Great Escalations, Round 2 / Wynne vs. Prototype-2

Great Escalations, Round 2 / Wynne vs. Prototype-2

Great Escalations, Round 2 — Wynne vs. Prototype-2

Icon for Wynne53.8%
659 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Icon for Prototype-246.2%
567 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: astr0dile, astrodile, candycorn rhino, candycornrhino, great escalation, larathen, proto 2, proto2, prototype 2, prototype-2, Round 2, scar battle, scar match, tournament, wynne

Critiques & Comments
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# 17   Posted: May 18 2020, 06:18 PM
So Astro about that paneling..
The hexagon pattern on page 3 is kind of awkward because it draws the eye in a clockwise circle pattern so the bottom row feels like it flows the wrong direction.
The big wide panels on the first two pages serve well for establishing; they do feel somewhat slower paced than the other pages so if that's what you're going for then good.
When you do the picture in picture panels that sit on top of another it can give the impression they are happening simultaneously with the one they're on top of.
That kind of stuff works better for the vision/dream parts since those can be more stream of consciousness and serve to bleed the scenes together more.
There's a lot of small insert panels of things like hands and faces and eyes.  Small panels like that make them read as really quick moments.  Some of the shots of Proto going :/ seem like that could have been included as reactions into larger panels.
On the bottom of page 6 there's that big white line going through a panel, that looks like it implies a passage of time maybe.
Usually when you have one big image broken into panels that can show time going by in the scene.

Though generally I'm able to know which one to read next so I can understand it which is good.  
The main thing is getting down the way the panels are layed out to show the speed of a scene.
But I still liked the comic and some of those slanted square rows of three work, especially the one on top of 12 that shows proto waking up.
now go kill Roxy.

Global Moderator
# 16   Posted: May 18 2020, 05:15 AM
Y'know, I never have much to say as of late in the comment section-- But I thank y'all for the many comments and critiques provided! I DEFINITELY DID NOT NOTICE HOW HARD I'VE BEEN CURBING WYNNE UNTIL Y'ALL POINTED IT OUT so I'll try to make amends for that in the future!!

Visually, it's all just been a guessing game with the sketchiness. Wanted to try doing the backgrounds entirely traditionally, but because I used pencils since I'm TOO SCARED TO FRIGGEN DO INKS I GUESS, they came out really weak-- Even when doubling the layer. Thus I used a brush that'd try to compliment-- And I appreciate the feedback on the look! I'm gonna keep fooling around until I find what's most comfortable, but as always, thanks for giving the battle a read!

EDIT: Wanted to add in, sometimes I name these comics, but usually I never have the time to do it or properly add them in! This comic was titled "Alighting in the Armamentarium".

Community Manager
# 15   Posted: May 14 2020, 05:20 PM
Astro: Thank you for the Juniper cameo you captured her well in this. I think this is your best colored comic so far. Your coloring in general is great but in this comic it works with the story and the characters and actions don't get lost in the colors. The sketch lines were fine for the most part in the comic, however once you put in solid inked silhouettes it makes the sketch lines feel weaker and unintentional. But even with that this is still a great comic art wise.

Writing wise I liked the story, maybe it's because you showed me the script beforehand but I understood what was going on the entire time. I like how you did the call back to redacted comics in this having proto experience the same things. My main writing crit is related to the overall story arc. in this story your foreshadowing Wynnes inevitable death but there hasn't been good reasons for us to want to see him live. He himself hasn't shown any desire to live and seems to have a "guess i'll die" mentality so it lessons any tension his death would have. He doesn't try to proven it so we're not trying to root for him to live because that's not his character motivation. Also his actions aren't wholey good so we don't necessarily want to see him live based on those since they're more morally ambiguous. When you show a character facing inevitable death there needs to be some adversity to it for us to want to root for him but in the current story arc we don't have any of that.

Candy: You gotta be honest with your skills and comics, you're a great artist and do a lot more good in your comics than bad, so don't keep calling them shit. Even if this was a shit comic, I don't think anyone here would care. This sites about making comics and trying to the best of our abilities, and for some of us that can still result in shit comics. But we just want each other to make comics and try our best for them, if you falter or make mistakes, that's fine just accept them and move on. I personally don't hate anyone on this site for making shit comics(I can't speak for everyone but I assume others don't hate
 others based on the quality of the comics they made), we're all at different levels in our art journey and the fact we're all trying is the important part.

