Something in Common / Gold vs. Inez

Something in Common / Gold vs. Inez

Something in Common — Gold vs. Inez

Icon for Gold49.2%
790 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: armageddon, gold, inez, shapeshifter


by Juxta

Icon for Inez50.8%
816 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: gold, inez




Critiques & Comments
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Bobo
Web Dev
972 comments
# 22   Posted: Sep 30 2020, 11:02 AM
@Cy: I love the Arma references with the city on fire and demons running everywhere, and your art is excellent. I love the level of detail in your city backgrounds, but there are little things that you can feel are missing, such as street signs, power lines, vehicles, and other people. It's really easy to miss those kinds of details, and I know adding them can be a lot of work, but I think it's worth it, at the very least in establishing shots. Otherwise, I like how you made the connection between these two characters and gave them a reason to give a shit about each other, and your coloring was great!

@Jux: Your art style has such a nice personality and polish to it! I love how you showed off Gold's multiple forms throughout the comic. I think if I had one critique, it would be to exaggerate your expressions more. There are some reaction shots that seem really understated. Get body language and gestures in there for extra effect. Otherwise, this was a solid comic with great art and I want to know what happens next!

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 21   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 09:57 PM
Cy- I think the little details are what I enjoyed. Inez demon form reflected inthe city's water puddle, the wanted posters in the alley, Crowns graffiti and the neat overhead birds eye view of the city. Speaking of, the level of detail and personality of your environments was pretty good! The level or ruin and arma- ness feels in line with all the hype we've been seeing.
Gold comes off as so 'thats not my business and I don't care', so I wondered how this was going to play out. Tying it to something personal and reflective of his past was a clever move. I think if I had a complaint is was the lack of volume SFX wise. Bird Gold gets hit with a plume of flame in utter silence and when he turns human and lands hard enough to knock out, the impact without a sound effect doesnt come across.

 JUXTA- oh snap oh snap is this your first battle? WOO grats on getting a whole comic complete and fully colored innn!  Both sides of this battle had some backgrounds that totally slap and this was no exception. Your city feels gritty and lived in. Your expressions also were great to see page to page. Small things I think that stood out was the set up of an action. Post phonecall in the phonebooth I think I would've raised the voodoo arm to clearly portray Bird Gold coming in for the snatch. As is, I don;t thini t was very clear. The same could be said for the impact between Inez and Gold on page 5. Interaction- especially action is always a really tough draw, but void is no better place to get that practice in ;D

Speaking of- this voodoo doll. I must know more about it. I want to sleuth out the mystery. WHAT DOES IT MEAN??

Flutterbyes
Artist
282 comments
# 20   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 04:32 PM
Cy: From the beginning, surly Inez kind of has the swagger of a tiny Gold, but it's a moment of vulnerability that catches his eye! I really like the ambient light and the overall atmosphere of your comic. I think, since Gold was looking at Inez from a distance, his body language should have been more pronounced to back up his assessment of her as a "feisty kid." I'm a little mixed on the memory it triggers, because it's presented in a way that has the look of someone remembering a point of view, but Gold wouldn't be able to see that face from where he is, and he wouldn't have been able to see his own face. But I get the message.

Juxta: I like how you used the lighting to show that Gold had changed position. What's happening on page 5 is a little vague. Is the doll letting out an alarm because Inez is near? Although I really dig the mystery and the budding horror story that seems to be happening here, I feel like I missed some information. I can feel the intrigue, and I can tell it's significant, but I'm not sure why, or what anyone was expecting from the doll.

Heathen
Artist
405 comments
# 19   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 03:54 PM
Cy: great work on this battle. I got a chuckle out of the graffiti. “Hail satan” “smoke pot”. Haha

I appreciate your attention to the backgrounds and the clear effort there. Try to push those even more to show greater sense of scale and depth, and work on incorporating more environmental details to separate foreground, middle, and background elements in your compositions. Be mindful of the size of objects relative to each other. The dumpster in the alley looks like it’s halfway inside the wall, and I suspect it’s because you narrowed it to fit inside the alley you’d already drawn. And just things like the heights of buildings and vantage points, like in the shot of gold wounded on the roof and Inez looking up at him from the alley. We shouldn’t even see the ground from that angle, but it gets the point across, and clarity trumps accuracy.

