Kaihou Jushi vs. MalByte

Kaihou Jushi vs. MalByte

Kaihou Jushi vs. MalByte

Icon for Kaihou Jushi50.2%
457 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques


Icon for MalByte49.8%
453 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
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Critiques & Comments
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Rursus
Artist
8 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 9 2020, 04:54 PM
17- The formatting is somewhere between page and scroll but not quite either. Despite this, I understand the choice of wanting scrolling like the rain falling, and page-turns on specific beats. There's something there. Because of the panels being close to each other and with that similar palette throughout, I'd say work on staging in the sense of... where do you want eyes drawn towards? Whether it be detailing, colors, so forth. There's lots of tools you have in your box, clearly. It seems the main note is the breadth of this comic came at the cost of polish. What stands out most for me in that regard would be the lettering, in terms of placement and size, but I like the style of color and transparency. Thankfully, that's the quickest fix.


Katsura- What a well-considered use of limited palettes. When a color makes an appearance, it's put to vital use. The yellow on the face really turns the form and sets mood, for instance. The colored lineart also helps with the tone, such as what you've got going in rendering the furniture. The inset paneling really adds a nice touch to the pace, conflict, and just storytelling in general. Stealing the case behind their back being behind the panels is clever. However, places where the art bleeds instead of meeting a gutter has that cropped-out feeling when the speech bubbles are also being cut out. The expressions are there, but sometimes I don't understand why the text suggests Jushi caught what the opponents were up to, but is smiling throughout like that's a good thing and speaking through their teeth, such as the end of page 5.

Happy September 21st! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
304 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 8 2020, 11:52 PM
17: this is a heck of a lot of nice painterly stuff to do in two weeks! this is a fun little story, i love how kaihou acts in it, the action scene in general is just very nice and rain just looks really nice, i'm a sucker for rain scenes. i'm a big fan of the comic! i just wanna know... why you made it in traditional comic pages, but then stacked them on top of each other as if it were an endless scrolling comic all along...  it feels like it loses out on the benefits of both formats.

katsura: the limited palette looks real nice in your style, and dang i am digging all these designs you're dropping in!! but as much as i dig them, i think it's a little unfortunate this comic is all about these new characters, and not really either of the actual battlers. that doesn't mean i didn't enjoy it though, because i super did!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
434 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 8 2020, 06:49 PM
Seventeen; this was a fun interaction between the two characters and I like the how Jushi flip flops between cocky and then not cocky. While your style is cool you could add some more contrast in moments of action to give them a stronger impact as well as some more clarity in those moveoments as well to show their important. I do also like how you're building up a new villain character in this. good job with this

Ky: I love this inking style and also MalBytes expression, the small pointy teeth smile is great and I wish we saw more of it. also the side character you introduced in this comic is really interesting and I want to see more of them. I did have one composition crit in that on the bottom of page one it sounds like the dad is talking about the group in the middle and everything (the dad's finger, the middle guys eyes and jushi's eyes) on those first two panels point towards the back of the prymid head. So when i first read it I thought they were the ones watching MalByte. while the ending was abrupt I still enjoyed this story and interested in the quantum threads.

TheCydork
Artist
272 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 7 2020, 07:17 PM
Seventeen - Big agree with Batty, the rain looks awesome. I love the little splashes of white on and around the tiles, it’s amazing how such a small detail and give the impression of the water bouncing off so well. I also enjoyed your take on Malbyte, almost like her alter ego was a magical girl transformation.

However I’m getting that similar muddy vibe I did in your previous comic, but worse. Not only is everything mostly brown or grey here, but the values are pretty similar so I find individual characters hard to pick out beyond rough blobs of shape. For instance, the first few panels on page 1 and page 6. The story overall didn’t do it for me either, I think Heathen got it way better than I could explain.

Also I gotta ask, why not just upload these as 18 pages? Each page was long, but didn’t feel like a webscroll format and I could see that individual pages were clearly defined within each stacked one.

Katsuraky - Okay I loved this. Your limited palette, spot blacks and scratchy lines made the comic feel very sharp, I also love the establishing shot of the bar. MAD.ame is super cool, and ah man. I just really liked this comic XD The way you draw hands and expressions too, yes. My only gripe is that the ending felt very abrupt.

Heavenbat
Artist
131 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 7 2020, 03:32 AM
17: Your atmospheres are absolutely fantastic, especially once the rain hits! And the painterly style is really pretty to look at--when it's properly refined. There are a few places where the colors and details are less defined, and sometimes this ends up happening in panels where there's a lot of action--which is when it's most important to have maximum clarity. Story-wise, this was a cute little comic with some fun interactions; Jushi felt very much like an immature anime protagonist, which was amusing in contrast with Byte's more straightforward personality.
My only real gripe is that this feels like a bit of a lost opportunity; Jushi had her hands on a reality-altering thread for a brief period of time, which seems like it'd be the perfect opportunity for some reality-warping shenanigans as Jushi messes with something she knows nothing about!

Katsuraky: I really like most of this limited color palette--the gold, red, and purple are so nice as accent colors! My only complaint is with the blue; imo it just didn't feel like it went with the other colors, and it gave the bar/diner a weird atmosphere. I think a warmer, darker hue would've worked better and would've also made the scene feel seedier. As is it kind of feels less like a couple of shady deals going on in a shady bar and more like... talking about doing Crimes in a dentist office? I don't think it helps that from the shots we get, the crooks and MalByte's group are the only two groups of people, which seems like it'd make things a lot harder to pull off. Seems like the crooks would've also noticed the two other patrons constantly watching them!

