that i'm just going to keep saying from now on forever now so thank you for that.
Also bruh Buster, don't be getting egg yolk on the hospital bed like that.  that's nasty.

Jade-  All hail the Queen of Void City.
Like Don, it's clear you had a gaddang VISION with this comic.  Spending a whole tournament arc to set up for this one is a job well done.  You had some of the more creative adaptations of the characters here what with teenage NaeNae, the nightmare that will live in my brain rent free known as Egg Dealer, and even Shirtless Smile.  
Your story was solid and gave everyone and then some equally impactful roles. (Makes me want to be friends with Ancelin now.  I could make an eyepatch work.)
The only crit with story here is the Heime Hammer.  Since while it was technically alluded to it was still kind of out of left field that Ancelin pulled a fourth wall breaking hammer out of her hat like that.
I hope you gave your dog all the treats and pets since that last half of your comic was off the wall creative.  Literally,  it went off the wall and onto the carpet.  

*takes a sip of water.  Final third baby*


Hella-  Hey Akira thinks Saal's cute!
While likely the most straightforward story of the bunch you still managed to pull some wild turns out of the olde void lore here.
You actually got one of the more interesting endings here that would be a great shakeup should Akira come out on top.
If there was a crit as far as writing and it's not even a negative really is that you do reference some *old* void lore from comics that few would know about unless they really read up.  But since half of us are void nerds here  you know how to play to your audience and i'm sure it got a few of the readers here to Smile.
Also Saal's going to have to charge extra for using that potion that stuff's expensive.

*eats entire egg for final stretch*

Boogidibizdo-  Egg Dealer really became the fan favorite here.  Everyone went hard with their depictions from surreal to terrifying to literal EGG.  I was surprised to see yours was fairly tame compared to the rest, especially from the Egg themself.  Not a bad thing in fact yours was pretty fun.  Your story was straight up fun entertainment that kept it high energy all the way.  And those animations at the end was a nice nod to Animal House (Gods I'm old).  Does anyone even remember Animal House?
For your art you really got a style that is yours and yours alone and you should keep it trucking hard.  I would work on some of your shading though.  Much of it becomes jaggedy lines that don't really show much form to the thing they're shading.  Work on paying care to the shape of the object your shading to really make that art pop.  I do like the way you draw people.  Your Stylized anatomy while pretty out there is still intersting to look at and clear enough to know what egg filled fold goes where.
Now I will enjoy a nice egg in this trying time.


Good job everyone here.  You all went hard to bring us voiders some rad comics.
Now on to the next comic.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
529 comments
# 33   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 09:12 PM
This was a fantastic election royal and how you all went about it was crazy cool.

Heathen: Since you don't want us to go easy on you I won't. Having an unfinished comic because it took you too long to settle on a plot is a poor excuse. You're in a community filled with comic artists and writers, you should have enough people you trust to hash out your plot with. I don't know how many people you asked about the plot and how in depth conversations about the plot were with them, but it's clear you didn't do that enough and should have done it more and done it sooner in the deadline. There should also be a point when you're on a deadline (for a five week battle I would say the end of the first week) where even if you don't like the plot you have, you just work with what you have even if you aren't fully satisfied with it.
It will give you something more to work as you begin sketches and storyboards. Ofcourse before you get to that time you should go to anyone you remotely trust and ask them for help on figuring out the plot if you're still stuck.

Artwise the inking looks better without the colors (Page 3 panel 5 is my favorite of this style).  The inks are messy and gritty so those clean digital colors and gradients become distracting and too separated from the inks. When you color with this style I think you should try using a water color brush with these inks (also use much more muted colors), that way you can get a more natural feeling with variation and a bit of mess to match the inks. (edit: this was done before you made the comment about it mostly being just the thumbs blown up, but it still is a cool style i think you could do a comic in with a different type of coloring.)

Don: The amount of work you can do in this time is inspiring, really great to see how much someone can do in a certain time limit if they are able to focus and go all out on it. At the same time you have mentioned losing sleep cause of it and I do sincerely worry about your health. That shit adds up and you're still young, you should not be doing such massive stuff for void that you need lose sleep for it and still end up not having enough time to complete it all fully. We all know you can do amazing stuff and I want to see you do more stuff, but I hope you can find a healthier work balance and not always try to push yourself so hard to the point of losing sleep for the comic. No amount of comic pages is worth that. and any amount of Don content is great. Cy made some good technical crits for this comic.