Work on your acting. You can definitely do expressions, as showcased in both the closeups of young gold and Inez’s similar scars as well as on the face of Hawk Gold, which isn’t an easy thing to pull off. But Inez more or less stands board stiff throughout the encounter with the demon. And we don’t see her get scratched. If we look closely we can see the scratches, but she’s just standing there when she says “fuck off”, like she’s just annoyed. Gold’s perception of her looking wounded and scared almost comes across as him projecting his memory onto her, rather than her actual state.

Overall, though, a great showing, and lots of potential. Nice work.

Juxta: I don’t have much to critique about this comic, it all read really clearly and it’s pretty great from a technical standpoint. I feel like a LITTLE more love could have gone into a few of the backgrounds, they’re a little on the sketchy side,  but they’re still perfectly effective. I think both Inez and Gold were well characterized here, and it was fun to see gold in action. I really like how they interact with each other, that Inez doesn’t realize Gold was the thief and Gold doesn’t feel the need to give himself away. I feel like that would have been where a lot of people took the interaction, and you stayed true to their motivations. I only wish Gold had come away from the encounter with something more gained. I like how he gives Inez the lead, but maybe some idea of whether he plans to follow up on it himself would lend some intrigue. I can’t believe he would just abandon his curiosity. Oh, and why was Inez so nonplussed by the “dumb little voodoo doll”? I’d think she’d be more fascinated by a little statue OF HER LIKENESS. She acts like it’s something out of a quarter machine, as if she doesn’t know why the lady gave it to her. Unless she just whittled it in front of her, I dunno, I feel like I missed some context. Was that explained in her last comic?

snager
Artist
61 comments
# 18   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 09:55 AM
This came really close! Juxta, I like how you use under-shots to make a small character seem imposing - very smart XD
And Cy, love how bright your color pallets are~

good luck, guys~

Happy October 21st! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
310 comments
# 17   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 02:28 AM
Cy: A very solid comic! I don't really have much to comment on one way or the other, it's just a very nice complete thing. My one small nitpick is with that top-down shot, the buildings and roads aren't aligned to anything and feel real arbitrarily placed u_u

Juxtie: This is also very nice and I can't really complain! Your animal drawings especially feel super mature and practiced. I guess I just don't know why Inez got distracted by a bird in the first place? But you've got an arc started here, so that's cool!

Heavenbat
Artist
135 comments
# 16   Posted: Sep 28 2020, 01:54 AM
Cy: I feel like I've said most everything to you about this in DMs but I just want to reiterate, I fucking love the way you drew the fire. It's so gorgeous! And you've definitely gotten better at dramatic lighting! I also really loved the story, with a nice side to Gold we haven't seen  yet!

Juxta: I really love the sort of dull environment, and the expressions both from Inez and Gold are great! I love how you drew Gold hehe. An interesting story too! I just kind of wish there was a bit more payoff on the doll--I think the thing that threw me off most was Inez saying it looked right at her, but the doll seems to only open its eyes when Gold shows up.

Flytee
Artist
151 comments
# 15   Posted: Sep 27 2020, 01:26 PM
This was a really close battle for me. Time to write a big ol crit for the first time in a while.

Cy- The effort you've been putting into your comics is paying off for sure. You keep improving with each comic. This was so damn polished.
+ I love all the little details in the background (Wanted posters etc) you've stepped up your game here.
+ I like how you play into your strengths as someone with a lot of knowledge and experience in drawing animals. It's always a treat to see you flex on us.
+ Also mad respect for all the ambitious angles at the start of the comic.
+ I really love that 3-panel sequence in the middle of page 7. Damn, I felt that landing.

