Things You Find in a Graveyard / Zhanic Hanalei

Things You Find in a Graveyard / Zhanic Hanalei

Things You Find in a Graveyard — Zhanic Hanalei

Icon for Zhanic Hanalei
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: argil, garland, garland steelestring, gulra, iain, iain mactavish, zhanic, zhanic hanalei




Critiques & Comments
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Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1111 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 9 2020, 10:06 PM
plot buildin'! plot buildinnnnnn'! =0

I really enjoyed this whole tale! I at first was a little weirded out over the unnecessary magical work to make what turned out to be google maps, but as the read wore on, I got to understand this was google maps on steroids finding someone in specific. I do wish there was more initial emphasis on the spell itself and a zoom in on the success to better relay what had happened. Still ,the effort on linking various character plots together, the backgrounds, environments and Garlands sweet crib were all pretty great ot see. Looking forward to where this goes!

Footini
Artist
52 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 9 2020, 02:05 PM
Storywise, this is a solid interim comic that shows some interesting plot developments.  Little light humor, little dark humor, and all round and even that angst we like seeing on void.

The colors are the most impressive thing here art wise.  Lighting and the general palette makes for a nice looking comic.
Though the actual posing could have used some better foreshortening and yea, many of the angles are kind of flat.  It's mostly just head on shots and profiles.  
Maybe wouldn't have gone with the texture filter that seems to be on top of everything.  It just kind of seems to be there just to make the images more busy and not really adding much to the art.

Garland, don't you do this to Zhanic.
He's too pure.

Rivana
Artist
165 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 9 2020, 06:42 AM
Great collab. I think you two work great together.Love the use of textures and shading here.   I kinda predicted the twist due to my prior knowledge of Zhanic but it's a great twist nonetheless and a good development in his story. Hope to see more.

Happy September 18th! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
303 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 8 2020, 11:33 PM
nice to see zhanic getting his story developed! i love all the warm mood-setting colors in the first couple of pages. the one thing i'm unhappy about writing-wise is this new muskrat character; there's a lot to them that hasn't been explained, like why they are part dirt and have a coffin on their back and have different "forms" over which they have limited autonomy, and you can do that, but the way they've been presented feels like i'm not meant to ask these questions, that i already know who they are. we even get their internal monologue! i wanna say i just missed their intro in one of your comics but i swear i've read them all...

i've got less important visual nitpicks. putting big textures over comics like they're on paper can look nice, but this particular one honestly just looks like i'm viewing the comic through a light layer of smoke, and i think it only serves to drown out the parts of the comic where you're already using a unique texture. when there's flat or square objects in the background, especially on the first page, the comic also really gravitates towards presenting their face parallel to the camera, but side askew, which looks very... diagrammatical. i wish you'd allow things to have a little more tilt towards the camera because they'd feel much more lively and real, like the excellent trees later on. and even more nitpicky... the map puts the graveyard smack dab in the middle of the city, yet over the walls there's nothing visible but sky. zhanic ought to only be a few yards away from some kind of buildings!

still, it's a good comic, and a good collab!

snager
Artist
51 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 8 2020, 09:57 PM
Cute comic, guys! at least, up until the end of page 3. after that, things get a little over-involved. maybe a lot of stuff meant for long-time readers/followers/rp partners that leaves everyone else behind? but the little ditty about how magic works in this world and the story of someone using it to innocently try to find a loved one, then getting corrected by a ghost - that was all good stuff! the ghost is cute at the end of page 3, esp. but then we're introduced to someone who seems to be like, some kind of jerk who kidnaps people and makes them think they're his own creations? kind of throws off the mood.

then you introduce terms like 'doll' and 'doll house' that lost me.  though the longer I hang out in the Void community, the more I pick up, I still wonder how new readers are supposed to get into comics that left off somewhere we don't know about. ;-; course I have the same problem trying to find serieses at the comic shop that are still in trade paper back singles.

but for the art: really nice balanced color pallet! it's nice to see the thumbnails and note the progression from gold to pink to green to blue. It's nice to see someone put so much tender care into their flats and textures and everything, with such a time crunch especially!

Flytee
Artist
143 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 6 2020, 06:10 PM
Great job guys! I really liked the writing here! You pulled me into the story straight away and actually managed to make me feel uneasy more then once
The twist at the end was well handled and the hints of Garlands plans for Talon were...unsettling.

Art wise, My favorite page was easily 5, I think it had the most creative layout and some of your best art. It was also nice to see more detailed backgrounds compared to past Zhanic comics. Overall there was a nice polish on the art here, everything felt finished and like you both put a lot of effort in, I think that elevated some of the slightly off perspective and anatomy.

This was a very enjoyable read! I'm keen to see where it goes.



TheCydork
Artist
261 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 5 2020, 12:29 AM
Honestly this was such a rollercoaster. I started with “aw, cute :)” and then “aw :( dead” and then o h  g o d  n o. I liked the revisiting of Zhanic’s first attempt, and the horrible horrible result of his wish technically being true (sibling “alive” after all) but in the totally wrong way. Visually, there were a tonne of little details I liked, like the big painting of Garland and Juniper, but also the little photo of Talon on the wall. It’s like he’s a “trophy” before he’s even been turned into a doll, or just, something along the lines of a stalker having photos of their target up. It’s pretty damn unnerving. I also liked Gulra’s design.

The texture was nice in sometimes, giving the environments some good depth and vibe, but on the characters it could be overbearing at times, such as on page 5 on Argil. Also be careful with angles. A couple of the more dynamic shots such as Zhanic running into the graveyard on page 2 panel 2, or Garland walking down the stairs on page 5 look a bit awkward, as does the shot of Iain’s jaw from below on page 1.

Symon_says
Artist
167 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 2 2020, 06:58 PM
Nice work to both of you. Now I am itching to see more! Garland is so dastardly. Poor Zhanic just wants some kin. Really enjoyed this!

Heavenbat
Artist
131 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 2 2020, 03:49 PM
This has been almost an entire year in the making, lol. First off I wanna thank Arts so much for working with me on this, and for coming up with this fun idea with me :'D Arts, you're a champ, and I'd love to collab with you in the future. I learned a lot of new techniques!!

As far as the division of labor goes, Arts and I both worked on the script, with Arts coming up with the bulk of the initial idea and me doing some editing/tweaking! Arts then did the thumbs, I did the sketches, he did the inks (and turned my scribbles into some really badass backgrounds), I did the flats, and then we both worked on the shading.

Hopefully you'll be seeing more of the two characters introduced in this comic! Argil's got some fun stuff going on, and I have Plans for Gulra, hehe. Let's just say he was a willing doll ;P

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 9th, 2020
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 228
 

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