The Devil and the Deceased / Devil's Tooth vs. "Eva"

The Devil and the Deceased / Devil's Tooth vs. "Eva"

The Devil and the Deceased — Devil's Tooth vs. "Eva"

by Nothin

46.1%
212 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged

by Energy

53.9%
248 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques



Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
299 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 28 2019, 10:16 PM
Nothin: aw it's a shame it got uploaded wrong becuase those backgrounds are really nice, maybe you could do some bbs of this comic and the other ones.

Energy: You're improving and i like the inks here. I do think however your problems are system of a bigger issue, in that you have such a huge fear of failure you stop yourself for quickly doing rough ideas that you then use to build up on. this applies both to your art and your writting, you need to let loose more and practice doing more building blocks and not worry about them being perfect. It's more important that they're there quicker so you can do more work on them. Same for your writting it's more important to just put words down and not worry if it's perfect because once it's down you can work on it. But when you hesitate and try to do the perfect thing on the first try and slowly work that one you get a worse result than just doing it immediately and trying to work with that.
Also if you ever don't know what to do ask someone for advice here. There are plenty of people around who can help with most any kind of art or writting question you have you just gotta not be afraid to ask.

Elyan
Artist
84 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 23 2019, 08:03 AM
nothing: Do you mean this isnt your comic? Do you care to specify?
Not knowing anythin else. I really dont know where this was supposed to lead. Its a bummer its far from finished. I really dig your work on the backgrounds though. Looking forward to your next finished entry.

energy: on the topic below. speech bubble placement is an aspect that is, like everything else, a development process. I agree that there is room for improvement. And I´m sure this improvement will be seen in later comics. Nothing i´d stress about right now for you can follow the text and story fluently. To me this simply isnt a priority.

i agree with flytee that this is your best work so far.
I like your obvious experimentation with digital inking like Evas highlights on the hair. I´m curious what your development will improve upon next.
But to be clear on this. You need to practice basics like anatomy and proportions.
While you do improve clearly overall, i feel like you still don´t have much better understanding on how our body works and what makes us move the way we do. Its like you still use a blob method or something else very simplified to build your figures. This is not bad per se. But you gathered enough practice in this level that i´m certain you can make the jump and built up on these simplified methods.
Share art studies with us. Try complex drawings I´m sure you´ll experience a change in how you attempt your art even more that way.

TheCydork
Artist
76 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 22 2019, 01:00 AM
That's... an issue. Everyone has their own ways of comicking, but it's fundamental to plan the panels with the text in mind. Speech bubbles aren't an afterthought that you figure out where to add when the pictures are done - you need to make space for them at the same time as the images. Even estimating the size of a bubble, scribbling a blob and seeing how it looks in the panel will make a difference. If the panel is too small, make it bigger or break up/cut down the text, don't shrink it to fit.

Energy
Artist
126 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 21 2019, 09:11 PM
Yes, I did write a script.

However, I always do the text last, otherwise, I would have no idea where to put it when I'm finished with everything else.

TheCydork
Artist
76 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 21 2019, 05:12 PM
With all due respect Energy, I’m really not sure how you can blame a time constraint on text for most of the issues I mentioned. Did you not script the comic beforehand? Include the text in the thumbs to see if it fits? Are you saying you drew the characters blindly and only worked out the dialogue in the last half hour? As for size, in about half the panels you had plenty of space for all of the text and would only have needed to change the font and bubble size, which takes a few seconds. The other panels, yes would have taken more time to edit, but some of them could have been easily and quickly fixed.

Energy
Artist
126 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 20 2019, 07:20 PM
Cydork - Okay, I gotta admit it.  I only had roughly half an hour by the time I was ready to add the text.  That's where most of the problems came from.

TheCydork
Artist
76 comments
# 3   Posted: Nov 20 2019, 05:53 PM
Nothin - Really enjoyed seeing some more complex backgrounds from you! Also liked the wispy effect you used for Eva’s hair and in the background on the last page.

Energy - I really didn’t like this, sorry. When I first read it, I didn’t know who Devil’s Tooth was and assumed she was some kind of omniscient being who’s come to talk to Eva.. but then I found out she was just a magical girl. Why does she know what happened to Eva after she died, and that Kazue is going to die in a year? Why does she randomly show up and act like a dick to Eva only to leave? In Kazue’s bio you say she’s going to die so the little information she gives isn’t even new to us. It just feels like you assigned Devil’s Tooth new knowledge and personality for the sake of being cruel to your own character for absolutely no reason. The whole comic feels unnecessary and mean-spirited to me. The only thing I liked was that Eva didn’t wallow at the end and decided to try to do something about the situation.

Additionally, the text is extremely small and hard to read. If you cut down on some of the dialogue or space it out more you could use a bigger font size. On page 4 you start to use a better size but then immediately go back to tiny. I couldn’t tell what the background was supposed to be and the huge disparity in line width on the same character was very distracting e.g. on page 4 Devil’s Tooth’s fringe, bangs, nose and chin are all lined thickly while her mouth and the rest of her hair are thin. Kazue’s nose and collar are thick, with her eyes and mouth being thin. Other people have already pointed out anatomy and face issues so I won’t repeat them.

Nothin
Artist
39 comments
# 2   Posted: Nov 20 2019, 03:30 PM
mine got uploaded wrong :/

Flytee
Artist
72 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 20 2019, 08:39 AM
Energy- Good work! This is easily the best comic I've read by you. Here are some of my thoughts, hopefully they're helpful.
what I liked
-Eva's hair, blocking it out was a good move and worked nicely. In future maybe try adding the hairlines over the black, too avoid little pixel specs around the line art.
-The way you draw Devil tooth, the two characters were really distinct. Which was good to see. Sometimes with more anime-inspired styles faces can look too similar. You dodged that here.
-The camera wasn't completely static- your use of close ups felt appropriate.

crits
- Expressions were a bit stiff. I honestly thing just adding eyebrows will help a lot here.
- Devil tooths role in this story was kinda odd. I'm not sure why she was tormenting Eva or how she knew so much about her. I think some context would've helped here. Honestly, If I didn't know who Devil tooth was I would've assumed she was your interpretation of the devil or something xD
- General anatomy etc has some issues, but I find most artists are aware of this type of thing so I wouldn't harp on too much. Just keep drawing the human form and practising from photo references.

Nothin- I really love devil tooth and your art style is honestly one of my favorites on this site. So I'm gutted their isn't more here! Whats completed looks great, but I can't really comment on it properly as a comic.
I'll just say I'm looking forward to hopefully reading something more finished in the future!


Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 27th, 2019
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 304
Winner: Energy
 

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