Amuse-bouche / Remy Naufrage vs. Cecil Gagnon

Amuse-bouche / Remy Naufrage vs. Cecil Gagnon

Amuse-bouche — Remy Naufrage vs. Cecil Gagnon

Icon for Remy Naufrage50.1%
931 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: kozispoon


Icon for Cecil Gagnon49.9%
929 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: cecil gagnon, ooh boy, remy naufrage, scar match




Critiques & Comments
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E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 30   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 07:32 PM
Kozispoon:

A brief critique. It's well done, you've managed a nice set of panels and a few interesting angles. Your story is excellent and the twist of how Remy turns it on Cecil is terrific. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre dinner is always a great inspiration to work from and it's a terrific comic.

However, your dinner scene was somewhat sanitary. You cut the panels straight down the middle and there's a lot of empty space when we could have had a wider shot of the room or perhaps more intriguing layout and setup. While the first person perspective works, it'd have been far more effective to give us a mirror or large window, some reflective surface for us to utilize so Cecil could have seen himself as he was better. Swapping back to a third person perspective to show us the table in a very flat angle is sabotaging the scene and the idea you're attempting to work with. To elaborate on that point, not showing his gorey face but still showing his mouth torn up and bloodied on the plate from his point of view would have been effective.

That's my main critique. You could have utilized a few more highlights in some spots, but overall, it's a terrific comic as usual. Great work.


Putridvodka:

This was a nice little comic and overall it was a pleasant read. The characters are very nice looking and you have a good art style. You're doing a nice job with your dialogue and the character interaction is pretty well done. I think you've got a pretty solid handle on Remy and Cecil is characterized well for being a detached maniac. The method to the scar as well as the plot is creative and the story is an interesting premise to work from. I think on the whole you're in a good position to start growing and developing greater techniques for yourself because you have a great foundation.

Having your ink-work take a minimal approach is fine, but the problem comes more along in the flatness of everything. With the right style, that can work, but utilizing very thin lines with the shading style you're working with is producing something that's very flat. Working with those thin lines like that demands either stronger rendering or stronger shading, if you choose to not utilize more intense inking. Consider looking at the inspirations that have brought you to this point in your style and try to determine what makes it work. I believe I know what you want out of it, but it's not there yet.

With regards to the backgrounds you're working with is coming across too flat. I'm not sure if that's Clip Studio you're working with or if it's a 3D modeling program, but you should learn to inject more life within your cityscapes. Despite the middle of nowhere location you're taking the story, you're hiding much of it away when utilizing an American Southwest desert would have been an excellent opportunity for you to stretch your background and environmental muscles. It's very bland otherwise and is heavily relying on your colors. This is most noticeably on display page 12 onward. Your desert is just a clean gradient, instead of a vibrant setting on display. If I could recommend something to look at for some inspiration, I would look at RASL by Jeff Smith. You need to communicate the illusion of the location.

This is where both story and art merge in comics, because while you're trying to approach the story with a very palpable sense of a thriller in the style of The Vanishing, we should be treated to better background work to appreciate it the tone of the story. The change in landscape and scenery would be an excellent way to give us a sense of distance and isolation. As it is, it's left wanting.

Following up more on the story, I can accept there's some sort of magic or a stimulant going on in Cecil's bloodstream, and while it doesn't explain why Remy felt it instead, I can recognize a hand wave to try and facilitate the narrative, that's fine. I actually wish that you had saved that part where he injected himself with that on the car ride, explaining the method to it would have made it that much more interesting.

For me, execution is more of an issue as I believe pages 1 – 4 are unnecessary for the story as a whole. Seeing Cecil's day to day isn't really necessary and the first encounter with Remy isn't needed to show that he's following him, especially since he pounces on him at their second meeting. He already says that he's been stalking him in the car ride, so those four pages become ultimately superfluous to the story in general when we could have started on from Remy's point of view to make the attack more surprising.

Also, from a logical standpoint, wouldn't burying the box just suffocate Remy before it burnt him? The oxygen would all be sucked up by the fire in a short order and he would just be buried alive and die from the lack of oxygen. There's no build up and the fire won't just spread instantly without gasoline or lighter fluid of some kind. Pouring lighter fluid would have made a good vehicle for extra interaction between the two of them, since by the time we see a tiny flame, it's not really going to be causing all that much heat.

