Tag Team Tournament 2020, Round 2 / Winslow Osbow and Lev Dzhambul vs. JPOP and Rue and Wormwood

Tag Team Tournament 2020, Round 2 / Winslow Osbow and Lev Dzhambul vs. JPOP and Rue and Wormwood

Tag Team Tournament 2020, Round 2 — Winslow Osbow and Lev Dzhambul vs. JPOP and Rue and Wormwood

Icon for Winslow OsbowIcon for Lev Dzhambul52%
524 points
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Crit level: No preference


Icon for JPOPIcon for Rue and Wormwood48%
483 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: jpop, rue and wormwood, Tag Team Tournament




Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
214 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 20 2020, 06:46 AM
What a round with both sides dishing out high quality comics - albeit in two very different styles - art wise and storytelling! I just got one crit though on JustaNeens side - I wish the comic page was a bit bigger :D

Really well done on both sides. Sorry I didn't get to comment earlier (things had been busy on my end) . Cograts Magipo for winning!


Gregly
Artist
140 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 18 2020, 04:28 PM
Pocketmouse and Magistelle: Proper good again! I like the abstract world this is set in and was impressed in the middle-- winslow started yelling and adding conflict, i thought it was a little contrived but then it was revealed that it was evil illusion winslow... I just think that was well done. The yellow/purple through out looks great and, of course, that dang wreckage is so fine.

Neens and Justarhymes: Again amazing inks, amazing pacing. If I had to critique anything I'd say maybe a little more attention on wormwood earlier so when he munches the parasite it's a little more expected, i keep forgetting wormwood is there. (but that's more on me i think.) I love how the backgrounds persist throughout at the same level of resolution to keep the comic flowing, there's never a point of-- 'oh they didnt do bgs this page' or 'oh, they really want us to notice the bg here...' it always fits and carries the comic along. the reveal of jpop's non-ghost actual body blew my mind and made me want to see what happens next, that was a very strong closer (and actually sticks to the living dead theme of this entire tournament). You two work really well together and these comics are so snappy and sharp, consider me a big fan.

justarhymes
Web Dev
651 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 17 2020, 03:36 PM
Thanks for the comments ( and to any future ones ;D ). I do appreciate the feedback we've gotten, and some good points were brought up. I'm going to give some thoughts as well:

Mocket: You two improved on the first round, for sure, but some of the same issues with story telling remain, and cause some problems. I think taking our story was a pretty bold move, but may have ultimately worked and helped you both find a direction. Some elements of it include some very odd calls. Like having a huge plot twist just dropped in the 2nd panel out of nowhere. Even though, "good guy turned evil" is a bit of a trope, that drastic of a twist still really needs some sort of set up. A lot of the other stuff involving the other dimension didn't really make sense, but I didn't mind as just focusing on the majesty of it all is still a lot of fun. The art is great once again -- no real crits on that.

I'm really glad that we got to battle you two. If I may be vain for a second, I really wish that we got to meet in the finals instead, but if this is how our story ends, I'm pretty OK with that, and happy that you two gave it a satisfying ending.

MeAnNeeNee: I am pretty satisfied with everything we've done. There was one thing I thought we were going to get ripped for, and I'm pretty surprised no one has brought it up. While I did explain it in dialogue, I felt Lev not being tied more to the encounter was the one big flaw in the story, and if I could redo things, I would have added another page or two introducing that. Besides that, I don't think we should have changed much. Like I mentioned, a lot of the feedback we've gotten was good (better than usual on Void TBH), but obvious sacrifices have to be made in a crazy short deadline, and I just couldn't do that for story or tone, and I boarded it out in a way that we could finish it all on time, and if some parts had to be a li'l cramped, that's OK for this particular series (people who have followed me know I am generally quite the opposite). Also, I know a lot people struggle with the concept of black comedy, but I think we nailed it, and it's fine if it doesn't click for some.

