Great Escalations, Round 1 / CHOP CHOP vs. Looma

Great Escalations, Round 1 / CHOP CHOP vs. Looma

Great Escalations, Round 1 — CHOP CHOP vs. Looma

by Nothin

Icon for CHOP CHOP52.3%
507 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Enef

Icon for Looma47.7%
463 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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# 12   Posted: Apr 22 2020, 11:30 PM
Nothin - A cute and simple story, as always I do like your style, very appealing and expressive. There’s very little interaction between the characters though and the punchline is basically “Looma is dumb” which I don’t get from her bio at all - her knowledge stat is maxed out and she’s supposed to be very inquisitive.

Enef - First off I love the cover! The effect you did for the portal is really fun, gives me kind of amethyst vibes? You did a good job with atmosphere too, I really liked the dark shadows you used for the dungeon entrance on page 3, and the drippy effect for Chop Chop as he appeared. It was simple, but did feel gross and ominous.

Be careful with showing Looma’s direction though. Because her face is mostly obscured and you occasionally leave out her features entirely, sometimes at first glance it looks like she’s walking away from the reader. For instance the last page, I couldn’t tell if she was being sucked into the portal backwards or forwards and initially just thought her feet were drawn backwards. I also think the comic overall could have done with some texture; the panels with dirt paths and dungeon walls look far too smooth and clean.

Community Manager
# 11   Posted: Apr 21 2020, 10:13 PM
Nothin: You do great simple comics. the expression you gave both characters are great in this and I like how you have Chop-Chop do their body language stuff. I am curious what you plan on doing with him in future comics.

Enef: Great job with the 7 colored pages on this comic. I like all the effort you're putting into your backgrounds for these comics. My main crit is that you should work on your visuals setting up and connecting future events in the comic. The biggest ones are on the first page where the dog runs offscreen to never seen, which would naturally lead the viewer to the next place and the portal door that was activated but not shown until Looma falls in. If you had the dog run up the path rather than awkwardly offscreen the viewer would have a stronger sense of direction, as well as if we had seen the back of the dog run down the dungeon. You should also put important elements like a portal door prominent in the background so that when it is activated we know where it is and it's not just a door that came out of nowhere.

Regarding the expression crit I think the majority of it comes from the fact her eyes are always fully round or just closed. this limits the range of emotion you can convey, since she always has them fully round and open you can't show surprise with that and not changing the shape when she's angry or happy makes it harder on you. you can also play around with body language and show her hands more to help give her more range of expression without having to change the design.

Both things just come with practice and doing more and I'm interested to see where you take her from here.

# 10   Posted: Apr 20 2020, 06:48 PM

Nothin: Lmfao I love your style, and Looma's expressions are so.. expressional. Redundancy is redundant. It's very amusing to look at, and how Chop Chop looks obliviously ignorant. Simple story, but it doesn't really leave any sort of progression between an interaction of Looma and Chop Chop. If this was a case of not enough time to finish, then some kind of further interaction between them would've been interesting to see.

Enef: I really like this, I get a bit of Adventure Time vibes with your style and story. Though my crit is Looma's seems a bit.. emotionless? Well not like because outfit covers her face, its the way things are paced and displayed. She comes off as nonchalant about things despite initially appearing surprised. Having Chop Chop laugh and threaten Looma from that attack done on him wouldn't really warrant one to just casually start walking away. Unless she was trying to run? Just a little more convincing dynamic of the situation would've made this much better. Good job getting a fully colored comic, tho. I love dungeon crawling story ideas.


# 9   Posted: Apr 20 2020, 12:17 AM
Nothin- very cute comic with a minimalistic style. I don't really have much to say about it. Good for what it was and It made me smile. I liked the little burrito detail.

Enef- This cute little witch is probably my favorite character design in the lineup. She has a very simple design and a lot of fun abilities. I liked your coloring, the part with the blot behind her with her same hair color threw me off a bit though. That bit at the end with the portal was kinda disappointing, but it was also kind of funny since it reminded me of that Zelda CDI cutscenes where ganon dies from getting a book thrown at him.
I hope you write more comics with this witch, I like her a lot.

# 8   Posted: Apr 19 2020, 12:37 AM
Nothin: your style continues to be super cute and effective! The comic was in itself a bit too simple to my liking for 5 pages but your visuals make this such a charming and funny experience thats minor. Also I am curious how you will give chop-chop a little more substance. He might be a just for fun character but I hope he gets a little more spice in future comics.

Enef: thats a good start for an ongoing story. The art has been consistant and i love how you managed to give chop-chop a manacing look. Also big thumbs up for managing a full colored entry.
The story itself was too random for my liking though. With this page count a little too much was happening to built a proper tension arc so i was left with a little fuzzy head like "what did just happen?" .
I guess you could have skipped the first page since the reason why she´s in the dungeon isnt that important to show. A text box could have done the trick too. And some silly way why the acid would have worked or stopped Chop-chop might have been a better conclusion like a random portal.  Overall it was a good comic though and there´s clear potential to explore!

# 7   Posted: Apr 18 2020, 09:38 AM
"god damn it" that made me laaaaugh

# 6   Posted: Apr 17 2020, 05:01 PM
Nothin - I am very impressed at how simple and effective your comic is. It's not lacking in anything even though you only used  limited palette and simple shapes. Short and sweet! I love it!

Enef - Wow you've really improved by leaps and bounds since your intro comic. It did not even look like it was made by the same person. Can't wait to see your next installment. Keep up the good work

# 5   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 06:24 PM
Enef   Good stuff  youve improve alot since your time here before

Nohin  very creative

# 4   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 01:18 PM
That'sa magic meat-ee-ball!

Spoiler: show
With a two week deadline this was rather simple and short but you portrayed both characters ideally. Can't wait to see what's hiding under all that tenderized ground earthling.

Spoiler: show
"I cast magic missile." "At what?" Asks the DM. "THE DARKNESS!" Proclaims the caster. Good old squishy spell casters. I do like Looma's character design and her repertoire of castables. But in light of her opponent being a gelatinous stain of human by-product you could have focused more on Looma and her spell capabilities? All in all it was an enjoyable read!

Think Tank
# 3   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 08:39 AM
Charming comic with a limited palette for positive effect.  I'm liking this Meat Monster already.

In contrast to Nothin's submission, you went full-color.  This could have been used to push the mood of your story.  Right now, everything's settled into local colors, and that gives a stagnant feeling.  I'd recommend playing around with some palettes and color schemes if you want to continue doing full-color comics.

I say this knowing full-well that a lot of my recent stuff relied on Gradients for Backgrounds, but it's advice I am passing onto you.

# 2   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 12:31 AM

# 1   Posted: Apr 15 2020, 11:50 PM
and that's that

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Apr 22nd, 2020
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 575
Winner: Nothin

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