Hell to Pay / Kazue L. Burns, Morgan Maruyama, and "Eva"

Hell to Pay / Kazue L. Burns, Morgan Maruyama, and "Eva"

Hell to Pay — Kazue L. Burns, Morgan Maruyama, and "Eva"

by Energy

Icon for Kazue L. BurnsIcon for Morgan MaruyamaIcon for
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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# 6   Posted: Aug 16 2020, 10:48 PM
I like how you have used the Arma event for a beyond battle to show us uninitiated folks what your characters are all about! Also, pretty good use of gray tones.

Mister Kent
# 5   Posted: Aug 16 2020, 09:48 PM
It's was cool to see all the ladies together, and it was a nice tie-in to the ARMA event! I hope to see them in action more before Eva has to leave the mortal realm. I think you've improved your figures quite a bit since I last read your work, now I look forward to seeing more background work, maybe even some debris like Symon said :D

# 4   Posted: Aug 14 2020, 04:56 PM
Its been a long time since I've seen your stuff and I can see improvement! I hope to see more of these ladies!

# 3   Posted: Aug 13 2020, 11:50 PM
Voted!  I like Kazue's movement of her head on page 6, as it keeps her looking "alive" even when action isn't taking place. Unfortunately, page 3 is confusing because there isn't any indication what is wrong or what was expected, and the final page seems unfinished, making the comic seem unfinished. Based on the panels, it seems like there should be some kind of dialogue or change in environment to attract the characters attention that is not indicated to the readers.

# 2   Posted: Aug 13 2020, 02:16 PM
What horrid creatures lie in wait beyond those window panes?

Don't be afraid to add a little debris or smoke or some details of the background here and there. Experiment and have some fun with it! A couple of establishing shots would be ideal as well. Try to put yourself in the scene and arrange the characters accordingly. Use irl bottles or placeholders to figure out the backdrop and the distance between characters. It's good to see all your ladies coming together in this time of unrest.

Stretching them art muscles in the right direction, keep it up!

# 1   Posted: Aug 10 2020, 06:02 PM
Congrats on finishing a comic, and relatively fast too! That Eva suddenly exists in a more physical state as opposed to being a ghost because Hell had collided with Void is a genuinely creative and interesting take, hopefully you explore that in later comics.

Your backgrounds are definitely improving, but they’re still very bare and I often am not sure what I’m looking at. The first panel I’m guessing is supposed to be a damaged Void city, but it looks more like random shapes. There should be far more buildings, and Hell is here! Show us some fire, or demons, or just people in general! This isn’t a city under attack, this is a handful of buildings in the middle of an empty clearing. There is no sense of depth to the scenes either. Characters often stay the same size even when they’re different distances away from the camera, and the backgrounds look 2D with little use of perspective to give volume. Do you use photoshop? Because I know a trick that helps so much with perspective, so if you use it, DM me and I can show you.

Also I’m.. not quite sure what is happening at points in the story? Morgan seems to be talking to a Minotaur and then he suddenly attacks. Why? On the last page, we see all characters faces and then them looking at... a broken window? A window with crowds outside? I can’t read their expressions or what they’re supposed to be looking at.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 16th, 2020
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 262

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