PS: @bobo, you are not smooth brained, I thought your feedback was great and really made me think about my story telling as a whole.

Heavenbat
Artist
145 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 17 2020, 04:27 AM
MagiMouse: God, honestly, I can't really find anything in this comic I didn't like. The art is super appealing, the colors are delicious, and the story is so so good. I loved the setup and then twist reveal of the labyrinth being an illusion, that was such a fantastic emotional gut punch, especially after seeing Winslow's excitement over not having to hold back.

JustaNeens: I appreciate that this story was a bit more serious than last round tbh! Nothing wrong with those humorous comics of course, I just appreciate seeing that yall can pull off a range of story tones! Your inks are really delicious and tbh work perfectly fine as black and white, but I'd still be interested to see what they'd look like with some color added next time, if you get to it! As far as crits, I think I'd mostly say to be careful with those thick lines when rendering smaller stuff--there were a couple times, with the slug and Wormwood specifically, that it was a little hard to see them among all the lines--in fact, I didn't even see the slug go into Winslow's ear on my first read through! I had to go back to the beginning once Jpop pulled the slug out cuz I was like "wait where'dthis come from?" (side note, I love Wormwood and I love that Wormwood just straight up ate the slug XD). The other thing is that when Winslow is explaining what happened to him, it feels a little too exposition-y, like he's just giving us a recap of what happened throughout the comic. However, reading some of the other comments, it seems like that bit of dialogue was useful to some peeps so your mileage may vary lol. Final thoughts: thank you for ending with Winslow giving Lev a hug, that moment legit made me smile so big. A weirdly wholesome comic despite the nearly strangling to death part! I could honestly see this being an episode of, like, an early 2000s cartoon or something lol.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1140 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 15 2020, 09:42 PM
MAGS AND POMO
Your rubble and ruined building work is fantastic! I NEED OT KNOW how you did this! Show me the ways!
Interesting move taking on the opponents narrative and interpreting it instead of going with your own concept
Your collaborative work (and that of the opponents) just seem the most honed and hybridy. I see both your artistic styles and touches but they blend so well

JHUSTARHYMES AND NEENS
The almost caved in older dead look of Rue is a great character design. You could’ve gone pretty, but this haggard is visually interesting
Your strength lies in comedy and you’re hitting home with it
I need bigger panels, more zoom out. I'm still feeling claustrophobic on how much you're packing pertinent info into tiny panels
RIP Willaim Duel XD

Flytee
Artist
165 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 13 2020, 05:04 AM
justarhymes- damn yeah in hindsight I can see how that comment sounds harsh, my bad, being cruel really wasn't my intention. :/

I've  expanded on my reasoning for this interpretation bellow, spoilered it because it's just extra chaff xD

Spoiler: show
 For me the level of serious drama you were going for was a bit lost in the cartoony style, I'd assumed you were going for a purely comedic tone and had tweaked the character to be a dramatic, almost emo-ish (I think its the hair) version of himself Panel 5 on page 4 was a big reason I latched onto that impression. I wouldn't quite shake it.
I will say I have reread your comic with your original intent in mind, and I could see what you what going for.



Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 12 2020, 05:44 PM
I think what was unclear to me was just how much of the deal Winslow was aware of beforehand. Now that I re-read page 1, I can see that he was upset after hearing that he had to destroy whatever was in his path. For some reason, the first time I read the comic, I read that panel as a reminder of an agreement that was already made. So this could totally just be my brain going smooth. It might have helped to make it clearer what Winslow thought he was agreeing to on page 1, but otherwise I think I'm just a little slow haha

TheCydork
Artist
338 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 12 2020, 05:41 PM
Magistelle/Pomo - Damn, I feel like you really captured JPOP and Rue well in this one. Even with the difference in artstyle, at times I was like wait- who’s side is this? I like how you portrayed them stylistically too! The dark comedy dimension and labyrinth was a really cool and creative idea, and WHAT is this reveal with Winslow and his winged form?? My interest is Piqued. I’m with Flytee here, I thought this was near perfect apart from the pacing :) Page 4 really whizzed by, the switch from fake evil Winslow to real Winslow was very abrupt, and didn’t give Lev time to really react to the harsh words.

