The Assassination of Dan Uki by the Necromancer Tix Thundersong / Dan Uki vs. Tix Thundersong

The Assassination of Dan Uki by the Necromancer Tix Thundersong / Dan Uki vs. Tix Thundersong

The Assassination of Dan Uki by the Necromancer Tix Thundersong — Dan Uki vs. Tix Thundersong

by Footini

Icon for Dan Uki54.4%
417 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: dan uki, tix thundersong


Icon for Tix Thundersong45.6%
350 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: card game shenanigans, dan uki, hathsha, tix thundersong, uncle murphy




Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
473 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 24 2020, 08:36 PM
Footini: This is a great comic but it shows an underlying habit of yours I really don't want to see and don't want you to have and this is a big case of do as I say and not as I do.

Stop being so negative on yourself. You're not being critical of yourself since you just blanket put yourself down. It will be hard to improve your art when you just say everything is bad, even in joke it will seep into your mindset and will make it hard for you to improve. You need to pinpoint the things that don't work but just as important is to acknowledge what works.

You make jokes and say you're not good a lot, but you need to acknowledge that YOU ARE ONE OF THE BEST COMEDY WRITERS ON THIS SITE right now. When you're able to acknowledge the good and separate it from, the bad you can then do targeted practices which will be much more effective in improving. If you can't see your good you can't see yourself moving forward and you will struggle, I have been in this feeling a lot and I don't want you to go through the same. We did some practices when I was mentoring you and I think it would be good for us to plan some other times to do similar stuff. Practice with purpose and talk more about when you do well because you fucking killed it with this comic.

Batty: This is a really cute comic. I also enjoy the painterly shading you did and would like to see more of it for your future stuff. You mentioned that towards the latter half it ended up sketchy and that is pretty apparent. Even then I want to see you try a different style of sketching, the quick scrathy lines will lead to problems even in the inking phase and can result in a weaker base. I would recomend trying something like the FORCE drawing method coined by Mike Mattesi. Here's a video about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07fusT-dwVE and Mike Mattesi also made his own youtube with a bunch of livestreamed videos about the method that you can also watch.

Heavenbat
Artist
145 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 23 2020, 12:57 PM
Normally I don't like to explain myself in the comments but since it's been brought up a couple times, the game they're playing is just Knockoff Void Uno lol. I thought it'd be funny to have the setup make it seem like they're playing a super serious poker game with money on the line or something but then it turns out to be a Family Friendly Card Game

Flytee
Artist
165 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 23 2020, 10:45 AM
Footini- That was a very funny read, all the fourth wall breaking really made this comic stand out from the crowd- top marks for entertainment from me! I can't wait to see what you do next with Dan.
Crit wise I don't have a ton of new crit for you. Though I will say the final panel doesn't look very harmonious to me, I think this is because some of the characters are drawn in drastically different line widths, I don't believe that they all inhabit the same space. Something to keep an eye on maybe.

(btw cheers for the lil Rae cameo :>)

Heavenbats- I liked the minimal shading and the general idea for this story- quiet scenes full of character interactions are always really delightful. Super comfy. However, the flat ending and my lack of knowledge on the game stopped this story from reaching its full potential. I kept thinking wouldn't it be fun if Dan derailed the comic and turned it into a zany rules manual for the card game.

Rivana
Artist
214 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 23 2020, 06:04 AM
FOOTINI - Okay now I gotta be not biased here so I have to pretend  Raven is not my character. Still, I totally enjoyed your comic. Your humor definitely fits the  toon storytelling style.  The 4th wall breaking was done with perfect timing and Raven's dramatic speech and poses (though slightly exagerrated..just slightly!) are on point. The cameos are fun too and poor Rocio lol. I think you meant to say Mentor Roulette in one of the pages as that was the last comic she was featured in.

But yeah I read your comic more than once and still hilarious both times. My one crit is the  speech bubbles as many have mentioned (e.g. getting cut off at the edge of page ) and maybe experiment with a different comic font. The speech bubbles just didn't feel like they are part of the comic. Your inks are getting so much better though!

Thank you so much for featuring Raven.  It's absolutely flattering that she made enough impact on you to include her heavily here and know her quirks and ridiculousness despite the overall seriousness of the character. Really appreciate it <3

BAT - Interesting color scheme. The painterly shading you did here reminded me of my own. I'd say don't be afraid to go bolder with the value painting. I definitely like the set up you got here but as Kozi said, the action is a bit muted considering Dan's toony character.  I also don't know the rules of this card game to fully appreciate what was going on.  I love that dramatic panel  on  page 4 with Hatsha though and this comic definitely shows  how versatile you are by featuring 4 very distinct characters (in looks and species) around the card table! I also love your font and speech bubbles here.  Very clear and pleasing to the eye!


Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1140 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 22 2020, 09:57 PM
FOOTINI- I laughed out loud at this comic way more than I expected. This is a caliber of fourth wall breaking and goodnatured jabs at other void characters I'm here for. Dan impersonating a dramatically goth Raven has got to be my favorite thing.

As for crits, Tix already said what I would've said XD

HEAVENBAT- I wonder if I'd read this battle first if it would've influenced my perception of the battle, but this was played straight also in a way I didn't expect, but didn't feel particularly entertained by. There seemed to be so much potential for a toon like Dan to ham up this card game to comedic effect, but it just sorta ended on a weird tepid note.

snager
Artist
67 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 22 2020, 07:02 PM
Footini, this is some really smart and cutting humor , basically a political cartoon based on void's behind the scenes right now. future generations will balk as they try to comprehend.

Heavenbat, you played it straight and it's so conversely convex to foot's. it's wholesome. A+

PutridVodka
Artist
58 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 19 2020, 03:56 PM
FOOTINI -
Those cameos! I see a little mysterious silhouette sitting on that table....That Rocio cameo and dialogue made me forcefully exhale through my nose lmao. The humor was really great! The overall background perspective is kinda off and the dialogue bubbles don't align very well with the text, but that's something easy to overlook. It's nice to see Dan in action! 4th wall breaks always make me smile lmao love it!

HEAVENBAT-
I dig the simplified shading you went with! It's always nice to see characters interacting in common situations like playing cards with no high stakes involved. I think your lines could be a little less fuzzy, but overall it was a really sweet comic. Loved how Dan's assassination involved him getting slaughtered by +4 cards lmaoo

Considering the situation you both were in, I think it's still a solid round
Looking forward to you both battling again at your best!

InvaderDiz
Artist
24 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 18 2020, 10:02 AM
Footini really swung for the fences on this one. It’s meta, it’s clean, it’s concise, it’s got gratuitous cameos. Aside from like one spelling error this is pretty perfect for a toon like Dan, and some welcomed comedy after the stress that was Arma.

HeavenBat, this wasn’t bad. It was very clean but not a whole lot happened. Just kind of basic.

Footini
Artist
95 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 16 2020, 08:49 PM
Batty it looks like we both got kicked around by our jobs this battle.  This comic was a rush job for me too.
I still enjoyed your side a lot and we should totally battle each other while we're at our full strength!!!

TheCydork
Artist
338 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 16 2020, 04:48 PM
Footini - Mamma mia that’s a spicy burger. This is probably the most meta comic I’ve seen from you yet, and I really enjoyed it! Especially loved Rocio wondering if Raven has gotten up to anything without her, and Tix straight up walking out of the page XD I’m not sure if it was intentional, but it’s really funny to imagine Void characters setting up a scene waiting for certain people to come along and fight them. Also Dan!Raven is great.

As for crits, while I had no trouble with reading order you should probably be mindful as some bubbles, such as panel 6 page 4, were in opposite positions than you’d expect. The text was often out of alignment with the bubble as well. And while I liked how meta this was, at the same time that’s sort of ALL it was. The comic was mostly hey, remember this? Remember that person’s story? I wish there was more to it than just “look how meta this is”. Like I said I really enjoyed those jokes and I’d like to see more! Just try not to lean on them too heavily.

Batty - I said this before but I love the last page XD Though Tix’s expression the page before was pretty great too. I’m glad you put a gradient map on too, the palette is nice and I think it looks much better than it would have done in black and white. I think the buildings on the first page could have done with a bit more love though. An establishing shot that takes up the whole page needs more detail, and these look pretty flat.

Heavenbat
Artist
145 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 15 2020, 11:22 PM
Submitted! slight disclaimer that I know there's wonky anatomy in places and the lines aren't my best and devolve into sketches halfway through, I just. Ran out of time to fix it. Ended up being busier than expected. But I definitely could have done better, haha. Not saying I don't want critiques! I just know the anatomy is not fantastic so, like. no need to point those out too much.

I definitely owe you a better match in the future, Footini!!

TheCydork
Artist
338 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 2 2020, 07:08 PM
What an incredible title

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 23rd, 2020
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 444
Winner: Footini
 

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