Intro Story / [REDACTED]

Intro Story / [REDACTED]

Intro Story — [REDACTED]

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Rivana
Artist
165 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 4 2020, 10:41 AM
I absolutely enjoyed this intro. Probably one of the best I've read so far. I cannot wait to see more of Redacted in Void. He definitely has an interesting background and  I can't wait to discover what really happened in his past (and what the future holds for him).

Welcome to Void!

Flutterbyes
Artist
276 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 2 2020, 02:43 PM
In four pages, you managed to go all over the place visually and thematically without much whiplash. Well done! It's eerie, it's sad, it's hilarious and fourth wall breaking... and it's brutal. I wonder what someone like [Redacted] would get up to...

Viperchief
Artist
210 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 1 2020, 07:30 AM
Congrats on getting in!  Love the idea of a Dino-Man running around the city.  Speaks to the 8 year old in me, lol.  The writing seemed pretty solid to me.  The colors were a weakness I think, they distracted my eye rather than complemented the art.  I'm not a great colorist and tend to go black and white for just that reason so I applaud you for working on yours.  I enjoyed the art overall and really liked Redacted's expressions.  I can't wait to watch his character develop!

Cab
Artist
55 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 29 2019, 11:09 PM
I really enjoyed this comic, especially the feathers joke, can't wait to see more from you, keep the good stuff coming :-)

Petrichor
Artist
42 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 28 2019, 01:39 PM
That was such a good intro! Redacted is already on my hitlist heheh

I was so hyped to see the finished intro since you've shown the sketches, and it came out so good!
I really like how you made Redacted so expressive and always in motion, he's the opposite of a boring character.
The bg is well detailed and give us a clear sense of the environment where the characters are situated, although the perspective seems a little odd in some panels. But that's all the crit i have.

Good job on getting in! Can't wait so see Redacted's story unfold in your next comics :D

Elyan
Artist
107 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 28 2019, 09:47 AM
I love Redacted.

Your writing is on point i think. BUT your coloring needs some... routine (but time is a factor for sure as well).
Its most visible on the hair of that guy in page 4. That sadly lacks any structure while i guess you do could do better. so I´m looking forward to what we will see from you in future.
To be clear. I think your art is pretty sweet aside from that. your BGS are fine and the amount of detail you put in there is really spicing things up.
There is so much potential :D
Anyways. GOOD JOB and welcome Redacted!

CandycornRhino
Artist
77 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 27 2019, 07:03 PM
TheCydork:
Also this isn’t really a you thing, but I’m getting a little bored of characters suddenly going feral for meat or blood. I can already think of 3 who’ve joined Void in the past few months with the same gimmick, and I’m pretty sure there’s way more. Waking up with amnesia after being mutated is also a trope I see a lot, so in future comics I’d really like to see what makes Redacted different or unique from other characters built on the same concept.
Quote

I understand the boredom of the trope. But Redacted's still an early concept for me even with the finished intro. I intend to play around with him to show off more flaws about him that he isnt like the stereotypical "perfect mutant" like some do. I'll keep it in mind to stray off the beaten path with him!

TheCydork
Artist
271 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 27 2019, 05:41 PM
Congrats on getting a character in! Also your icon is really cute haha.

This is a great intro and I can tell you put a tonne of effort into it! Your expressions are really good, I actually laughed at the first face Redacted made on page 2. The dawn lighting was nice and I just noticed the neat little timeskip you did at the bottom of page 2 as he realises he’s a mutant (another set of faces I much enjoyed haha). I also like how you jumped straight into angles with difficult perspectives and foreshortening, that’s a bold move and it really paid off - I loved Redacted’s leap on page 4!

Rn the only big thing I notice is that the lighting when the storm started to arrive didn’t work for me, it felt more muddy or dingy than gloomy, and didn’t work with Redacted’s dull skin colour. Also this isn’t really a you thing, but I’m getting a little bored of characters suddenly going feral for meat or blood. I can already think of 3 who’ve joined Void in the past few months with the same gimmick, and I’m pretty sure there’s way more. Waking up with amnesia after being mutated is also a trope I see a lot, so in future comics I’d really like to see what makes Redacted different or unique from other characters built on the same concept.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
432 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 27 2019, 04:09 PM
Congrats on getting him in, I made a full crit which should be on the approval email but just wanted to say I really wanna fight him.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1111 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 27 2019, 04:08 PM
Grats on getting in! Way to go above and beyond with these super dazzling pages. :00

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Ended: Jan 3rd, 2020
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