The Rage: A RETRIBUTION Side Story / The Gray Owl and Ashlan

The Rage: A RETRIBUTION Side Story / The Gray Owl and Ashlan

The Rage: A RETRIBUTION Side Story — The Gray Owl and Ashlan

by PyrasTerran and Don

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for The Gray OwlIcon for Ashlan
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Critiques & Comments
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Global Moderator
# 19   Posted: Dec 20 2020, 02:25 PM
This was a long time coming but it was worth the wait. This was such an enjoyable read and its doubly exciting to know folks are reading this and getting inspired to do more comics because of it. That, at least to me is one of the highest compliments a battle can get.

I really enjoy Ash's character and wish the aspects we got to explore here on her life, relationships and history had more context. I agree with the previous comments that there's so much left unsaid I feel stifled these emotional moments we witnessed because we didn't know the details like she does. Of Pyras' roster, Owl isn't exactly my favorite, but seeing him outside of his element doing silly contest challenges and working with an unlikely ally really appealed to me. It added oomph to him losing it in the end and added context behind his monsterous wish. If anything, of the two, Owls character journey felt clearer and straightforward. It all built up to that great mask removal and face reveal that was a great payoff to the trust these two forged during this trial. Nothing was obscured or 'well you need to know this context that we didnt show to get it' with him.

The Black barn is born. I cannot WAIT to see what comes of this.

# 18   Posted: Dec 20 2020, 10:00 AM
This was a wonderful read thanks you two !

# 17   Posted: Dec 20 2020, 02:50 AM
Man I just keep coming back to reread this. I must've read it like five times the first day it got posted. I have a few nitpicks here and there--mostly with the ending, which I agree felt a bit off from the rest of the comic. As others have mentioned, so much happened in this comic that by the time we returned to the rich guy from the beginning I had entirely forgotten who he was so I had to go back and re-read it to remember, lol. I also get the feeling that Owl's Beast Mode is meant to be a sort of permanent form that he can shift in and out of at will, much like Ash's monster form, but I think if that's the case you could've perhaps made it a bit more explicit by potentially having it resurface at the end, if only briefly, or if perhaps the ending had been resuffled to have had Owl give his "we are bretheren" line before getting poofed back and then having it end as they get poofed.

Beyond that, though... man. This is such a powerful comic. Normally with grayscale comics I find myself still wishing for color, but in this I think it works so well thematically that I don't really think colors would've added anything--and that's even factoring in just how bright and colorful Jozzik and his show are supposed to be!!

Speaking of Jozzik I'm absolutely honored you continued to include both him and Kid throughout the story--I was honestly fully expecting the rest of the story to be Jozzik-free just cuz I thought his time in the spotlight was over, but I really loved the arc you had him and Kidlet go through. I also love his moment with Ash at the end, and REALLY love the idea of the Wish Orbs--if it's alright with you two I might incorporate that into his lore! lol props to y'all for finding a way to explain his lore in a way I like more than my own ideas XD
Really, that's the biggest thing I came out of from reading this: Inspiration. This, followed by the Retribution Culmination, really gave me a spark of inspiration for Jozzik I haven't had in a while. So thank both of you, for an amazing comic and for including my boy and inspiring me to do more hehe

# 16   Posted: Dec 19 2020, 12:26 PM
The muffin challenge was truly the ultimate test!

Community Manager
# 15   Posted: Dec 18 2020, 06:52 PM
Awesome to see the full package for this comic, most of my crits from the previous part still stand. you two are professional quality and should be out there making comics beyond void. You both as a pair work fantastically. Also the overall character arcs and story is really good for this. However there are a couple things I'm hung up on that I didn't enjoy.
Cy described it really well in his crit. The saying the changes are permeant then taking them away really sucks. I wish you would have changed the line in this version to something like just saying they have to conquer their fears instead of saying it's a permanent choice.
I do like what happened with the first part of the wishes, where ash got her lover back only for her to die right after is kind of tragic. Gray owl wished for power instead of getting back his people was also a cool twist, however the fact his new beast form just goes away with no explanation after the show really bothers me. Combining this with the biggest fear part it really takes away from Jozzik's character making him very inconsistent with his own word and what he does, which doesn't seem to be a part of his actual character.
another minor thing is in the ending Ashe murdering the random rich guy is supposed to be her way of working with Gray Owl but it just seems like a random killing. Ashe has killed and hurt people pretty indiscriminately in her previous comics and this guy has no direct connection to the game show. I guess it's to show her not taking the orders anymore, but i feel like if there was also a maid in the room ashe would have also ended up killing them as well since that is how her character has previously been established. Ofcourse that could be conflict in future comics, Gray owl targets the rich and their goons and Ashe targets whoever she wants.
You two work great together and looking forward to seeing more of your stuff, though it's honestly on such a professional level you two should start getting your work off of void and into bigger audiences.