In due time, I imagine you will improve to be much stronger from a visual and narrative point. It was a job well done all around. Keep on growing, you're doing great.

Brentony
Artist
51 comments
# 29   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 06:20 PM
I’m emerging from the ether just to say: Wowowowowowowow! What a killer set of comics! I don’t have anything constructive to say but great (read: horrible, you both made me so UNCOMFORTABLE) work you two!!

(Also zomg a Melchom cameo? I’m a fan

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
63 comments
# 28   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 10:57 AM
Even though I've read this battle over at least five times, watching the scores go back and forth has had me back on the edge of my seat!

Bobo
Web Dev
972 comments
# 27   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 08:33 AM
Spoiler: Kozi • show
FUCK YOU FOR MAKING MY LIPS HURT BY PROXY. That body horror element was so difficult to read haha. Which I'm sure is the whole point, so congrats on a job well done!

I literally have nothing you could improve on here. It's a perfect comic. Except maybe on the last page, I think the panel where Cecil tries to say he's hungry is supposed to come before the one where Remy casts the spell to give him the magical jaw, but because of how tall the panels were on my screen, I definitely didn't read it in that order by default. But that didn't take away from my enjoyment in the least.

I love the cameos, I love the subtle hint why RemLu is reading that book by showing Remy's shadow, I love the manic expressions when Remy emerges to capture Cecil, so happy to finally have a friend of his own. I'm disappointed it wasn't actually Lu because that bitch needs to die and leave Remy alone (except not because her corruption of him is such a great part of his story). I love seeing the dynamic between those two. This comic highlighted once again the way she controls him and coerces him into doing more malicious things than he would do if left to his own devices. This whole comic was a masterpiece and I think it's a perfect continuation of his story so far! I hope we get to see more soon because I love this character so damn much!

Spoiler: Putrid • show
I love how silent your comic starts, especially after reading Kozi's comic, which is much chattier throughout. It really shows the difference between these two characters' personalities. There's also something so cinematic about this comic; it looks like it could all be stills from an animated movie. I'm inclined to say that your backgrounds feel sparse, but it fits your theme too well and I can only suspect that it was intentional. Cecil is isolated within his own head, and he has to isolate his victims to capture them, so the isolating nature of the empty streets and blurred out passersby is excellent. The theme of isolation works even better with the way Cecil manages to hurt Remy; he has to isolate him from anyone he could redirect his injuries to.

I love Cecil's dedication to his craft. Stalking Remy to make sure he knew how his powers worked, testing his drugs on himself (or are they just recreational drugs he's repurposed?) building up a resistance to the drug?, setting up the pit he buried Remy in beforehand, and enduring the injuries he knew Remy would cause him before he could get away... it all shows the face of someone who enjoys what they do, which is chilling when what they do is kill and eat people XD

I think my one disappointment with the comic is that we didn't see how Remy escaped, and I'm still trying to decide whether we needed to or not. The interesting thing is that Cecil managed to overcome all of Remy's powers to get him in that sticky situation, and it's clear from the context that he managed to get his hands unwrapped in time to cast a spell to save himself. So I guess we didn't need to see him escape per se, but I would have liked to see how close he came to dying before managing to get out. A little bit of body horror would have gone a long way here.

At the end of the day, that one critique is nothing compared to how nice this comic was as a whole. You nailed the writing, the atmosphere, and the characters' personalities. You managed to create a theme throughout the comic that held up very strongly throughout. And I love how Remy's scar was mental as well as physical! I want to see more of your stuff so badly!!!

Rivana
Artist
191 comments
# 26   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 07:33 AM
Everything that needed to be said and more were already mentioned in the junk cast actually. :)

But man, what a battle and the theme really fits October. Both comics gave me a slasher fic vibe which I love. Kozi's more in your face with riveting visuals, while Putrid's more for the psychological games. You can't go wrong with either. I wouldn't be surprised if this becomes a top contender for Battle of the Year.

