Speed Death Tournament 2020, Round 1 / The Great and Almighty Wyrm vs. Squiggums PI

Speed Death Tournament 2020, Round 1 / The Great and Almighty Wyrm vs. Squiggums PI

Speed Death Tournament 2020, Round 1 — The Great and Almighty Wyrm vs. Squiggums PI

47.9%
451 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: sdt2020, Speed Death, squiggums pi, the great and almighty wyrm, toon


by Sunrise

52.1%
490 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Bobo
Web Dev
924 comments
# 14   Posted: Feb 11 2020, 08:46 AM
Spoiler: Cy • show
I really like how you wrote Squiggums' story. The idea that she insists on investigating something even when there's no question what's really going on is really cute and funny. I also like how her lineless style sets her apart as a toon in contrast to how you drew the rest of the comic. I do have to say that the latter half of the comic felt a bit slow. I feel like you were trying to build tension throughout the last four pages, but I think it fell flat because it was pretty easy to predict what was about to happen from the start, and it just felt like you took a long time to say something instead of keeping us on edge wondering what was going to happen. I think you would have benefited more from having the Wyrm say it was going to eat Squiggums in a single panel, then spend the rest of the comic showing Squiggums trying to run away or fight or something. Instead, Squiggums just sort of stands there and takes it. I think you had a fun idea here, and I enjoyed the difference between the two characters' personalities, but I guess I wish the last half had more uncertainty in it to build tension.

Spoiler: Sunrise • show
I'm in love with Squiggums! She's so adorable. I feel like your art style is a bit overly simplistic here, but it kinda works in her favor at the same time. Maybe a good compromise is to keep the art style for Squiggums herself, but give your backgrounds more detail. It was mostly clear what was going on in the background, but some of them were a bit muddled. I think the biggest place where this hurt your comic is on page 3. I see the Wyrm's mask and what may be a pile of bones or bodies but could also just be a pile of stuff with some masks on top of the pile. I think if it were more detailed, it would have been clearer what Squiggums was supposed to be afraid of. Still, I got the gist of it, and since your comic is more of a cute comedy than a horror comic, it doesn't hurt it that much. I really enjoyed the mood you built with the Wyrm showing up just out of sight until it pounces on unexpecting Squiggums and knocks her down. The ending was also really cute, and the final punchline was great. How will she ever prove what she went through without the tape!? Oh no!!! I really want to see more of Squiggums; she's great :D

Heavenbat
Artist
99 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 5 2020, 10:38 PM
Cy: I've already given you a lot of my thoughts in purpose, but I wanna reiterate: I fuckin love that first page and the whole setup for the comic! Wish we could've seen the actual nomming, but, hey, for a 1 weeker this is really good!!

Sun: I loved the little moments of humor, especially that joke at the end. However, I... admit I was lost through most of your comic, mostly in regards to location. It was hard to tell where exactly Squiggums was from one panel to the next, which in turn made it difficult to tell when Squiggums was moving. The death of the Wyrm also confused me; if Squiggums hadn't flat-out said what happened, I don't know that I would've gotten that's what went on. Still, great job getting this much done in a week!

ArtsandGoodies
Global Moderator
358 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 4 2020, 10:36 PM
Cy: That first page is great and I love the way you draw Squiggums. I would actually really like to see you try that style with more of your characters and comics. You also did a great job showing the difference of size between the two characters. However the final scene with Wyrm eating Squiggims felt pretty flat, the two unchanging side views didn't give off the proper sense of dread and overwhelming presence that Wyrm has. However you did do a great job of that in the other pages and this was a good comic.

Sunshine: I love Squiggums and your humor and story in this was great. All the expressions you have for Squiggums are fantastic. On page 6 it wasn't exactly clear that Squiggums fell or where to. Also sometimes I think simplifying and putting less lines on Squiggums would help show more of their toonyness. But even then Squiggums is a great character and that ending was fantastic.

kubo
Artist
78 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 3 2020, 08:00 PM
Cy: There is not much I can say that hasn't already been said. I did enjoy your comic a lot, and knowing that you had another page in mind makes commenting about the loose ending irrelevant. I like your page layouts and your dynamic shots. I do suggest that if you are writing your dialogue out by hand to use a brush without pressure sensitivity. I enjoy the dialogue that wraps around GAW but it could more legible.

