Gold vs. Celif

Gold vs. Celif

Gold vs. Celif

This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Gold51.4%
581 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: celif, crimes!!, gold


This comic has been rated suitable for teens and up by its creator(s)

Icon for Celif48.6%
549 points
Page 1Page 2

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: celif, drugs, gold, griffin, shapeshifter




Critiques & Comments
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Flytee
Artist
193 comments
# 13   Posted: Jan 18 2021, 09:19 AM
Cy- An interesting peek into Golds world- the casual way these two lads bantered as they harvested a Dragons organs was pretty amusing. The art was great too, you continue down your steady path of improvement. I especially loved all the expressions you showed here and the way the lighting changed to show the passage of time. It was on the subtle side but still very well-executed.

Not too much more to add really- it was a solid little comic. All I can say is I'm itching read the longer bb's and stories you've teased at because while I enjoy reading shorter scenes I do think Gold needs that extra narrative push as a character. I'm ready for phase 2! GIMME


Fluff- Very nice, just a fun scene of two bros hanging out. There's a lot to like here, what dialogue we do have reads in a natural way and there are some fun sequences of Golds shifting.
Art wise I enjoy how expressive your linework is, I think it would've been just fine if it had colours or some kind of shading reinforcing it. But because its all you have to rely on visually I think you need to make your lines a lot tighter and more detailed, especially in those backgrounds. Maybe something to keep in mind.
Another suggestion- I think first panels are important, they can establish where the location is with an exterior shot or set the mood for the story (Cy's first panel is a great example of the later) I found your choice here a little lacking and not the best use of such a big panel.
Having a shot of Celif looking up at Cy's block of flats, making some kind of remark about his client could have been a good mood setter, or away to play around with the readers first impressions. (Imagine if you framed this like the start of an intense, scary drug deal- then it ended up being our protag getting high with some sketchy cat boy instead? xD)

Suggestions and crits aside, I'm a sucker for quieter moments, which break up character's more dramatic outings. So I enjoyed these two comics quite a lot. I think there's a lot of potential for this duo so I hope to see them interacting again!


ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
505 comments
# 12   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 11:37 PM
Cy- This was a cool comic and i love how clean your inks are in this, this really is a step up from your previous art in terms of that. also the overall colors are really nice. I also enjoy the story of Gold digging out dead monster organs to make money and tie back from Arma. My only crit is the knife size changes between pages and kind of throws me off. on page 1 it looks appropriate knife size, but on page 3 it looks like a short sword and there is a small line between the two size differences but it's distracting enough for me to notice. One thing that can help keep it in porportion is keep it's size in check to something on Gold, like in relation to the size of his hand. Great job with this comic overall.

Fluff- I love what you did with Gold in this switching so fluidly between cat and human forms and halfway forms. also your inks as a whole are very clean. The small interaction between the two was also nice and it seems like they both already know each other and have a friendship, i think it's nice to have a battle where the characters already have an established relationship rather than each battle just always being characters meeting each other for the first time. Artwise start with a gray canvas instead of white, gray is a better midtone than white and allows you to quickly establish your darkest parts with spotblacks and highlights with white making a much more striking 3 tone comic with not much more effort.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1169 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 01:11 PM
So many questions it apparently is causing an error and not showing it in my original post. Onto post number two!

FLUFF- I have so many questions.  How do these two know each other? Why did Gold reach out? Why didn’t we get to see these two talking while they got high? We have great set up moments in this comment to allow for some character development between them, but just as it seems we’re gonna get it, you veer into montages. Let’s see some talking! The haze of doing something seedy together just begs for some exchange of conversation I really wanted to see between them.

I’ll admit your style is loose and messy, but there is an ease to it I like. It’s clear you had fun with this and I for one am super intrigued by Celif. MOAR!