If you just think everything is bad you will struggle to improve. Improvement involves knowing what stuff is working so you don't have to finagle with it  and can focus on the stuff you're weak in. If you just think everything is bad you can't focus individual aspects and grind them to level them up when you need to. You gotta be honest with your skills, on void the amount of complete pages and the quality you complete them in is above the average in void and better than a good majority of us, and void as a whole has a certain level of skill you gotta acknowledge you have. General advice like "do figure drawing practice." or "practice your fundamentals." will help slightly (it always helps), it won't give you the growth ideal to your skills. It can be hard to know the stuff you're doing well (especially at your level where you're doing more stuff right than you are wrong) but you gotta be able to do that in order to improve and focus on stuff you're weaker on, which isn't everything. You're a good artist and when you can acknowledge that and point out the stuff you're doing that works that's when you can start to look at the weaker aspects, focus on them and study for ways to improve.

You're too busy thinking about how shit you are that you're not thinking about other people or their feelings, you're not even listening to anyone's advice when we try to help. It feels bad to work hard to try and help only for all that work to be slapped in the face "but i'm shit" and then you proceed to do nothing with that advice. Also it seems like your scared of being wrong so you do everything you can to rationalize whatever you do, which is the actual problem since everyone makes mistakes. you gotta accept them and move on and please try to listen to others.

Web Dev
# 14   Posted: May 9 2020, 10:39 PM
Spoiler: Astro • show
Your art is always a treat to look at! I love your use of color, and you've got such a solid handle on both anatomy and how to stretch it into interesting body language, expressions, etc. I also love how you write dialogue to represent how people actually talk, including how people's speech is different from person to person. And it almost goes without saying, but your monster design is so on point. Wynne is great, and the way you interpreted Proto-2 is so badass and powerful looking. I love how you used camera angles at the beginning to really drive home how big he is. I also love the clever censorship of his crotch region XD

My biggest issue with your art is clarity. For the most part, I can tell what's what in every panel, and your coloring carries a lot of that. But sometimes details get lost in a sea of other details. I think some of it comes from shots being cropped too close to the characters' faces and not leaving enough space in the background to clearly show details that would establish that character's location within previously established environments. Page 5 confused me at first, because I wasn't sure where the opening to the caravan was in relation to the huge interior. After reviewing it a couple times, I can clearly see the curtain in panel 1 that is being pulled aside in the full-page spread, but the colors are close enough to what Wynne is wearing that it didn't read clearly enough for me at first. I think zooming out panel 1 a bit more to make it clearer that he's pulling aside a curtain would have helped, as well as playing around a bit more with line widths or using more contrast between how you color foreground, midground, and background elements. I can tell you used color to help here, and part of the issue is just that Wynne has such a light body. His design got a bit lost in the architecture for me, and darkening him up just a bit more would have helped my dumb brain vision realize the obvious fact that Wynne is not architecture haha.

From a writing standpoint, my issue with this comic in particular comes from two jumps that felt like they weren't communicated clearly enough. The first is between pages 2 and 3. I must have missed the "Day 4" in the upper left corner, because I couldn't figure out if we were in the same spot as before or what. My brain figured it out after a few seconds, but making the sky blue or some other non-yellow color would have helped my baby brain immediately understand that we had moved through time and space. My bigger confusion came between pages 6 and 7. Re-reading it, I'm actually getting chills from how you took the white threads coming from Wynne (if I'm reading this correctly) and morphed them into the threads Juniper used to tie up Redacted in the past. But it wasn't really clear to me what was happening to send Proto-2 into Redacted's memories, and since we haven't seen a lot from Wynne and how his powers work, I think I could have used a bit more explicit explanation of what was going on. Maybe dialogue at the top of page 7, or Wynne's face fading out as Proto-2 falls out of panel or something? I'd be happy to brainstorm other ideas if you want, because I'm not sure what the best option would have been there.

The whole segment of going through Redacted's memories here was actually super cool. I'm not sure I would have understood what was happening if I hadn't read Redacted's comics, although I would hope the explanation at the end of sending Proto-2 through his steps would explain it. But either way, the way you took key plot points from Redacted's comics and drew Proto-2 experiencing the exact same events was really cool! I even love how you paid attention to things like color schemes and camera angles to really drive home that these were the exact same events. The scar that came as a result is really cool. I'm not sure I understand why it happened, but I love how it looks.

From a broader narrative perspective, Wynne's story suffers from something I tend to do in my battles, which is giving much more attention to your opponent's story than to your own. I want to know more about Wynne, and so far he's been more of a side character than a protagonist. That's probably intentional, and I don't think that's a common issue in your other comics, but I guess I'm just whiny because I want more Wynne and you're holding out on me haha. I hope we get to see more of him and understand more of who he is and what drives him!