Writing-wise, you managed to tell a lot of story in those 9 pages without it feeling messy & bloated. Everythings clear and easy to follow. I also loved seeing a different, softer side to Gold. I'm really interested in diving deeper into this guys story.

Crits
- The sequence on page 2-, I love the concept but the execution didn't work for me, the demon just pops into existence and I think that ruins the effect you were going for. It's a shame we didn't see him midway through dropping camouflage or maybe emerging from a hiding place.
- The expression on page 4 panel 2 was way to stiff. I'm not sure what emotion she's conveying. Eitherway I don't think the intensity matches her expressions later on.
- I said this when you showed me your thumbs and I'll say it again- I really think page 8 would have benefitted from you pulling out the camera and showing a tall panel shot of Inez lowering Gold down the building. I think seeing the full scope of what Inez is doing would have made it a lot cooler and more impactful.


Juxta- I enjoy your art style so much, the subtle approach to colours & lighting, the fluid confident lines and simple yet effective backgrounds. Yeah...Everything here tied together in a really visually appealing way for me. Great work~!
However one big thing let the visuals down and that was the multiple repeated panels, they got distracting. It would be nice to see fewer of those in future comics (especially ones with +2 week deadlines.)
I also think when Gold was tracking the arrows you had a fantastic opportunity to do something really creative with the page layouts as he travelled through the city. It would be great to see you be more experimental with layouts.

In terms of writing- I liked the dialogue, it felt organic and realistic. The story was also a really effective set up to a bigger mystery, you've piqued my interest, so in that regard its a total success. However, as a stand-alone comic I found it a bit wanting. The set up was a little predictable, and the story as a whole felt a bit too convenient in places (they bumped into each other again? :O)

Crits aside, both of these were really strong and enjoyable to read, I'm excited to see what you guys do next!

Badger
Artist
50 comments
# 14   Posted: Sep 25 2020, 10:31 PM
Cy: The quality here is really good, I'm a fan of the bright colors you used, the page layouts, it looks fantastic! It feels like you're really pushing your art with this one, its good stuff. There's not much I can say in terms of crit since I saw most of this while you were working on it and I think any critique I had I said then, though from what I remember most if not all of that stuff's been adjusted or worked on more by the finalized pages. I like how you integrated some hints at Gold lore into the story as well. He tried to help out and just got injured for it :( pls heal Gold

Juxta: Your colors are also really stunning, it's a really pleasing palette and the lighting is great! I also really like the backgrounds, like on pg 2 with the shops, they strike a nice balance between simple and detailed. On page 4 I got a little disoriented and it took me a second read to realize that the doll's eyes were moving like a compass, I noticed later that you have some lines around Gold to indicate he's turning but they blend into the dark sky and get a little lost, I would recommend making them brighter than the background to help them stand out a bit more (a fullbody for this shot would also help with clarity). On the same page I also noticed there seems to be a fire on the right of panel 5 but I don't think this was ever followed up on and it's not too clear what it is, so it got me a little confused. Unless this has something to do with what the doll was pointing at, but it just wasn't made super clear to me if it was connected or not. Aside from that this comic is really good, I like the mystery you're setting up, I like how it seems to follow up directly from your intro, it feels very connected. This is an awesome first battle, I hope to see more Inez soon!

Footini
Artist
78 comments
# 13   Posted: Sep 25 2020, 06:15 PM
i don't know if i can add much more than what has been said but...

Cy- This was your best looking comic yet.  You're really stepping up your backgrounds.

Juxtie- Liked your more understated story (and colors) compared to Cy's  Really looking foward to what you have next

SnowyMoth
Artist
52 comments
# 12   Posted: Sep 25 2020, 05:43 PM
Nice job, both of you! I loved both stories, and both of your colors were very nice to read. :)

Cy: Your angles and expressions are so good, I love the variety you used in this comic. I'm also interested in seeing more about Gold's past, even though there was only a small flashback in this comic! I want to know how you are going to continue this story if you win!

