Tag Team Tournament 2020, Round 1 / Dairyu and Croi Ulari vs. Ancelin and Gwen & Regi

Tag Team Tournament 2020, Round 1 / Dairyu and Croi Ulari vs. Ancelin and Gwen & Regi

Tag Team Tournament 2020, Round 1 — Dairyu and Croi Ulari vs. Ancelin and Gwen & Regi

Icon for DairyuIcon for Croi Ulari47.8%
510 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: regi, ancelin, croi ulari, dairyu, gwen


by Bobo and Gregly

Icon for AncelinIcon for Gwen & Regi52.2%
556 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
214 comments
# 14   Posted: Oct 26 2020, 07:35 AM
This is such a feel-good match up!

SnowBat -The thick outlines and bright colors really help set the mood for your comic. I wasn't able to join the junkcast last night so I am not aware of any crits that came up with it but I am not sure if I dig the empty gray space that much in this format.  Maybe black would've worked better. Overall, I had no trouble following the panels and speech bubbles and that's a good thing. Your comic is such a nice relaxing read and drawn in such adorable style!

BoGreg - I love that your side followed up on the events of Armageddon and it's such a treat seeing Ancelin display her abilities and resourcefulness. I'd love to see her in more fights and she gives me the magical girl vibe without heavily relying on magic and I love it. I wish we've seen more of Gwen and Regi though as they didn't do much here.  Dairyu and Croi's arrival had  me raising my eyebrows at first as for their motivations and then BAM, it all got explained in the end. Both sides had valid yet conflicting  points  and it's nice that they've come to an understanding in the end despite their differences.

Both comics gave us pretty neat  life lessons as if  both teams talked about it beforehand. It's a nice coincidence!

Happy November 30th! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
318 comments
# 13   Posted: Oct 25 2020, 09:04 PM
A Flying Creature in a Fluffy White Environment: This was cute! I've got nothing to complain about with the writing, it's very competent. I do think though that having all this negative space between the panels is shooting yourself in the foot. I feel less like I'm directly observing this situation than I'm receiving occasional vignettes. The tiny, isolated panels feel cramped and restrict our image for no real benefit.

can't think of a good joke sorry: This was a super fun comic! It's a good confrontation that makes good use of some tried and tested tropes. I was definitely expecting the first couple of pages to pay off in the rest of the comic, so I was disappointed that Gwen and Regi don't actually do anything, but the "don't rip the clothing" joke was adequate to assuage me. A real criticism I have is that, while the characters are very carefully rendered - so much that my eye is constantly drawn to Regi's shoulders in place of anything else in the scene - the background is not, and it's kind of weird you have all this attention to the characters while they stand in a literally featureless white room. This is a cool story beat for Ancelin and I'd love to see it continued!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
473 comments
# 12   Posted: Oct 25 2020, 08:17 PM
SnowBat:
I love the art style in this and it's overall really cute. The story was really good and enjoyed it. This looks like a webtoon style format comic so let me talk a bit about stuff to think about for future attempts.
You will want more space inbetween your panels, one of the interesting things about the format is the illusion of time between moments you can provide by having negative space between panels. Try having more space between the panels so that each panel can have more room to breath and we can take some more time to sit on the emotions of characters in dramatic panels or take in the setting in establishing shots. Just for individual pages increase the overall height of them.

Also you should increase the width of individual panels, the smallest size a panel in webtoon style should be a third of the width of the page. A lot of your panels here are smaller than that and they feel cramped. You can also have more panels full width of the page and for establishing shots they should be to help them feel bigger. For layout ideas and good ideas on how to size panels for webscroll check out Pyras' webscroll stuff, he's one of the best I have seen when it comes to that layout. I would also recommend Metaphorical Her on webtoons for how it plays with the layout of the webscroll as well. You should definitely try out that layout style more.

Bobegly: So this seems to be a me thing but I don't like the this simplified style. While others pointed out the clashing of colors that wasn't really what bothered me about it. I think the core issue is that it's simplified but besides the faces it is very stiff. Like page 13 Dairyu's stance, it looks more like someone posing with props than an actual stance. Quickly looking up dual sword stances and most of them also  Also Ancelins slash through the demon looks like she's just waving the sword around only using her arm, an actual attack would use most of the upper body with a firm lower body stance. With such a simplified style I would like to see more exaggeration and dynamics in the gestures. Also sometimes Croi has 4 fingers and other times he has 3, like on page 16 it switches back and forth both times.

