Jozzik the Great and Kiderance 'Kid' Wilde vs. Ashlan and The Gray Owl

Jozzik the Great and Kiderance 'Kid' Wilde vs. Ashlan and The Gray Owl

Jozzik the Great and Kiderance 'Kid' Wilde vs. Ashlan and The Gray Owl

47.1%
642 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: ash, ashlan, collab, game show shenanigans, gray owl, jozzik the great, kid, kiderance wilde, long shot


52.9%
722 points
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Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
129 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 18 2020, 08:00 AM
what..WHAT!! Both ending in a cliffhanger. You guys are cruel ;_;

Finally got around to reading this and I wasn't  disappointed. Great job on both sides art and storytelling wise. Jozzik really makes a nice setup for comic plots with the super fun and outrageous game show format.  

Ash and Pyras side definitely had an advantage in a more in depth story though. I did not know that Ash was afraid of the dark and the way they worked together in the end was very touching. Kid's random promotional statements made me chuckle as well.

Really hope we get to see the continuation from both sides.  <3

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
400 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 14 2020, 03:26 PM
Super belated comment  but both of these comics were great.

Projectbat: everyone looks very cute in this also your colors in this are also relaly nice. the explanation for Jozzik's power is also cool lore building. I do agree with other people's crits that pulling out the panel in some instances would definitely help. I would love to see more of Jozzik's games even if a continuation to this story doesn't happen.

Pystro: the quality of this is phenomenal and you two make a pro comic team. My only crit is a writting one and it's with the final trial and jozzik saying it's permanent change then going back on his word. My main issue is how the permanence of the situation is not explored, the whole situation would have been the same. They have to face their fears and in the end they overcome it. If permanence is involved it wouldn't be just about facing their fears it would be about having to live a life constantly having to deal with that fear. In particular the line "ash we're almost done." sticks out. They don't know it's not permanent, they would just be getting started living a life constantly with their fears. If you wanted to keep the permanence then it would better to make it a choice they have all the time in the world to talk about it and make the discussion about how can they live like this rather than a race to the cup. However i do think just saying it is temporary is better as doing this gets rid of the importance of permanent.

Permanence is a very important thing and when you as the writer backtrack and undo something you said was permanent, you cheapened the word as well as the stakes of the story going forward. For example, Gray Owl is permanently dead on a meta level we the reader have already seen you backtrack on serious consequences we won't be as invested knowing you can just backtrack it. This seems a little nitpicky but in writing permanence is a very serious thing and you gotta be careful when throwing it out and going back on something someone said was permanent.

But even with that writing crit you two are a top tier team and should work on some more comics together.

Bobo
Web Dev
928 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 7 2020, 09:08 PM
Spoiler: projectheavenbat • show
What a cute comic! Jozzik and Kid are both adorable, and the colors are especially pretty. I enjoyred the premise of this comic, too! Watch out for your program (I'm assuming CSP) aliasing panel borders and speech bubbles. I don't know why it does that, but if you flatten the image before exporting it, that should fix it. There may be a better solution, but I can't think of it off the top of my head. I also feel like you could have zoomed out more on a lot of your panels. I want a wide view from time to time to give me a feeling of the space they're in. But overall, I really enjoyed this comic, and I really hope we get a part 2!

Spoiler: pyrastro • show
I have to admit that I haven't been keeping up on either of these characters' stories, but this comic alone definitely made me want to go back and read them! You two working together was incredibly synergistic, and I hope it doesn't stop here. The Gray Owl is so human here, and seeing Ashlan suddenly go from being big, bad, and kinda over everything to being small and scared was really cool. I think your variety in both panel composition and camera positioning was solid, and honestly I have no complaints. There was a glitch in the middle of page 6, I think, but it wasn't enough to detract from my enjoyment in the least. I can't wait for the finale!