Juxta: I really love the background work you've done, everything looks so "occupied," that it looks like a real place! The entire story was nice too, I'm glad that you had Gold give Inez a hint at the end. I'm excited to see where you'll next with Inez (relatedly: I really liked the detail you put into the idol!)!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
455 comments
# 11   Posted: Sep 24 2020, 10:47 PM
Cy: I love how you are pushing your skills with experimental angles. it's cool to see you try this stuff and as you keep doing it and doing some practice you will get better at it. I also enjoyed your color choices for this comic. I really like the bit of storytelling you do with having inez be able to tell that gold is special because of the type of bird he turned into. good job with this and keep it up.

Juxta: Your art was amazing in this and you have a great style. However i had a hard time following the story because there wasn't enough explanation on the doll. a bit more explanation would have been nice. Also there was constant reference to directions but there was a lack of full body shots showing how the characters were holding the doll so the directions didn't make sense since people kept changing how they held the doll and we didn't see where people were in relation to each other. but this is a great first comic good job with it.

PutridVodka
Artist
44 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 22 2020, 05:40 PM
THESE WERE SO GOOOOOD! Both of your art styles work extremely well with these characters hhhh

CY: LOVED how dynamic and fun your part was! the panel were Molly is taking a bath looks a little bit flat- not the room itself, but the bathroom, maybe adding a bit of a blur or making the lines thinner would help out in making it look further away
That aside, I LOVED how you managed the red light in the city! And the camera angles were sooo goooood. As someone who struggles to make a background look not-empty, I can definitely learn a thing or two by looking at your work. VERY nice comic, loved it!

JUXTA: Everything about your art style makes me -melt-, the colors you picked, the BACKGROUNDS- THEY ARE SO GOOD, the red moon in the sky. It's so damn GOOD. If anything, the panel where Gold takes the doll from Inez throws me off a little, it seems like the totem just disappeared. We know it didn't happen because of the following panel, but maybe adding a blurred falcon when they steal it could make it work better?  Same thing in the part where Gold crashes into Inez, it almost looks like the doll exploded. But all in all, IT WAS SOOOOO GOOOD

You both did an amazing job, both of your character interactions worked perfectly, it felt organic and natural! Delicious treat for the eyes on both sides!

Monday
Artist
950 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 22 2020, 04:58 PM
Cy: I think a big part of what focused my read was the tremendous attempt at ambitious camera shots and angled perspective. There were a lot of these and it also didn't feel like your strong point asides characterization , writing , and color.  As a suggestion I feel that these would be a lot stronger if it was reinforced with some life drawing experience or reference because everything seems to fall into its own structural rules without loosening up.   I  mention this because the theme of the comic revolved around this eagle eye perspective , something that Gold is very lived in with and this point could be sold on more. Understandably, people are not falcons and therefore would have a hard time which is why this would be quite the feat iif pulled off.

   Storywise, it took me a second read to figure out that the Bird was speaking as I went into this fight blind to see if I can figure out the characters before reading them up.  Turns out, much of the tension on their minds is written in dialog and shown but my emotions are slower than industrial sludge so while I understood the emotions in the 3-4 frames it was crunched into, it might be better to space them out and give them more room to breathe. "Wasting" pages for this reason would be fine.

Juxta: The story has a bit of intrigue but as an uneducated civilian in  totem magics I can at least observe the reactions of characters more paranormally inclined and fit a lot of pieces into place. In terms of art and composition the characters feel more natural but I wasn't getting anything more than a bust shot from a majority of them but the environmental compositions are quite nice.  

   On a second read through, I dug a bit deeper into the mystery and felt a bit smarter. A bit /cooler/ about it but I would still be embarassed to post my guess in critique so I'll just wait to see where that story goes.  The characters too felt natural and everyone felt like they had a voice ? Though there wasn't much action in this one comparatively I appreciated what was fielded and these two display neat chemistry.


This looked like you two had a lot of fun and it showed. Thanks for the comix !