Justarhymes/Neens - Strong start with the opening page. I’m not sure why, but keeping things black and white actually made the blood far more eerie to me. The shots where Nyx drags it down Winslow’s face were great. I feel like you two are the best at comic pages with many small panels too. Usually they feel cramped to me, but you always manage to balance the size of the panels with the amount of detail and/or dialogue very well.

I got the impression this was supposed to be a more serious/emotional comic, but the expressions still make it read like a comedy imo. Pages 4 and 5 suffer especially. Panel 6 on page 4 (“I tried to want you!”) reads in an extremely goofy way to me, especially with the perspective, as did panel 2 page 5. The expressions really need to be toned down to fit the vibe better. They’re hilarious when you’re doing comedy, but out of place here. A good way to see if you’re going in the right direction is to take away the dialogue and isolate the panel, take a break, then look at it and see how it feels. Or show it to somebody else and ask them what vibe/emotion they get. Lev’s exaggerated sparkly tear eyes on page 9 WERE adorable though.

justarhymes
Web Dev
651 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 12 2020, 03:48 PM
@boobs she mislead him about the deal. I thought I made that clear by mentioning she lied, and that it was only mentioned as bringing jpop's spirit back, but I can see where it wouldn't be clear to people not actively in this world as I have been the past 6 weeks.

@flytee I think you are interpreting it differently from intended, though that's ok! winslow was terrified of the potential of using his power and the fact that he nearly murdered someone. calling him a loud crybaby over that seems a little cruel XD

I appreciate the feedback! I'll def think about how to more clearly portray things.

I'll post a bit more about both comics later in the voting cycle, but I'm very happy people mostly like our end.

Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 12 2020, 03:26 PM
Spoiler: PoMags • show
It's no surprise coming from you guys, but the colors in this are excellent. They really set the mood! I think some of the details from the houses on page 1 got lost by how dark the colors were, but they still worked for me. If anything, it just enhanced the mood, although I would have liked to see some more of that delicious lineart shine through. I also love how well you portrayed your opponents, from Rue's willingness to use dark magic to JPOP's standup comedian powers. Using his powers as the basis for an evil curse was such a fun idea!

Story-wise, I love the theme of friendship between Lev and Winslow, and they are absolutely adorable together! The plot for this comic was pretty straightforward, with a mysterious twist that hints at something to come that's bigger than anything we've seen so far. I feel like there was a bit of a tell vs show issue with that reveal, especially since I don't know what it means yet, but it promises something that I'm sure is going to be really cool later on.

You guys have such a great team dynamic in terms of your art; it's all so polished and pretty! The story was fun, yet simple. The ending and the big reveal about Winslow made me super curious about what happens next! I'm looking forward to more from you guys no matter who wins this round!

Spoiler: JustNina • show
As always, Nina's inks are just... chef's kiss. Idk what it is about them but Nina's inks are some of my favorite, and they pair really well with Justin's pencils here! I love how much detail you manage to pack into each panel, even when the characters themselves take up most of the space.

As a vet VOIDer, I definitely appreciated the references to stuff like how furries have been treated in the past and the names of fallen characters from the past. And I also appreciate that you didn't rely on those references to make your story interesting, since everything still makes sense and is entertaining even without getting them. Just some fun easter eggs!

