working stiffs / 9 to 5 vs. David Birch

working stiffs / 9 to 5 vs. David Birch

working stiffs — 9 to 5 vs. David Birch

Icon for 9 to 557.9%
445 points
Page 1

Crit level: No preference


by Orion

Icon for David Birch42.1%
324 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: David Birch




Critiques & Comments
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CandycornRhino
Artist
101 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 30 2020, 02:22 AM
Haha I'm in danger.

Fred: Still think its rediculous you 3d modeled EVERYTHING. But yeah I can agree, everything looks kinda stiff. 3D is kinda limited unless you really know how to work camera perspective angling and model stretching and shit. Story wise, simple and clean, and lmfao the ending.

Orion: Aww I would've loved to see this finished, the premise is p.wholesome and cool. Just two dudes playing a card game. But yea, as others said, know your limits :V

GOOD JOB YOU BEANS.

Rikun
Artist
103 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 28 2020, 05:07 PM
Fred: I have to admit I was initially skeptical about the pure 3D look, but it won me over at the end; your models were surprisingly expressive for me. I thought the story was cute and the punchline sealed the deal!

Orion: The Brick cameo is much appreciated, but like what everyone else has been saying I think you might've stretched yourself too thin on this one. The ambition was admirable but now I think you have a better idea as to how much you can do in a certain amount of time. Better luck in your next battle.

Rivana
Artist
214 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 28 2020, 04:48 PM
Fred - Short and sweet! I got a good laugh at this and the style is so unique and refreshing. I can't wait to see what David does with this money if Orion chooses this to be David's canon XD

Orion -  Really sorry you didn't get to finish your side ! But at least you can take this as a learning experience for the next one so keep your head up! I am not sure what  the rules of the game Walls of Jericho are but I really like how you drew 9-5 in page 2 mid panel.  

Brobin_Dragon
Artist
46 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 27 2020, 03:59 PM
FRED - Surprised by the 3D models at first, but works! :) I haven't seen this 'style' on entervoid yet.
ORION- I like the two panels on page 2, but the rest is very scratchy and I ended up just skimming through the comic.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
473 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 26 2020, 10:51 PM
Fred: this is really interesting that you're doing 3d stuff for this, i will agree with Cy that it does feel a bit stiff but not sure how you can change that with since i now nothing about the modeling medium. The story and punchline at the end was fantastic though.

Orion: cute idea but you overloaded yourself and should focus more on steady consistently rather than just doing a bunch of 1 days a month, try to instead do some bigger deadlines but consistently turning in quality for them. like more 3-4 week projects consistently getting in 8-10 finished pages for them.

Gregly
Artist
140 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 25 2020, 05:09 PM
Fred- this is so cool! 3d is hard but i like the environment you set up here and the sharp outlines on the characters. I thought the coffee cup disappeared but then i saw 925 puts that prop down and then it stays there for the rest. Good stuff. The only thing I can critique is the angle of the hand in the second to last panel where it's foreshortened looks odd and draws the eye, but you can see what the fingers are doing after looking at it a bit. Also in the 'dreadfully undercompensated' panel, david looks pretty big but that may just be your camera angle. That panel also gives us a good look at the scene background which has just the right amount of detail so the characters are in focus. Loveit

Orion- cute story-- if you could have cleaned them all up to pg2 quality at least it woulda been better. I'm not sure if it needed the in-game-universe type scene and could have just been the card game, if that makes sense. The story brought up memories of just learning pokemon cards in college, and doing magic the gathering wrong every time. ah the memories.

TheCydork
Artist
339 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 24 2020, 11:30 PM
Fred - Wow, wild that you made actual 3D models for this. It must have been a lot of work, so kudos for that. While I commend your experimentation, I don’t think using models did anything for this comic though. The characters’ movements are stiff and their expressions limited, the environment looks bare and artificial. I think this is because there’s no texturing? There clearly WAS detailwork like the pipes, but with everything being so smooth it didn’t quite work, and the placement seemed kind of random which made it difficult to determine the environment. Is David in a garage? An indoor scrapyard? An abandoned warehouse? Then the story is a simple back and forth conversation. I’m left kind of bored because neither the models or the environment are particularly interesting to look at. I think some colour would have benefitted, because one of the strengths of your comics imo is how vibrantly coloured they are. The premise here was sweet though, and the punchline’s pretty good.

Orion - This isn’t complete enough for me to comment on, sorry. Definitely don’t take on so many comics next time.

SnowyMoth
Artist
58 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 24 2020, 09:44 PM
Fred: I liked the modeling you did for this, and I liked the punchline at the end. I also enjoyed the variety of shots and angles you used for this!

Orion: There isn't a lot I can comment on since it's so unfinished, but it's a cute idea for a story, and I liked what you had for the second page.

PutridVodka
Artist
60 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 24 2020, 03:16 PM
Fred:
Really loved to see 3D models used like this for a comic! the panels looked very cinematic, I could almost see them moving!
Loved David's last line, had me chuckling for a bit lmaoo

Orion:
Aaah it's a shame you weren't able to finish. What you managed to do was very enjoyable tho! The background in the second page is so nice! It's a very wholesome comic all around

Orion
Artist
217 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 23 2020, 12:02 AM
A bit disappointed in myself on this one.

Overextended myself elsewhere and ended up with little to show.

Posted what I have and WILL COME BACK WITH AVENGEANCE once I'm done with my 24 hr comics.

Sorry Devil, You got a good boy and I can't wait to read the other comics.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Oct 30th, 2020
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 398
Winner: Fred v2.0.1
 

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