Kozi - I dont know what to say. Your art is gorgeous and your story-telling is just as compelling. Your characters are not afraid to push the boundaries and I got mad respect and admiration for you on that too. You're definitely one of the top artists in this site that I look up to and there is no doubt  about it.

Putrid! High five for having our first battles on the same date! Ever since you joined the site, I knew you'd be going places and every time I see you make a comic, I feel vindicated! I know you said  in Discord you want me to go deep dive on the crits but since most were mentioned in the junk cast, I'll just emphasize the ones I feel strongly for:

Spoiler: show

- Try varying the textures and edges a bit more. Everything seems to  blend together as soft focused. You're one of the few people that does this WELL but I'd like to see  you try some texturing technique and see how that works out for you.

- Exaggerate actions a bit more (also aproblem with my own art mind you  lol). Your portrayal of Cecil is just fine since it matches his persona and I def get the creepy vibe from him  but Remy's body language seems more relaxed and timid than what I have known him for.  It would've been cool   to see the contrast  between these two characters based on their body languages. Like how serial killers can go from timid to expressive and you just never know when you're right next to one type of deal.  Just something to note for next time.

- In the junk cast, there was a mini argument about Cecil's inner monologue - whether it would be necessary or not. Hmm..my take on it? If you could use the environment to explain his thoughts, I think it would fit his narrative/persona  better. Though I see internal monologues as necessary the more we get to know him later on. So I guess I am kind of in the middle here lol.

I use internal monologues a lot for Raven (maybe a bit much) but it matches her character as she is an overthinking mess most of the time (and also a talker to boot). Her actions  -though not at all meant to deceive people in a malicious way most of the time - doesn't always mirror her inner thoughts. I use her internal monologues to show the conflict within her that happens pretty much 24/7.

For Cecil, I am not sure if that is the case . I may be leaning towards, keep the mystery for now. ;)

All in all , the above just sounds like nitpicking in the end lol. You made an AMAZING comic and I couldn't be happier and prouder of you esp since this is your first comic battle in the site. I can't wait to see more!





SnowyMoth
Artist
52 comments
# 25   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 02:12 AM
These were both such good battles, in such different ways!! I really liked the game of cat-and-mouse both characters were pulling in your stories!

Kozi- The art is stunning, and getting this insight on Remy was really interesting. I hope Lu will let him keep his new friend for a while, at least!

Putrid- Your panels are almost cinematic, it's lovely to look at! I loved the creative way you went about scarring Remy, especially with it having the mental side effect!

BuggyPumpkin
Artist
13 comments
# 24   Posted: Oct 15 2020, 08:19 PM
Omg this was a wild battle:

Kozi- As always your art is gorgeous! The gore is eerie in the best way!! However, I’ll confess I didn’t love the way you draw Cecil. You seemed to get into the swing towards the end of the comic, but he was definitely a bit... Odd looking in the beginning. I wish I could put my finger on what throws me off. I also felt like Cecil talked a little too much when he was attacking “Lu”. We’ve gotten the idea he’s a man of few words and it felt a little much. But as always! Gorgeous art!! And I love your colors!!

Putrid- DAAAAANG!!! Not only do you have a bunch of pages, but I loooove the story you tell. Remy is arguably one of the hardest characters to try and scar and you did amazing coming up with a great concept. I think your atmosphere is great, but I’d love to see you try to use a cohesive color palette, as I couldn’t tell if there was one. Otherwise I don’t think I have any other crits!

Heathen
Artist
405 comments
# 23   Posted: Oct 14 2020, 01:23 PM
Some very good notes being given in here!

snager
Artist
61 comments
# 22   Posted: Oct 14 2020, 12:58 PM
I honestly hope these two tie because

A) I've never seen the same concept taken in two such opposite vibes
B) I've never seen two characters high key digging on each other so hard without just having sex.

Kozi obviously has a lot of experience making these kinds of comics and it's almost not a fair matchup because of that.

But Putrid has this... OTHER thing I can't say I've seen anywhere before. Just these long, novel-esque, quiet stories. Feels like if Cormac McCarthy was really into Death Note as a kid.

It's hard to compare the two styles!