Writing-wise, I feel like you're trying to do a little too much with too little. The way characters react to what's happening makes sense, but some of the major plot points seem a bit shoehorned in. For example, I don't think you set up WHY Winslow would accept such a dangerous deal in order to get rid of his blessing. It makes sense that he would want to get rid of it, but agreeing to something that could harm other people seems out of character. I don't know if he just wasn't aware of what he was going to be made to do as part of the agreement or if Nyx managed to convince him to go against his best judgment somehow. Sort of similar situation with Rue putting herself in harm's way to protect JPOP. Maybe I'm just forgetting a detail from last round, but she doesn't seem like the type of person who would do that for a near stranger. Maybe she's just dedicated to the cause the group is woking towards?

Personally, I'm really enjoying this story and want to see where it goes next. I definitely think this comic read less like a comedy than last round, with the comedy mostly just being JPOP's behavior. And maybe that personality is just so strong it sort of colors the rest of the story, making it feel more like a wacky adventure than a serious mystery or something. I think that's fine, and something I'm enjoying personally, but if you're trying to go for something more dark and serious feeling, I'd try to focus more on the emotional journeys all the characters other than JPOP go on as they travel to their end goal. Make it easier for me to emotionally connect to those characters and I'll feel more invested at a deeper level.

I hope that all makes sense; I'm still recovering from drawing this round and am really tired haha. It makes me really happy to read comics by you two again, and I really want to know what happens next!

Flytee
Artist
165 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 12 2020, 03:13 PM
Magmouse- I don't know why but this storyline paired with the design of the evil witch REALLY reminded me of a Sailor moon? I 100% mean this as a compliment.
This comic was wonderful, it wouldn't look out of place on a comic bookshelf, you guys make a fantastic creative team. Your characters are also very, very loveable I'm really fond of this duo and invested in their friendship. (Also, Poor Winny ;_;)
I don't really have much for you in terms of crit, the pacing was maybe a bit too fast & the tone of the comic shifted quite abruptly at times- But overall it didn't hinder my enjoyment too much. This was a very impressive outing.

JustNeens- I really, really love this kind of expressive cartoony style so this comic was so up my street, and again I found the presentation here to be really clean and professional.
Writing-wise I like that you've clearly got a mini-arc happening over the tourney, which seems like a smart approach. I did not read the last round but I still found this comic easy to follow and entertaining even without context. The dialogue was a little over the top at times, but I get the feeling you were going for a goofy vibe, I enjoyed it.
I will say though seeing Winslow be portrayed as a loud crybaby was kinda jarring, I'm guessing he was tweaked to fit the tone of your comic better? (not against this approach btw)
Overall this was a really enjoyable comic, I better go back and read round 1!

Fantastic job to both of you!


PutridVodka
Artist
58 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 12 2020, 02:27 PM
AAAAAAAA
NOT ONE BUT *TWO* CLIFFHANGERS YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US KDSGAGDSKAAS

MAGISTELLE & POCKETMOUSE:
You two working together is like the dream team I never knew I wanted! The rendering is insane, the story is really damn good but with just enough silliness to keep anyone engaged. It gives me a teen titans (the good one) episode vibe and I LOOOVE it!  Your backgrounds are absolutely insane! And it was so so nice to get a taste of Winslow's powers at full capacity (or well-almost full capacity agdgadfah) the ending got me thinking he'll be even more hesitant to use his powers tho. Ouch my little heart....

JUSTARHYMES & NEENS:
THE INKINGGGG, I was already impressed with it last round, but I can't stop but obsess over it all over again! The expressions are just so damn good to look at! The dialogue leaves me chuckling even tho the situation is really dire- which makes me feel like an asshole BUT I LOVE IT. Jpop possessing Winslow there was such a clever way to stop him. Lev and Winslow hugging at the end was so warm and wholesome hhhh. THAT ENDING THO....I'm on the edge of my seat!

BOTH WERE SUCH A DELIGHT TO READ
Voting is going to be extremely hard

neens
Approval Committee
261 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 10 2020, 11:40 PM
all uploaded on our end! work was split the same- justin did the pencils and most of the writing, I helped with some ideas and inks!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 19th, 2020
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 442
Winner: Magistelle and Pocketmouse
 

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