Fred: simple but funny, don't really like the word bubbles on page one though.

Jade: This is the best work i have seen from you and you went all out on this. I love everything about this and how meta you get with it. I only have one minor crit and that's with the final speech when they say "AU" instead of "Alternate Universe" it kind of takes me a bit out of the speech, but that's just a nitpick of wording. Fantastic job with this comic.

Hellis: I really like this comic, I enjoyed the references you had to old void in it and even though I didn't know all of them it didn't seem like too much a determent to my enjoyment of this comic. There seem to be two styles you use in this comic and I prefer the one with the painted colored lines. The one with the black lineart feels a little more stiff and there are a lot of tiny parts where the flat colors are missing, like bits of hair incorrectly colored, and they all add up and become a bit distracting.
Still this is some of the strongest work I have seen from you.

Boogidi: I love seeing your insanity and unapologetic weirdness. Your lineweight seems to have improved since the last comic and has more intentionality to what is thicker lines and whats thinner as well as it being clearer what's going on artwise. The animations were also really nice at the end though I think a couple of them, like buster flipping the coin, ended a bit too abruptly and soon and could have used a couple more frames or a better ending spot. Still great job with this and interested to see what you would plan to do for future animation stuff.

Don
Global Moderator
167 comments
# 32   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 09:10 PM
Heathen: I’m seeing a lot of defensiveness from both the subjects of Snager’s comments and people who had nothing to do with this battle. It’s one thing to disagree with an opinion, it’s quite another to tell someone they shouldn’t have one. Get over it.

Why don’t you critique the comics instead of the comments?
Quote

Imo, no one has specifically said that Snager isn't allowed to have an opinion. If someone did, in those specific words, feel free to requote it and I can retract this statement. And if this is a comment forum, just as much as the artists of the comics are allowed to respond/reply to the critiques given— Others are free to make these statements too. That's how discussion works, you make a public opinion, others will give their opinions as well. It's fair on public grounds.

I can certainly agree with your question, but also— Considering the sentiment that was made some time ago about better making these comment forums a locale for discussion as well, your dissent against when commentary is made in this form is surprising.

Pizza Man
Artist
30 comments
# 31   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 08:58 PM
I sure hope all of you are making crits right now because if you don't like the ones in the comments you should make ones that you do like. Bring the positivity you want! Yeehaw!

Don't look at me I don't have any crits either just comments ;u;

Heathen: I don't normally make demands but you must finish this! It promises Ancelin with a gun I must have this even if I have to draw it myself!

Don: You put a lot of effort into this and it shows it's a shame it couldn't be finished in time but I think what you have is pretty neat. I've noticed you've been getting pretty experimental and I can dig.

Fred: I like the style of page 1. Page 2 unsettles me. Page 3-wait there were more questions on the back of the test?! *flips paper*

Bobo: I don't have my full feelings on this comic yet but I do like it.

Hellis: I noticed your angles the most out of everybody keep it up!

Boogie: I liked this way more than I thought I would. I've grown an intriguing fondness to the way you draw faces.

Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 30   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 08:34 PM
I’m seeing a lot of defensiveness from both the subjects of Snager’s comments and people who had nothing to do with this battle. It’s one thing to disagree with an opinion, it’s quite another to tell someone they shouldn’t have one. Get over it.

Why don’t you critique the comics instead of the comments?

RanZombie
Artist
14 comments
# 29   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 07:40 PM
To echo a sentence from your own comment:
"This was all a ton of energy you expended and the end result is a lengthy critique that felt undesirable and unfortunate."

Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 28   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 06:26 PM
Great impressions, Snager! Sorry I burst your bubble, I’ll try to maintain better kayfabe in the future lol. Spot on with your impressions of my comic, I agree. I actually only cameo’d Colbitzer and Ghost because I couldn’t figure out how to have the smile hijack 3 transport vehicles at once by himself, and I had other parts already written for the primary cast. In fact, their whole inclusion was an afterthought to try and plug a plot hole, and I just happened to devote more time to those pages so they ended up stealing the show a bit, I regret.

Cy, just wanted to mention, I also fully agree with your comments on the look of the pages, and the reason it looks like something was lost between the pencilled pages and the “inks” is actually because, aside from the two traditionally penciled pages, everything else was actually just my thumbnails! I changed the lines to black and blew them up to full size, which is why the lines are so damn thick and the pages may feel cramped. I still love those two shots of Ancelin, though.