Yes, Kozi's made me scream 'whaaaat' and 'HUH' and laugh at all the absurd twists. but Putrid made me feel like I was watching a TV show or movie. they're so good at these silent story telling mechanics and letting us observe instead of telling us what to think.

I credit y'all BOTH with the nightmares I had about Cecil last night jfc.

Art wise, Kozi's skill is just phenomenal. Don't know why, but the image quality got eaten up a lot so the details are hard to zoom in on. Putrid's knowledge is nothing to shake a stick at, either. But when It came down to it, Putrid is clearly trying to do things they've never done before to stretch their skills whereas Kozi has done a lot more and hitting every drawing out of the park. If it wasn't for that, Putrid's Entertainment rating would have beat out Kozi. Putrid, you're great at drawing a low key, realistic emotion, but there were definitely scenes in your comic where someone should be really stretching their face out when they emote. Kozi: you're NOT good at drawing neutral emotions and I identify with that. But it was also charming to see Cecil's face muscles move XD

but for Putrid: It's just so nice to see someone doing something so different.

and, this is purely a personal opinion, It felt a little disrespectful for Kozi's ending to make a non-magical, non-extra character have to bear a scar that is just so.. not the same genre that he belongs in. Putrid found a way to put Remmy into Cecil's genre and have it still seem natural. But Kozi had to turn Cecil into a whacky cartoon to make it fit.

also though: kind of unclear where Cecil got the second vial of drugs from. Did Marie just leave it for him as a gift? I like the idea that he is able to use the drugs to catch Remmy because Cecil has built a tolerance to them. XD
also also: did Remmy just rip off Cecil's entire lower jaw in the end?

that's my piece. Come for my ass on discord.

Hellis
Artist
255 comments
# 21   Posted: Oct 13 2020, 01:14 AM
Kozi: Artwise, I dont really know anything I didn't like or can really point out.

Writing wise: Not a fan of the scar, nor the way you approached this story. The comic follows Remys and Lous usual storytelling structure that feels like its every Remy comic as result: "Opponent shown, goes after remy/faces off against remy, remy shows up".

 I love Remy, but I really wanna see the story feel like something else then "Remy great, opponent helpless and without any real sense of agency to them once they interact." This fight could have swapped out Remys opponent with anyone else and it would still felt exactly the same as most his interactions. I think your being to comfterble with how you approach these stories. Remy is the most interesting when he is soemthing else then Mr Unbeatable. Thats why his and Lou's interactions are often more interesting. This? Not as much.

Vodka: Writing: God that was creepy. I am mostly gonna echo heathen here: You could have played up the cooking more, it would have served to give Cecil and Remy more interaction powerwise, and it would have given cecil an idea of what he was doing to Remy. It would help drive Cecils creepynes home even more. I am confused as how he was able to stab Remy with Remys powers as well.

Artwise, I really love the washed out look. It fits with the creepy stalker and killer vibe of Cecil. Your comics are extremely easy to follow, your staging and pacing feels a lot like storyboard as Footini said, and I think its a real strength here.




Overall: Both of you are really fucking good, and I only barely gave this to Cecil, the cooking scene was simply to clever.

FrankenToon
Artist
5 comments
# 20   Posted: Oct 13 2020, 12:15 AM
OKAY SO- I haven't been able to do critiques yet since I'm still relatively new but for once it's a battle with both characters being whom I'm very familiar with! Thanks so much in advance for hearing me! Now..

Kozi-
you 100% did not disappoint visually, the color and style choicings are jaw-dropping and inspiring!! I loved the context clues and references left here and there, especially the dinner scene. I'll definitely have to look back on Radji's lessons because the end result is incredibly satisfying! The backgrounds of course are stellar, everyone's praises so far I'm certainly agreeing with-
Although one in particular didn't sit well with me and it's the handling of the tavern when there’s a canon design in his BB. I understand taking creative liberties, but it rubbed me the wrong way with how that it almost seemed like the sole reason it was changed to a mexican fast food spot was only because Cecil himself is a latino character. I understand that people like to stick to their roots- but the fact that Cecil hasn't been shown to be the type to care about that was a very risky move imo. The fast food vibe also feels very off for Cecil since it's been hinted and talked about that he's a snob when it comes to the culinary arts.
My only other gripe was the handling of Cecil's scar- a cannibal chef who can't even taste his own food anymore and is barely anything other than plot device for Remy ( at least that's what I was able to gather! ). I won’t go too into detail, Footini said it best- but for a new voider having their first character that they obviously have a lot planned for, it seems very restrictive right off the bat.
Small nitpicks are Cecil working the front when he's a chef, him being so expressive and wishing we could've seen more of his scar! Him also still working as a chef doesn't make sense for me either, he can't taste anything anymore and the shot of him seemingly still having a chin when Remy takes his mask off had me confused on what's left.