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1169 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 01:03 PM
CY- this was a great opening with that knife. Nice way to slap us a across the face with ‘yo we’re going gut spelunking.’ Dig these colors and am loving this throwback to collabs of yesteryear. I think the note as to folks being lost may be due to the fact the arma collab is so huge it’s easy to forget a couple stories, so more of a set up to remind the viewer what’s up may of helped. Still, as someone who DID remember, this was a nice jump back into the action. I think duels questions regarding Celifs motivations still stands. I think it would’ve made for a nice little character back and forth to actually see Gold clambering into the dragons cavity, go through the effort of tearing viscera and grumpily ask why Celif isn’t helping. It would’ve answered the question visually in the comic rather than have it explained in comment replies.
Such a minute note, but I personally dig you’re playing with light affecting the environment. Changing the scene from dusk to night to not only show the passage of time, but experiment with these two with a different lighting scheme was really nice.

ns

Footini
Artist
152 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 16 2021, 01:33 AM
Crimes? Crimes!
Cy: Good job on the artwork here. Hope to see you expand on these two's dealings in the future.
Fluff: Nice introduction to the thug bird drug man.  He's just as crooked and nasty as we'd hoped he could be.

TheCydork
Artist
399 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 11 2021, 08:47 PM
Thanks for the comment and crit Duel! I'm glad the knife went over well, I was digging it at first but then thought it might have been a bit much. Just wanted to reply to a couple of things you mentioned because I think other people might be confused too.

William_Duel: I'm perplexed though that there is very little gore or viscera.  There is some but Gold isn't even dirty when he's cleaning up the knife.  I'd expect that if he's harvesting this thing for organs there'd at least be some blood all over his arms?  Even the finest surgeon gets some blood splattered.
Quote

I joked that someone would comment on the lack of blood/viscera while working on this and lo XD The thing is, with surgery, the subject is still alive. When cutting into something that's already dead, there's pretty much no blood unless you're hacking it to pieces. My guess is that the blood pools in the vessels at the bottom of the body due to gravity, with no heart to keep it pumping everywhere, or it coagulates. I've done dissections myself, I also used references for this of crocodiles and snakes, including one that was cut open pretty recently after its death (it had eaten someone and they were fishing arms out of its stomach right there on the riverbank), you mostly just get interstitial fluid, which is clear.

Why is Celif hiring Gold?  Why can't he do this harvesting himself?  Does this job need two people?  You could have played up something like this beast's organs are addictive to most people except Gold.  Also why is this thing even here?  Why is it in the city?  And why is it half hanging off a floor in an unfinished building?  I just feel there was a missed opportunity to do more here and have fun with a scene like this.
Quote

This is a continuation from one of Gold's previous comics! The demon crashed through the building Gold was staying in, so he's returned to make some money off of it. It's just an opportunistic cash grab really, and Celif isn't doing anything because I thought it'd be funny for him to just be chilling while Gold did all the work XD And he didn't seem like someone who'd be doing gruntwork to me. I thought the story would be clear without knowing the other comic, and that for the people who HAD read it it would be a fun little throwback, so didn't think linking it before would be necessary. I was wrong though, so I'll drop the link in one of my older comments, sorry for the confusion!

William_Duel
Community Manager
939 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 11 2021, 07:34 PM
Cy, this was a decent comic.  I enjoyed it.  I think it was an excellent choice to have the very first panel be that closeup of the knife for harvesting.  It sets the tone for what is about to happen.  I'm perplexed though that there is very little gore or viscera.  There is some but Gold isn't even dirty when he's cleaning up the knife.  I'd expect that if he's harvesting this thing for organs there'd at least be some blood all over his arms?  Even the finest surgeon gets some blood splattered.  Storywise this ultimately feels like some sort of prologue.  Not a great deal happens and we don't get a lot out of Celif aside from he's having Gold do the dirty work for some light business.  This would have been an excellent opportunity to explore the characters' more unique qualities.  Why is Celif hiring Gold?  Why can't he do this harvesting himself?  Does this job need two people?  You could have played up something like this beast's organs are addictive to most people except Gold.  Also why is this thing even here?  Why is it in the city?  And why is it half hanging off a floor in an unfinished building?  I just feel there was a missed opportunity to do more here and have fun with a scene like this.  