# 14   Posted: Dec 17 2020, 09:28 PM
Some of the key poses in this comic are stunning; Owl's beastmode on page 31 is so savage and scary looking, that image really stuck with me. I will agree with flytee that the palette choice, greyscale save for red, is a sticking point for me - not that I dislike it, on the contrary it always works for me and looks good, but it's also not very surprising, i've seen it countless times now. The tonal shift didn't bother me, because at least with Owl's comics, there is a precedent for sudden, horrific violence. And the wish angle I thought was implemented well, it definitely communicates a tragic angle of these two characters - that the violent lives they lead sorta forbids them from happiness, because they court death. So when they get a wish, there doesn't have to be a classic "cursed wish" scenario, it's just that their own lives curse the purity of a wish, good stuff. And finally, its once again proven that you two have such consistency in your comic art, even over 37 pages, and that is in many ways the most important thing to deliver on, so kudos there.

# 13   Posted: Dec 17 2020, 02:38 PM
It took a while for me to comment in this because holy fucking shit
That massacre was extremely satisfying to see. This was so brutal, seeing normally untouchable characters be this vulnerable is always such a great way of humanizing them (even tho they are not human lmao)
I've always been a fan of monochromatic comics with few brightly-colored elements, and this is no different! The blood looks a little flat compared to the rest, but I'm guessing this is an artistic choice because regardless of how flat it looks, it works so damn GOOD. There's been quite a bit of collabs on the site lately and I adoooore them, you both obviously made the best use of your strengths and it shows!
The close-up of the Owl's mask as he is laying in the ground made me feel so many things, the fact that we can only see his eyes a little bit says so so so much with showing so little. This kind of subtle hints at emotions and a character's state of mind make me fall in love hard with any sort of art. The movement/impact/flash effects are so good and palpable, too!
This was such a brutal and raw read, I can't wait to see how this experience affects them in the future
OUTSTANDING WORK!!! This I will definitely reread in the future

# 12   Posted: Dec 16 2020, 10:53 PM
I really enjoyed the additional pages that you both added to this! I'd been wondering what their wishes were going to be and if they would get fulfilled, but this ended up so SADLY! The betrayal that Ash, the Gray Owl, and Jozzik (but especially Ash) go through on this is brutal, and I want to see even more about how they react. I really enjoyed the change of tone from a silly match to them bonding over fears to their dismay to seeing their dreams crumble before their eyes.  

I'll echo what others have said about backgrounds, but I'll also admit that the story that was being told made me forget about them until it was pointed out. "We are kindred" being said by the Grey Owl sent chills down my spine, and made the ending of the comic really satisfying to see. Let them have their vengeance!!

# 11   Posted: Dec 16 2020, 12:04 PM
One of my favorite comics of the past couple years just got even better!

Fantastic polishing up, and incorporating this into The Sky Falls's plotline.

I maintain that Don inking Pyras is arguably the strongest art team on the site.

# 10   Posted: Dec 16 2020, 05:04 AM
Those 37 pages flew by for me, this was a well-paced, engaging story with a strong premise. Comics like this make me want to collab more.

- Great set up/ concept. I find reality tv/ game shows oddly unnerving so I love it when people turn the genre on its head and use it in horror/ violent stories. It's a troupe that never fails to entertain me.  
-The Violence at the end was built up really well, their rage felt earned and impactful to me as a reader.
-I enjoyed how you had a throwaway line about Gray Owl removing his mask, actually pay off at the end.
- There were quite a few tone shifts in this comic, but I always felt like there was a suitable amount of breathing room between them.
- Obviously, the characters in this are very well drawn, great expressions and movement. Even though a lot of the action was shown in silhouettes it was really clear to follow and felt brutal.

Not really a crit, more a personal preference.
Spoiler: show
- I'm a little torn on this point, but I'll just say it anyway. I'm not feeling the red blood throughout this comic. Visually I find the idea of having a greyscale comic + red blood...a little cheesy? (For lack of a better term)
However, the reason I'm torn is that I LOVED the use of red in the final, violent scene at the end. It really worked there for me. I think it might've been cool if the colour was more subtly introduced into the comic as the tension is ramped up, instead of just having an "only blood is coloured" rule.  

Spoiler: show
- Backgrounds I guess, I get that this space is somewhat removed from reality and probably doesn't follow the same rules- but since there were establishing shots at the start showing a stage and an audience. It kinda throws me how that sort of vanished for most of the comic. Like I said earlier I love this setup, I personally think it's unsettling. I couldn't help but think wouldn't it be interesting to see the audience's reactions or staff on the set showing complete apathy to what was happening. The setting felt like a strong component of the story that wasn't fully used.

Crits aside, this was an excellent comic.
You guys make a mightly impressive team!

Web Dev
# 9   Posted: Dec 15 2020, 06:13 PM
I feel like some of these crits are super off, so I just want to say how much I loved this. I loved the dissonance created between goofy game show and high, violent and horrifying stakes. I love that you brought the Smile's goons in to show how they're planning on running everything going forward. I love how you showed these two losing everything just as they sacrificed so much to gain it, and how that changed how they saw each other and how they're going to approach the world going forward. I thought it was a bit of a waste at first to have Gray Owl become this bestial creature only to turn back into himself at the end (although the fact that Odette came back to the present makes me wonder if that creature is actually gone or not), but I feel like the point of this story wasn't to give the characters anything new on a physical level, but rather for them to gain a common goal. The chance is mental/social, not physical (unless that beast owl form still exists somewhere), and I'm all for that. This is a professional level comic with great writing and characters I feel like I really GOT as a result of the comic. Can't wait to see more from both of these guys!