Putrid-
The amount of work you put it is phenomenal and I'm so damn proud of you!! You took a lot of time just focusing on the things peeps critiqued you for in your BB and tried to strengthen it ( from word bubbles, to sound effects ). Also seeing you take the time in doing your homework on Remy, knowing you asked questions, and seeing the end product had me feeling you did proper justice to the character. For what could've been worked on, I think it’s some presentation with hints! The boiling pot in the beginning I'm aware was foreshadowing but I know it flew over my head the first time! If anything, adding a close-up and Cecil staring while meat boils over in the pot would've been a clearer nod for what was to come. Another is that the slow roasting for Remy could've been more jarring, showing welts in his skin and growing panic would have brought a more visceral reaction in readers! We’ve seen you get gruesome before, and I’d love to see it again. Small little nitpicks are the stalking phase being a bit more blurry than necessary- particularly the bit including the dog having scratched Remy and transferring over the damage.

ALL AND ALL- I loved this matchup to death and I can't wait to see what comes next!!

Footini
Artist
78 comments
# 19   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 10:34 PM
Remy put your pants on you have a guest

Kozi-
 yea I got no complaints.  The art is good.
One nitpick is that Remy's dialogue is kind of hard to read due to his accent; I had to slow down and re-read much of his speech just to understand it.
Main crit I have with the story is the characterization of Cecil.  I'll get more into it for putrid's part but this feels like it could have been almost any crazy killer Remy found.  He's not to much more than a psychopath that just looks menacing, gets one bum rush in, and just gets tied up for the rest of the comic.  You have him emote more in this side but it still seems like a departure for his usual more calculated approach to his murders.  And once Cecil gets tied up he doesn't do much else than get ripped up and become Remy's playmate.  Now I guess Cecil can't really go out and eat people without Remy with him?
And this is just me and I know y'all likely had an agreement on the scar but to have a new character get a major facelift and have much of their agency taken away right out the gate  seems a little too much.

Putrid- What's a good wine to pair with a voodoo goon?
Artwise this was good.  You're more realistic by comparison style is a neat contrast to your opponent.  Your washed out visuals, staging, and paneling feels more like a storyboard for a film than a comic.  Not that that's a bad thing.  You have a talent for mood and atmosphere that's one of the best things about your storytelling.  You do tend to have alot of extra panels for minor moments that give a more calculated and slow paced feel to your comics than others.
Though I would put more into backgrounds in the future; they're kind of minimal in most scenes and the blur effect where there are some kind of make the comic feel more barren than it should be.
One more thing about the story I'd say is that it would have probably been better to focus more on Cecil stalking Remy and figuring out his powers as he puts this underground oven together.  As it is the way he learns isn't really fully shown but more just told to us.  Maybe some of the panels in the stalking scenes could have shown the exact perimeters of his powers instead.
Though I still do think that Cecil's plan to cook Remy was a pretty creative way to go about it.  And actually a really cool scar at that.

I touched on this in kozi's crit but I'll go into it more here.  I'm not really finding Cecil that interesting yet.  We're five comics in and he's mostly just kind of stood around and stare menacingly at people, with a little bit of stabs.  He doesn't say much, he doesn't emote a whole bunch.  I get he's kind of stone faced most of the time but maybe bring out his personality in his body language more than his face.  This comic does show his more calculating side but again much of his figuring out how to kill remy was just told to us that he did.  Maybe it's just him being opposite the animated and sassy Remy who's had a few years worth of comics to get fleshed out.  But giving more personality (even if he's lowkey) to Cecil and *really* dive into his headspace in future comics would be a way to go.

