Rumble Roulette / Jo-Anne vs. Luis

Rumble Roulette / Jo-Anne vs. Luis

Rumble Roulette — Jo-Anne vs. Luis

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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Dechado

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Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged
tags: jo-anne, sparkledog

Critiques & Comments
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# 6   Posted: Dec 7 2019, 07:35 AM
Boogi - Gonzo is the word that first comes to mind when I read your comics. And I weirdly love it. The cant at which you write the dialogue in this comic is so enjoyable, whether or not it aligns with your opponent's personality. Jo-Anne is a funky character and one that I'm surprised to really like. At first glance, all of your pages have really dynamic layouts with great uses of blacks and negative space. However, there are a lot of panels that could have done with more love. Architecture is a pain in the butt, but an attractive background can do wonders for a story's atmosphere. The building in panel three of page one has so much character and it could have had more if you tightened up those lines. Its one of the reason's I came back to Void was to force myself to get better at cityscapes. This is a genuinely funny comic and Im excited to read more of them.

Dechado - I love all your pups! This is a sweet comic with a bit of character growth (on both sides possible) thrown in for good measure. Good Job!

# 5   Posted: Dec 4 2019, 04:33 PM
Boogi - I enjoyed the way you drew Luis’s paws. They were very cute, especially on the second page when he just patted that girl to heal her, haha.

I have no idea what’s happening in the comic though. I don’t understand how Jo-Anne was the one responsible for poisoning the river. She dropped the money doughs in the river a couple of seconds before Luis shows up, and then he just blames her? She asks to fight and suddenly he talks about seeing deep scars within her. Her poses also seem incredibly random and not related to what she says. It was all very erratic.

Pages 3 and 4 especially had me going “wtf” because what is Jo-Anne doing? She looks wet so I’m guessing she came out of the river but we don’t see that, just her standing there with a broken-looking spine, then bam money doughs gone, then the next page... she grabs her crotch? And then clenches something? What is she clenching? I don’t understand.

Dechado - A short and sweet comic :) Is the goat his main father figure or one of the many monks who raised him?

# 4   Posted: Dec 3 2019, 10:47 AM
Thank you for the compliments!
I enjoyed your comic too, I was very curious to see what you would do with Jo-Anne; you portrayed her perfectly.
I really liked your story, it had a good message in it.

# 3   Posted: Dec 3 2019, 06:08 AM
Goshdangit, you draw AND write my character better than I do. xD

I liked the dynamic between them, Jo-Anne is more wild and passionate, while Luis is also very angry, but manages to control himself.
Found it funny that both of us focused on our characters being somewhat kind to each other.
Loved your inks. The background for Page 1 was very neat, and some of the perspective shots for Jo-Anne were really nice.

# 2   Posted: Dec 1 2019, 09:39 AM
Uploaded mine too, just in case I miss the deadline.

Happy Holidays.

# 1   Posted: Nov 30 2019, 09:34 AM
I turned mines in already. I don’t know what else to add to it, so happy holidays! :)

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
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