Zalice Velasquez vs. Luis

Zalice Velasquez vs. Luis

Zalice Velasquez vs. Luis

341 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Dechado

152 points
Page 1Page 2

Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged
tags: dumbdecha, idiotdecha

Critiques & Comments
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# 12   Posted: Feb 1 2020, 10:28 PM
Jelly: Damn I love how those first few panels were rendered! Even as rough as it was, the blocks of color do a really good job at conveying what's going on, location and scale and everything. Also your sketches are really fun and have lots of motion behind them (and the lil angry eyebrow on Zalice on pg 2 made me laugh so much, it's such a tiny detail but I fuckin love lil angry eyebrows like that). Really wish there had been more of an ending, cuz it felt like it ended just as I was getting invested!!

Decha: Unfortunately there's not much to comment on here, but I'm intrigued to see where this would've gone if you'd been able to finish! Others have said it already but yeah, try not to be so hard on yourself. Life stuff happens, and beating yourself up isn't going to fix anything really. I believe in you! And I hope to see more comics from you in the future :D

# 11   Posted: Jan 20 2020, 12:09 AM
Hey guys, thanks for the pep talks. Really appreciate them.
Started the battle before the house was rented, so it came as a surprise one day and- Welll, don't wanna sound like a broken record lel.
We move out on February, which is when things should settle down for the two of us.

Jelly: I think Luis yelling in Spanish is my current favorite thing. (...Unless that was the thug screaming? :OOO)
Really liked the character development you were giving him. Sparkledogs are indeed more common in VOID city lolz
Love, love how you drew his fur and big ears. I think I'll take some of the takes you did on him for future drawings.
Thanks for the battle, even if it was a bit of a struggle for both of us to get it done.
Looking forward to see more of Zalice. I love her design and personality!

Community Manager
# 10   Posted: Jan 18 2020, 09:58 PM
Jelly: i love your art and your sketches are great to study. Its really cool to see these early parts of the process. The  action flowed really well, the only bit of action that could  use some gesture improvement was the guy getting hit on the third panel page 3. Where his arms are located and his pose or looks like he was able to brace the punch. But besides that these sketches are great and i look forward to seeing yours next project.

Decha: don’t beat yourself up it’s great you were able to submit something. But that harsh attitude on yourself is holding you back. I do hope all linger stuff gets settled. The fact your were able do anything during that is great. Just keep doing more and appreciate what you n can get done.

# 9   Posted: Jan 17 2020, 07:49 PM
I wanna say thanks for all the feedback, I didn't think I'd get much. And Decha we definitely will have to reconvene on this sometime because I REALLY wanna finish mine and also see where you were going with yours!

But yeah I was really annoyed that I wasn't able to get into the actual interaction , and as a result my own character stars more in what I did get done. I did cut a bit out of what I had planned for that combat sequence to try and get to that point but in the end it wasn't enough.  The 180 degree rule is something I was thinking about at first, but it was also dropped in favor of getting more drawings done faster. That all said I think this is an improvement over my previous comics, particularly in terms of backgrounds and colors and I wanna keep messing with that in future projects

# 8   Posted: Jan 16 2020, 06:00 AM
SirJellyRaptor- I love your art style and all the action here was really dynamic but still easy to follow. Great job!
imo this is also a good example of how an unfinished comic can still look presentable.
No proper crits here- since any issues I have come from the fact its an incomplete story. I'd be interested to see how these too interact in the future.

Dechado- good luck with future comics!
Aaaand don't beat yourself up in the tags you're not an idiot. Try to remember void is a place to make comics for fun and improvement, its not a job we're doing this for free. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and that might be effecting your ability to finish. I really look forward to seeing you produce more in the future, because I see so much promise in your pencils/ characters.

# 7   Posted: Jan 13 2020, 09:19 AM
i loved your part SirJellyRaptor! it might be unfinished but its really easy to follow due to your clear sketches. I also would prefer as mentioned below if you colored under your sketches instead of the lineless attempt you tried there. Its lacking the crispness of your lines and i´d suggest experiementing a little more with this before utilizing it in a deadlinecomic.

