Mentor/Trainee Roulette / Rickter & Gus vs. Raven

Mentor/Trainee Roulette / Rickter & Gus vs. Raven

Mentor/Trainee Roulette — Rickter & Gus vs. Raven

46.1%
710 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: egg, raven, rickter, vampire


53.9%
830 points
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Crit level: No preference
tags: arena fight, gus, Miller, raven, rickter, rickter & gus, rocio, scourge, vampire




Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
149 comments
# 13   Posted: Jul 21 2020, 07:07 AM
This was such a ride. And many thanks are in order!

To the voters- You know who you are.! Thanks for voting on our battle!

To those who commented/left crits - Thank you for taking that extra step to comment on this battle. Those praises and criticisms are very much appreciated. The commendations are very heartwarming/encouraging  and I got very helpful pointers that I can carry over to my future battles. I always strive to get better and all this mean a lot to me. Thank you!

Fluffs (and Buggy by extension) - When I saw that Rickter and Gus did not have an intro comic, I was a bit in a panic mode but when I read their bio, I was immediately hooked on the character. I wish I added more banter between them actually as I was not sure how often or how much they argue lol. The fun dynamic they have in my mind was confirmed by your side of the comic. I am really looking forward to seeing more of them in Void.

I also love your take on Raven here! Your comic is short and sweet but showcased Raven's personality accurately. I love your use of varying angles too and I wish I was more brave to do that  in my own comics (and also taking note to do it on mine more). It's also interesting how she 'won' in your comic and  how Rickter/Gus won on mine. lol it's like we didnt want our characters to win XD

Pyras -  I probably thanked you 10000x by now but even that doesn't  feel enough. I didn't think I was ever capable of  finishing a sketched comic in one week and yet  here I am with 7 pages , inked, partially rendered and colored in monotone.

You're an excellent mentor and the knowledge you imparted to me about comic-making is invaluable. You answered every question I had and even took the time to explain to me some pointers about story telling when I asked even after the roulette was over. I got nothing but high praises for you  and I am very honored that you picked me as your trainee.

With that said, when is our rematch? =P Just kidding, I am not ready yet. But one day I hope to beat you in a battle >=D

TheCydork
Artist
223 comments
# 12   Posted: Jul 20 2020, 10:45 PM
Fluff - The concept of a person possessed by something who’s ALSO unwilling is really interesting to me, and I like Gus’s design. It was a good introduction to the pair - you established their situation within the first page, and Gus’s personality feels especially clear to me. I also dig the texture you used, it gives a nice gritty vibe.

However I agree with snager in that the story was pretty cliche and lacklustre. The action felt kind of disjointed, characters drastically changing positions without us seeing how they got there. For example, on page 1 Raven emerges from the portal facing Rickter, but then suddenly she’s walking away from him to be easily grabbed. At the end of page 2, Raven jumps back after biting Rickter, but is suddenly on the floor on page 3, with no indication of her falling or being off balance on the previous page. It’s also strange that Gus knows Raven’s magic is an illusion, when other magical users haven’t been able to tell. What does Gus have that allows him to see through her magic?

You do have me intrigued though. If it was intentional, why does Gus see through her magic? Why were they looking for portal users? I’m curious to see where this goes and learn the answers!

Rivana - Wow! I know you were worried about not being able to produce much in a 1-weeker, but this is really good, I don’t see much of a quality dip tbh aside from just less rendering. Congrats! I noticed you changed the palette from warm during the fight to cold while Raven was knocked out, I like that. It was a good way to subtly change the vibe. It’s also nice to see Raven and Rocio’s relationship actually develop “onscreen” as it were.

Onto crits: I read your comic first, and I didn’t realise Rickter was bleeding feathers until I read Fluff’s. It looks more like mist. Visually though, not much more to crit, I also didn’t think there was an issue with the bottles on the last page. Story-wise, again I agree with snager here in that the fight doesn’t really make sense. If Raven needed the money but wanted to be in hiding, why not use her illusions to look like somebody else? Why would she leave an acceptance letter out in the open. Hell, why would Rocio be snooping in her room to even see the note? It doesn’t feel like a situation they’d plausibly get into. The last page also felt very out of place.

I did enjoy the vibe of the fight though. This looser style makes the action read more clearly and feel more dynamic. And as I’ve said before, overall it feels more expressive than your more highly rendered painting style. I hope to see you try shorter battles again, maybe even a 24-hr one?

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
417 comments
# 11   Posted: Jul 20 2020, 10:16 PM
Fluff: Nice comic, you did good for a one weeker and I really like how you wrote all the characters. also Raven getting rid of him portaling him away was nice. One thing you should work on is composition and keep better track of characters locations in relation to each other. For example on page 2 panels 4 to 5 the transition is awkward because they switch sides, Rickter was on the left in the 4th panel then his hand on the right in the 5th reads a little awkward, this could be fixed by of having Rickter lurch back on to the right in the 4tth panel then he would be on the same side in both panels. Just a general thing to keep in mind for your compositions is you want to make sure your characters stay on the same sides of the compositions when you're changing your angles so the reader doesn't get hung up on the sudden orientation change.

