Meredith's Story Tavern Vol.1 / Craven, Juniper Steelestring, Stein, and Flower Power

Meredith's Story Tavern Vol.1 / Craven, Juniper Steelestring, Stein, and Flower Power

Meredith's Story Tavern Vol.1 — Craven, Juniper Steelestring, Stein, and Flower Power

by Cab, ArtsandGoodies, and


76%
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14

Crit level: No preference
tags: craven, Flower Power, juniper steelestring, stein



Critiques & Comments
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TheCydork
Artist
76 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 27 2019, 03:04 AM
I liked the photomanipulated cover, it works well seeing as this is supposed to be kind of a tome of stories. Flower Power’s expressions were super cute and their story Hurt Me. I also really enjoyed the reveal in Loose Threads, it was super creepy.

Onto crits:

One More For The Road - Sketchiness as a stylistic choice is all well and good but this was so sketchy it felt messy, and I have no idea what was happening on page 5. It felt like someone’s sketchbook page slapped into the middle of the story. The dialogue seemed very rushed. In the first few pages there were already two typos and one pretty clunky sentence - “quite” instead of “quiet”, “defiantly” instead of “definitely” , and the sentence “exorcise this town’s ghost problems” which just doesn’t make sense. You exorcise ghosts, there’s no need to add “problems”. I also agree with Astro in that there didn’t seem to be a conclusion.

The Lost Garden - The blurred lines were super obvious here next to the crisp speech bubbles in some panels. And yeah the standard text on the gravestone really threw me, I feel like handwritten words would have been more effective.

Loose Threads - I actually don’t have much crit except that there were only 3 fullbodies in the whole comic and I feel more space could have been used to make things more impactful.

Astrodile
Artist
107 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 27 2019, 01:46 AM
*PREFACE: Though I break this collection of stories into their individual critiques, some points I have I generally echo with all  portions overall.

Hey, wonderful work on these short stories! It's always lovely to see more collaborations on this sight, and it is especially rare to see it be broken down into several short stories in one beyond battle rather then several short stories demonstrated in individual battles. Which is fun and unique in its own way! We get to know a little more about all the characters used here, and because it is presented in this story tale format from Meredith I don't really need to worry as a reader about reminding myself where these take place in their timelines-- Just generally in the past! Overall the writing for each story was clearly different, and I appreciate that the themes of these are playing with, and going for a different stylization for each story is a lovely touch as well.

I would love to see more of these in the future, hell, I'd love to JOIN in one of these! Keep up the wonderful work, y'all <3

Now for them crits! Sorry if they're long ashbdfajbshdf

One More For The Road

   1. Lack of establishing shots.
   2. Women suffer from same-face syndrome. This is a common theme, that several of your female characters who seemingly are intended to be reoccurring ones and not just one-offs, have very similar facial features. Full lips, small nose and eyes that are thick on the eyelashes, even their body types are similar to an extent. You show skill in being able to differentiate women but it isn't appreciated enough in your designs, especially if I were to compare your male characters.
   3. Dialogue is all fitted into one bubble, making them large and cropped. Try to separate them into 'breaths', and plan the bubbles layout/placement in respect to the characters own.
   4. A lot of close-up shots, that are waist up as well.  The comic suffers from this, because it's just so…Cramped. Poses are made stiff.
   5. The thick sharpie outline for the 5th page at the bottom is such a deterrent from the rest of the style that it feels slapped/rushed in to fill space. For all intents and purposes, we already had one portion, a large one too, of that page be of Stein with mouth agape, why add another to the bottom?
   6. Text size play. It's not as though you CAN'T fiddle with it, but it is entirely situational. On page 6, I don't find it appealing visually, and if anything Dario's first dialogue bubble takes up so much space that it forces Stein's own to interrupt the bottom panels.
   7. It doesn't feel as though there was any proper conclusion to this story. The ending, the final panel of Dario saying "No need to dig up the past…", his somber expression and his need to look away, the emotion that should leave a final impact here fails to do so because it is shoved into the corner, we don't even get to see the entirety of Dario's expression.
   I would have loved the escalation of events here if the environment was properly shown, as well as fullbodies perpetrated in dynamic poses/angles. Pages 5-6 are implied to be action packed/a blur of intense happenings-- Yet I do not feel it at all as a reader.
   
Lost Garden
   1. Default font. In the final page of this story, the Arial font for the gravestone took me out of it more then anything. I would have loved to see some typography play being used to match the gritty and dark scene that is being played here.

Loose Threads
   1. Gore. I guess this is a weird critique because I know it's not everyone's niche, and I only enjoy it to an /extent/, but I guess with that in mind when I got to page 13, it wasn't really packin' that horror much for me. It's a bunch of red tendons that do not mesh well with the animatronic-like anatomy of Juniper because there is no real facial anatomy being shown in the first place. With the muscle anatomy of a fox face not done to any general accuracy, I do not get a feel for her hollow innards, the fact that all that was previously organic is replaced with mechanical. It unfortunately feels very 2D, very flat and only maroon. With her face was reduced to a black shadow as well, these next 2 pages were overall a miss for me.
   2. Continuing on the gore, but on a different divergent, the use of copy and pasting. This was used in the final page of Lost Garden with a zoom in on Flower Power's crying expression, which I didn't mind. However, on page fourteen's second and third panels, it certainly did. Copy and pasting a panel I feel as though best executed when dialogue is better emphasized in those portions, or even the lack thereof. To allow an audience to soak in the visual, let an emotion permeate a little longer. However, it fell flat in these panels, and ruins the tension if anything. As threatening as Juniper's words are, as scared as I am supposed to understand the agent is, these two panels /should/ have been very emphasized on the horror that is Junipers abilities. But I don't, because those emotions are not articulated in any dynamic sense in relation to body language. Even the act of the murder is boring, as the wires don't even move, the guys head is just slightly tilted back with a blood splatter brush sprayed atop it.

Flutterbyes
Artist
218 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 15 2019, 02:46 PM
I've been eager for more Meredith, and more style experiments... which makes it a little hard to critique, since you're deliberately going in different visual directions for each one, pushing yourself into territory you might not normally do. The first story's look started out a little busy, but then evened out.. but the thick lines on page 5 really look out of place, and not in a "I meant to do it and it's symbolic" way. Second story is perfect because it features my baby in a bittersweet little ghost story. It's nice to think they managed to get a grave. I'm not sure I really get the dialog, though ("Can you help me remember" "I can, but I need you to remember'). The third is a nice horror reveal. Since the garrote is a play on "thread" the part where she actually brings it out probably could have been a bit bigger and more dynamically pose, I think.

Flytee
Artist
72 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 14 2019, 03:05 AM
Well done everyone! I really enjoyed all of these stories :D  
I also love how Mereditch strings them together, its a really smart concept and I'm excited to see more collabs like this.  

Brabbit
Artist
11 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 13 2019, 01:09 PM
A great bundle of short stories from some really skilled and passionate folks!
Great work everyone!

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
299 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 11 2019, 03:02 PM
For this my collab part was only Junipers story. I did the writting and colors for it and can did all the lineart. also it looks like the first page the lighint layers got messed up, sorry about that.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Nov 18th, 2019
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