Masukuda Hoppa Kuro vs. The Smile

Masukuda Hoppa Kuro vs. The Smile

Masukuda Hoppa Kuro vs. The Smile

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Masukuda Hoppa Kuro50.5%
711 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: heathen, masukuda hoppa kuro, The Smile


by Heathen

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for The Smile49.5%
696 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference
tags: heathen, kuyi, manga, masakuda hoppa kuro, The Smile, underwood




Critiques & Comments
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Pizza Man
Artist
41 comments
# 25   Posted: Oct 19 2020, 01:25 PM
Aight *cracks knuckles* Let's do this

Underwood: I'll break this on into story and art sections.

Art: Amazing use of movement, sound effects and word balloons. The fight felt incredibly alive and fluid while giving the action enough room to breathe. Page 9's punch was a little off to me. The impact on the top panel doesn't really match the bottom panel. With that impact I'd expect Kuro's helmet to cave into a blood pool or have his neck turn to the point it almost looks like it's backwards and I don't think it would look too out of place either. Page 7 has to be my favorite. The angles and dialogue for the page are amazing.

Story: I got a few chuckles out of this. I’m a sucker for more jokey fights and this one didn’t disappoint. A weird crit I have for a week long fight was that it might have been too long? The beginning drags on just a little bit more than I think was needed.

Heathen: Considering the dialogue is pretty sparce, this one is more on the technical side rather than the story itself. I'm gonna break this one down page by page. Hope this doesn't get annoying lol

Page 2: Something about the composition is off. I wish I knew what I think it's the movement of the character. It doesn't seem to flow the same.

Page 4: Easily my favorite page in the comic. The two in between it are close competitors as they all have stellar kinetic flow and timing. But I could look at page four several times over and find something new. There's a lot going on in that second panel that I didn't catch the first or second read around. I especially like the guy who had his arm cut off and shot himself in the head as a result.

Page 6: The action in general was kind of hard to follow. Not sure if I'm missing something but the placement of characters seems to change or there isn't enough panels to convey the sequence of events properly. Not sure if the lack of sfx was a time constraint issue or intentional. Bottom panel was badass.

Page 7: I feel half the impact the block had but it still feels kind of dulled. There's a nice big slab of space right under Kuro just begging for something to be there. I don't really know what it’d be myself it just feels like something is missing. Same with the bottom panel of The Smile pushing Kuro's face into the ground. The action and impact are both there but it just needs that extra push to bring it's full potential out.

Since this is a two parter I wont be a bug about the abrupt endings on both sides but I think Underwood handled his ending better.

Heathen
Artist
446 comments
# 24   Posted: Sep 26 2020, 03:30 AM
Thanks, Reecer! Not quite fast enough, this time, as it seems I needed another page or two for a satisfying conclusion!

Arts, thanks for the impressions, I agree. Hopefully part 2 will provide the follow up this needed, and the two battles can be taken together to be a satisfying read.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
557 comments
# 23   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 08:42 PM
Underwood: just want to say i love how you're able to change styles so much and have every style look amazing.

Heathen: We talked about it in voice chat the other day but to keep it archived hear the only problem your comic had was where you chose to end it off. with mutlipart series especially action series you want to end parts either right before the main climatic action or when there has been enough time for the reader to process the action and you start hinting at the follows up. Right now this ended on the page of the climatic action and the reader didn't have time to process the main action on the page it ended. you will generally want another page after the main action, or if there wasnt time for that to end it sooner right before the main action building up to it more.

Happy July 21st! -Reecer6
Artist
341 comments
# 22   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 03:03 AM
i am furious you two are both so goddamn good and simultaneously so goddamn fast like ONE WEEK SERIOUSLY??? FOR THESE TWO EXCELLENT COMICS???

Field Marshal Lionel Forsythe W. Underwood XIII, GBE
Artist
141 comments
# 21   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 06:51 PM
Thank you all for the critiques I'll keep them at heart. And thank you to Heathen for rousing me off my slumber. I could not have done it without goading from one of the best artists on Void. Yeah enough talk from this old man, lets get on to ROUND 2. Let me get my prune juice and Humira...

Heathen
Artist
446 comments
# 20   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 06:29 PM
Thanks for all the comments and feedback, everyone. And congrats on the win, Underwood, your comic had me laughing out loud just about every panel!

I’ll see you in round 2!

InvaderDiz
Artist
59 comments
# 19   Posted: Sep 19 2020, 12:14 PM
Yo, I know nothing about either of these characters other than they look cool, but this was one of the dopest things I\'ve ever seen in my life. 10/10

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
243 comments
# 18   Posted: Sep 19 2020, 10:57 AM
I don\'t know how to spoiler stuff so if you haven\'t read them don\'t read this.

Heathen! That was badass how you had all that glass shred apart those goons! The whole action manga style you went for in this came off spectacularly.

Underwood! I was laughing the whole time I was reading this! The whiplash reactions! The changing art style! If the intro were darker it\'d take me back to school days of read those edgy comics as a kid.

TheCydork
Artist
522 comments
# 17   Posted: Sep 19 2020, 05:24 AM
These were both super fun, and both of you guys have professional quality work! It’s also wild seeing the Smile in humorous situations haha.

Underwood - The randomly changing styles and expressions really got me. It’s amazing how easily you switch it up without it looking forced, I was lowkey thrown back to my school lol so random!!1! style humour (in a good way). The posing was also great. The only thing that bothered me was the jump from being set in an empty void save for the claw machine to a fully detailed city.