Sunshine: For me, your dialogue is what sells this comic. You managed to establish an adorable and interesting character here and I commend you on that. The art style you are using here is a lot of fun, but I had some trouble making out some of the panels. Its mainly the smaller panels that depict large areas of the background. This is a speed comic so taking that into account, I'm sure that if you had more time you would have tighten those up easily.

Great job, both of you!

Flutterbyes
Artist
251 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 3 2020, 05:54 PM
Cy: A little detective wanders into the woods, finds a god, and is never heard from again. The way you draw and write Squiggums is so cute... and then it went right to horror. The beginning and ending pages were the strongest, I think. I love the perspective shot on page 5. That's a good way to wrap that Wyrm around and use its body to lead the composition. I think luring Squiggums in could have been stronger. I liked the wrapping speech balloons, and the legs walking would have been really strong if they stood out against the background a little better. Those eyes needed a little more "something" to really sell the enchantment. All in all a good introduction to this kind of being.

Sunrise: Squiggums is adorable close up. I can't help but reading the narration in a cute voice. Your art is very pressure-sensitive-digital-brush-y.  This kind of graphic art is best served by looking less brush-y: Crisp shapes and sharp smaller shapes for things like writing and whiskers. Also, details like pupils and facial features kind of meld in with their surrounding color. I do like how Squiggums is the hero they deserve, but also a bit of a bumbler up caught up in her world, and how you gave context to the Wyrm.  

TheCydork
Artist
130 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 31 2020, 10:48 PM
Heathen:
In that case,  I will amend my critique to address an issue I often have when toon characters are depicted in comics,  which is that they do not read as toons. In order to sell the idea of a toon character, I believe you must acknowledge the existence of whatever cartoon they are from, or juxtapose them with non-toon characters, or toons of different art styles, to make them read as something apart from the "real" world of the comic. Otherwise, there's no reason to have them be a toon, rather, you're simply drawing the comic in a cartoony or animation style. Drawing a Batman comic in the style of the Animated Series doesn't make Batman a Toon, but if you place him in a scene with characters drawn in Jim Lee's style, suddenly it is apparent that he isn't just Batman, he's Toon Batman.
Quote

I agree with your thoughts on toons, but I’m confused about how that applies to my depiction? I did draw Squiggums in a different style compared to the Wyrm and the environment, or at least thought I did. Was making her lineless, non-rendered, and comprised of very simple shapes not enough to distinguish her as a unique entity from the rest of the world, i.e. a toon?

Heathen
Artist
350 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 31 2020, 06:15 PM
TheCydork: I do take issue with the “aping” comment though...
Quote
Just went and looked at Sunrise's profile, and I stand corrected. I saw the Night in the Woods inspiration, but didn't realize you were simply both drawing on it. In that case,  I will amend my critique to address an issue I often have when toon characters are depicted in comics,  which is that they do not read as toons. In order to sell the idea of a toon character, I believe you must acknowledge the existence of whatever cartoon they are from, or juxtapose them with non-toon characters, or toons of different art styles, to make them read as something apart from the "real" world of the comic. Otherwise, there's no reason to have them be a toon, rather, you're simply drawing the comic in a cartoony or animation style. Drawing a Batman comic in the style of the Animated Series doesn't make Batman a Toon, but if you place him in a scene with characters drawn in Jim Lee's style, suddenly it is apparent that he isn't just Batman, he's Toon Batman.

Of course this speaks more to the choice to make Squiggums a toon than to the quality of either of your comics.

TheCydork
Artist
130 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 30 2020, 06:58 PM
Thanks to everyone who commented so far!

@Fred Thank you! Backgrounds are definitely my weakest aspect atm, I thought I’d improved but it seems I still have a lot of work ahead of me.

@Kozi Thank you for appreciating my angles!! I noticed I have a tendency to draw things fairly head on, so I put a lot of effort into more extreme and varied angles this comic.

