Jamilia "JaJa" Rojas vs. Gwen & Regi

Jamilia "JaJa" Rojas vs. Gwen & Regi

Jamilia "JaJa" Rojas vs. Gwen & Regi

by Footini

Icon for Jamilia 49.2%
404 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: for the clown lovers out there, gwen & regi, jamilia "jaja" rojas, king jack queen, nopalito, you know who you are


by Gregly

Icon for Gwen & Regi50.8%
417 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Gregly
Artist
134 comments
# 13   Posted: Sep 16 2020, 05:32 PM
Footini thanks for this battle! I liked the colors and the energy in yours. It's interesting that we both did similar things. I wrapped things up hastily on my end, but I like how in yours you leave it open at the end, just with the closeup on gwen's fist, that was solid, real good. I cant read spanish and i think the big paragraph in spanish was really funny in the middle of everything going on.  Even though I don't know the language, the background color and scene made it obvious that he's saying something personal and related to what's going on, but it's still just funny in there. The pacing and motion in this is great and I think you made G&R's arguments sound much more natural. Keep up the good work, excited to see what you do next!
Ah and the potions you made up are really cool and imaginative and enjoyable!

Rikun
Artist
89 comments
# 12   Posted: Sep 15 2020, 06:02 PM
I don't really have anything huge or critical to say about these comics, but I could tell that the both of you had a blast on cutting loose and having fun! It was refreshing to see the both of you handle Arma with a dash of lighthearted fun, and it's interesting to see that the main conflict was about trying to patch things up between Gwen and Regi. Both of these comics took me back to a simpler time when it was about characters smacking stuff around and having fun. Best of luck to the both of you!!!

Rivana
Artist
165 comments
# 11   Posted: Sep 15 2020, 07:11 AM
This is gonna be short and sweet as the crits I was gonna bring up  were already mentioned. Anyhow, I find it fascinating that both of you used the same theme of having Gwen and Regi reunited and Jaja is such a sweetheart despite her rough and tough exterior. I am glad Gwen and Regi appeared to have patched things  up and Jaja gaining  more allies along the way. She's got such a big heart.

InvaderDiz
Artist
10 comments
# 10   Posted: Sep 14 2020, 04:04 PM
Footini-
I really like the way you put this together. I like the colors.
If I had a critique it’s that it just feels like there might be too much going on, with too many characters. It’s hard to know who is doing what and why.

Gregly-
Tight writing and character design but the finished product looks sketchy and unfinished. I know it’s a lot of pages but presenting them as so sketchy kind of cheapens the experience. But still, it was pleasant to look at, and the style and character designs are great.

TheCydork
Artist
272 comments
# 9   Posted: Sep 13 2020, 04:44 PM
Aw, it was cute to see JaJa and Gwen being fighting buddies in both comics, AND encouraging Gwen and Regi to make up. Also cool to see your totally different takes on the resolution between Gwen and Regi!

Footini - This (mostly) monochrome came out really well! I dug Nopalito being in green, and the tones of blue you used for everything else were really nice. JaJa’s expression at the end of page 10 was great, and I love how she just read Gwen and Regi and then dipped with Nopalito haha.

This was also a great introduction to KJQ. I like that he already has a distinct voice, and you give us an idea of his story too with his manipulation on page 8. Really liked that meta moment on page 6 too where KJQ punches Gwen through another panel. I’d love to see more moments like this to really emphasise his toon nature.

A big thing for me was that with your style, I couldn’t tell which characters were toons or not. And tbh it’s a little weird that in-universe, the characters couldn’t either bc toons look very different from “real people”. Maybe try leaning into the rubber hose style more, or using black and white for toons while keeping colour, or maybe even using digital lines for one set of characters and traditional for another? Just something to differentiate them from your already naturally cartoony style. Also I had trouble orientating myself with this comic. The space was quite bare so I had no landmarks to get my bearings, and there’s not much perspective. For instance, I actually couldn’t tell Regi was on a roof on page 2 until my third read, and I don’t know how KJQ disappeared on page 9. Was that a manhole?

Also I agree, the argument immediately after KJQ was down felt out of nowhere and kinda jammed in. I personally don’t think it was a great choice to have Nopalito give a spiel in Spanish either. If it’s important to the story, the reader shouldn’t have to leave and type things up into Google translate to understand (as unfortunately the majority of users are English-based). However, I did like other parts of the story, like Gwen not accepting Regi’s apology. It feels more realistic and makes sense given the length and intensity of their feud.

Gregly - I’m in love with your pencils! That first page with all the rock shards and smoking buildings is just *chefs kiss*, and the characters were always very easy to read if a little rough around the edges. I particularly enjoyed the sketchy little demons - even if I couldn’t make out their features, their energy really shone through, and those fight scenes were so lively. JaJa also looks great in your style!

Gwen’s outburst towards JaJa felt super sudden. She yells immediately at the offer of help, but then suddenly changes her tune and says JaJa CAN help. It’s a bit of a whiplash. I can understand her yelling at Regi since he’s implied that she’s incapable or needs help over and over, but a stranger simply asking if she needs help? And the sudden switch to “yes actually I want help :)”? Felt very abrupt to me. The resolution also felt a bit too convenient, especially with the mention of “the power of friendship”.

snager
Artist
53 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 11 2020, 02:06 PM
Hey guys!

