First of all, imo the setup is pretty clear. Empty room, blood on the floor, panicked note - they all show Fawn has been attacked in some way and abducted. Though I agree, showing the room in disarray would have helped push this idea, as it doesn’t make sense that there was a struggle resulting in a wound but an otherwise orderly room. The note also doesn’t make sense like Flutter said, but on first read it doesn’t stand out as an issue and is easily fixable anyway. Just put the text inside a bubble coming from a phone. So to me this part is pretty good and any issues are minor.
However I can see why people would be confused by pages 2 and 3. Let’s start with page 2:
The pictures of Fawn indicate someone obsessing over her and hating her friends. There has been no indication of someone following or obsessing over Fawn prior to this. From meta clues - you changing “Fawn and Detroit” to just Detroit - as well as the the fact that Detroit is kept in one image while another person is ripped out, and every other person who isn’t Fawn is either scratched out or insulted in other images, I’m guessing that the person who took Fawn was Detroit. But if this is the case, there was nothing to suggest his sudden turn. There was one instance of him mouthing off at Cadenza and then lying to Fawn, but it was buried in the middle of a 36 page holiday collab that nobody expects to hold plot points, and will likely be skipped in an Archive due to its length. Plus since he’s a child and hasn’t been threatening before but HAS been shown to have a somewhat mischievous streak (vs. Cassidy), he just comes off as bratty. At the end of the collab, him singing to her I suppose could be seen as creepy, but the atmosphere, his expressions etc. do not lend to this idea. Since he was alone, this would have been a great moment to show him flash a glimpse of his true nature, but he seems to actually care about Fawn.
Onto page 3. Adding Vincington muddles things. Similarly to others, I was also lost on who he was initially, despite reading all your past comics. I had to reread them again and squint to realise he was Fawn’s dad. Unlike Marigold he doesn’t really get an introduction and is only in the background for the most part. Fawn only calls him her dad once and there’s little indication otherwise of their relationship. I mistook him for Fawn sometimes (or even an older sister) due to their similar hair, your tendency for fluctuating heights in older comics and your style, which makes all your characters look somewhat feminine. There’s also the fact that his design has changed quite a bit from his initial appearance. In this comic particularly, his position lead to confusion as well - we see the doorbell ring on page 2, and then him walking down.. something. I honestly thought he was outside at first bc the shading made the floor look like a stone path. So it made me think “who is this person ringing the doorbell? If they’re a member of the household they wouldn’t do that.” On a second read it seems like he’s indoors answering the door, but that’s also strange, because the dark figure approaches him from behind. If this shadowy person was already inside the house, what was the point of showing the ringing doorbell on the previous page?
Speaking of the dark figure, since they came up behind Vincington and put a hand on his shoulder while he continued to face forward, it read as if he was being kidnapped too rather than being given news. Especially since the speech bubble was floating in midair and did not have a tail going towards the figure, and prior there was an ominous-looking shadow attached to Vince, as if he was being stalked. Like Bobo said, it would have been clearer if we saw who was speaking to him. If the speaker is supposed to be a secret, show us Vincington’s face as he reacts to this news. As it stands, the two images of him are spooky but ultimately meaningless to the reader.
I understand how frustrating it must be to come back to Void with your first finished comic in a year, only to be met by confusion and in my opinion some overly pointed comments. I think some of the reactions are unfounded and could be solved by paying a little more attention. But when this many people ARE confused, it’s not that they are unable to understand the story but rather, you’re not presenting the it well enough. You say Detroit’s presence was supposed to be unexplained, but there was never any attention drawn to his sudden appearance. He had a grand entrance and was just present from then on. Given how Fawn’s interactions tend to go, he seemed like just another playmate and not someone to be suspicious of. Maybe you could have drawn attention to that within a comic - have someone ask why he’s there, and have the question dismissed. That would give an impression of seediness to get people thinking, and show the reader that not explaining his situation was intentional. He could also have benefitted from being present in more comics before this reveal - he was basically only in two, and neither were part of your main storyline, so there was little chance to build him up anyway.
Similarly, Vincington was never focussed on - his biggest moment was delivering a gift and then leaving - but he’s the first one to find out about Fawn’s disappearance. This complicated things unnecessarily. Why not use Marigold, a character that readers are more familiar with? Or hell, if she’s in on this and you don’t want to reveal that? Fawn was writing to Cadenza - maybe you could take the voicemail suggestion, and change it up. Start the comic with Fawn calling Cadenza, speaking the words on page 2 rather than writing them in a letter. Midway her speech changes as she’s attacked, and she eventually screams into the phone before going silent. We see Cadenza’s terrified expression, and cut back to Fawn’s empty room with blood on the carpet. Then a new voice comes through on the line, telling Cadenza that Fawn has been relocated permanently.
I think what happened here is that you essentially made background characters (that we know little to nothing about) the new main players, and on top of that, changed the tone of your comics from cute slice of life* to thriller/mystery with no warning. Of course people are confused and asking questions. Big changes to a story like this only work when there’s adequate setup. As a stand-alone comic you did an excellent job of setting the scene and creating a sinister feel, but in context it feels abrupt and muddled.
*I know vs. Black Swan had some horror, but pretty much every other comic for Fawn and Detroit was not.
Global Moderator
Overall, I think this comic would've worked just a bit better if it had had maybe one or two more pages, to sort of slow down the pacing and make the slow buildup of horror even better. That would've allowed you to include more details which would've fixed the issues some of the others have mentioned. You had, imo, a good setup, it just moved a bit too fast! Either way, color me intrigued to see where you go with this, if you decide to continue it!!