Sean
Approval Committee
375 comments
# 27   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 05:44 PM
Overly opinionated comments/bad takes make for really poor critiques. Just putting that out there.

FrankenToon
Artist
7 comments
# 26   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 05:18 PM
"this may be more a problem with the character design trends of the site, but that's a debate I don't want to touch." -Snager

I planned on making a proper comment later- but I just wanted to touch on this. You just insulted not one but three artists in one go. Thats not a debate its just straight up unnecessary. What gives you the right to insult an artists designs and then ignore how another artist clearly put effort in to differentiate them in their style?? Im also baffled on how you could confuse them, theyre nothing alike in both appearances and personality.

This is similar to your last comment from Armageddon with the complaints of there being "too ( only 2 ) many cis white men", and this was immediately treated with backlash ( that you apologized for mind you ). Now apparently its "too many feminine characters" even if they look completely different. Learn from your mistakes and stop attacking the artists behind characters.

Don
Global Moderator
167 comments
# 25   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 05:09 PM
might just fuck around and draw everyone the same now *_* thats right, everyones got same face. be prepared bitches theres no going back

> This was all a ton of energy you all expended and the end result is several comics that feel unfinished or uninspired.

aw dude its so great to know all of our comics are jack shit in the end by your words, totes, opening that third eye there buddy

snager
Artist
94 comments
# 24   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 03:08 PM
I think almost all competitors have been over-producing this whole year: other than Don and Hellis, I'm pretty sure I saw each of you partake in at least one other event in the past few months? with the current events in the real world, AND the work load you've all given yourselves, one or two of you were bound to crack. All of your stories are undercut with the 2020 vibe, I feel. I think we could all learn to pace ourselves better, esp. after I've scanned some of the comments below. I'm not going to read through those all just yet, because I want my own opinions to be unfiltered and un guided, so i’m sorry if anything is something that’s been over-stated or if I strike a nerve- I want to say I respect you all and even getting to run for Mayor is an honor that will forever put you on the Sempai Pedestal for me. Also, I'm just going to mix all the reviews together, because I'm taking this royale as a singular collection work for a few reasons I'll mention later.

The first comic I read was my buddy Heathen's; he usually puts a lot of effort into making his work polished and uniform and gives his short stories a succinct theme and a unilateral goal. so when I saw him go through at least 6 WIP styles, my immediate reaction was to bask in the glow of an artist who said 'fuck it, I do what I want!' the culmination being the final page of hand-written notes outlining things Heathen wanted to maybe have happen. The second one I hit was Fred's, which heightened my glee that this election royal was going to be straight shitposts, sticking it to the status quo. But when I praised Heathen for his direction on discord, I was surprised and saddened to learn that none of this had been the final vision. He wanted to know what 'did and didn't work' with the story.

I was much happier when the 'intent of the artist' was unknown to me, so I will rate Heathen's comic based on my first impression. I think it could have benefited from sticking to just the pencils on paper, which I saw more of during streams in the discord. Even when I thought the irreverence was intentional, I still like to see nice, completed art, and we all noticed during the stream that Heathen was going over pencils or inks that were perfectly passable. A lot of the panels that were meant to have dialog don't really need them for us to know what's going on. I think in this comic's case, a willingness to cut out the fat and stick to something basic might have done better. Comparing it to Fred's, for example: Fred chose to separate the different art styles by chapter breaks, which makes the reading flow more naturally. That all being said, even the second-pass digital inks are still recognizable and I like the drawing of Ghost and Colbizter. But also, maybe they shouldn't be in the story, since other characters who ARE running for mayor were much more glossed over.

Don:
i like the post apocalyptic setting , and how mainly only the people running for mayor are still alive in this world, except The Smile, who seems to have perished in the death of the city. Not sure, but have you made it canon that Naenae is a disciple of The Other Guy? you've created a version of egg dealer that better fits with the level of fear and disgust I experience every time i look at him, which, while comforting to know I’m not alone, is no less traumatizing to behold. the decay and mess of the giant mall they're living in is ever present and helps keep us in the story.
 
However, I had a hard time calibrating my brain to understand your sequences. the horizontal layouts helped to break it down and make everything easier to digest, but I still had trouble. it also didn't help that some of the characters look very similar the way you've rendered them, Akira and Ancelin especially. this may be more a problem with the character design trends of the site, but that's a debate I don't want to touch.
 
the black and white art looks very good and your understanding of anatomy is always a treat, though.
 