Footini, there's still blurriness happening with your line art - i already mentioned asking Heathen how he takes nice pictures of his lineart/inks with a camera, maybe he can help you out. But the craftsmanship on your word bubbles has two problemos for me: placement/sizing considerations, how they look with the rest of the art and layout. but mostly the lettering. we can see where you did lettering guides for your bubbles, which is righteous and good craftsmanship and where you penciled in letters then went to erase them: but they didn't get fully erased (maybe it's time to invest in some art supplies?). However, it should be noted that you've shown improvement in your craftsmanship/draftsmanship from when I read your early Saal comics, so keep that up! just remember: attention to detail matters. yes, we're only supposed to spend 2 seconds looking at each panel, but you want that to be a SMOOTH 2 seconds with no snags. (hey, that's MY name!)

story also needed some work: there were parts that dragged, scenes that didn't read clearly: for instance, I was confused when Regi entered the story and from whence he came. Dare to compare to Gregly's version of the same concept: They managed to kiss (keep it simple, stupid): two friends are arguing and Jaja arbitrates. Regi and Gwen's arguments during the fight sequences kind of threw off the pacing.

I do like how outside the box you're getting with your layouts- just try to bare in mind that sometimes a speech-bubble counts as a panel.

OH and I like how this counts as a shadow-intro for A CERTAIN SOMEONE~!

Gregly: I don't care that it's 'just pencils' or that it looks like you started working straight to ink in graphite. you said to yourself 'this is who I'm fighting and this is how many pages it has to be, so this is how many corners I need to cut to be on their level and finish a cohesive story.' I like the directional mark-making you used in lieu of color a lot! it helps to show direction/movement/action of a figure. I'd like to see you keep that shading style any time you do any shading in the future, if it isn't too hard. the only thing is i think you could have tightened up and darkened some of the outlines more, or made your shading lines more concise. and maybe wider gutters to give those lighter shades more breathing room.

I like what y'all both did in these toony styles, so don't stop toonin'~

Energy
Artist
132 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 10 2020, 03:02 PM
Foot:  A few spelling errors here and there, but I enjoyed your comic.  These clowns be... ahem... clowning around too much, hehehehehehehe...

Greg:  Not sure why Gwen and Regi spend almost half the comic arguing, but this was a great read with a heartwarming conclusion.

Footini
Artist
54 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 9 2020, 07:07 PM
I want to give a big thank you to Putrid who helped with the Spanish translation for Nopalito.

And another big thanks to Gregly for the battle.  This was a fun one for me.

Footini
Artist
54 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 9 2020, 07:06 PM
Bobo:  I also love how Nopalito comes out of nowhere and is a color that stands out so much from the rest of the cast in the comic. I'm not sure what made you choose him of all possible replacement sidekicks, but it was fun nonetheless. I assume part of it was the surprise introduction of King Jack, which was a fun twist!


It was solely because every character of Ran2's must try to shoot JaJa at some point.
Better luck next time Nopalito


Quote

Bobo
Web Dev
947 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 9 2020, 04:32 PM
Spoiler: Footini • show
Okay, first off, I laughed very much out loud at seeing the "THIRD" taped on to "THIRD BANK OF VOID CITY"! I also love how Nopalito comes out of nowhere and is a color that stands out so much from the rest of the cast in the comic. I'm not sure what made you choose him of all possible replacement sidekicks, but it was fun nonetheless. I assume part of it was the surprise introduction of King Jack, which was a fun twist! Your art felt a bit rough overall, but I really enjoyed the writing. I love how JaJa is the voice of reason to force Gwen and Regi to make up. I also love how the ending sort of leaves it vague what happens next. A fun moment of tension with so much potential for follow-up.

Spoiler: Gregly • show
You know I'm always hype for a G+R comic! It's too bad arma got extended, but that almost makes this more interesting just because now the readers are working with the same level of knowledge about the event as you were. And the joke would have maybe been confusing if you hadn't mentioned the relative time this was supposed to go up, but I think it still works either way!

Honestly, I think literally my only problem with this comic is that it's rough. But 18 pages in 3 weeks is more than I could do at this quality unless I like quit my job or something, so I can't ding you too much for that. I love that you can sort of get away with this because your linework is so clean and your handwriting is so easy to read.

One of the first things I notice is all the detail you put into your backgrounds. The devastation on the city is so palpable with buildings crumbling and tilted at odd angles, street lights and cars in the wrong places; it's all so good! Also, wtf Regi being trapped under a rock for a week and completely missing the events of Armageddon is brilliant holy cow. Honestly, I just love the writing in all of this. I love your sense of humor, and the way you just lightly break the fourth wall. I always have fun reading your comics, and this is such a perfect example of why. Can't wait to kick ass with you in TTT!

Gregly
Artist
134 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 9 2020, 03:26 AM
Uploaded! My comic takes place shortly after armageddon 2020 ends--before the extension on that, this would have gone up three or so days after the arma comics went up. I post this because there's one (almost funny) joke that may not make much sense... you'll know when you see it. Enjoy~

Shen
Artist
1320 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 29 2020, 05:47 PM
This should have way more hype it sounds amazing!!!

yarnwitch
Artist
302 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 27 2020, 10:09 AM
*vibrates excitedly*

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Sep 16th, 2020
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 402
Winner: Gregly
 

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