Spoiler: Rhino • show
Something I love about your comics with both Proto-2 and Redacted is how you don't shy away from the reality of their violent natures, while also making their humanity clear. So far, Proto-2 feels less human than Redacted, and I hope that's intentional because that means the ISA is creating stronger monsters by stripping away more and more of their humanity, which is a really cool theme. Also, maybe it's Old VOID speaking to me, or maybe it's just who I am as a person, but there's something so satisfying about just ripping apart an opponent's character haha. Your crazy dinos certainly scratch that itch.

Art-wise, I really enjoy your chunky lines and heavy blacks, and would encourage you to experiment more with thinner lines from time to time. I feel like you're going for something along the lines of Frank Miller's inking style, and I'm here for it, but I think there's more to it than just thick lines. I highly recommend checking out Frank Miller either way to get inspiration if you want to keep using spot blacks heavily. Sometimes, thick lines just obscure the details in your shapes, so keep an eye on that. Your coloring is also great; I'm in love with the glowing fiery yellow and red eyes of Proto-2 in contrast with the dark night, as well as Wynne's spooky purple magic.

Writing-wise, Wynne feels like a cross between a southern preacher and a town sheriff, and I love how he's got this insight that bores right into Proto-2's soul. The dialogue also highlights how much Proto-2's humanity is gone. The flashback was a little confusing because I wasn't sure who was who, but I'm pretty sure the message was that Proto-2 did something shitty as a human, and Wynne can see that, too. It's not just the ISA's experiments that made him like this; he was already willing to hurt others for his own goals. I'm sorry if that wasn't the message you were trying to send, but I really like it so I hope I got it right haha.

There are really only two things writing-wise that didn't make sense to me. The first is that I don't get why Wynne was sent to stop Proto-2. Was he literally sent by someone? If so, who? If you meant that to be a secret, you could have given a better indication that someone specific had hired Wynne or whatever. If it's figurative, and Wynne is there because of some sense of justice, the language about being created by someone else and sent there wouldn't make sense. I'm guessing it's the former case, but either way, I think you could have hinted a bit better at that. Not really the biggest deal tbh, but it was a point of confusion for me. The other issue is just a bit nitpicky, but that river looks way too small to carry Proto-2 anywhere against his will. It would have been much more interesting to read if Wynne had knocked him off a cliff into some giant river that was already gushing water. Maybe throw in some white water rapids to show how hard it's pulling. Right now, it looks like he fell into a creek that is inexplicably way deeper than a creek of that size should be. I know it's nitpicky, but I think it's the kind of environment detail you really need to think about as you're scripting and thumbing so you can give it more of an impact when it happens. I love that you made the river central to the comic, both through Wynne turning it into a metaphor and through just drawing it in multiple panels; that was perfect. If you had just made it bigger and more dangerous looking, the impact would have been that much bigger.

Overall, I know both of those writing-related things are kinda nitpicky, but I hope they're still useful. TL;DR: great use of color and heavy blacks, but check out Frank Miller and experiment more with thin lines that bring out the tiny details in your characters and environments; I love your combination of heavy violence and humanity in both Proto-2's and Redacted's stories, and the way you wrote Wynne was fun, but Wynne's motivation for being there to stop Proto-2 was unclear to me, and the river could have made a much better impact if you'd put more work into making it look big and scary. Thanks for the comics, and I look forward to what happens next!

Web Dev
# 13   Posted: May 9 2020, 09:41 PM
Jeez, CandycornRhino, when did you become such a huge baby? I came on just to see what my buddy Laranow was doing, and I gotta say I'm disappointed. Not the comic, your attitude. Just accept that you might lose and move on.

Oh, and accusing an open sourced community of plagiarism is dumb as hell.

# 12   Posted: May 9 2020, 08:35 PM
I dont have massive brain focus power rn, but Astro why are your skills literally godly! I really like the snow, v/good snow! And good art overall, i needta read more of your comics sometime cuz i love your work! And your ocs!