Artwise your colors are quite excellent.  My only advice would be to stay away from grays as a crutch when it comes to producing shadows.  You'll get better results by using complementary colors to shade.  You did this well when it came to lighting.  The random smattering of gray smears on the kaiju on the last page do give it some volume but does not inform the texture very well.  You made an admirable effort with the backgrounds too.  I think you could do more to push those and give those buildings more life and I think this would be a good time to use reference to do so.  Here's some advice too that I've picked up off pros when it comes to digital backgrounds: don't rely on line tools to make perfect solid lines.  Use it to inform your underdrawing and try to do the lines by hand.  The imperfections will give more life to your drawing.

Fluffsamaprime, it is excellent to see you jumping into the fray already.  Much like Cy's comic, there is not a great deal that happens here but it serves as a bit more of an introduction to your character, which I appreciate and I'm sure future opponents will as well.  There are many times throughout the comic that I wish you had pulled the camera back more.  The first panel is very spacious but it's a very odd panel to look at.  You certainly made an attempt to reflect little details.  The mold, the dying houseplant, etc.  But I think there's more you have done to push that.  There's a lot of room to play with here and I don't feel that you utlilized it in the best way.  The use of the gray really confuses me.  Because it doesn't really define any shadows or lighting.  It's just there and in a weird shape.  Like it could be coming from the ceiling light because it's rounded but then the way it stacks is odd and it casts no real shadows on the figures in the drawing.  And then you used the gray again in the last panel to fill up space in the composition.  

What I believe is happening here is you're used to drawing characters and don't have enough experience drawing backgrounds.  Because your character work is much more confident than whatever is in the background at any given moment.  So I'd like to see you do more with shadows.  You've got good black and white work so you should try to be bolder with spot blacks and casting shadows.  Either that or actually use that gray you're using for filler as shadow.  Commit one way or the other.  

Everyone has trouble with backgrounds especially starting out but you did a great job trying to inform the scenes and the space that the characters inhabit.  They do look like they're reclining on that couch and I commend you for that.  My favorite panels are Gold yawning and transforming.  That is an excellent bit of character work.  I'm looking forward to seeing you grow.

TheCydork
Artist
399 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 9 2021, 04:26 PM
I already like livetexted my reading on discord but this was so fun Fluff! I love the expressions and how you made Gold so fluid in his form, thanks for battling me! What’s better than this, just guys bein dudes.

Brabbit
Artist
23 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 9 2021, 12:19 PM
JUST A COUPLE OF LADS, NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
121 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 11:03 PM
I need to get on a better comicing schedule

TheCydork
Artist
399 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 8 2021, 05:50 AM
Just wanna warn in advance that page 2 isn’t gonna be up to scratch with the other pages :( My mum developed some kind of tooth/jaw infection during the battle and got very ill. Since Fluff and I were both already knee deep in the battle and with manageable page counts, I didn’t see the need to cancel, but ended up sacrificing more time than I realised to look after my mum. Page 2 is a little rushed because I can’t do things in chronological order, apparently, and had finished pages 1 and 3 first XP So I’m aware of the wonky perspective and stuff!

Anyway back to the page which I still haven’t finished 8”)

Spoiler: UPDATE 10th Jan, medical stuff • show

If anyone was wondering about my mum, it turns out her tooth had shattered, decay was in all the cracks and she had an abcess. It was thankfully removed today before it could cause her any more issues, Doc was worried about possible bone infection. Fingers crossed she’ll be fine after recovering from the surgery.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
121 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 31 2020, 02:18 AM
LET'S GOOOOO!!!!
right after I get some sleep

TheCydork
Artist
399 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 31 2020, 02:15 AM
YELLS

EDIT: This comic references events in Armageddon 2020 Collab: Road to Hell! Just two pages :)

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 16th, 2021
Votes Cast: 28
Page Views: 358
Winner: TheCydork
 

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