Also others pointed out the writing crits i had, but I do think Croi turning it on Ancelin pointing how how she ran away from void city. Even with the crits other pointed out I do overall like the story of this comic and interested to see how you two will work in future comics together.

Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 11   Posted: Oct 23 2020, 02:27 PM
@Putrid: Now I can't get the idea out of my head that my coloring was just me wrapping latex around all of Gregly's lineart and I love it XD

Thanks for all the crits, everyone! I'm not sure how Gregly and I will be splitting up the work if we get to round 2, but I'll definitely try to make our styles mesh a little more cleanly.

PutridVodka
Artist
58 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 21 2020, 04:36 PM
Ohh these were really good! Both very cute, left me feeling good!

Snowy + Bat:
It all looked very smooth, and the colors were very very nice! Pouty Regi was very adorable, and Dairyu's serene expression I really liked! Gwen learning not to depend on her magic and potions all the time is a very very nice touch, too! Croi's scene with his kid was very cute, too. The ending got me very curious as to what will happen next

My bit of critique here tho is that we already saw this "don't overprotect Gwen" in the Jaja vs Gwen and Regi comic, so seeing it being echoed here felt a little unnecessary. The execution and scenes were great! But the plot itself felt like somewhat of an repeat.
 Also the pages felt a little "too open", I like the long page format mind you! but it felt like there was a lot of empty space unused. All in all, it didn't deter me from enjoying your comic tho, nice job!

Bobo + Gregly:
AHH THIS WAS SO CUTE. Anacelin's little fashion makeover made me all warm and fuzzy! The character interactions were very sweet and natural! It was very nice to see Hana living with Anacelin too. It was such a fun and nice read, was very intrigued by Croi calling Anacelin out on fleeing the city and leaving everyone else that is not "her people" to their own devices in arma.
Crit time! Sometimes Gregly's 2D style didn't merge well with Bobo's volume-heavy rendering. A lot of the art looked very very good, but whenever something had too much volume, it kinda crashed with the heavy 2D lines. Some things looked way too shiny, like everything was latex and it kinda threw me off a little bit.
But that's pretty much my only nitpick, it was such an enjoyable battle!

Great job everyone!

justarhymes
Web Dev
651 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 20 2020, 11:54 AM
These are both very cute, btw. Possibly the most fitting matchup in R1.

Snowbat: One area I want to point out is the use of space. There's a ton of empty and uneven space because of the way the comic is laid out. It really stood out to me while reading this, as my eye kept getting drawn to big open areas of space. The flow was still nice, but it was in spite of the layout in some cases. I also found myself not fully getting what was happening in some areas, but I'm not sure if that's just on me not being familiar with current things on void or not.

Bobegly: There's a few instances of the colors not really going with the line art, but overall I do find the art to be pretty strong and quite vibrant. Storywise, it felt like 2 comics made into one, and it was a little jarring to have such a tone shift around the halfway point. I went through the first half just thinking the plot was "Ancelin makes people try on clothes", and tbh, I kind of liked that. Then all this stuff I didn't quite get dropped in seemingly out of nowhere. This isn't really a bad thing, but, I think either the first part needed to be shorter, or there needed to be some sort of transition.

Pocketmouse
Artist
101 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 10:19 PM
Bat/snowy
I really enjoyed seeing a webtoon style comic! This made me smile a lot while reading. In future, I'd suggest to be careful that it's easy to tell who is saying what. Its very tricky to do, but will help your readers not to miss any of your lovely characters nuances. Overall your styles both meshed well and you did a great job! Super comic!

Bobo/greg
I love how much of Greglys style we see in the art here. Gregly your art is so saturday-morning-cartoon it always makes me feel happy and nostalgic. I'd be interested to see you switch up your roles in future collabs to see what other effects you can achieve by doing so. Aneclin is a real gem of a character, and I'd like to see her outside of her comfort zone more. When Gwen doesn't want to wear the hat was a lovely moment, and seeing Aneclin handle interpersonals is what I wants to see more of. Can Gwen and Regi hring her out of her opalescent shell?! I hope to get to see more :)

TheCydork
Artist
338 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 06:46 AM
Bat/Snowy - This. Was. So. Cute T.T Visually this was great, I feel like these colours match the cutesy style very well! All the characters were stylised very nicely and the fucking nose boop... I’m crying. Story-wise I loved this direction of teaching Gwen to be physically capable and Regi being sat down and told why being overprotective is bad. I know they aren’t your characters, but I’m interested to see where they would go from here!