Think Tank
# 11   Posted: May 9 2020, 08:18 PM

I love love loooove how fuckin great u integrated Redacted's storyline into this - It shows how much attention and effort u put into your opponents and their characters. its so incredibly fun to read.
The way the scar plays into Proto-2's journey to find Redacted as well is one hell of a choice - its so damn creative and I'd love to see what he does with this newfound information within Void City. U somehow have made me both more interested in both UR character AND ur opponents character in your OWN comic and I dig that alot!
AND THEN WE GOT WYNNE - OH SWEET WYNNE - I just love this big ol' cowboy and his personality so much. I can't wait to see what other motives he's hidingggg. I love his gorgeous home environment painted with those blue and green colours; it makes for such stunning contrast as Proto-2 enters the scene with those vibrant warm colours. Especially with Juniper??! I wanna know MOOOORREEE. I'd love to see something on his collaborative efforts with her and any other Void citizens in future comics!!
OH YEAH - and one other big thing I love is ur panelling choices - I think my favourite set is on page 3 where you've got those triangular lookin ones? fuckin amazing - please teach me and dont be surprised if im askin u abouit it later haha.

Idk man I could gush about this on and on and on bc its just so well done imo! I'm super looking forward to seeing more of Wynne and what he's capable of!! BUT AT THE SAME TIME PLEASE LET HIM BE SAFE AND HEALTHY IN THE PROCESS, GAWD. Thank you for blessing this website's eyes and congrats on making such a beautiful piece of artwork once again!<3

Think Tank
# 10   Posted: May 9 2020, 08:11 PM
There seems to be an argument about the interpretation of character here, so I'll make it quick:
If it's done to build upon your narrative, it's fine to deviate a bit from the standard character model.  In short, if you're gonna break the rules, have a good reason to do it.

Candycorn wrote Wynne to be someone who riles up Prototype into a fight because it further pushed his narrative.  Astro wrote Prototype to be seeking help in finding his elusive target because it better pushed their narrative.  It's something that can go both ways, and it can allow an artist to see how others view or interpret their characters.

Spoiler: show
I really dig this approach to your drawing, and the way you draw your settings is something I'd like to study to better improve my own backgrounds.  This was a huge callback to Redacted's current saga, and the angles and shots are varied enough from the original to justify using the scenes for the narrative.  That being said, there was a heavy reliance on those scenes and dialog to verify what Wynne was doing.  I don't know if there was a better way to convey his assistance without delivering the same words verbatim--maybe just to nix the words and focus on the actions themselves?  It's a creative difference.
I do like the wrap-up in the end of your entry, you're definitely preparing yourself for a Death Match, should the results of this round deem you worthy of the match.  It shows you're looking at the long-term narrative in the context of this tournament, something that would make Chimera smile.  So, good job.

Spoiler: show
I like the stylistic continuation from your last round.  It shows that this happens immediately after the events of Dog, the blood's still warm on his hands.  The "howdy" introduction got a snort from me, but then Wynne begins to speak as some kinda loquacious thumper, and I'm not sure how well that works for his motivations.
Something I found a little disturbing is that Prototype doesn't speak or emote beyond his gritted teeth look.  If the struggle between embracing his beastial nature versus maintaing his humanity is the focal point of his arc, I've yet to see him use his words.  I want to know what's going on in this dude's head.  Redacted is all talk with some action.  If Prototype is meant to be his foil, I want to see at least some dialog.

Now that I've talked about the comic, I need to discuss something else--
It's fine to be nervous about the outcome of this round.  Scar matches can be very intense.  But these matches are not forced upon artists.  They agree to participate in them and are aware that there may be consequences.  If you lose this battle, take it in stride.  There have been better scars, sure, but there have also been much worse.  If yours is just Prototype missing a finger and having the top layer of his color scheme halved to look like Redacted, I don't see the problem.

No bracelet?  No problem!  He's no longer following the commands of ISA and he can rely more on his hunting instinct to track down his target.  Embrace his inner beast, OR tap into his humanity when he finally meets Redacted and see he's a kindred spirit in a sucky situation without his bosses needing to know about it.
Or what if they do?  Do they realize he's lost his bracelet?  When do they realize it?  And to what end would they go to try to get not one, but two dinosaurs back?
It's something you can weave into his narrative, and that's the silver lining to look for.

Why am I writing this in this comment?  Because I've read your posts in the past, and I need to let you know right now that this is such a small thing to be worked up over.  I get the stress of tournament voting, I really do.  But this is really nothing to be up in arms about.

# 9   Posted: May 9 2020, 07:38 PM
Astro- Gosh, your comic is fantastic! The scar was interesting, especially with how it occurred! The backgrounds are gorgeous, and your colors are fantastic. The expressions you've given to the characters are really great as well, I had to stop reading a couple of times just to look at them. The only thing I can say is that I was confused a bit at first over what was happening with Prototype seeing what had happened to [Redacted], but that also feels like it was intentional? After reading it again, I got what was occurring though!

