The Demon Street Job / Rip Van Winkle vs. Yoon & Yun

The Demon Street Job / Rip Van Winkle vs. Yoon & Yun

The Demon Street Job — Rip Van Winkle vs. Yoon & Yun

by Monday

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Rip Van Winkle50%
368 points
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Crit level: No preference

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Yoon & Yun50%
368 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: food court, fun, juno black, rip van winkle, setpieces, train, yoon, yun

Critiques & Comments
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# 15   Posted: Oct 18 2020, 08:47 PM
These were both really good for one week comics!! I will say both kind of confused me, but it felt more intentional in Monday's.

Monday- I love the first page with the reds. It's just so atmospheric! I also like the use of heavy blacks on your pages!

Cro- I really liked your using different jokes for the repeated time loops. It was a fun comic to read!

# 14   Posted: Oct 17 2020, 12:29 AM

# 13   Posted: Oct 16 2020, 06:50 AM
Dang I had to look twice to check if this comic was indeed only done in one week?  Amazing frikkin job both of you!

Art-wise Monday had the edge - Always loved your style with opaque inks that looks painterly somehow. Definitely an art goal and inspiration of mine.  I did get lost in the story though and was confused for most of it as what people already mentioned

Story-wise , I like Reecer's  - The looping timelines were clearly shown and I like the resolution at the end.

Great battle overall. Well done to you both!

# 12   Posted: Oct 15 2020, 01:41 AM
To clarify: it is definitely Demon Possession related and not an attack on the character.  [I'm breaking my own rules by saying this but I'm realizing there's a lot of gaps where I left it up to reader interpretation- This is not one of them :0c . Thanks for the crit, Cy ! ]

# 11   Posted: Oct 15 2020, 12:33 AM
I kinda struggled to write a comment for this battle, because I had similar issues of clarity on both sides and had to organise my thoughts more than usual. However, these were still great effort for one week!

Monday - Yours was definitely more visually polished. The first page was gorgeous, the palette is lovely and you’re very good at rendering clouds. The story starts with an intriguing premise, but the explanation of the greed demon is very vague and after page 10 I completely lost the plot. Visually things are rather muddled too which doesn’t help. Also ngl making Yun a rapist who roofies Rip rubbed me the wrong way. I know she’s a new character so there isn’t much to read up on, but it’s really out of left field compared to what little we have seen. Maybe this is something explained by the Greed demon business but, as said earlier, the story really wasn’t clear enough to tell.

Cro - Your story was tighter and I’d say overall was clearer, but I also found myself lost due to the lack of establishing shots and barebones background. It was hard to tell where the characters were positioned sometimes, without the dialogue I’d have little clue whether they were on top or inside the train. I think a motion blur effect (I’m not sure which program you’re using, but on photoshop it’s under filters) would have indicated being inside a moving vehicle better than the handdrawn lines you went with. I’m also confused as to why Rip stabbed himself at the end of page 11 when he’d achieved his goal of killing Yoon? I enjoyed the jokes in this a lot though, especially the meta one about the train departing very very quickly, and the panel breaking with the speed!

# 10   Posted: Oct 14 2020, 06:24 PM
Voted! Altogether I agree with Footini's comments in particular.

# 9   Posted: Oct 14 2020, 03:15 PM
Monday: I love your art so much. That is never gonna change. And it serves your character like a glove. It is so nice to have your slightly trippy, very shotgun approach to story telling on the site again. At times, it can get a bit to messy, and not everything your cramming into the narrative fits, it causes a bit of a confusing tone shift at times. But really strong showing for a one weeker.

Cro: This was a lot stronger then your last. Your movement is less stiff, and I think the repeating loop gimmick of Rip was used to tell a at times very amusing story. Your little offhand, off beat jokes are well delivered this time around. Very good use of your opponents character. Ending gave me a right laugh. This is the kind of stuff I wanna see. And as a oneweeker to!

# 8   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 12:52 PM
MONDAY - LOOOOVE the dark and moody vibe your inks provide, it definitely sets a grim mood, which I think fits Rip's death-related abilities really nicely! The peek to their past was really dark and absolutely loved it! Like everyone else though, I got a little confused as to what was happening a few times- while the art still looked gorgeous, I found myself scratching my head a bit

REECER - This was so much fun to read! Every single page I was left wondering how Rip would die this time, it left me itching for more shenaningans between these two! Seeing how the backgrounds character reacted to things happening around them was such a delight, too! And the way Yoon's friend tackled Rip had me laughing so hard. AND THE KID CRYING IN THE BACKGROUNDDD. This was so so good!