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1084 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 6 2020, 03:04 PM
 PYSTRO- Nice job you two! A combination of what you two do best really shone here- also yowza at that wild page count. Your inks are solid, but I do wish they carried more weight-overall they read thin. A character like Ash seems like she'd pop more if she had some beefier lines that made up her frame. I didn't expect these two characters to jive the way they did- and kinda wanna see more unconventional team ups in void like this??
I personally liked that we get a bit of 'well that's crazy void for you' in order to explain how Ash and Owl get sucked into Long Shot. With all the SDTs, tourneys and other battle maladies we draft our characters for, its neat to have a ridiculous, yet in universe reasoning for it. As someone who no doubt scrapes the underbelly of jobs to make a quick buck it makes sense Ash knows about it and was prolly already on the show. Owls a fancy bird, so it was a nice way for him to be our everyman and have someone explain how it works. My fav bit had to be the panel of his looking around the sofa for an exit.

PROHEAVE- Another slick looking combined effort on both your parts. The colors on this were great. It felt super gameshow-ey and the squishy almost chibi style of owl and Ash is hilarious. I feel that you had such a great gimmick with long shot and being able to run your opponents through the gauntlet, which you did, but soon enough the action was sidelined for self reflection. This slowed the pacing for me in which it just got dull. I dont like how existential and serious this toon is. There's no whimsy, no playfulness to their dialogue. Not even a gag to break up the monotony. The fairy kid has more of a wholesome joy than jozzik, but its the playfulness of a simpleton which I don't think they are.

The two of you left us on quite the cliffhanger, so I expect resolution! >80

Symon_says
Artist
119 comments
# 9   Posted: Feb 2 2020, 01:13 PM
This time on EntervoidZ everyone gets thier dead friends and family back but then the universe has a breakdown and kills them all again. So sad. But there is always next time on the top rated t.v. show around, Long Shot! *hurrah*

These are wonderful. The games were practical and made sense for the content. So does Long Shot air every week?

Not much I could nitpick about. Can't wait to see the next issue!

Heathen
Artist
351 comments
# 8   Posted: Feb 1 2020, 09:11 PM
Wow. Astro inking Pyras is... pro quality.

You guys are a powerhouse team. Got damn.

TheCydork
Artist
198 comments
# 7   Posted: Feb 1 2020, 02:33 AM
I love that both of these comics had similar concepts, with needing to sacrifice or believe they have to sacrifice something great in order to get their wish (and I so look forward to whatever brutal challenge lies ahead in Bat and Kid’s finished half). Not to mention the starting humourous and then getting deep haha.

Bat and Kid - Okay, art first - this was super cute. I really like the soft, subtle rendering and enjoyed seeing chibi depictions of normally tough-looking characters. Although the glitter did sometimes feel a bit much, for the most part I thought it was fine; it really sold the game show aspect and helped remind me where it was set even when there were few full shots of the stage.

As for writing, I loved the background humour, like Grey Owl wearing a helmet over his armour and Kid’s little comments of “Mr. the Great”. Jozzik just being a meme was fun too. Getting to the end I was very intrigued by this idea of Jozzik taking “payment” from contestants to prevent the universe from doing so. It gave me a whole new perspective on Jozzik’s powers and really made me think about it, like... is he secretly some kind of god-like trader of suffering?

On the negative side, a lot of the panels felt very cramped. They were often pretty small while still containing most of the cast AND half or full body shots to boot. The text was very small, the dialogue seemed more of an afterthought and was squished in awkwardly, even though the speech bubbles alone were imo pretty well divided and organised. Page 9 basically sums up all the issues I have. Some of the action also could have been shown more, like with Ashlan winning slippery slope.

Astro and Pyras - This blew me away. Was not expecting this kind of angst and darkness in a cute game show and I really enjoyed it. I gotta know what’s going to happen to Grey Owl’s wish and who those shooters are!

First of all, you two are a great pair art-wise. Astro’s inks and Pyras’s dramatic greyscale fit together so damn nicely. I love this interpretation of Jozzik - great expressions, great gestures, and a really fun choice to make the microphone come out of his tail! Grey Owl is also Aesthetic. And... there’s not much else I can say that I haven’t already said on other comics.

