Count Burmeister vs. Eri

Count Burmeister vs. Eri

Count Burmeister vs. Eri

Icon for Count Burmeister100%
262 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques


Icon for Eri0%
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Critiques & Comments
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Crocostyle
Artist
51 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 17 2020, 02:01 PM
Belated thanks for your critiques and understanding!  Indeed my comic went through many last-minute omissions as it was originally longer and had more dialogue to flesh out what happened.  That’s why some scenes really don’t flow right now. Anyways I will definitely look into improving my workflow!  I’ll talk to ppl individually soon as I can.

Happy September 21st! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
304 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 11 2020, 11:26 PM
pizza: quick comment, but this is a cool story! i like the nuance in the relationship with eri here, it's fun! a ton of cutely composed panels as well!

Brobin_Dragon
Artist
33 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 11 2020, 11:21 PM
Voted!
Definitely more curious about his backstory now, nice!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
434 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 11 2020, 07:58 PM
Pizza: nice story you have here it's cool to see more about his personality in this. the sizing thing is something you can fix, when scanning make sure to scan at 300 DPI at least then downsize if needed.

Artwise the main thing you should work on in your draftsmanship is your proportions and breaking down the figure into 3d shapes. With count you're reasonable consistent but with Eri the shapes you're using and her size changes throughout the comic. A big part of understanding proportions is being able to make sure everything on the body looks correct in relation to everything else, for example the width of the arms compared to the width of the neck. You don't have to go realistic with your characters, but studying from some realistic proportions like the Loomis method will help in figuring out how to keep your characters consistent even if you choose to not follow those proportions. One thing i do like in your style is your hands, there's something nice about the shapes you choose for them.

good luck with future comics and practicing stuff.

TheCydork
Artist
272 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 7 2020, 06:33 PM
Pizza - Oh, I really like his reason for fighting! I was wondering when you were gonna incorporate his bug side more into his current self. Not sure if this was intentional or not, but I read his punches as being weak because he’s still not used to a human body, which was also cool, though I would like to see more of the dissonance between his praying mantis and human/vampire side.

The background perspective was quite wonky, and I’m not the best at explaining why, but be careful with how you use space. For instance, on page 2, the final panel has a lot of empty space, but other panels felt very cramped. I was also confused by the sudden location switch to the alley and Eri’s return. I don’t think there were enough panels in between or a clear show of her leaving in the first place.

Croco - Oh dude that sucks. I know how easy it is to lose track of time when working, may I suggest setting alarms like half an hour before the deadline, 20 minutes, 10 etc. to remind yourself? That’s how I deal with it.

Heavenbat
Artist
131 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 7 2020, 02:46 PM
Pizza: Hopefully you learn from this and get your pages a bit bigger next time! Luckily if I read this on my phone I can zoom in enough to read it, more or less. While I appreciate that you used a font for the text, the juxtaposition of the digital text in the traditional bubbles was a bit odd, and there were a lot of times where the text didn't really fit inside the bubbles. I think it might work better next time if you make the bubbles themselves digital so that the text can fit in them better. I really liked the look into Burm's psyche and his motivations! Really fleshed him out as a character! I look forward to seeing where you go with his storyline!

Symon_says
Artist
167 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 5 2020, 05:57 PM
Pizza Man -
Spoiler: show
This was an interesting look at how the Count is adjusting to things. Refining those combat skills before taking it back to the arena, no doubt.

This peice was difficult to read at times and was a little confusing when Burmeister transitions into his clothes outside in the alley just before Eri returns. Eri hadn't really left in the previous panels so it also caused a slight head scratch. Maybe a full body or abdomen shot of him in the different attire in place of his forearms.

But I understand Burmeisters dissociation with his new body. Checking them hands to see if they've returned to insectoid state.

Will the Count find himself in trouble with the long sand arms of the law , will Eri have return visits from a Vampiric pig thug, or will Count Burmeister finally purchase a sword capable of handling his new found supernatural strength? Find out next time!

Keep it up!


Crocostyle -
Spoiler: show
Aw shucks. Distractions everywhere, even in your own creations! Can't wait to see that beyond battle. Woop woop

Crocostyle
Artist
51 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 4 2020, 08:26 PM
Yo, I wanna apologize again for not submitting my comic on time.  I was really dumb with my whole approach: spent too much time just making nice drawings instead of making completed stories, not rereading how the process works. It was a learning experience, and I will definitely know my priorities better next time.  Also, I'll submit my side as a BB soon! Thanks for your patience, everyone!

Pizza Man
Artist
15 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 4 2020, 08:16 AM
Sorry the text is really small on this one. I underestimated the management traditional comics needed and ended up poorly cropping most of these pages in the last ten minutes. Thanks to all the people who gave me pointers about speech bubbles that was definitely a big fault of mine in this comic as well. On top of that I'm open to all criticism so don't be afraid to be mean lol.

Also sorry to my opponent for what happened to them at submission time. I can safely say that they would've kicked my ass. I really hope they post their round as a beyond battle I saw the pages they posted and am definitely interested in seeing the whole story.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Aug 11th, 2020
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 238
Winner: Pizza Man
 

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