Good stuff, both of you!

# 7   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 02:09 AM
Oh dear RIP is quite an enigma I should work on this and probably introduce ideas in a more linear fashion maybe :0c !  

# 6   Posted: Oct 11 2020, 11:58 PM
MONDAY- I'll have to second and third the muddling issue with your side. Art wise, your penchant for 'hiding' your character elements into your backgrounds and effects seems to have ramped up here. Which is a shame because I think some great details you put effort in are being overlooked or lost to black on black with little distinction. You always go for big story and and themes, but I'm not gonna lie, maybe my brain is too smooth for your flavor of comic. I always come away with alotta question marks upon first and second read.

REECER- While your art quality did take a dip, the story was what kept me turning pages. I found myself understanding Rip's concept and motivation more in your comic than from the artist themselves XD I'm also a sucker for 'full circle' moments where we revisit the first page at the last page. Also lol at SLAM + reverb XD Your humor always makes me snort

# 5   Posted: Oct 11 2020, 12:38 PM
There's a lot going on in these comics but I will soldier on with these critiques.
This much content in a week from both is impressive.  Do y'all sleep?

Quality: Your art is as expressive and stylish as always.  Though for several of the images they started to get muddled to the point it was hard to see what i'm looking at but your skill with keeping the characters' silouhettes somewhat easy to read with good use of the monochrome colors help see what was going on.
Creativity: Again, your style is really what sells the art here. And just your general way of telling the story in an unconventional way with flashbacks and the pretty offbeat tone is what kept me interested.
Entertainment: I felt that the dialogue here comes off as to wordy.  I often had to read and re-read pages just to remember what they were saying at the start.  I get the really specific style of writing you're going for that reminds me of some light novels but while the dialogue is both oddly specific in some of the details it also feels that not really much is being said by the characters.  Generally being more concise with the writing would help alot.

Quality- Between the last comic you did and this I can tell you're pushing your visual storytelling more.
There's a better sense of movement and expressions in the characters this time around.  I'd say to keep pushing those aspects further to compliment your writing style even more
Creativity- I really like the way you showed off Rip's powers.  Just this repeating time-bendy encounter really compliments your opponent's style.  Also the +reverb sound effect was my favorite visual gag.
Entertainment- I think you're really good at this high energy action comedy type stories.  You're always able to get good humor out of any of the more typically serious characters.  And even with the constant jump backs in time this story was a breeze to follow.

# 4   Posted: Oct 9 2020, 12:02 PM
I LOVE the groundhog day vibe, Reecer! it did a good job of explaining Rip's powers to the audience

Monday: we have Questions for you on the discord  

# 3   Posted: Oct 9 2020, 12:55 AM
I’ll try to go deeper on these later on, but first impressions:

Monday: I really like the tone of your comics, but sometimes you draw a panel where I have absolutely no idea what I’m looking at. Didn’t stop me from enjoying the comic, but it does throw me out of it.

Reecer: I feel like Rip might be your ideal opponent, allowing you to go as far with your trademark slapstick as you can, and doing multiple gags, to boot. Keep pushing your expressions, I think that may be your next big level up. I really appreciate some of the establishing shots/camera angles you used here. Even if background characters and things are mostly just sketched in, it still goes a long way, and your use of perspective, like on the train platform, stood out to me. “Welp!” Haha

# 2   Posted: Oct 8 2020, 10:15 AM
I'm uploaded.

I probably undershot the page count for my health. But this would be the first few times I tried something with healthy practices [it's not bad actually]. I thank Reecer for putting in such hard work regardless.

Happy October 8th !

Happy July 21st! -Reecer6
# 1   Posted: Oct 7 2020, 11:30 PM
cw: some gore, light eye trauma

this comic's gonna look a little different, partially because i got a lot of comments about my general art skill last comic and i'm sorry to tell you if you think i would have improved drastically in two weeks, you are wrong, but mostly because i wrote a script that reeeeally overextended on my typical schedule for a one weeker. this is not a permanent thing.

and i think i've punched up this script to be fairly fun but ever since i wrote it i've been like "no THAT would've been a more cool, interesting thing to do with rip, also THAT would be, and THAT would be cool too," and today i watched a movie that had i watched a week ago i would've totally just used this battle to do a pastiche on it. well, i guess i can just do that pastiche later. unfortunately i cannot simply write five comics that are each individually too long, so i hope this is good!!!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Oct 16th, 2020
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 814
Winner: Monday and Happy July 21st! -Reecer6

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