Rivana: this is a lot of work done in one week and great job hopefully you can do more in the future since you have been mentioning struggling to get stuff done. Your art is amazing all around and all your characters look great, Previously you had some same face problems with Rocio and Raven but you did good making their faces distinct enough in this. One minor nitpick Is I feel you made ricktor too attractive, that may just be me but I think depending on their story and background some characters shouldn't be so attractive and chiseled and it will help make the pretty characters look better.
The biggest thing you should work on is your scene transitions both of them were very awkward in this, there are a lot of small ways you can fix this, one is doing a set of small receding rectangles to show either a character waking up or losing consciousness. The sandbox page felt added on and forced with no natural transition from rickters view, it may have worked better right after the hospital visit then rickters thing after that but I think  having a small hint of it with like some panel showing raven's consciousness going towards it would help a bunch with the transition. I look forward to seeing more comics.

Brobin_Dragon
Artist
26 comments
# 10   Posted: Jul 20 2020, 06:03 PM
I don't have much to say this time, so just: Good work everyone! ^u^

Flytee
Artist
132 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 20 2020, 04:47 AM
I just wanted to drop by to say Fantastic comics!
I'm shocked these are just 1 weekers, great job. Honestly based on what you both achieved in the time frame I don't have any crits.

side note Raven x Miller make a mighty fine couple, I'm curious to see where this goes. :P
 


Symon_says
Artist
147 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 19 2020, 09:44 PM
Fluffsamasprime - Oh those darn cults and all their shenanigans. Who thought a simple possession would go so wrong? Nice work! Rickter and Gus will have to be a little more charismatic in how they approach Void City portalmancers. Keep it up.

Rivana - That Sandbox, though. Is that inside Arena's head? This was a really cool comic. Very faint air of intrigue the entire time. Hope Raven is feeling well, soon.

snager
Artist
20 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 18 2020, 12:44 PM
fluff and Rivana: This is a hard call to make!

Rivana, you had some really nice art work and I enjoyed the little bit of world building we got to see, as well as the courteous foot-note to a previous comic(?) that talks about the 'sandbox.' It was nice to see the angel wings being a give-away to the characters' identities, because that makes me ask more questions. Why are they in hiding? why are they protecting each other? it's just a nice little hint of vulnerability. And Raven having a friend who cares about her kind of helps humanize her. However, I just don't buy that these two people would go to a cage fight: one trying to keep a low profile and the other having someone who doesn't want to see them hurt. Is money the only motivation or just the culture for the thrill of the sport in Void? I guess I'm okay with Raven losing since it actually just lead to us seeing what makes HER vulnerable - Rocio, who cares about her.

But I actually really liked the way Raven won in Fluff's comic. Its kinda cliche for her to get jumped in a dark ally way, but i like how in Void, you never want to jump ANYONE in a dark alleyway because almost everyone is a vampire or spider monster or something. It was a little confusing at first when Raven bit into him and he 'bled' feathers because they'd just got done talking about 'illusions' so i thought it was one of their own. but no, both comics make it clear the guy bleeds feathers. I am intrigued by this fact.

BOTH stories were pretty easy to follow and both characters distinct and nicely matched. good job, yall!


Rivana

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
27 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 16 2020, 03:23 PM
I wanna thank Buggy for being my mentor and keeping me on track!

Rivana and Pyras your comic was so much fun to read through! I love what you did with Rickter and Gus! All the effects you did looked so good! I love it!

Rikun
Artist
87 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 16 2020, 12:04 PM
This was an entertaining read from the both of you! It's great to see both of these characters progressing!

Fluff: This is a good first bout for Rickter so far and I'm curious to learn more. You've got a good grasp on using big, clear shapes to tell a story and I like that you're experimenting with various tones and shading from the get go! My biggest piece of advice is to pay closer attention to 3d space since it seems some of your effects come off as flat (i.e. the portal and the splash in your last page). The banter between Gus and Rickter is great and I hope to see them again!

Riviana: Your art is always a treat, and even in a week I can see you're starting to find a happy medium between a simplified style while keeping the detail we know and love from you. I can also tell you're playing around with different camera shots and that's great!! I personally wish we could see more of the fight but since we only had a week I can understand the brevity. I'd love to see how you can pull off more action in future stories, and I wish you the best in that regard.

Rivana
Artist
149 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 16 2020, 06:54 AM
Thanks for the comments and crits so far!

Footini:

One critique I'll give, and you don't do it as much here, but sometimes with the narration and dialogue you do more telling than showing.  Or like the characters will repeat some of the same things they've said in previous comics.
Quote

Oh did you mean the narration about previous stuff that happened? I do that purposely for the benefit of first time readers. I always just make an assumption that nobody read my previous comics yet so I tend to describe previous events if they are relevant. Another way I do this is the asterisk * and a reference to what comment it happens. It's something I've seen in the old comicbooks I read.  