Heathen
Artist
405 comments
# 18   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 07:43 PM
This one will be up for Battle of the Year, I suspect.

I love the creativity on display in Kozi's disgusting depiction of Remy's powers, and I love Cecil's solution to the cooking conundrum Remy's powers present.  I would have liked a little more drama in the damage being inflicted on Cecil as he drives away. Maybe he was curious what it feels like to be boiled alive, and sticks around as long as he can bear, before driving away in a hot sweat, gasping for air and grinning euphorically. Some additional tension and characterization there would have further elevated what is otherwise a really cool, if underplayed, scene.

Main technical crits: Kozi, your anatomy and perspective are still a little... "mushy"? And I don't mean when the anatomy is literally getting mushy (that stuff is great). Feel free to hit me up if that doesn't make sense.

Putrid: The needle sequence on page 1 confused me. Did he take the needle out of his neck and then put it back in? Also, your daylight colors aren't reading like bright sunshine. They're like, foggy. Maybe that was the intention, but it feels more like you were struggling with values and soft filter effects.

I'll have to let this one simmer for a couple days before I vote, see which comic left the more lasting impression. They're both great.

Monday
Artist
950 comments
# 17   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 06:24 PM
This feels like a close match ! And we get Remy and Gagnon in two servings. HOT and COLD !

ii Warning, These review has spoilers !!

Kozi- This is Remy's typical beat.  It has a good manic feel not just from Remy but Gagnon too. The throughline in this story is enough for casual eaters like me to enjoy, and the compositions feel complete and expressive, despite some backgrounds being a little messy and suggestive in comparison [as backgrounds should be of course].  I recognized a nod from a certain game [and perhaps an even older movie] but I like the direction it went with it, especially as a vehicle for Remy to deliver on his song and dance to Gagnon.  The ending was an excellent dessert, and was a very eye opening experience on how killers get along.

Putrid: I will admit there was ooooooooooooone thing that bothered me throughout this whole meal. And that was , when will we would get Remy's power on full blast ? As they either happen as a complete surprise to the opponent [but known to the audience] or is completely accounted for by all actors.   I kind of wish that either Gagnon felt the repurcussions of Remy's voodoo effect while he was being cooked alive or that the block on the power was expanded on a bit more. But the suspense of the whole thing, the atmosphere, and the nature of the scar was extremely interesting and had a lasting aftertaste and made that little hang up easy to overlook.  My favorite part was the dread silence throughout the work.

This is a close call folks and I wish I was this full irl ; w;)

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
63 comments
# 16   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 03:10 PM
I love these! I've been so excited for them since I saw the countdown and neither disappointed!
 I love how Cecil is so creative in his cooking 'techniques'
Remy just wants a friend!
We need for of these two pals!

PutridVodka
Artist
44 comments
# 15   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 11:44 AM
Thank you everyone for the critique!!
I'll just comment once before the period ends to clarify one (1) thing, and I'll wait patiently for the rest of the feedback, just think it's rly important to address it

Cy- The reason Remy takes damage it's because no one is around to get the damage reflected back to them, as stated in Remy's bio "If the closest living thing is too far away, the damage will not have anywhere to go and Remy will incur damage"
Hence, why Cecil chose a deserted place to do the deed

That's all, thank you!

CandycornRhino
Artist
93 comments
# 14   Posted: Oct 12 2020, 03:08 AM
Hi yes I like both of these 100// gave equal scores Im sorry.

Remy: Literally tickling my body horror glee. AND THE DINNER SCENE. Fucking Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Resident Evil 7 vibes. Art is glorious. Liking the color palette too, kinda grime. Tho I know you were going for Radji's onomatopoeia thing, this might be down to personal taste, I feel it was kinda over abundant throughout the comic. Like the "Grab!" one, idk. Grabbing onto something doesn't really make me invoke hearing a sound to associate with it if I can plainly see it. idk