While it’s cool that a different format is being tried out here, when I read this I just wondered what exactly it was bringing to the table? I didn’t quite get the cramped feeling Rursus did, but I agree the format made things slightly disorientating. Many of the panels were very closeup (page 4 was pretty much all headshots/waist ups), and I felt almost like the format was chosen to try and hide that? I do agree the pacing was really nice though, very chill vibes.

Bobo/Gregly - The first thing I noticed was the tasty af rendering on Regi. I love being able to see the 3D shape of his shoulder bits, and he’s so nice and shiny! I enjoyed the new outfits too, particularly Hana and Gwen’s. That fight scene on page 12 was done really well, the panelling and colours made the action pop. Also tiny detail here but Hana’s tail looks so fluffy and soft and it’s great.

Rursus took the words out of my mouth again wrt visual crit, so I won’t bother with that. I know we haven’t seen much of Croi yet but his entrance seemed pretty standard villain and not personally /Croi/. Something that jumped out to me was his unleashing of a demon directly after Ancelin has loudly introduced her holy magic infused ensemble. It’s a dumb move from a guy who’s supposed to be a calculating mob boss, which kinda took me out of things. The ending seemed very in line with his character though and I enjoyed his stylisation, the angular look was very cool.

Rursus
Artist
10 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 12:54 AM
Wow, these are both good for different reasons! This is gonna be a difficult one. Which is a virtue!

Snowy + Heaven: The paneling is so pleasant. It really moves the eyes so clearly and aware of the scrolling. It's so endearing, and the energy/pace really feels like the downtime after a big fight, so the focus is growth in training and character. The witchy vs survive is a very exact moment when I felt the character really evaluate where they're at. Gwen saying "Learn?" That's such a correct character-driven response. The scene with kissing the wound, how dare you make me feel? It's an sweet mixture of hardening up and tenderness of the characters, very comics-and-coffee speed throughout. The backgrounds and grey color on the page were on the right track, but because the bg color changes to reflect mood, and there's sometimes no bg elements drawn, it can be a little disorienting to place where we're at. The panels/lettering being so tight together can at times feel a bit claustrophobic. And it seems like everyone has the same sweet disposition, which makes everyone's demeanor be towards the tender side, without much contrast to push the story forward.

Bobo + Gregly: What a quick and efficient way to set time and setting. Regi's rendering having the blue on the edges really makes him pop nicely as metallic. However, on hair and organic characters it has the opposite effect. The inlaid panels were a good call, and the lettering could use a little tightening, but it's so consistent with the rest of the comic's look, so it keeps me in the world you're painting. The use of flashback match-cuts, contrasting personalities, and action sequences (with different colored backgrounds) are so fun and clear to follow. Bringing up the tech, the "could've used it during armageddon" was a sharp way for the characters to test each other's values (and they both have very distinct word pools in their dialogue). I can see a real sense of direction with your story, but I do feel Gwen and Regi were quite literally told to take a backseat, and the last shot highlights that, which considering the change of clothes, thought they'd get a little something more to do in their new threads.

Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 18 2020, 11:57 PM
I can't wait to read your side! Gregly and I had a ton of fun.

We co-wrote the script, Gregly did thumbs (except for pages 11-13), pencils, inks, flats on a few pages, and some finishing touches, while I did all the rest of the coloring!

Heavenbat
Artist
145 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 18 2020, 11:37 PM
Submitted!! I just wanna say it was such an honor getting to work with such well-established characters, like, dang.

As for a more thorough breakdown of how we handled this! I wrote the script and the dialogue, Snowy did the thumbs and inks, and then I did colors!

Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 7 2020, 09:14 AM
oh no

SnowyMoth
Artist
58 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 7 2020, 12:14 AM
The question you should really be asking is if I swore upon Oedon for this rematch though... ; )

Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 4 2020, 12:18 AM
I SWEAR UPON OEDON I THAT GOING UP AGAINST SNOWY TWICE IN A ROW WAS A LUCKY STRIKE AND NOT SOMETHING I DID ON PURPOSE

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Oct 26th, 2020
Votes Cast: 26
Page Views: 597
Winner: Bobo and Gregly
 

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