Fred: your comic was HILARIOUS. The ending had me cackling even harder than Heathen’s pages did combined and because I read them one after the other, I saw them as a match set. I don’t know your reasoning for taking this direction and because of what happened when I asked Heathen about his, I do not want to know, but your comment ‘lack of effort can be a choice,’ endears me to you greatly.
 
 
Bobo/Jade: it's funny that you've told me people tell you your characters have too much 4th wall power and that you're yourself uncomfortable with other characters who do the same thing, yet here Ancelin did very literally banish The Smile from the comic. I liked it, it fit in well with Casino Resoning's bit, which was illustrated very well. Who hurt you?

Naenae's character is confusing to me, more like the monk character from Heathen and Underwood's battle royale a while back. have we all decided that that monk is somehow Naenae? Don's and Boogidi’s comics kind of collaborates some of that. The Smile was hottest in your comic of all. Other than those points, the story was very linear and easy to follow, with very traditional sequential art mechanics. the Lawful Good of all submissions, up until the end when we get experimental.
 
I feel like your ending is eerily similar to Heathen and Fred's: Heathen ended his with a page of text, and Fred did an homage to Evangelion: Bobo, Heathen and Fred ALL went Evangelion tbh, but in different ways for different reasons. After  this past year of existential dread, I don't blame yall. but unless you all discussed this in a clandestine meeting, your level of hive-mind is devastating.
Hellis: I was into it, but right at the cusp, when Akira has Mayor Smile at bay, i lost track of what was going on. You and Don played your story styles very straight and very traditional: come up with a reason to physically fight with each other and who ever wins the battle is mayor. Jade still did this, but there was more political intrigue involved, more respect to the legacy of Void, while you and Don, assumably newer citizens, have your comics set in a spyglass of your own polish.

Boogidi: I saved yours for last for some reason. Maybe I thought if i read the other player's stories first, I would build some kind of immunity. god he is unnerving. and the way you draw him is somehow even more uncanny than Don's. Usually, every time I look at Egg Dealer, i burp too-hard. I avoided this with all the other comics until yours. there is only One True Dealer.

And when I gaze too-long into Egg Dealer and his eggs, I DO feel my mind start to crack around the edges. there's some dark shit-post magic at play here.

I love how ugly you made everyone: the only player who made it easy to tell Ancelin and Akira apart.

I feel your comic was the most middle of the road response to how seriously this even was meant to be taken. you had fun, you made me feel creeped out without showing anyone getting murdered and you included all people up for Mayor while portraying them in their base states: all three prerequisites have been met.

all of you: took Egg Dealer and made him fit your world building so drastically. Because Jade's story is about the flux of canon, Egg Dealer was played the most as he is written by his creator, maybe with less kink shit involved. Hellis made Egg Dealer a normal guy with egg powers, and it was refreshing to see him in that world building. Don's work always gives me nightmares and I can't wait to see what their portrayal here triggers. You also all decided here that Ancelin and Akira should team up, however briefly. I've never seen them in a story together before so I'm left to assume this was the hive mind, again.

You all have a lot of talent and I hope one day Void will be less about comparing people’s work against each other and ‘beating’ each other and more about ‘who reached their goal’ and more the celebration of collaboration. This was all a ton of energy you all expended and the end result is several comics that feel unfinished or uninspired.
I have to say the only one that feels like the artist had an idea and carried it out to fruition in a way that made them feel satisfied while also carrying the meaning they intended to the audience is Jade’s.

Boogidi’s comic feels complete, but I can’t figure out what your DEAL IS, DUDE. Maybe that’s the point, to make me feel confused and uneasy because Egg Dealer scares the shit out of me, personally.

Hellis. Dear sweet Hellis. Your comic is well colored and balanced, but like I said above there was a part where I lost track of the action. There is also a problem with your english translations, but if I’ve learned anything from this community it’s this: void isn’t here to teach us english so we’re gonna ignore all that.

Don: I see that you conserved your energy most efficiently of all competitors. But you still spread yourself pretty thin for the amount of story you wanted to tell. Loved that sex scene though. Definitely don’t need to cut that. V. important.