Web Dev
# 8   Posted: Dec 15 2020, 06:02 PM

# 7   Posted: Dec 13 2020, 05:06 PM
Two of Void's best in a collab. This comic is definitely top notch. The script, storytelling and visuals all sing in perfect harmony. The decision to include part one was very smart as not a lot of people would remember what happened during the tag team match.

Can't really crit much, if there were flaws I wouldn't have noticed them as I was engaged by the story all throughout. Py and Don, it goes without saying that you are two of the artists I admire the most in this site and this comic is a testament to that. Well done!

# 6   Posted: Dec 13 2020, 01:01 PM
OOOOF this teamwork is the DREAMWORK you guys work so well together I cant tell who did one most of the time, gorgeous art! Incredible action! Such heartwarming, bittersweet tragedy! Maybe someday Jozzik can bring them back on for a 'part two' do-over since the first one got ruined... and lets be real its probably the best episode of the show =P I hope Owl is able to keep his monster form its REALLY GODDAM COOL. Gosh, so many panels made my heart bleed- Ash's howl of despair when Odette died, monster Owl's emergence AND bloody cooldown, Owl raising his mask to Ash- yall are hella good
The only thing that confused me was at the end when they got poofed back to their proper timeline, for a moment I got really confused where they were, i forgot completely about the Ash's bodyguard job and the client was only in silhouette and then not seen again with only the one establishing shot so i had to re-read the end to figure that out.
anyways i hope to see more of these two fighting crime and being pals!

# 5   Posted: Dec 13 2020, 02:47 AM
This was really damn good. You guys are a great team, I honestly couldn’t figure out who did what. Don’s art has this great kinetic energy to it but can get too loose and abstract, while Py’s stuff is more grounded and solid but sometimes stiff and artificial-feeling. This combo really brought out the best in each of your styles while pretty much eliminating the negatives imo. The monotone was excellent. The writing was really good too and it flowed very nicely. I said this when you posted the first half, but despite Ash and Gray Owl being unlikely allies, their relationship and dialogue felt very organic to me as well as Ash’s change of heart by the end. Jozzik’s toon nature was also utilised really well (and again, love that tail mic)!

I have some more thoughts on the writing that I wouldn’t call critique exactly because it’s more subjective and not to do with the quality of the writing. But they’re things you might wanna consider for future comics with either of these characters.

Spoiler: Writinggg • show

There were a lot of twist and reverse twists here that resulted in a return to status quo by the end. These characters will be cursed! Oh never mind that was a prank. Ash wishes her wife back! Oh never mind she dies again. Gray Owl wishes for extreme power! Oh never mind he’s back to normal now. By the end of the comic, nothing has really changed for the characters except them stopping the fight. With almost 40 pages here, that seems like a pretty small payoff. I know because of Discord that Ash is going to team up with Owl afterwards, but that isn’t really indicated here.

I can understand Odette being killed immediately and Owl choosing power over his people in the heat of the moment, ultimately leaving both without their wishes. It really hammers home the futility of their situations, how both Void or their own emotions prevent them from finding peace, and that was pretty powerful. But combined with the other two twists and for such a long comic, it might come across as unsatisfying in a meta way rather than unsatisfying in an emotive way? If that makes sense? Like rather than feeling pain for the characters disappointment you are yourself disappointed?

For me personally, I enjoyed the story but these things definitely niggled at the back of my mind. I was disappointed that I wouldn’t see any implications from this encounter later on. I was really looking forward to seeing the characters deal with a curse, or wish. Though, having seen Ash’s new armour in Discord, I do have that to look forward to now.

# 4   Posted: Dec 12 2020, 10:47 PM
Love love loooooooooovvveeee the ending's mood, and the use of red against black and white is excellent. I was a little surprised to see these two work together for a common, but separate goal; it felt a little abrupt that they would drop the prior tension in favor of teamwork. Maybe there's more between them I haven't seen before. But it didn't distract me too much! The art itself was mesmerizing; the two of you worked amazing together and I was impressed to see a monotone comic still bounce around in very expressive moods, from the aforementioned to the silliness. Good stuff!

Last but not least: I'm on that Adler train. CHOO CHOO

# 3   Posted: Dec 12 2020, 04:22 PM
i demand this right now

Global Moderator
# 2   Posted: Dec 12 2020, 03:34 PM

Global Moderator
# 1   Posted: Dec 12 2020, 02:45 PM
Complete now

This is a complete version/remaster of the 2v2 battle comic vs Jozzik the Great and Kid Wilde. Some updated visuals, sound FX have been reworked, a few lines modified, and 14 more pages added that we didn't have time to complete last time, it's now the full story from beginning to end

Hope you guys enjoy

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Dec 20th, 2020
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 591

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