Intro Story / Lucky Lucy

Intro Story / Lucky Lucy

Intro Story — Lucky Lucy


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ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
316 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 9 2019, 09:47 PM
Your art is definitely getting better, i do like the colors in this as well as the backgrounds, you're getting more consistent with them and adding more details in them. Honestly though the story i was confused by, i have no idea how that store makes any sense and it really seemed absurd in a more confusing way than interesting way. It doesn't feel like a believable store, a big part of making absurdist funny is taking something that is believable to some extremes. Others have mentioned this being a caricature but that is something you can work to avoid in your future comics.

Radji
Artist
537 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 8 2019, 04:31 AM
That one character is triggering my inner "honhonhon I am such a Bastard". Its been years since we had any scarmatch punching bags in void those characters are so fun. I agree with Kubo that the trick will be to use the scars and their consequences to expand her character

kubo
Artist
63 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 7 2019, 06:58 AM
I'm one who really values intro comics, and I think this one does a pretty good job of establishing who your character is and their general motivation in Void. Even though I did read the character's bio I feel I got everything I needed from these two pages. That being said, I am a little worried about Lucy becoming too much of a racial stereotype. I agree with Cy and Bat, however I think this can be mitigated through future comics by expanding on her character, switching her wardrobe around every battle, and generally writing her as a relatable person. I think this can all be done without changing any of her flaws and bad habits. I've read your other comics and a believe that you have the skill to do it right.

TheCydork
Artist
104 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 5 2019, 07:23 AM
I think you’re definitely getting better at making characters feel grounded in their environment as opposed to floating in them, that’s the biggest thing that stuck out to me. The anatomy also seemed better.

I do have to echo Bat though and the caricature vibes I get from her coloured my view of the whole comic. To me it isn’t just her skimpy clothes and oversexualised body, it’s the huge bright lips against dark skin and the fact that she’s portrayed as rather stupid as well. It doesn’t look good at all and made me pretty uncomfortable.

Flytee
Artist
86 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 5 2019, 04:55 AM
I have mixed feelings about this intro and character.
The art here was lively and expressive, which is something I think you excel in.  I also appreciate that you've made an effort to give this character a distinct, Valley girl voice.

I read her bio after the comic, and I actually really like the concept. A ditzy but determined girl, who will work any jobs to get by. The fact she keeps trying despite getting sacked constantly is quite a likeable trait.
An intro playing out more like a montage showing this cycle and all the wacky/ terrible jobs she's had could've worked well. Without reading the bio I would've thought this comic was just a one off random excuse to thrust her into void city.

Now. THAT DESIGN. I'm not going to lie, it's off-putting. Because she's literally just tits, ass and lips. There's nothing wrong was sexy characters. In fact they can be extremely interesting when you humanise them, I'd love to see you do that in future comics. Because this girl clearly has a personality under those bangs.

Some things that might help with that -
- I'd like to understand why she choses to dress like that, does she have a style icon?
- Dress her for work in future comics. It'll be more realistic and opportunity to show her reactions to ugly uniforms.
- Does she have any insecurities?
- Why is she so driven to work all the time?

And yeah...I wouldn't repeat Bat's comment, but its a good point and something to be mindful of moving forward.





Heavenbat
Artist
78 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 4 2019, 11:02 PM
art-wise not bad, and a fairly straightforward story. Got a good chuckle out of me a couple of times... however, I feel like I kinda gotta address the character herself here. Specifically, her design: it... feels uncomfortably racist to me, tbh. The big lips, skimpy clothes, and hyper-sexualized body (especially the big hips and ass) are both historically pretty racist ways to portray black women. I get that this is kind of your art style in general, but it feels more pronounced on this character, and I feel like this is something that you should probably be aware of when you're designing a character. Sorry if that comes off as harsh, and I hope it was purely accidental, but I felt like it needed to be said either way.

Dechado
Artist
242 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 4 2019, 10:57 PM
Ink Robber.

I'm assuming it said Bank Robber, but I- Yeah I don't know, it was funny to me.
Your backgrounds have improved.
Looking forward to see Lucy's adventure on getting a job.

SnowyMoth
Artist
19 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 4 2019, 10:27 PM
I think Lucy is an interesting character, I'm looking forward to seeing what other jobs she gets! I was a bit confused on the first page with the text, however, particularly between the second and third panel. Congrats on getting her in. ( :

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