Fred: you did a performance piece with yours and I respect that

Heathen: yours passed as a performance piece but apparently it weren’t tho, so points deducted. ;_;

I can’t wait to see if the rest of the community agrees with me or not on some of these points and this was the most fun I’ve had reading an event since I joined! Good luck everyone, and please please pace yourselves in 2021!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
519 comments
# 23   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 11:45 AM
"Especially with the low page count for such a long draw time"

No. Fuck off.
This place is great to have fun and learn but people tend to give way too much to it and burn out on a fucking hobby. We've personally done it before, and have no intention on doing so ever again. More drawing time does NOT mean more pages. It doesn't even have to mean better pages. It CAN just mean less stress. We've dealt with crippling depression since we were a kid and it's only been getting worse, we don't need the stress, so we've decided to participate with this site in a stressless way. We do what we feel like as much as we feel like, and no more. For these five weeks, this is what we felt like making. It was fun. We had a good time playing with friends. Can that not be a worthy goal on its own? Our goal shouldn't have to be making as much comic as possible.
Lack of effort CAN be a choice. It can be healthy.

The rest of your critism is valid and taken to heart.

Hellis
Artist
271 comments
# 22   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 05:47 AM
A deed does not need to be signed over. They can be purchased. Property is wierd like that. Also Akiras powers are that of "Domain". So anything he owns becomes an extension of his power making every citizen of a city he hold legal possession over, a subject to his will.

As for the convenience part. He did state, in plain, that most have no idea who is employing them. Hence no direct interaction. As for Nae, I ended up using her as a vessel for telling what Akira can cause if he has power and that he is more then he seem. On that note, I never in my comics made Akira out to be anything but ambitious and have dropped hint to much bigger things consistently. But it ended up missportraying Nae quite a bit I agree. Honestly, I needed to run my script trough a few more times, but I literally spent weeks in a semi-fugue state.

As for eggdealer. Yeah, I just.. "Puns are fun" and thats the extent of it.

TheCydork
Artist
441 comments
# 21   Posted: Feb 13 2021, 01:23 AM
Man, it’s really cool to see how many different ways an election can be interpreted. I love how most of them weren’t even an election at all XD Great creativity here, and god job all who finished!

Spoiler: Heathen • show
Hm, I’m on the fence about this gritty inking style. At first I really dug it, being seeing your pencil sketches later on in the comic, I thought you really lost something during the inking stage. The setting here was an interesting but confusing one. I honestly thought the Sky Falls comic was a setup to elections, but then your actual comic seemed to be veering off hard in a different direction. I’ll have to see the final result to make a proper crit, I think.


Spoiler: Don • show
That Egg Dealer was fucking horrific, 10/10 best interpretation here. I think you portrayed the Smile cleverly too - dead, but still a massive influence. And ofc what’s not to love about a skeleton embedded with rapiers? Loved the sequences where Naialah was compared to the Smile, I honestly never would have made the connection but it would worked out so well. And her illuminated scars mimicking the eyes of the Smile mask on page 35 and 46? Hell yeah. And lil detail here, but I loved the eggy sound effects on page 4.

I actually didn’t think any of the shots were cheap, on the contrary you went for some pretty interesting layouts in this comic. I liked pages like 23 - the convo with Naialah overlaying the sex, plus Elijah’s back tattoo and the spider web silhouette was pretty damn striking - and 25, but other pages didn’t quite work. Pages like 6, 16, 18 and 22, I wasn’t sure what the reading order was.

Onto the writing. I was... kinda confused on the first read and I’m still equally as confused on the second. I know parts were cut, but reading the script didn’t clarify things. For instance, why did Elijah and Naialah immediately decide to kill Egg Dealer after seeing him? I know later on Ancelin mentions his death speeds up the trip, but I didn’t get any indication that that was the pairs’ plan. Was it out of plain disgust? If so, how was that strong enough for them to plan a distraction and not stop to consider they might starve from it? Why does Naialah transform into a monster form? Was the Smile’s influence so powerful it physically changed her? Why is she willing to rule now? Why did Elijah choose sex with Buster as a distraction when he’d reveal something that seemed to be a secret? Or did I read wrongly, and it wasn’t a distraction to kill Egg Dealer, just plain sex? I have so many questions, I feel like the story is just out of my reach. I know you joke about making them so long, but I think that’s genuinely something to look into. Longer isn’t always better, and condensing a script often improves it, becuse you’re forced to identify the really important/necessary bits, and cut away any confounding excess. A piece of advice I once came across was to cut 10% of your draft** - while I think that’s a bit drastic, it’s still a good tip to keep in mind. If that’s difficult, you might need some harsher editors for your scripts instead.