Rhino- Your comic was great as well! I really love the texture and colors you used for the snow! The action is clear and impacting, and I like how you did the glowing effects for Wynne. The scar was brutal, but coming from Prototype-2, it seems apt. I think the dialogue for Wynne was a bit odd considering what I've seen of them so far, but I may not be the best at judging that, myself.

I think you both did lovely jobs, nice work!

# 8   Posted: May 9 2020, 06:00 PM
Spoiler: astro • show
I hate to say this but astro I'm not liking your comic. I felt you hadn't captured proto in the manner I described to you, or I'm just shit at explaining things.  Hes supposed to be this monstrous bestial terminator like character,  you just made him look like a lost weak incompetent idiot. In reality he would never seek out for help unless he was commanded by the ISA, self sustaining and what not. But again,  I probably didn't convey it well enough.

And in  hindsight the scar I should've said something. At first I had imagined something different, but you ended up just straight up copying several panels in my comics, even right down to the angling perspective like the gutsmasher one. It felt borderline plagiarizing.

Your round 1 comic was better because it felt original. Then again proto is a stupid character.

You also didn't mention taking the wristband but Ive already said itll be useless with proto being detached from it.

Idk. I feel like an asshole because I didn't convey things right for you, and this whole tournament was just stressful for me  definitely my worst comics I've written so im just gonna retire proto. I dont mind losing,  I'm just upset they way it occured.

I'm sorry.

I reiterate. I'm not upset on losing, I expected to lose from the start. I just felt that maybe the comic could've had more variation if it was being referenced from my previous comics, but I just felt it were direct copies. I liked the Juniper part, that was good, I liked it. Everything else just felt weak.

# 7   Posted: May 8 2020, 02:09 PM
Yooo, nice job the both of you! I can tell the A-Game was out, and I was very happy to have the pleasure of reading them!

Astro: I already agree with a majority of the critiques said by Sunrise and Cydork, although I will say that I actually enjoyed the light "frailty" as they called it, to your lines and coloring. To me, it had a good balance that contrasted well with most especially Proto2, who normally wouldn't seem to fit the majestic nature of Wynne's and their environment. I was most especially captured by the backgrounds, and found myself gazing over them intensely, admiring all the little details and uniqueness of the architecture. One thing is for sure about your style: it's fucking ORIGINAL, and you kill it. And the story? LOVE. While I myself did need to read it twice to discern what had occurred, it only required me looking back at Wynne's powers to realize he flipped the "magic" of Proto2's bio-engineering, to turn him half into the beast's main target. And what a clever way to accomplish that, with the added dialogue of "thinking like prey." LOVED IIIIT. An excellent little detail I also noticed, is how you planted those bubbles and razor strings at the bottom of the page, leading into the next. Just a little more OOMPH to that, and I think it would have helped translate that much better. YOU DA BOMB.

Rhino: I agree with most of what Cydork has said already, and I certainly agree that your comic wasn't doodoo. I think my favorite part was the glowing contrast of yellows, reds, and oranges against a heavy dark blue environment. That said, I'm a little puzzled as to why you chose the form of dialogue you did for Wynne. They don't strike me as a wise old westerner, but maybe that's me. I also would have liked to see you utilize more of his main power, as opposed to just wisps of magical energy. I know the thick lines are your jam, but I'd like to see you put a little more variation in there so everything doesn't carry such weight to it, and things may be a bit more clear. The story wasn't /bad/, but I do feel like it was a touch lazy. Who sent Wynne? As far as their description goes, they appear to work solo, and barely at that - designed to help, not necessarily engage in battle. I think you could have accomplished something really unique with this theme of Proto2 holding on to his humanity, if you'd engaged a little more in your competitor's character. Overall tho, it was still a fun read and you really know how to work that saturation!

# 6   Posted: May 8 2020, 07:42 AM
Astro: That was a really clever introduction of the illusion/memory to have Steelestring just grapple him like that. Had me sit up like, yo what's goin on. The reveal was very well executed. I love all the angles you manage to get into these comics of yours. In particular I liked the one of Steelestring leaning and shifting her weight with Prototype teetering on the ledge. That was just one of many, it's impressive how consistantly you can do it. Your page layouts are fantastic as always as is your colouring. Far be it from me to comment on something I'm not great at all, but I can't help but wonder what the comic would have looked like had you have ditched out the sketch lines after you painted over them. I really felt like the sketch lines did more harm than good. It made everything feel weak and frail, almost like the characters themselves had been withered. I would have especially liked to have seen what that first page and eigth page looked like inked.