Heathen - This was ridiculously clean and professional looking for 1 week, holy shit. All the shots looked great, and I particularly liked page 5! It kinda threw me that I was reading from left to right though when you used Japanese words and a style reminiscent of manga. I also found the action kinda cliche, and without much of a spin to make it new and interesting e.g. the delay in the Yakuza being blown away when Kuyi lands, or the Smile grabbing him by the head.

Jade★
Council
1064 comments
# 16   Posted: Sep 14 2020, 09:01 AM
Spoiler: Underwood • show
As always, your art is impeccable and your writing creative and original! The humor in this comic didn't quite work with me for the most part, unfortunately, but I loved the action. You made such good use of extreme foreshortening, messy lines indicating movement, and background effects to really nail the impacts of all every punch and kick in this comic. And the cameos were fun and random. It's good to see you around again!

Spoiler: Heathen • show
Both you and Underwood clearly had fun imitating that classic manga style, and I'm way into it. I love how badass you made both characters, from Masukuda taking out a bunch of people with the shattered glass from the skylight to Smile just completely stopping him with one hand and smashing him into the ground. I wish there were more of this comic, because it was so good!

Rivana
Artist
308 comments
# 15   Posted: Sep 14 2020, 08:17 AM
Massively entertained. While I love serious and epic story arcs, I am just as much as a sucker to over the top, silliness, badassery and humor. No crits except I WANT MORE!

There is no question why both of you are two of the best comic artists/writers in the site. Major kudos!

brownkidd
Artist
12 comments
# 14   Posted: Sep 14 2020, 06:32 AM
Hot dang these are both tite. The action is so smooth and the writing, while silly and over-the-top, managed to stay entertaining without veering into cringe territory. Well done to both of you!

Hellis
Artist
285 comments
# 13   Posted: Sep 13 2020, 02:54 AM
I am stumped critting these. Please know I gave you both the same, rather high, score. Becouse both works are clean as hell, funny as fuck and straight up exellent.

snager
Artist
139 comments
# 12   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 11:22 PM
Y'all got me so hype for this battle! i'm new so i've never seen a gentlman's agreement where the battle has a part one and part two. I think I ruined the jokes a little for myself by watching Heathen stream it in the discord - or maybe that vibe was what made it more real.

anyway, please stay tuned for my new TV show coming spring 2022: Boroto's Two Dads!
The Story centers on the life of a 1X year old boy named Boroto Tennyson-Uzumaki - His soul is bound to 10 different demons and once a day he can use his special family blood line ability to turn into any one of them. His two dads, middle-aged retirees Benjamin Tennyson and Naruto Uzumaki, are very supportive of their son's goals but worry about how drastically the demons change him.

Camel
Artist
142 comments
# 11   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 09:52 PM
Underwood - What's there to say?? It's hilarious, it's bonkers, and it looks clean as fuck. All i'd crit is that final colored page is a bit too saturated for my tastes but other than that, primo.

Heathen - With a one week deadline you're obv punching a bit below your weight, but still this comic is remarkably clean and gorgeous to look at as well. Your action rendering is arguably the strongest on void, the fight scenes are just -mwAh-. Only thing not working for me is the overly light backgrounds - a lil value would make certain scenes pop a lot more.

CandycornRhino
Artist
118 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 09:03 PM
I'm a loss for words.

I cant comprehend crit this lmfao.

Heathen
Artist
446 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 08:43 PM
I forgot to select a crit level, but please, have at it and pull no punches.

Animeshen
Artist
1381 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 01:58 PM
i... i am not worthy to crit these XD these are both some of the best comics ive read here in a WHILE. The quality is amazing and I laughed my ass off. i tip my hat, gents. Also, Thanks for the shout-out, Underwood LOL

PyrasTerran
Global Moderator
1469 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 01:24 PM
I’m back in high school lurking around the manga section of Barnes & Noble ☺️

Footini
Artist
277 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 12:33 PM
Honestly, these were some of my favorite comics I've read on here in a while.
Both were near pitch perfect in their styles and humor.

Underwood- There wasn't a page that didn't make me laugh in this.While there wasn't much plot beyond 'two dudes fight just because' the absurd humor carried the energy through to the end.

Heathen- You nailed the old school manga look, down to the sound effects and even the shading.  The sudden ending did kind of leave me wanting more but in a ' aw that's it?' sort of way.  I definitely want to see a follow up.

Two high quality comics from two void pros; great read from both of you.

Sean
Approval Committee
380 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 12 2020, 12:33 PM
Fucking hell... I don't even know where to begin. I am going to need to drink a few bottles of sake and come back to this comment section.

You two are fucking disgusting beasts. I want more. Seriously.

Sean
Approval Committee
380 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 9 2020, 08:26 AM
HURT EACH OTHER!!!!

Hellis
Artist
285 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 5 2020, 04:43 PM
WUUUU. UNDERWOOD COMICS?! This fight gonna be fantastic

Animeshen
Artist
1381 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 3 2020, 07:24 PM
whoa this is outta nowhere! Awesome!

Field Marshal Lionel Forsythe W. Underwood XIII, GBE
Artist
141 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 3 2020, 07:22 PM
Yay first comic for Kuyi! Woot woot!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Sep 19th, 2020
Votes Cast: 28
Page Views: 776
Winner: Field Marshal Lionel Forsythe W. Underwood XIII, GBE
 

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