There’s another thing which isn’t a problem specific to this comic, but something I noticed while reading it. You should probably practice establishing different character voices. Most of your characters have a vaguely southern accent*, from Wynne to Niles to Elijah. It’s fair enough if that’s your taste with your own characters, but then Ancelin speaks with that same accent (e.g. page 7), when she’s supposed to be French. I thiiiink I noticed you doing this with Luci as well back in Great Escalations? So that’s something to keep an eye on.

*Or at least, the same kind of accent/dialect. The speech uses “ain’t”, “yer”, and shortened words like ‘n or th’.

**Oh also this won’t be the case for EVERY script. Idk how to explain it well without making this super long RIP. Obviously if you’re going for something more chill, you’re not gonna cut a silent panel for not having important info. That still moment IS important, but for the pacing!


Spoiler: Fred • show
I’d love to know what you were going for here because I couldn’t make head or tail of it. Every page felt like it’s own separate story, disconnected, and most of them for me didn’t stand on their own imo. I know you experimented with the style for the first page when Buster fought Anvil, but it still doesn’t feel intentionally simple to me. The figures are flat coloured while the walls have smudges of shadow on them for instance, and the palette isn’t very cohesive. I think if you’d had more consistency within the style and picked a good palette, it would be more clear that this was a choice on your part rather than low effort. It’s difficult to shake that feeling when I’ve seen what you can do in the past. Especially with the low page count for such a long draw time, from an outsider’s perspective it looks phoned in. There’s also the last page, which is a copied scene that doesn’t fit in with anything else, except for the fact that the Smile is in hospital I guess? And page 3, which I enjoyed, still has glaring typos in the very first word balloon and is drawn rather messily.


Spoiler: Jade • show
LOVED your comic. Damn. There were so many creative sequences here, my favourites were the attempted mind control and the Smile literally trying to get back into the comic from the edges. Really clever. Your art has also definitely levelled up, especially in terms of linework and posing. I loved how you used colour to aid in the storytelling, like that mind control again and when Buster flipped the coin. The monotone itself for each different colour was also very good, and I liked the chapter covers. I can’t believe you bought all those spiders and smiley balls XD

In terms of writing, yours felt the most solid to me, with every event clearly connecting to the next. You wrote everyone very well and in character too imo. Also, for me it was obvious that this Naialah was a young one! She lacks her scars and most of her piercings, as well as having hair. Between that, her stature and being called by a different name, I think you did all you could to portray that difference. So her actions make sense to me and I didn’t find it jarring with her current self.

If I had to critique anything, it would be the toy hammer that the Smile was bonked with. I don’t know what its significance is as the weapon of choice, or where it came from. I’m guessing it had something to do with Buster’s wager, but the link wasn’t clear to me.

But yeah anyway, you still did an amazing job. Ancelin deserves that crown!


Spoiler: Hella • show
Love the references to Ye Olde Void. Tbph despite being a fairly recent Voider who wasn’t aware of Toast being a janitor and all that, the way you wrote it still made perfect sense to me. Of course the creator of the Void website would have the deed to the city hanging about in his property, the bar. It was also really interesting to see Akira this way. I honestly had no idea he was this power hungry - I thought he was content to controlling individuals or charming club crowds.

Crit-wise, I had trouble following this because most of the characters didn’t feel quite right to me. For instance, why did Egg Deaaler agree to fight the Smile? I know Akira has mind control abilities, but do they work when he’s so far away? Why is Naialah trying to help Ancelin? So far she’s appeared to be a mind your own business-type, if not actively antagonistic. She seems too heroic and talkative here. I wonder why Ancelin would be out of her mall and in a position to be chased by Smile in the first place, or why she was targeted when she wasn’t a meta.

On a final note, in terms of overall writing things felt a little too convenient. Akira just happens to pair up with Saal, who happens across Toast’s bar, which has access to what is effectively one of the most powerful documents in Void, all offscreen. The deed is just sitting there and nobody else has taken it yet but him, even though other people are present in the bar (as opposed to it being a lost place only recently being rediscovered but Akira). Also, simply picking up the deed transfers power to him, so much power that he can now control the Smile. Does simply touching the deed grant you power? Do you need to have intent to rule Void? Shouldn’t there be a signature involved or something? Idk it just didn’t gel for me.