Juxta
Artist
7 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 06:44 PM
InvaderDiz:
Juxta, your colors were different, but just as outstanding, and I absolutely loved loved loved the voodoo doll and the way it worked as sort of a gps. The only thing I would say negatively is that the script wasn't quite as tight and I had just a smidgen of trouble following, but that could have easily been me.
Quote

Thanks so much for the feedback! It would be great to hear what script bits you got lost on- I'm still very new with writing (if it isn't obvious), and I want to actively work on it for sure :p. Feel free to reply directly or DM me on Discord. Thanks again!

Juxta
Artist
7 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 06:38 PM
CY!!! WOW!!

I am so awestruck by your comic!! The way you portrayed and wrote Inez was amazing *v* ! Her body language, way of speaking, ect. was SPOT ON. The way you explored her character and gave Gold that whole new dimension through their interaction was just astounding. and exploring her POWERS too!! So fun and so much character throughout.

The references to Molly also made me smile so wide :D. I have a lot to learn still, and this battle has motivated me to continue to strive to get to a higher level like yours. If you take this win, it is well earned! Thank you so much for being my first battle.

InvaderDiz
Artist
20 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 06:16 PM
A fantastic showing from both artists here today!
Cydork, colors were outstanding, and so were the panels/ Everything ran incredibly efficiently and smoothly. I don't think I have a single critique.

Juxta, your colors were different, but just as outstanding, and I absolutely loved loved loved the voodoo doll and the way it worked as sort of a gps. The only thing I would say negatively is that the script wasn't quite as tight and I had just a smidgen of trouble following, but that could have easily been me.

TheCydork
Artist
301 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 21 2020, 05:19 PM
Oh my god!! Ahh this was so good! I’m so curious to see where the compass doll was pointing to, and I love that final shot where you can see the little Inez doll inside the Chaneque. I love Gold’s casual confidence in this, you made him so cool. He just flicks his hair and feathers come off when he transforms back on page 3, like damn XD And the expressions, that last panel on page 6 was so funny. I also like that moment where Inez curses the body’s weak little legs (same braincell) but then reminds herself that they’re HERS now. It’s just a neat little detail.

And congrats on your first battle!! You did amazing :D

Juxta
Artist
7 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 11:22 PM
Phew! From 4 pages in 2 weeks to 8 pages in 3 weeks!! Not bad productivity wise!

Big thanks to Cy for being such an AMAZING first battle and support through my biggest comic project to date. I never knew I’d be able to have such a big finished product. I hope my take on Gold did him justice!

This battle is also very vaguely Arma-inspired, but I can’t say directly, because I haven’t had the time to read many of the comics since I started this :’D. I will be catching up very soon now.

That aside, this quantity of pages could mean quality was possibly sacrificed in some areas and I’d love to hear some feedback and critique on things I may have overlooked in the process. Thank you Cy and the VOID Community.

Time to drink some tea and catch up on comics!

TheCydork
Artist
301 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 03:30 AM
Oh by the way! This info isn’t necessary to understand my side, but if anyone was wondering why Gold starts off as a bird, this comic directly follows the events of the Arma collab.

TheCydork
Artist
301 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 20 2020, 03:00 AM
Submitted! Man, this battle was probably the most fun one I’ve had so far on the site, and the one I’ve been most hyped for. With the stuff I learnt in the mentor roulette and collaborating with Kozi, plus the battle being a week longer than usual, I tried to really give my all! Juxta, thanks so much for letting me be your first opponent. I really love Inez and am so excited for your side!

Huge thanks to Heathen, for helping me a lot when I was stuck with the ending, Badger for looking over a load of my pages and pointing out little details to fix (despite being in Arma!), and to various people who listened to me scream about my computer freezing in voice chat every other day XD

PS Inez’s proportions are a little wonky because I’m not used to drawing kids. Really sorry about that and it’s something I’m working on so there’s no need to point it out!

Sean
Approval Committee
359 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 9 2020, 08:30 AM
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh!

This is a great matchup

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Sep 28th, 2020
Votes Cast: 37
Page Views: 609
Winner: Juxta
 

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