Writing-wise I enjoyed the humour in this one as well. Owl frantically checking the exit and the “vigilantes will be kept masked” commentary were among my favourite little moments. Owl and Ash’s interactions were very organic and strangely endearing too. However I did have a pretty big problem with the writing in the last few pages of the comic.

There was zero conflict surrounding the choice at the end. With such a terrifying ultimatum, I expected Ash and Owl to at least hesitate before making their choice to go for the trophy, but they don’t. Neither mentions it. I know Ash is stuck in the moment and panicking, but to me, if she is panicking so much she might have yelled something like “no! I can’t live like this forever!” and resist going to the trophy at first. If they knew that Jozzik was lying, they didn’t show any sign of that either. I thought I had misread Jozzik’s deal because there was no reaction, until at the end when he says he may have twisted the truth and Ash gets angry at him.

CandycornRhino
Artist
58 comments
# 6   Posted: Feb 1 2020, 01:35 AM
Holy fucking christ, I've no words for this battle. BUT HERE ARE WORDS ANYWAYS.

Halfbreed & Heavenbat: Awesome job getting a fully colored finished comic. I really like the colors overall, really showed off the flamboyishness that is the Jozzik and Kid, which made the show for someone like Owl and Ash that more rediculous. Very clean, and the images of Ash and Owl wearing helmets are fucking hilarious. The to be continued ending however, I hope to see a resolution to this.

Astro & Pyras: I AUDIBLY GASPED AT THE END OF THIS COMIC. The monotone really set for a more darker scene for a silly idea like the game show, which made the show more convincing at its rediculousness, especially with the military grade sponsorships. The dialogue between Ash and Owl is spot on, really shows a delicate dynamic between them, and how it both cooperates and backfires on them. BUT GODDAMNIT THE FEELS IN THIS IS REAL.

Fucking epic battle you four!!! AWESOME JOBS!!!

Astrodile
Global Moderator
119 comments
# 5   Posted: Feb 1 2020, 12:12 AM
Double Note! Following Bats suit and doing a breakdown of who did what, Pyras and I plotted the story out, he produced the script/sketches, and bless his whole heart, also did the grayscale with lighting and shading. I did the inks. Thanks in return to Bats and Kidlet for battling us, and thanks especially to Pyras for making the comic as wonderful as it was. :>

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 4   Posted: Feb 1 2020, 12:05 AM
Note: Astro and I have the pencils for the finale of this story and will resubmit the complete comic after voting

Heavenbat
Artist
113 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 31 2020, 11:48 PM
Submitted!! Thanks again Pyras and Astro for doing this battle with us ^^
Unfortunately Kidlet and I weren't able to get as much done as we'd originally planned, thanks to family stuff and then Kidlet getting sick for a bit. We were able to finish what I believe is a decent "chapter" though it does leave off on a bit of a cliffhanger--I have plans to finish the story at some point as a BB, but if I'm real with myself I know that miiiight not actually happen.
Either way, it may not have been the completed product we were aiming for, but we're both still happy with what we did accomplish, and look forward both to seeing the other side and to hearing what y'all think!!

I put a small credits thing in the first page, but a more thorough breakdown of the work distribution is as follows: I plotted out the story and wrote the script, along with doing some quick thumbs for the pages. Then Kidlet sketched out (most) of the pages, tweaking things and making it look more comicky, and then she did the lineart. I then colored and shaded (where I could), along with adding just. way too much glitter haha. Also the dialogue!

Flytee
Artist
126 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 13 2019, 12:34 PM
MY BODY IS READY

Heavenbat
Artist
113 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 13 2019, 10:45 AM
Y'all ready for some SHENANIGANS?

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 6 weeks
Ended: Feb 7th, 2020
Votes Cast: 15
Page Views: 663
Winner: Astrodile and PyrasTerran
 

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