Spoiler: Boogi • show
This was honestly really fun, probably my favourite comic of yours so far :) I loved this parody version of the Smile and his goons, basically everything he said on page 19 was super funny. The animations at the end were very cool, and a great way to wind down the comic. It was also an interesting route for the election to literally be an election.... but won by voter fraud on Egg Dealer’s part XD

On the crit side, apart from the forests Naialah emerged in, most of the environment felt like an empty cityscape. There was a far off building here and there, and the floor was grey which makes me think of cement, but that was it. The shadows were also vague smudges for the environment, which clashed with the hard edged spotblacks and hatching for character shading. I’d recommend picking one style of shading and sticking to it, and of corse filling in the environment more.

Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 20   Posted: Feb 12 2021, 01:33 PM
I should clarify that Naia is supposed to be a reimagining of a younger Naialah whose personality is slightly off from the world she comes from. I consulted with Don a bit on what her personality and appearance were like as a teen/young adult, and hopefully I did an okay job of integrating that with the idea of this being a different universe from the one the real Naialah lives in. I'll let Don be the final arbiter of how I did, but I just wanted to explain my thought process!

DelDraws19
1 comment
# 19   Posted: Feb 12 2021, 12:00 PM
So many wonderful entries!!

Heathen: Even unfinished, your linework is solid and impressive!! Sad you couldn't finish, but what you got done was fun!

Don: Just phenomenal work- good integration of characters, solid art, great dialogue. Not a surprise from you, Don! Even with your final pages lacking the dialogue you had wanted, they still remain fairly clear.

Fred: A comedy entry! It's funny, and that's what it's going for! Not much substance, but still a fun read.

Bobo: Incredibly solid! Great art, and a solid story structure! My only issue was with Naialah- she's meant to be a very large woman, with a firm personality, but here she's been reinterpreted as average sized and meek. It would make more sense if it was explained why this Naialah is different, but instead she comes off as very jarringly out-of-character. Otherwise, very solid.

Hellis: Fun action!!! A lotta fun action. Some typos take it down, but the plot still comes through pretty clear. And a great setup for potential future events, following your canon.

Boogi: GOD your writing is funny. It's... it's so WEIRD, but very specifically written and funny. Solid entry, and solid linework! Good job.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
154 comments
# 18   Posted: Feb 11 2021, 11:12 PM
In Heathens I love how Colbitzer looks into the screen like a grandpa trying to skype his grandkids.
Hellis, it looked super nice I liked egg dealer as a sumo
In Fred's that ending got me Loved it, and the weird egg sequence
Bobo! Egg EggDEALER! Egg muscles!!
Boogie! Your comic was everything I could ever hope for!!!
Damn Don! over 50 pages! You're a machine! Loved the spine scene so much!
Through all these I got what I wanted, getting to see how everyone interprets the egg dealer and I'm so happy about it!

IItherockmanII
Artist
3 comments
# 17   Posted: Feb 11 2021, 08:11 AM
Good job to the 6 of you, I feel the love each of you poured on these.

Heaten: I like what you showed us here, specially the egg ships. (Please finish it)

Don: I'm blown away by the length and quality of your comic, your anatomy and composition are so good!

Fred: I live how simple yet entertaining is your comic, got some chuckles out of me.

Bobo: That ending sequence was just... AWESOME, very original tbh I wasn't expecting that.

Hellis: great quality overall, impressive to have it all colored.

Boogi: I LOVE Egg-Dealer, such a fun character to read, the writing is just *chef's kiss*. Also, I wasn't expecting animated bits at the end, that was cool.




Hellis
Artist
271 comments
# 16   Posted: Feb 11 2021, 03:03 AM
God. I am so fortunate to have been part of this. Everyones comics have me inspired.


Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 15   Posted: Feb 11 2021, 01:13 AM
Spoiler: Heathen • show
I don't care how unfinished this is, you made my girl a badass and I love her right from the introduction. I'm enjoying your meta approach towards the sections you couldn't finish. You made up for it by making me laugh. I really hope you do finish this, because it sounds like an absolute masterpiece. Even just reading the description made me so happy.

Spoiler: Don • show
GOD DAMN WHAT THE FUCK DON FUCK YOU WHAT. Okay, something I love about all of your comics is how dark you make things, including your opponents. You're not afraid to turn other characters into villains, and I dig that. All the relationships between the characters Eli and Naialah meet at the beginning are so fucked up in such a great way. I love this route you took with Naialah, showing this dual nature within her, and ultimately giving into her beliefs despite conflicting feelings throughout most of the comic. You've left us a promise of finding out more about Naialah and who she is and I am SO ON BOARD for this!

Spoiler: Fred • show
YOU DELIVERED JUST WHAT I NEEDED BUT NEVER KNEW I WANTED. Thank you for making my day and my night and my life. Every page was a new surprise and a new joy.

