Great Escalations, Round 1 / Lucifer (Luci) vs. Wynne

Great Escalations, Round 1 / Lucifer (Luci) vs. Wynne

Great Escalations, Round 1 — Lucifer (Luci) vs. Wynne

Icon for Lucifer (Luci)43%
386 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference

Icon for Wynne57%
512 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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# 10   Posted: Apr 22 2020, 10:13 PM
Buggy - I really like this more simplified, charcoal/pencil-type thing you tried out here! I think it suits Luci’s character and the era you’re going for, like others have said it was easily recognisable.

I can’t remember if this was the proper end of the comic or if there was more that time didn’t allow for, but it feels like it ends really abruptly? Wynne wakes up, Luci’s shocked, then immediately it’s like tea and biscuits! Oh somebody’s calling her to a reaper meeting, fin. I think stretching it out over a page or two more would have made it flow better.

Astro - Ohooooo very nice! I already told you how I felt about the story on your first draft, very neat idea and so cool to see finalised! I love how you painted the river - I dig the rough look of the skeletons within when Wynne first sees it on page 4, and that big spread on page 8 is fantastic.

I did notice though that from page 5 onwards, the environment kinda just disappears? It looks like the characters are both floating in space that has little more than a gradient. I know that Wynne falls into the river, later climbs out and takes Luci’s knife because I read the script, but it’s very hard for me to tell visually because the way the panels are cropped you barely see what’s going on? Take page 7 - I can see the splash of water and the boat, but the boat looks like it’s sitting on flat ground and there is nothing to indicate depth in the image. Same with the first panel on the last page. I see Wynne’s upper body and some water, but I don’t actually see the river or any of the environment around him.

Additionally, the dialogue from Luci doesn’t feel Cockney at all. If Luci and Wynne were supposed to be two Southern characters, it’d be perfect, but you’ve done great, natural speech for the wrong region. I’m no expert on accents, but phrases like “witchoo” read VERY American to me, and things like “dat”, “dis”, “fer”, “geddit” and adding a t’ in front of some words don’t help either. Buggy used “yer” too, but with the other slang she used and things like “wot”, it balanced out and still made the accent clear if not perfect. In Cockney,  the “th” tends to be replaced with an “f” or even a “v” sound, not “d” (you hear things like “muvver” instead of  “mother” for instance). “t” sounds in the middle of the words are dropped more often than not, again not turned into a “d” sound. So “geddit” would’ve been more like “ge- it”.

Community Manager
# 9   Posted: Apr 21 2020, 10:55 PM
Buggy: really cute comic, you have gotten more comfortable with your style in this comic compared to your previous ones. Also Luci's expressions are great on this. I'm not a fan of the first page being black with only lyrics, I think just adding some silhouettes would give more interest while still being vague or in the dark of what's happening. Also I really want to see more of this Victorian era interpretation of void (very curious how you would do Garland in it) and Luci.

Astro: Your colors are amazing and the angles you choose for scenes are great. My favorite thing is how you drew Luci's face in this, it's distinct from the other human faces you have done and really captures her character well. Also the story and the fight is different from how you often do them so that was really cool. though on page 5 I think the upper part with her pulling the scythe should be separated into it's own panel since without that border the readers eye goes back up to it when reading the middle action which results in some confusion since the eye should be going towards Wynne instead. I'm not sure what's the thing going on at the end but you tend to have elements like including hard to explain elements in your story or stuff that will be explained in future comics. I look forward to seeing those.

# 8   Posted: Apr 20 2020, 06:45 AM
Buggy - Cute comic! Luci is too adorable! And the color palette you used here really screams Victorian era. Also I can immediately tell that she is talking in English accent so great job on the speech as well!

Astro - Hot damn! The palette you used really set the mood well. That river of Styx (I think that's what it's called) gave me Disney Hercules vibes! It's just so pretty! Your dynamic angles and expressions are my art goals. And you did this all in 2 weeks. This quality would take me at least 2 months probably lol. Truly an inspiration ;_;

# 7   Posted: Apr 17 2020, 11:34 AM
Buggy: Aaaaah is this a Victorian Era theme? 10/10. Lucy is so adorable, and you made Wynne a big cute doofus too aaaah. All of it was cute. Would've like to see the uncolored pages finished like the other ones. Only crit is I agree with the last page of the person being a bit of an extreme closeup. It felt claustraphobic.