Cecil: I HATE THAT FACE ON PAGE 11 PANEL 5 ahsdcyuihabsnuif8hnbaiujf. You know how to draw things cREEPY TEACH ME. Idk, I'm digging the kinda black and white with splashes of color here and there in muted tones. Its nothing overly striking, but I can agree you could ramp up the contast a little more in a couple parts, like the Remy's magic trying to escape. Let that shit SHINE. Though if you are going with a muted palette, you can try to vary a bit like during a sunset scene, perhaps putting a hint of red/brown/orange on the characters really help drive a better environment scene feel. Lightsources or wtv idk how to explain it lol. Interesting scar too, both physi and mental. (ALSO ASFASFA COLD WATER BAD IN TREATING BURNS BUT THATS JUST THE COOK IN ME HAHA)

Good battle 10/10 love it good job you beans.

TheCydork
Artist
301 comments
# 13   Posted: Oct 11 2020, 11:33 PM
Kozi - Damn. I was floored by this. There’s so many little things to love here. Like, I love how you focussed on Lu’s fat as if she were a cut of meat. It’s gross and dehumanising, which is perfect for showing Cecil’s point of view. I like that you put extra detail into Cecil’s teeth to show how crooked and horrible they are. LOVE your take on the Lonely Jackal, the sign design was lovely. Page 5 made me fucking gasp and the scar, oh my god the scar. It was so gruesome but also really damn cool. I wonder if Cecil will remain his “friend” or try to escape these new social binds? Other things to note: the gore here was excellent, real gross and visceral. Definitely see Radji’s tips helping too, because the sound effects looked great and added to the horror of the situation. Oh sorry, one more thing, it’s great to see Remy’s character develop further! I know you’ve mentioned him being lonely in the past but it’s great to see it in all its twisted glory now >:3

I was confused by the way the scar was executed though. You’ve shown in the past that Lu is the only person Remy can feel, and take damage from. You seem to show this again here as he makes a happy sound when she bites his lip. But then when she tears it, the damage is inflicted on Cecil? Did the rule change, did she inactivate her touch...? Whatever the case I could’ve done with some explanation.

Art-wise I just have a couple of nitpicks - one is that Cecil sort of looks like a clown sometimes, his makeup and general look was a tad over exaggerated in some panels. The first panel of page 9 also made me pause. The thick white streak made me think Lu was pulling a napkin out of Cecil’s mouth rather than it being motion lines. The bite marks are also backwards - the “ring” of teeth marks is facing towards Cecil rather than Lu.

Putrid - 28 pages?? In 3 weeks?? That’s like 3 times the amount I managed damn, kudos. I’m a sucker for psychological scars so I’m glad you went that route, it’s interesting to see a character afraid of baths. I also dug how you stylised Remy!

I have to be honest though, I was kinda let down by this. As impressive as 28 pages is, I think this could have really benefited from trimming and editing. I didn’t get a sense of urgency - if anything it was pretty laidback - which is a problem for this kind of story. The parts that should have been drawn out more, like the stalking, last a page, and the parts that should have been quick take 20. Both characters feel strangely passive, even though Cecil is literally kidnapping somebody. I’m not sure how to describe it.. I think because he just sort of stumbles across the poster, and then stumbles across Remy, rather than seeing the poster and actively seeking Remy out, or searching for magic users and then honing in on Remy. Then Remy himself, the paralysis felt too convenient. He can’t move in the car, but he can the moment he’s in the water. I don’t think it was a good decision to paralyse him when Cecil is so stoic and Remy is brave because he thinks he won’t get injured, because as a result we don’t get much of a reaction from either of them. With Remy paralysed he can’t even be expressive.

Remy also didn’t feel like himself to me. His powers are strangely absent from this comic, apart from those few times he hits his head, which barely affects Cecil. Why would he reflect a stab from a knife but not a needle? Why does he not reflect the damage from boiling water when he’s been shown to withstand fire in earlier comics? Other people have done twists on his ability before - in JCee’s side of Swan vs Remy, she made it so he only reflected damage when he could see the other person, and I can accept that. But this doesn’t seem to have much sense or thought put into it aside from convenience, like you couldn’t work out a story where he gets scarred aside from straight up writing his powers away. And as a result, he could have been replaced with any other magic user and the story would be the same. Part of his character is gone, and there was a lot of wasted potential.