@Flytee @Heathen Definitely agree with you on the lack of interaction. I had another page or two planned in between 3 and 4, where they would have spoken to each other directly, but I just ran out of time and cut them. I ended up splitting another page in two later on bc the pacing was so thrown by that choice. Messed up there :/

I do take issue with the “aping” comment though. Squiggums is a toon, and seeing as Sunrise’s style is usually not lineless, I assumed the linelessness was part of her design. She is also clearly inspired by a game called Night in the Woods (Sun confirmed) which is itself lineless as well. I wasn’t going for an exact copy and definitely tried to incorporate some of Sun’s style with things like the more rounded eyes and straight arms, but it was the game’s style I mimicked more than anything. I depicted Squiggums the way I did because we’re both fans of the game and I thought it would be a nice homage, especially because our matchup kind of reflected some of its events (tiny cat facing huge and unexplainable being).

Heathen
Artist
350 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 30 2020, 05:48 PM
Cydork- aping your opponent's style was surely a fun experiment, but I don't think it helps your entry stand out. There's not much of an interaction or drama between the two characters, and an off-screen implied kill in a deathmatch is always a bit of a let down.

Sunrise- I like that Squiggums actually does some detective work here, but it all seems like busywork that didn't really pay off. The ghosts just sort of appear to her, and then take care of the Wyrm for her, so what little agency she had is quickly stripped from her. I also have no idea how the Wyrm was killed. If not for the narration stating that it was killed by the ghosts, I would never have deduced that.

Flytee
Artist
105 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 30 2020, 06:21 AM
Cy- Great first page, by the end of it, I couldn't help but support this dumb little cats suicide mission.
I really got a sense of how colossal the Wyrm was, and how small and innocent squiggums is, she's upsettingly outmatched. The last panel on page 5 truly is a "picture says a thousand words" moment. The art was delightful! Fantastic job on finishing a fully coloured comic in a week.
 
Crits-
I would have liked to see more of a back and forth between these two instead of the one-sided dialogue we got. It's a shame Squiggums didn't at least attempt to answer the "what gifts do you bring-" question. Her lack of a response or reaction to the situation before being hypnotised felt like a missed opportunity.

Sunrise- I would die for Squiggums
(given crits in person)


Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1077 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 29 2020, 08:58 PM
CY- I am digging your use of angles panel to panel. You have such an interesting monster, I think it was a great idea you utilized your 'camera' to get the reader as many vantage points as possible to appreciate their sheer size. Also the nod to your opponent leaving them lineless and just shapes was really cute. Added to the poor poor innocence before they got nommed.

SUNRISE- Really fell in love with this style. You definitely give comics a storybook sort of feel. The theme of this comic was so arresting it made for something of a Grimm fairytale! I had to keep going back to check out the backgrounds and check out the facility. Your character was so focused on trying to find their way, you made the background something of a character making us notice. It's clear really put some TLC into ensuring it felt like different areas this kitty is exploring as opposed to the same long hall. Good on ya

Symon_says
Artist
71 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 28 2020, 10:09 AM
Thecydork oh forest statue so large and frightening what shall be thy fate? That last page should have had a little more of something, like Squigs bloody shoe or what-have-ya.

Sunrise detective work requires the highest caliber of curiosity; will a pint sized fem-feline suffice? We shall see!

Keep it up ya'll

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
498 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 28 2020, 05:53 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAA A A A A A
SQUIGGUMS!

Both were so cute and funny! Cy, try to love your backgrounds just a wee bit more. I know the deadlines are tight, but BGs are worth it! I love how much characterization you put in so little though, it was very fun. Sun! All the little silliness that Squiggum gets into is truly lovely, but you should think more carfully of your visual storyteling, what happens and where can get muddled. Full of charm though!

TheCydork
Artist
130 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 28 2020, 03:36 AM
Ahhh man what a fun fight!! I love Squiggums so much ;o;

@Sunrise your comic was so cute, Squigg is such a Mood, particularly love when she’s climbing into the bathroom window and just her little expressions haha. Actually snorted at “Downstairs is blocked by a wall of skin. Concerning.” Really liked how you portrayed my Wyrm too!! I loved the creepy mural on the wall on page 3, and you honestly got the overall vibe pretty well. I don’t remember if I ever told you Wyrm has reincarnation abilities (albeit twisted) and yet you guessed them by yourself? Wild.

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 4th, 2020
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 548
Winner: Sunrise
 

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