Art-wise, though, I have no complaints. Your action is really good and your characters are fun to look at. Really digging MAD.ame's whole design and schtick! Honestly I'd love to see more of her, lol.

Symon_says
Artist
167 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 4 2020, 11:56 AM
So cool. An old world drunkard and a new world addict having interactions is always a fun twist! Nice work.

Number-seveenteen -
Spoiler: show
Please do continue the Capgras interactions and the sort. It helps to give the world content and a lived in feel. I am enjoying your work so far! Keep it up.


Katsuraky -
Spoiler: show
Malbyte has got some big ego friends and it kind of makes Malbyte feel like a side character. But that can be a neat play on with her striving for popularity and the such. Hackers everywhere. Get them threads!

snager
Artist
53 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 4 2020, 11:46 AM
I like how you both established the old adage: Never bring a knife to a gun fight. also, how dumb Jushi is. Smarter characters are more of a challenge to write and also sometimes less fun to listen to. So seeing Jushi like this makes her seem more approachable and inviting to battle.

Everyone's art is looking good. 17, work on finding a way to lead our eyes to the action that has the most relevance - It took me a couple tries to understand MalBytes teleported a gun into her hand. And Jushi said she 'catched' the string and i'm not sure if she's a legit usage error or if she's just dumb OR if this is supposed to mean she's not a native english speaker. I'm taking it to mean she's just kinda dumb, like she went to school in America and got all the way to 8th grade without ever realizing 'catched' is not a word. just a hint of real-ness. I know highschoolers like that. It's also so great that you put them in a fight in the rain, just to make things more interesting.

Katsuraky, I love your inks SO much. your spot blacks, your color splashes. everything looks so nice. and you're so good at communicating action. VERY professional, AGAIN. props. I liked the way you introduced Madame and also left room to establish some characterization for Jushi. You left room for us to ask questions about what MalByte's deal is. Can't wait to see more of her and her. ORGANIZATION?

Heathen
Artist
378 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 3 2020, 01:32 PM
Seventeen: I really like how moody and atmospheric this is, though I would like the art to be a bit tighter. The painterly style is cool, but it gets so loose sometimes that it looks more like the line art layer was turned off. You clearly have a grasp of gesture and form, but your style may be too forgiving of mistakes. Your fight scene also lacked any impact at all. I liked that Jushi simply wanted to keep the thread because Malbyte (foolishly) told her it was valuable, but then she just stood still while Malbyte unloaded machine guns at her, showing wanton disregard for collateral damage and human casualty (as well as a Storm Trooper degree of inaccuracy. Maybe they were warning shots... into a likely occupied building...) The alternating sniveling and cockiness by Jushi that ensues, culminating in a gag,  makes the whole comic come off silly, and I didn't connect with either character. A good effort overall, but it fell a little flat for me.

Katsuraky: Great character designs, great acting, I really love your inclination towards cartoony iconography with huge beads of sweat to show nerves, speed lines to indicate the jerk of a head. Even your cool characters show complex emotions like doubt and nervousness, it reminds me a bit of Paul Pope in that way. I had no issue with your panel compositions, I never questioned the reading order or got confused. I agree the art feels a little unpolished, but it's very dynamic. Really, my only issue is with the abrupt ending. I feel like you ran into the deadline and had more you wanted to do. It's a bit of a checkmate, sure, and the thieves aren't killers, but the encounter feels unresolved. I really dig your storytelling, but wanted at least one more page, or even just have Malbyte knock Jushi out and they escape.

PutridVodka
Artist
22 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 2 2020, 02:12 PM
Seventeen - I -love- the ambience your comic has! MalByte looks so COOL in your art style! And I adore how shameless Jushi is. The ending left me on the edge of my seat, can't wait to see what happens next!

Katsuraky - The colors were such a feast to the eyes, very fitting with the whole vibe. MalByte is such a badass! I wonder what will happen with Mafius next! Loved the different body shapes each character has. Tasty stuff!

Elyan
Artist
107 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 2 2020, 11:37 AM
seventeen: well this was pretty damn cool. entertaining but lacking actual story. ok the reveal of this villainess at the end is intriguiing. but tbh for Kaihou Jushi this is actually the right format. Artwise is pretty damn nice. it lacks some polish and maybe a little more contrast/lighting  play but all in all very nice to look at.

Katsuraky: Is it just my impression or have you been rushing this? all in all it looks like you made an effort to get out a polished look but neglected panel composition for it.
I like the setup and the actual scene but this being the follow up from your previous comic i expected something more exciting. I really liked your flat colors and use of colors though.  
I am super curious what this stuff about threads is about though :D

Petrichor
Artist
42 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 19 2020, 11:29 AM
WHAAT i would've never see this matchup coming, i'm so hyped for this!!
good luck to you two! you both rule!!

Footini
Artist
54 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 18 2020, 09:31 PM
one of my favorite returning characters and one of the best new ones.
Can't wait for this cybersamurai fight.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 9th, 2020
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 381
Winner: number-seventeen
 

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