Art Thou a God? / Zoey vs. The Great and Almighty Wyrm

Art Thou a God? / Zoey vs. The Great and Almighty Wyrm

Art Thou a God? — Zoey vs. The Great and Almighty Wyrm

by Pita

Icon for Zoey
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Crit level: No preference

Icon for The Great and Almighty Wyrm
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: the gravediggers, the great and almighty wyrm, the underground, wyrm, zoey

Critiques & Comments
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# 9   Posted: Dec 1 2020, 06:10 PM
Pita - Shifting to this new coloring style has instantly improved the look of this comic, especially because your color palettes are so strong - this may be your best looking comic to date, since House of Fragments. The background shading is a bit haphazard at times, but other times that style works very well, especially on page 6, which is a phenomenal looking page. Your framing is also really improving, I'm very happy to see you pulling the camera out a bit, doing some awesome perspective shots like the one on page 4. The character interactions are super fun and clever, Klippo being a sycophant to Wyrm made me laugh quite a bit. Wyrm is drawn so well, so serpentine and conniving but also drawn with that ego, really makes them look intimidating. Pocket is causin' trouble once again, but it's clear in the writing that something's different now, it shows their emotions more.  Even though Zoey doesn't say much in this comic, having her have this ensemble really opens up the characterization of this comic. Your bubbles and text could use some work, they're quite big - On page 2, giant text bubbles completely cover the mouth of the cave. I think if you switched to a thicker font, you could scale them down by 50% and they would still be totally readable, but wouldn't cover up so much of your art. And at times, the bubbles can be a bit bloated, if you scale them down you can break the sentences more often.

Cy - I like the lineless rendering style, and paired with Zoey's design in particular, it evokes a real sense of folklore. The colors are pleasant and remarkably clean, although it could have used at least one shading pass. The bubbling and text generally looks good, there is a bubble flow inconsistency on the final panel of page 5, and Wyrm's text is a bit difficult to read. Page 2 is really gorgeous, my favorite looking page in the comic. I think some more light would do this cave setting well, like if those blue crystals were emitting enough light to make the bottom of the cave glow, it would've livened up the background.

# 8   Posted: Dec 1 2020, 05:21 PM
First of all, LOVELY COLORS! The backgrounds and linework were really nicely stylized! The character interactions felt rly organic and natural. Klippo's attempt to drink the water was rly adorable and funny. Panel composition was very lovely and interesting to look at! Some of the panels with white background seemed a little bit empty though-
Lovely work overall! Seeing Zoey in action was pretty sweet! And Pocket's sad stare at the moon made me feel sad...which is great!

This art style really works! The way you draw teeth and animalistic characters is definitely your strong suit, it shows your passion for biology for sure
I'm a little confused as to why Zoey is looking more realistic than Klippo, since he kept his stylized proportions as opposed to Zoey. She looks adorable, mind you! But it kinda got me thinking why that specific choice. While the colors and the lack of lines look great, I think it sometimes affected your art negatively- Wyrm just came out of the water, yet he looks completely dry. And while the comic looks sweet and neat, nothing really happens. Their exchange was fun to read, but at the end of the day there didn't seem to be any consequences. Judging by the ending, something will happen in the next bit- but I think a comic strip (even if it's a stepping stone to a greater event) should have a sort of action-consequence thing going on. I know the portal closed, but the characters didn't seem too bothered by it, yanno?

Great job, both of you!

# 7   Posted: Dec 1 2020, 04:37 PM
Just a quickie comment form me.
Pita- Charming art as always, I loved the set up here and general pacing of the story. You used your opponent's character very well- tweaking just enough to make him fit into your narrative, whilst maintaining his original vibe. Big points for that!
Small crit- the shading looking a little haphazard at times, for me this relaxed style worked occasionally, but the areas where you went over the lines or into the gutter were distracting.  