Rhino: Hate to break it to you dude but your comic isn't doodoo. I know this might be a shock, but bear with me and I'll explain why. The colouring and atmospheric light is amazing and conveys a strong mood throughout. I love how the colour plays into the lineart and parts of him blend with his enviroment at times, it looks super slick. While most of the shadow work is great there are times where it falls apart page six panel three the shadow of Wynne has this weird scratchy line to its ends. The action was a fucking blast I loved it. It was full of kinetic power and movement. My biggest crit with it is a very personal taste issue of onomatopoeia, I really didn't think it was nessecary given how well you drew the pair clashing together. If you'd have removed the bubbles I still would have felt some of thos blows as I read. Humble opinion; stick with the cool white impact lines you used in some of the fights, they looked better.  Okay ending on something that I actually felt like commenting on first was was how well this was written, 'cause wow I loved Wynne's dialogue. "Was it buried back there with that dog or has it gone down stream?" He's dripping with worldly knowledge. It's so full of character.

So yeah the short of it is both of you are fuckin' legends. Amazing work all round.

# 5   Posted: May 8 2020, 07:12 AM
Astro - Your style... your style is just so Tasty. You’re excellent at implying weight and detail with a minimal amount of lines. That cityscape on the first page? The way you draw Proto-2? Chefs kiss. There’s something really appealing about the way you drew him in the last panel on page 2, and page 8 especially. I absolutely loved the idea of him reliving Redacted’s moments and then literally becoming half of him! What a wicked scar!! I was really like >800 when I realised. Super, super cool, definitely scoring high creativity from me.

Unfortunately as usual I feel like there’s some clarity issues. The change in location between page 4 and 5 threw me. I’m assuming this was inside the caravan, but it’s really hard to tell. We don’t see the characters enter before the shot of how much bigger and fancier the interior is, so I thought they had suddenly teleported to a mansion. It was unclear whether Juniper was really there or part of the reliving experience, because while she was the latest incident to happen to Redacted, she showed up first, while the other events were in chronological order. Redacted didn’t look like Redacted in the hologram, and with his spindly legs and serpentine tail he appeared almost like an eel monster to me. I only realised he WAS Redacted when the re-living experience happened.

Finally, I couldn’t actually discern the scar until my second read. I really thought the armband being removed was the scar. Proto was not consistently orange throughout the comic, and in fact appeared very similar in tone to Redacted in some panels, such as page 6, so the colour change isn’t immediately obvious. In addition, during and after the reveal, sunlight is hitting him from the left, which would make that side of his body appear a more vivid colour anyway. I simply thought you were going with more extreme lighting all of a sudden.

Also, what DPI were you working at? On both my phone and computer a lot of panels appear blurry :(

Candy - Aw ye that blood looks great! Much better than the first round. I like this intense black shading you do on Wynne? I can’t remember which era or style but it’s really evocative of Something I’ve seen and liked before, and I think it works well on him. I also like the scale effect you do on Proto’s skin - it’s just light enough to evoke texture while not being too heavy to clutter things.

The action was a bit muddled for me, and I’m not sure why? I thought the values might have been too similar but when I looked at them in black and white, they were fine. I think it could be the composition and panel size. On the first read I didn’t see Wynne’s scar either (I saw the result at the end, but not the act of scarring itself) because the foreshortening of Proto’s arms and the angle of Wynne’s made it looked like Wynne’s arms were Proto’s forearms, blood flowing from the claws.

Wynne’s dialogue didn’t read the best either. “Ain’t nothin’ hiding from me in those eyes” for instance. It just.. seemed a really strange way to convey that information? It seems to be a variant of “I can see it in your eyes”, but writing it in reverse form kind of misses the mark imo.

# 4   Posted: May 7 2020, 10:34 PM
My comic is doodoo I'm sorry.

Global Moderator
# 3   Posted: May 7 2020, 09:39 PM
Submitted! Hope you all, and Rhino, enjoy! I'll admit- I'm pretty sure the pacing here isn't great/gets fast n' vague, but as long as the gist of the story is somewhat understood- That'll make me happy.

# 2   Posted: Apr 24 2020, 07:28 AM

# 1   Posted: Apr 23 2020, 11:05 AM
Yodels, I'm in danger.

Comic Details -

Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: May 15th, 2020
Votes Cast: 28
Page Views: 1115
Winner: Astrodile

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