Astro: Aaaaaaa I love the colors in this. WYNNE GOT STUMPY FEET LMFAO. I like the dynamic between them, Wynne being somewhat oblivious and Lucy subtly hinting a betrayal, and Wynne discovered it at the right time. Only some of the visuals I was confused on what was exactly going on, like the second panel in page 2, and like almost all of page 8. And that red thing on the last page. Also the fight scene tween Lucy and Wynne Lucy was pretty much in the same angle same pose almost the whole time so it felt kinda basic. I understand Wynne's an absolute unit, though a couple of different angles would've made for a better looking fight.


# 6   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 01:53 PM
Spirits, souls, and all that's lacking.

Spoiler: show
So. First off. I'm no fan of big black pages with darkly colored text. This dialogue could have been used while visualizing Luci working her trade. Besides that you character is spunky and interesting enough on her own, which, didn't require another character to interrupt the scene. Could have recieved a spiritual summonse in one form or another and that would have felt less abrupt. Giving the two week deadline this was a lovely read. Good work! Keep it up!

Spoiler: show
Interesting effigy to say the least. A couple critiques;  a slight lack in clarity on the end of page three, and Luci's grim grimace on page four. Just minorities in terms of the grand scale of this especially given a lovely scuffle between the two and your foreshadowing. Grade A soulless shenanigans,  Wynne. Looking forward to future encounters.

# 5   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 09:55 AM
Buggy: I love Luci, I love your expressions! I feel like the story could use some fleshing out but I know you had a busy and hectic schedule, the ending seemed rather abruptbut the colour choices were great and made everything feel very Victorian feel! Overall I liked it. It's a shame you couldn't finish it!

Astro: There are so many incredible angles, such fantastic colours. I will admit I did get confused at times by the flow of things here and there, some of the panels confused me as to what was happening. Your dialogue is excellent, characterisation and expressions are fantastic.

I love you both so much, if either of you want more in depth comments and stuff hit me up on Discord and I can talk about specifics.

# 4   Posted: Apr 16 2020, 09:54 AM
Buggy: I think I would have preffered something other than black behind the text on the first page, even if it was just some texture work, or alternatively some really detailed lettering. Luci was a lot more genki than I expected her to be; she's super expressive; particuarly in the way she poses herself. The linework is great and is something I could learn from; shows lots of confidence. The final panel of the society member was a bit too close for comfort and is too front on. I probably would  have changed the camera angle there. But you still got the feeling of her looming over her across well, I just don't think it transitioned well from the previous page.

Astro: I really like how this story develops; it feels natural and unrushed and takes its time to do the things it wants to do. Fantastic job. I really like how the characters play off each other. The fight scene is really well coreographed and you clearly have an excellent sense of proportion with characters 'interacting' in this case fighting, arguably the hardest form of interaction to draw. I didn't feel like any of it was awkward or janky or like characters were floating about fighting. It was all really grounded and had weight. The line art was the weakest part, but even then it was consistant, it's not like any pages had any sudden drop in quality. Good time maganement skills there, I think? lol. I have no idea if I'm just stupid but on page 7 it took me the longest minute to realise the brown thing moving in the last two panels was the boat. I thought it was the skirt or something??? I realised I hadn't clocked it was the boat because inspite of the big splash going off and the boat rocking, there was no water hitting its side to rock it.

Both submissions were really cool and I liked them both a lot. Great job you two!!

# 3   Posted: Apr 15 2020, 08:06 AM
I've never been so torn between who i want to win more i love you both so much

# 2   Posted: Apr 15 2020, 01:27 AM

Global Moderator
# 1   Posted: Apr 1 2020, 05:35 PM

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Apr 22nd, 2020
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 576
Winner: Astrodile

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