Cy- I'll say it again I think this is one of your nicest most polished comics art-wise. It's really cool watching you improve and finding your footing with each comic. I liked the moody colour pallet and how you tweaked Zoey's design to fit into your world more. Plus she just looks really cute haha. The story was decent and easy to follow & I appreciate the sinsiter ending.
Crit wise, I Think the Wyrm's text, while nicely done (hooray for handwritten text!) would have been clearer and more impactful in capital letters. I also would've liked to see more of a struggle during the scene where the gang are pulling the Wyrm ashore, It looked way to easy! That scene felt like a missed opportunity to push body language and maybe pull the shot back.


# 6   Posted: Nov 27 2020, 05:49 AM
Cy: Yoooo I really liked the rendering on the first pages, they were super cool. I would have darkened some spots to give more pop to the rest of the images, a few examples would be the water at the bottom of the third panel; just make the bottom corners darker. The Wyrm's written text is legible but imo should have thicker lines, just to make it stand out a bit more. I did like how his weird written text was part of the world with people reacting to it. Speaking of which, your [CRACK] sfx was neato, it came out well! The crunch one not so much, it looked a bit muddied against the darker background; I'd have prolly just kept it white like the 1st one. The splashing around in the water scene was really good, the Wyrm had a lot of good motion to him. The decision to draw Zoey as actul chicken was an interesting one, I don't hate it at all, but I worry it have cost some measure of expressiveness and 'humanity', an example being where she's tugging on the rope I can't make out much strain. With regards to writing the story on the fly and the pacing I can see points where you could have skipped entire panels out and not lost any cohesion. Page 4 has the first or the second image; either could have been cut and it'd have been fine. You could have merged the dialogue the 4th panel into the 5th panel of that same page and dropped the entire 4th panel. Doing both of those would have freed up somethin like a third of that page for you to continue the story, or just have less work to do. As with your previous works I really liked your super crisp line quality, it's really good, so yeah gj keeping that up. Nice work!

Pita: aaaaAAAAAA SQUIGGUMS She's with Zoey's lil' gang! I love it ;_; It's so cool to see where you took her and to see her work with others. She looks so cute in your style. Seriously I love this and I can only hope to see her return in one of your comics. :3 Okay gushing aside, onto the comic~ I really liked your sketchy backgrounds throughout, they were super effective and evocative. I typed out a small list of ones that stood out, but then I realised I was actually listing most of them, haha. The one of note that stuck with me was Squigs and Zoey by the door on page 5 as he flees through the doorway. The writing was really good, though the first page suffered from some bloat in Squiggums description of the water decay and her going to get help, I think that could have been trimmed back. Incidentally I love that it's a different story, like an alternate timeline of Squiggums once again facing the Wrym, I thought that was pretty cool! The pocket dimension fight between Pockets and the Wyrm was super cool and that page with the Wyrm coming face to face with Pocket's 'true form' (I think?) was amazing. The bit where the gang just drop a towel over the Wyrms head to stop his petrification eye cracked me up. Pita you're a great storyteller and this comic is bursting with charm. Amazing!

# 5   Posted: Nov 24 2020, 04:34 AM
Submitted. I unfortunately fell into a depressive episode like a day after accepting this battle, so pretty early on I knew the rendering style I’d picked wasn’t sustainable and switched to a simpler one from page 3 onwards. I also essentially wrote the story on the fly since I just pushed myself to work whenever I could and soldier onwards with all the time I’d wasted. As a result I feel like the pacing is pretty off and I’m not super happy with the story. But visually I’m pretty proud of myself and I’d be interested to hear people’s thoughts on the new style/s I tried out here!

Thanks for battling me Pita! I hope we can fight again when I can bring my A-game, and I’m really excited to see your half!

# 4   Posted: Nov 13 2020, 10:20 AM
Zoey will take on a god with the power of FRIENDSHIP!

Think Tank
# 3   Posted: Nov 7 2020, 07:04 AM
Extension, activate!

We were both having a slow start, may we have a little mercy.

# 2   Posted: Nov 2 2020, 07:13 PM
Camel if I let you down I'm So Sorry

# 1   Posted: Oct 31 2020, 12:49 AM
Excited for this one!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
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