As for the visual side, your backgrounds feel somewhat empty and could definitely do with some texturing. Everything is very smooth and kinda blurred, I think they’d look great for a dream sequence or comics with dreamy vibes, but I don’t think they work here. For example on page 12, the shot above the car, I can’t tell what surface this is supposed to be. I think it’s supposed to be soil because there’s a hole dug there, but it looks like they’re on a car park floor, it’s so smooth. The hole doesn’t feel like it has any depth either because it’s coloured with a soft gradient. It needs darker colours, jagged edges, either texture or some stray lines to indicate texture, stuff like that. Or stains! You did a really good job of that in the bathroom on the penultimate page, with the stained and cracked tiles. Gave it a good grimy feel. Try applying similar techniques to other surfaces too :)

I know this might come across as harsh, but please don’t take this negatively. This was an amazing effort for your first battle. I’ve loved your comics so far and think you could do even better and that’s why I crit! Be proud of yourself!

EDIT: In rereading, I realised you might have been going for distance to explain Remy taking the damage? Like, Cecil was far enough away that Remy couldn’t reflect the damage? I could be totally offmark, but if this WAS the case, how did Cecil know? He seemed to have simply been watching Remy from afar, how would he know all the terms and conditions of his ability without insider knowledge?

———————————

Also random side note but @Footini how the hell do you keep predicting battles with such scary accuracy XD

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
455 comments
# 12   Posted: Oct 11 2020, 10:30 PM
Great job on both sides of the comic for this.

Kozi: You have some of the best art quality on the site period and on a technical level very good. I also like how you hint at the skin changing thing and tell with the small details of the book and the shadow before Remy says he used the spell, great way of explaining without much any exposition. There are a couple presentation things that can be improved. At the bottom of Page 7 Cecil is looking towards the left, but both before and after he is position to be looking towards the right (random aside not sure what "Chok" is but the sound effect looked awesome enough and fit it I didn't mind it at all). It would have been nice to also have a clear view what Cecil's face looks out without the magic muzzle, which is a very good scar. Great Job

Cecil: I love how much of Cecil's personality shows in this and page 11 panel 5 is fantastic. artwise everything feels a bit too gray and midtone and I would like to see some more contrast in your stuff. also some of the backgrounds feel a bit sparse but that is also comparing it to Kozi who does fantastic backgrounds. Also while you did a good job showing how Cecil was taking remy's damage it would have been nice to also show Cecil taking the needle injection with like a spot in his neck as a little bit of clarity there, but that's a small thing.
I also really love how this scar isn't just physical but also mental with remy now getting some trauma of water thinking it's boiling hot. That gives Kozi and others who write Remy a lot to work with in the future.

PutridVodka
Artist
44 comments
# 11   Posted: Oct 11 2020, 10:26 PM
Oop! Same here! Warning for nudity!

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 11 2020, 09:06 PM
Friendly neighborhood warning for nudity and gore. Cheers!

snager
Artist
61 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 09:55 PM
HYPE TRAIN just push him on the tracks, Cecil~!

Sean
Approval Committee
359 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 08:20 PM
Nah Remy be bitch made, my money is on our chef, Cecil! He's gonna grind up ol witchy boi into some jambalaya

CandycornRhino
Artist
93 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 08:17 PM
KNIFE FIGHT KNIFE FIGHT

Heathen
Artist
405 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 08:13 PM
Ten bucks on Remy! Cecil ain’t got nothin on the bad man! Tall, dark and browless is gonna have to get creative if he doesn’t want to slit his own throat.

Field Marshal Lionel Forsythe W. Underwood XIII, GBE
Artist
141 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 08:01 PM
Bonny luck to you two talented lovable artists you! I'll be waiting to read this with eager anticipation.

JCee
Artist
385 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 07:17 PM
YAAAASSSSS

Footini
Artist
78 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 04:58 PM
now lets not loose face here.

TheCydork
Artist
301 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 04:49 PM
YOOOOOOO

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
63 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 11:53 AM
Holy fudge! I am so pumped for this!
Let's see some blood!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Oct 19th, 2020
Votes Cast: 38
Page Views: 914
Winner: Kozispoon
 

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