It's very helpful if you have a continuing story for the character as opposed to one-stop/gag comic. I plan for Raven to have continuity in her story so I keep track of everything that has happened to her canon but I don't expect everyone who reads my comics to so the extra narration. It does might seem repetitive to some who already follow her but yeah it's for the benefit of first time readers :)


Stormcrow:

last page; I know it's meant to be a strange otherworldly place but it looks a little rushed compared to the previous places and things like the bar just sort of abruptly disappearing in the shot with Miller is a bit off-putting, same with the bottles kind of being half-transparent sketches over a brick texture, it feels a little unfinished.
Quote

Noted! Yeah that last page is actually a  bonus page . Something that we added if we got some time (and we did) and is actually more of a teaser.


While my impression from other comments is that you're fighting brand-new characters here and that always makes story tougher, I do feel a little like the story of yours feels a little unfocused on your opponent. I feel like you could have sort of slotted in any opponent and had it make just as much sense, while the story itself felt more about Raven's relationship with Rocio than who she was fighting.
Quote

I disagree in this one actually. There was plenty of focus on Rickter and Gus's plight here (though it can be expected that there's a focus more on Raven, it's her side of the comic after all). But his hiding of identity, the display that how he had this entity within him that he speaks to, how he heals through his injuries but not after wings sprouted from the wound, his spectacular lightning abilities and the possible continuing story of him now being found out/broadcasted.

I thought there was plenty of focus on their specific story that you can't just put in anyone in his place. Imagine putting a character like Itami with the same scenes depicted. It just wouldn't work.

But yeah agree to disagree :)

Also IS MILLER BACK FROM THE DEAD AND NOBODY TOLD ME, the last page felt a little randomly thrown on.
Quote

It's a teaser/bonus page as mentioned (no obvious relation to the story except that it is a continuing arc for Raven's Sandbox adventures from Homeward  Bound.) Plenty of comics I read in the 90s do this so maybe it's too old school for a lot of people now lol

And Miller's reappearance was not explained on purpose. He's supposed to be showing up in the Sandbox and (possibly) all over Void randomly. Pyras is going to expand on that on his own.  So it's meant to baffle a lot of people at the moment and I expect the truth to just unravel eventually.

Stormcrow
Artist
67 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 13 2020, 11:05 PM
Fluffs - I liked this quite a bit! Your action and posing are pretty good here, and I appreciate that you weren't afraid to go for more action-y shots with your boy. I liked how you framed your shots with a variety of angles and perspectives, it's refreshing to see that you're not playing it safe by keeping things on an even level; pushing yourself with worms-eye and birds-eye will definitely do you good and it looks like you're not afraid of diving right into that. Your framing of shots has a nice beat-by-beat feel and takes good advantage of the webtoons format that everyone seems to be so fond of lately. One thing I would recommend is committing a bit more to backgrounds. I know this was on a tight deadline and you were making sure you got it all done, but sometimes it can feel a little sparing on the context of the setting and that's a shame because I felt like that establishing shot had really nice potential. Even just a little bit of detailing to show them in a sketchy alley could definitely help set the scene.

Rivana- I know that in your personal work you lean more towards painterly so it's exciting seeing that you've learned to streamline a more brushed-line style for comics efficiency, and it looks great! The touch-of-color grayscaling is attractive to look at and suits your work and strong sense of lighting nicely. Not much to critique on the art here, other than maybe that last page; I know it's meant to be a strange otherworldly place but it looks a little rushed compared to the previous places and things like the bar just sort of abruptly disappearing in the shot with Miller is a bit off-putting, same with the bottles kind of being half-transparent sketches over a brick texture, it feels a little unfinished.
While my impression from other comments is that you're fighting brand-new characters here and that always makes story tougher, I do feel a little like the story of yours feels a little unfocused on your opponent. I feel like you could have sort of slotted in any opponent and had it make just as much sense, while the story itself felt more about Raven's relationship with Rocio than who she was fighting. Also IS MILLER BACK FROM THE DEAD AND NOBODY TOLD ME, the last page felt a little randomly thrown on.
Overall though, very pretty to look at! Just wished the story felt a bit more cohesive.

Really nice work to you both!

Footini
Artist
35 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 13 2020, 08:43 PM
Fluff: I dug this introduction to your new characters.  I liked Rickter's big hulking frame and the shapes you were able to make with him.  Very expressive and fun.  Your faces really do give off a lot of personality.  Also Raven's nickname got a laugh.  

Rivana: Really liking the way you use minimal color and the lighting for this comic.  Despite you saying it's relatively simple grayscaling it's very effective for giving the panels a bit of mood.  Also just the use of silouhettes and posing makes for some really fun panels
One critique I'll give, and you don't do it as much here, but sometimes with the narration and dialogue you do more telling than showing.  Or like the characters will repeat some of the same things they've said in previous comics.  But the story is solid and works pretty well.

Fluffsamasprime
Artist
27 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 11 2020, 10:36 AM
I'm super psyched for this!!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 20th, 2020
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 721
Winner: Rivana and PyrasTerran
 

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