Dechado its good you submitted what you have. I hope you get to finish what you do next. good luck!

# 6   Posted: Jan 12 2020, 01:14 AM
SIRJELLYRAPTOR: I like how lively your sketches are. They have a lot of energy and flow. I feel like you could accentuate them and make them part of your style or colour under them and really make them pop so that you can meet tighter or more demanding deadlines while still having a really compelling piece. The actual fight itself is hard to follow because of the previously mentioned 180 rule, but it is very dynamic. Another thing I liked is how you handled your opponent's character. Because I dont have a lot of background on who's is who's, I actually thought that the blue creature was yours because of how gently he was taken and how his personality and needs/thoughts were being addressed. Even though the last page was unfinished, I felt like it had the potential to be tender. Or like a budding friendship to compliment the feelings budding on the first page. Would be nice to see where it goes.

DECHADO: Nothing here to comment on. Good luck in the future.

# 5   Posted: Jan 11 2020, 12:41 PM
Sirjellyraptor; that must have been a spicy blue meatball!

The only thing I have to say to Dechado is there is no need for the negativity in your tags. Life is tough, it is constantly trying to end our existence, don't give it any headway with self-hating comments. We are our own worst enemies so don't give in to yourself! Sounds easy right?

There is always room for improvements and showing up, or in this case posting something, is a good start! Shows folks that you made an attempt. Perhaps a rematch will come around when things settle down for the two of you, aye?

But seriously... what is it with void and anthros? It's like a zoo in this place... Should the humans take up residence in cages for protection? Ok that's all from me the peanut gallery! ;p Good luck!

# 4   Posted: Jan 10 2020, 11:17 PM
Ah shame you both couldn’t finish! Hope things get less hectic for you soon, and good luck finding a new place, Decha.

Jelly - Even though this is incomplete, your sketches are still extremely readable and pleasing to look at. I really liked your rendition of Luis and the dramatic angles you used for the fight. The fully rendered panels you have look great too! I really hope you finish this up to post later bc I’m interested to see how the story would play out!

I’m honestly not sure if this crit would even apply to a fight between four people at once (so if it doesn’t, just ignore this), but the 180 degree rule isn’t followed here. In the action I had to find Zalice as she was coming from a different direction in every panel, and I didn’t have a good idea of the space they were fighting in.

Dechado - Ah man I know you want comments on the comic and I want to give one, but there’s pretty much nothing I can comment on here. It’s good that you didn’t default and at least produced something, but maybe don’t battle when you know you have irl responsibilities that will take up most of your time.

# 3   Posted: Jan 10 2020, 10:46 PM
Unfortunately to hear that both were unfinished products. Understandable IRL gets in the way.

SirJelly: I like the way you draw the characters and the perspectives of the action poses. It made the fight more dynamic. And the concept of Luis feeling like a regular in a city like VOID where anywhere outside would seem estranged is a good thought to experiment on. Only critique is this was more focused on your own Zalice character than an interaction between Zalice and Luis. Though that's probably moot to say if you had planned for a further interaction between the two. Would've loved to see that dynamic happen.

Luis: Sorry you had no time to finish your comic :(. Though there isn't enough for me to say anything as it isn't even coherent to know what was trying to imply on what is going on.

Hopefully one day we can see a finished rematch!

# 2   Posted: Jan 9 2020, 11:51 PM
Got what I had uploaded. Thank you for accepting my open challenge, Decha. Don't feel too bad about not finishing, I didn't get as far as i would have liked either. trying to do a battle over the holidays probably wasn't the brightest idea but I didn't think my family would be doing anything and the last 3 weeks were a lot busier than I had anticipated.

I hope you get your housing situation sorted out, your life is more important than any comic. Maybe we can reconvene later and get both our comics finished up how we want them

# 1   Posted: Jan 9 2020, 07:12 PM
Uploaded what I had.

I'm really, really fucking sorry about this. We managed to rent our house and we've been stressed out by packing and finding a new place.

Want to finish this eventually, because it had shippy moments. Because of course it did.
But for now, I want to focus on myself and my mother.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jan 18th, 2020
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 575
Winner: SirJellyRaptor

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