My Own Worst Enemy / Tyidid vs. The Abominable Dr. Hoang

My Own Worst Enemy / Tyidid vs. The Abominable Dr. Hoang

My Own Worst Enemy — Tyidid vs. The Abominable Dr. Hoang

Icon for Tyidid50.2%
325 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques


Icon for The Abominable Dr. Hoang49.8%
323 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: yvonne, yvonne ytime




Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
191 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 11 2020, 09:42 AM
I voted before the deadline this is just a late comment ^^

Hats off to you for doing this. I am very impressed. Your use of colors are so nice and pleasing to the eye. The humor is great too! I feel like I was legit watching a cartoon. :)

Once I get at least 2 chars maybe I can do something like this hah! Pretty inspiring.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
455 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 10 2020, 10:06 PM
This was a fun experiment, I really like your colors in both of these. since you mentioned having issues with writing yvonne I'll say I like the way she was written in the second comic more. the subtle sarcasm thing didn't work because she has so few ways to show suble displease with no voice or eyes for the reader to tell if she's being serious or not, so sarcasm sort of comes across as just a weird statement and sudden change in mood without either of those. also i lik eyou pushing your panels and poses with the action in the second comic as well. Good job

Footini
Artist
76 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 10 2020, 08:47 PM
Reecer- Man, this one made me laugh.  I really like the way you portrayed Reecer's character.

Reecer- Good job on replicating Reecer's style; this is some of the best art I've seen from both you and Reecer yet.

Symon_says
Artist
167 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 10 2020, 11:31 AM
Nice work, Reecer6! Both of these comics were entertaining and gave us an inner look into these two characters dealings. But at the end of both pieces I felt deprived of any progression or further incite. Perhaps the winning entry can be your next story to work on? Nevertheless, I'm happy to see some great work from you! Keep it up

Flytee
Artist
151 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 7 2020, 05:14 AM
I love the idea of fighting yourself xD Has this ever been done before?
All the positive feedback so far is spot on. Your have good colouring technique and its great how you manage to get these, virtually faceless characters to express emotion. There were some creative panelling choices as well. I do kinda wish you could have pushed it a bit further though, I'll explain-

I read both of these twice, trying to pinpoint why they didn't quite work for me on a writing level. I think I worked it out. For me there's a disconnect between your visual and the text. Your stories have a lot of slapstick, fast-talking characters and random happenstance plots. But your art style is actually quite sensible, the backgrounds are generic and mundane, the characters' proportions skew towards realism, the colours are whacky...but also muted. Its all quite reserved! Which I think, clashes with the types of characters and stories you write.

I can't help but wonder if your writing would hit the mark more if you took a more cartoony approach to the visuals? If you took the expressions, the wackiness and meta humour and dialled it up a notch?



SnowyMoth
Artist
52 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 6 2020, 10:16 PM
I mentioned this on Discord, but I am really liking the coloring technique that you used in these comics! I don't really have any real critiques about these that you yourself didn't put out already - they're both fun, silly comics, and they read well. I enjoyed reading these. ( :

Happy October 20th! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
310 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 5 2020, 12:50 PM
@cy: gonna address the serious thing first: ...that wasn't actually me giving an excuse, that was a joke. the "commonplace" thing i was referring to was juggling, not the whole of discontinuity, that would be real damn cynical. i just wanted to note i was aware it was a problem, my closest thing to an excuse was that at the time i noticed it, i didn't particularly value the continuity and i didn't think most readers would really care.

i can definitely understand that i write a little too quick. in hindsight, i still don't actually know how i want to write yvonne, and i guess "capricious" is what's come out of my scripts, but i haven't really established that because i've never actually thought about it. maybe if i just keep making yvonne rapidly change her mind in every comic... (that might be a joke but i'm not sure). i see where you're coming from in the tripping gag but i'm kinda married to it being so few panels—it wouldn't be as punchy if i threw in two or three more in there. i feel like the final gag here has to be punchy, since it's kind of acting as a bait and switch to the panel above, which works more like an ending as a similar panel does in the other comic. the only real compromise i'd be consider is just changing the composition of the last panel so it's more clear his legs aren't actually what's making impact.

TheCydork
Artist
299 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 5 2020, 01:51 AM
Spoiler: crit • show

Really good, detailed backgrounds here, and I enjoyed the artifact designs, particularly the green incense burner. Good colours too, everything is pretty vibrant and pleasant to look at. I haven’t seen much of Yvonne before, but her design is creative and I like how her horns and arms change shape to enhance the scene. I didn’t catch it the first time, but on a reread I saw them forming arrows and question marks and I thought that was fun. Also liked how Tyidid’s head acted as an “O” and completed the word “BONK” in the second comic.