Spoiler: Hella • show
We goin' DEEP with that lore! I appreciate that you dug into aspects of VOID's comic history that go beyond the recent stuff with the Retribution BB and such. And Akira looks like such a bad bitch in this comic. I didn't know what to expect from you at all, and I'm super digging how hard you went on this. Way to blow the election out of the water in a world-shattering way! And congrats on getting a fucking complete, fully colored comic done despite all the setbacks!

Spoiler: Boogi • show
I've always been intrigued by your comics, and reading through Egg Dealer's archive in preparation for this match made me a diehard fan. You haven't let me down with this comic in the slightest. Egg Dealer's mayoral outfit is FABULOUS. Ancelin approves. Your comic was a wild ride. It has everything in it that makes me love your comics. I can't wait to see what you do next!!!

Don
Global Moderator
167 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 11 2021, 12:11 AM
hi heres the clarification stuff

theres alot i had to cut out as the time was running quick, so alot of the development/buildup scenes are Not Here and i hate it too, BUT for you sexy sexy hoes, just literally take the entire damn outline to see the difference between the draft and the final product (bing bong heres the rough) because ALOT changed

ALSO YES THE ARTE MAY BE SHITE IN SOME PORTIONS IM VERY AWARE THAT SOME SHOTS ARE POOR/CHEAP/WHATEVER U MAY CONSIDER

and I wanna give a shout out to those who helped me emotionally and also by reading the shit i shat out during production
SEXY SCRIPT DOCTORS: PyrasTerran, Ran2, Finn (Who is not on the site but i love him <33333333)
KOZI: KOZI <3
ELI'S TATTOO DESIGN: ARTISTBLOCK
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT: LITERALLY LIKE. EVERYONE. I WAS VERY MUCH DYING. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE COMIC

Spoiler: HERES THE DESIGN FOR NAENAE AT THE LATTER END OF THE COMIC DONT LOOK UNTIL YOU READ THANKS • show


"Why does void city look like that?"
heres the reference have a nice day

Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 11 2021, 12:04 AM
I think this battle royale took a lot out of all of us! I know for me it was really hard to keep going several times during this, and talking to the rest of the artists, I know I'm not alone. I hope everyone enjoys all the hard work we put into these comics!!! I know I will :D

Hellis
Artist
271 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 10 2021, 11:53 PM
Uploaded. I fought with my mental health andd for most of the time alloted for this, so its a bit of a "lets sit into the last minute" sloppy and I tried one style that took to much energy so its gonna be all over the place style wise. I ask that you crit with that in mind. Reel in your need to dunk or nitpick the obvious issues with the art. I won't gain anything from it as artist.

Writing wise: Flow, Pacing etc. Go nuts? lol.


Heathen
Artist
434 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 10 2021, 11:11 PM
Uploaded what I’ve got. iPad has 4% battery.

Don’t go easy on me.

Don
Global Moderator
167 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 6 2021, 01:51 AM
IM GONNA KNOCK OUT SO FUCKING HARD WHEN THIS IS OVER

BoogidiBzdo
Artist
61 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 4 2021, 12:23 PM
Good luck everyone! Good luck whole planet, universe, galaxy, time-space continuum!

I’m almost done, you’ll see in time.

Can’t wait to see what everyone else did too! :):)

Red: No matter who wins, Egg Dealer is the mayor of my heart.
Quote
Thank you. :) <3

Red
Council
652 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 12:44 PM
No matter who wins, Egg Dealer is the mayor of my heart.

Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 7 2021, 03:21 PM
Fred v2.0.1:
Bobo: Let's have a respectful debate everyone
Quote
Fuck you
Quote
Okay =uwu=

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
519 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 7 2021, 06:15 AM
Bobo: Let's have a respectful debate everyone
Quote
Fuck you

Footini
Artist
197 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 6 2021, 06:25 PM
Row Row Fight The Power!!

Sean
Approval Committee
375 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 6 2021, 04:43 PM
GIMME LIBERTY OR GIMME DEATH

Shen
Artist
1353 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 6 2021, 01:59 PM
who will change the fate of void city this time!

Hellis
Artist
271 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 6 2021, 10:33 AM
*heavy breathing*

Bobo
Web Dev
1031 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 6 2021, 09:52 AM
Let's have a respectful debate everyone

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Feb 24th, 2021
Votes Cast: 41
Page Views: 2608
Winner: Bobo
 

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