An Unpleasant Phone Call / Amelia Fey

An Unpleasant Phone Call / Amelia Fey

An Unpleasant Phone Call — Amelia Fey

Icon for Amelia Fey
57%
Page 1

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: amelia fey, experimental, ongoing, redraw




Critiques & Comments
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Bobo
Web Dev
982 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 21 2020, 10:09 AM
I fell behind on reading comics during the drawing period of my last two comics (which were back-to-back haha), but I wanted to leave my two cents here:

1. Art-wise, I don't have any major gripes. Your linework is clean and consistent. Maybe vary line widths a bit more, especially with background elements. There's also a tangent between Amelia's hair and the background on the fifth panel, so watch out for that kinda thing in the future. I like that you varied your comic with close-ups, but would have also liked a long shot or two in there. Even just one wide shot to establish Amelia's environment would have been cool.

2. Writing-wise, I feel like my experience with this comic is different from most people's because I know some backstory that most people wouldn't about Amelia. I think this is a great intro to the next part of her story where you explore why this person didn't inform Amelia of her sister's death. It might have worked better as part of a longer comic rather than a standalone page, however; the mystery isn't strong enough on its own to keep people waiting for the next installment. You do a lot of really short comics, and for BBs where you have as much time as you need, I'd like to see some longer form stuff from you.

I'm glad I had time to come back and check this out! I want to know more about Amelia through future comics, and I hope the crit was helpful!

Rivana
Artist
214 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 5 2020, 08:19 AM
I am definitely seeing some improvements here with your linework and art overall. Color me intrigued with what happens next on Amelia's story. Glad you're taking steps towards improvement.

InvaderDiz
Artist
24 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 3 2020, 09:27 AM
I definitely see where you’re coming from Flytee. I’ll just say that I have a reason for why Amelia exists the way she does, I just haven’t explored it in comics yet, and honestly I don’t know when I will get to it. The easy answer that doesn’t give too much away is that part of Amelia’s fame is the fact that she’s a ghost who exists so much in the corporeal world. She’s an extremely rare case.

Flytee
Artist
167 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 3 2020, 06:04 AM
Jeez...I can already feel the awkwardness and tension from the funeral. This comic really made me see the potential in Amelia and the relationship dynamics around her.
I think your comic layouts and use of space are improving as well, I also like how often you changed up the angles. Nice work, this is a solid page imo!
 _

Alright i'm about to go off on a bit of a weird nitpicky rant about Ghosts. Make of it what you will! xD

Spoiler: show
So, when I read your comics, I often think "why is Amelia a ghost?" it really urks me how she's capable of interacting with physical objects, clothing and people, she even holds down a job! For all intensive purposes, she exists in the world as a normal woman. So why make her a ghost? Why not an immortal creature instead?

The implications of Amelia's existence are kinda insane when you think about it. She's an ageless, idealised version of herself, who can't be harmed by conventional means. I'm surprised people aren't offing themselves or trying to find some means of achieving this state.
Are there other ghosts like Amelia? Or is she special? Have I missed something here?? If you have a story arc planned that makes things clearer, then I'm extremely excited to hear it.

Honestly, I think a lot of my questions come from a lack of established rules and limitations for her as a ghost. Maybe something to mull over.



Fluffsamasprime
Artist
78 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 2 2020, 12:22 PM
I'm curious to see what the mans relationship to her is. Is he a brother, a nephew?
I like that you went without color for this really bringing out the somberness of the phone call

TheCydork
Artist
339 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 30 2020, 09:49 AM
Good to see you experimenting and putting out BBs! You should try pulling the camera back more though, as all the shots are still pretty close up. There was no establishing shot of either character as well and so on my first read I was confused as to how many were actually talking. This also doesn’t give much information since neither character is known and the dialogue is very vague. We know this woman is Amelia’s sister but don’t know what her relation is to the man and why it’s important we know she’s “nobody” to him.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
473 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 11:26 PM
It's good you're practicing panel layouts. I feel like this is a good amount of panels per page and moves the story along at a much better pace than your usual stuff. As for the individual panels i feel like you can vary up your compositions and angles more. all the shots of the characters are straight on with them level to the viewpoint, you should experiment with some more angles where we're either looking up at the character or looking down at them. study some scenes from movies or comics you like and notice the varying camera angles and how the people aren't always shot directly  at level with the camera.

InvaderDiz
Artist
24 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 08:51 AM
I know this is only one page, but it was an exercise in panel layout. This originated as a three page scene. I wanted to see if I couldn’t convey it better.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Oct 5th, 2020
Votes Cast: 19
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