I didn’t find the writing in these great though. Things happened kind of abruptly and randomly, and in both comics, things were set up that had muddled or no proper resolutions. For example, in the first comic, Yvonne is screeching at Tyidid to leave, but then follows him and immediately puts this unknown object in her mouth? And then is perfectly okay with giving away the artifacts she so vehemently defended for free? Meanwhile in the second, Yvonne tries to steal this artifact, there’s a conflict, then she just... doesn’t want it anymore and leaves. She also switches from “I want the thing” to “I want to beat you up” really suddenly, but then doesn’t even do that? “I want the object. Oh actually I don’t, I wanna beat you up. But actually I don’t wanna do that either, I’m just gonna leave. The end.” - this is how her thought process comes off.

As for what I mean by muddled... I’m guessing in the first comic, the joke was that Tyidid had seemingly no bad luck despite touching the cursed item, and then right at the end it suddenly comes back. That’s a good idea, but for me the joke didn’t hit because by tripping on a stone and falling, he was already experiencing an action that could’ve broken his legs, before he even touched the cursed teapot. It also has little buildup, with all the action post-trip crammed into a single panel. Yes, we as an audience can infer that he tripped, dropped the teapot, then caught it, which is why his legs are broken. However, if you’re telling a visual joke in a visual medium, you do kinda need to spell things out, because the condensed version here ruins the timing of the joke. What might’ve made it clearer and possibly funnier would be a few more panels in between the trip and the fall. Have him trip - not fall to the ground, just stumble - but being off balance, he drops the teapot and goes to catch it. You see him catch it, while still upright. And THEN in the final panel, his legs break, and he just crumples to the ground.

Also...

“"cro cro cro why is no one consistently holding anything between panels"
in all cases they are either putting things into their inventory or juggling them into the air with a dexterous hand. honestly, these sorts of occurrences are so commonplace in comics that you shouldn't need me to explicitly depict them juggling and/or interacting with a metatextual storage universe.”

...

Dude, I don’t think this attitude is helpful. First of all, in a comic where a specific item being touched or snatched is integral to the plots of both comics, I really don’t think you can use that excuse. Second of all, just cos something is commonplace doesn’t mean it’s good? Loads of comics have bad anatomy, I’m not gonna intentionally draw poorly bc it’s just a Thing in comics. And third, just, can you stop for a second and really think about what you’re doing? I see you consistently admit to errors in your comics, only to turn around and go actually, they’re not errors, they were done on purpose and it’s just meta stuff that should be obvious. You imply it’s the reader’s fault for not getting it, then you double down and repeat those errors. Why ask for critique at all if your comics apparently have no issues, and are clearly just too meta and advanced for the rest of us to understand?

Pizza Man
Artist
16 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 3 2020, 04:00 PM
Trust no one, not even yourself lol

Happy October 20th! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
310 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 2 2020, 08:23 PM
comic done! 6 days late! hooray

here's me preempting some questions i expect (plz do not read until after you read the comics so you can possibly feel impressed when i've answered your concerns):

"cro cro cro so is this like, the winner gets to be canon or something cool like that? because you've clearly explicitly written the comics in a way that implies a sense of both exclusivity and future impact on their storylines"
nope! actually i did this format for zero reason whatsoever. i just wanted to exploit a theoretically possible avenue of comics. the winner of this battle is not necessarily more canon than the other, if they're ever acknowledged again.

"cro cro cro both of these comics are the same milquetoast garbage you always do, why didn't you go two different routes and experiment or something like that, there's a lot of potential in this format"
but i like my milquetoast garbage ;_; again, i didn't actually plan to do anything interesting with this beyond being a dumb annoying gimmick. if you want to do something actually fun, that's left as an exercise to you! that said, i DID actually do something different between these two comics, but it's a very minute coloring difference that i wanted to experiment with but don't think is really notable, and i would be impressed if you could point it out among the unintentional differences between these two comics.

"cro cro cro why did you do these stupid text colors"
everything i have ever done in art is in emulation of ace attorney. ace attorney's good. tell me you don't like the colors aesthetically, in addition to how they objectively offer a new avenue of expression in the language of comics.

"cro cro cro why is no one consistently holding anything between panels"
in all cases they are either putting things into their inventory or juggling them into the air with a dexterous hand. honestly, these sorts of occurrences are so commonplace in comics that you shouldn't need me to explicitly depict them juggling and/or interacting with a metatextual storage universe.

Nothin
Artist
44 comments
# 3   Posted: May 23 2020, 03:25 PM
go reecer go! kick reecer's butt!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
455 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 30 2020, 09:00 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV4BlAlrIlk

Happy October 20th! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
310 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 30 2020, 08:02 PM
Hee hee hee ha ha ha Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ho ho ho hee hee! Take a good look, everyone! Unable to find a rival worthy of my genius, I was forced to create one by myself! Here I am! The tragic clown...

Comic Details -

 
Type: Sparring Match
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Jun 10th, 2020
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 787
 

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