▲Where Angels Fear to Tread▽ / Spoiler vs. Rocio

▲Where Angels Fear to Tread▽ / Spoiler vs. Rocio

▲Where Angels Fear to Tread▽ — Spoiler vs. Rocio

by Orion

345 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

429 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18Page 19Page 20Page 21Page 22Page 23Page 24Page 25

Crit level: No preference
tags: magical girl, rocio, spoiler, vanity

Critiques & Comments
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Community Manager
# 8   Posted: Nov 11 2019, 05:38 PM
Thanks for the comments everyone

Re: Spoiler's question gimmick:
With just a week to draw, I found myself running out of time trying to find a new way to utilize the Q&A thing that hadn't already been done before. With Spoiler having fought so many times this month I saw many of my initial ideas already done expertly by other artists. Be it deadline panic or a simple lapse in creativity I couldn't think of a way to use it that I was satisfied with, so I chose to not use it, and instead focus on the other element of Spoiler that I really like: the boogeyman, Michael Myers archetype, and started thinking about how he'd fight with accurate thrusts and geometry, fitting of a billiards monster. While I stand by having used thought with Spoiler in a different way, I didn't really succeed for the audience and I own up to that

Community Manager
# 7   Posted: Nov 8 2019, 09:22 PM
Orion: I like that you worked with the previous comics and made Spoiler have this weakness of being forced to answer questions, and him answering in Spanish was really nice as well. I do like the interesting layouts but I do think you should add some more clarity with the panel borders as well as adding some gutter space. Like page 3 would have been more clear with borders and page 4 the panel borders have the same line width as the characters so they don't read as panel borders. Beyond that great comics and I feel spoiled with all the Spoiler comics you gave us.

Pyras: 25 pages in one week of this quality is insane and because of such a huge amount quality content in that time is simply crazy good. I don't really have anything art wise to crit other than with such a quick creative pace you should work more on your webcomic project. More important than any plot the success of a web-comic is consistently updating, if you're still struggling with your plot keep those parts vague and begin and figure it out as you go, plenty of big webcomics do this or add elements later on.

Other's have mentioned the issue with Spoiler but i think it's systemic of a bigger writing issue in this comic, which is that this comic plays it a bit too safe (I say bigger writing issue but it's mostly differences in opinions of types of stories). What i mean by this is that you add elements to the story in order to add tension or spice up the plot but then write them out or don't expand on them enough for them to leave serious impacts that could drastically change the trajectory of the story.

To start with, Spoiler is a big monster and challenge for Rocio to face and he does what he needs to in that role. However you play it safe and don't do any of the things that make Spoiler Spoiler or have him do things that could result in a much deeper dive, like having Rocio ask him a question about her demon or something to show us she's wavering on her resolve.

Also the magical girl squad is there to show Rocio lost someone close to her and show that she is special for all the trials she went through. They did that well but by the end of this story you also went the safe route and made it so you could write them all away so you don't have to bring them up again besides the form of mild trauma. You wrote off most of them well but Teya's felt forced. It comes off as you had her retire so you wouldn't have to include her in future stories. I feel like you were going for trying to reinforce the mental strain Rocio is going through by having a more normal person quit but I think having her stay you could have given a much stronger payoff with the other girl having a huge breakdown in the middle of a fight and Rocio trying to console her.

Also over the comics Rocio is starting to feel like she has plot armor. Whenever she's been in danger and has had no way out she's been saved either by Sachiel or her beast mark and it's starting to deflate the tension of her comics (re-reading this page 8 where Sachiel saves Rocio right after he did nothing about the other girl is kind of unintentionally funny) . There have also been no real negative effects shown by the Beast Mark. The closest thing is that because of her Beast mark she had to move suddenly and lost contact temporarily with a friend. However now that we know she has had a lover killed in front of her, temporarily losing a new friend is not much of a cost. i feel like either the Beast mark needs to take more from her, fail to save her, or Rocio is able to overpower it and work herself out of a bad situation. As it stands right now between Beast Mark and Sachiel, Rocio has nothing to worry about since one of those two things will save her from any situation.

That being said even with those things i don't like in the writing you successfully convey the emotions you want to and develop Rocio in the way you wanted to with this comic so good job and this pace is insanity.

# 6   Posted: Nov 8 2019, 04:32 PM
Pyras: I am gonna echo some of the other comments in that spoiler felt like he wasnt well represented. I think while your writing is pretty solid in most parts, the story feels like it could very much have been a BB, with how little focus there was on spoiler and how poorly utilized he was in terms of narrative. There was also some big jumps pacing wise. The transition between 24 and 25 in particular stood out to me.

Artwise your stuff is clean and some of those panels are fantasic. But a nitpick I have is that every so often I feel like you get very lloose with your line art around certein scenes. Both in action, some of the lines are less defined and to fin or not connected and in they the big talky one (p23.. Rocio looks very sharp, but her teammates lines and head is much more loosely defined. It makes her face look inconsistent in shape. Obviously,  Rocio you draw all the time,  so its easier to keep her consistent.

Orion: I do love what your doing withhe inks nand spotblacks. BUt it was a bit hard to follow at times and you could do with sitting down and study pacing of some of the comics you enjoy. The "Z" as rigid and annoying it is to adhear to at times, is very important for your flow and how your eye follow the action!

Writing wise, like Pyras, you could have done a better job giving some flair and importance to your opponents charachter. I do love the "dialogue" of Spoiler throughout. YOu got some of voids raddest ideas at times my dude. Keep at it!

# 5   Posted: Nov 8 2019, 12:03 PM
Awesome  job both of you. I enjoyed both versions. I do agree with the previous crits so I won't repeat myself here.

Orion - I love the continuity here from your previous comics. You're getting better with your inks and spot blacks too. I really don't know what kind of content  to expect since this is a 1 weeker but I think you're able to produce a solid content. THe paneling or lack thereof throws me off a little bit but it's  not really that hard to read after a 2nd look.

Pyras - HOLY MOLY. What a ride this comic was. It's like watching a full episode of a magical girl cartoon. The art, the action , the characters are all impressive. I did get confused on the paneling for page 12  and I felt like everyone forgot about Blazing Maria right away (especially since Rocio and her did have some sort of close relationship). However, that can also be attributed to the fact that everything happens so fast and I am sure they had time to mourn after the curtains closed. Those are really nitpicks though but I decided to just point it out anyway. For a 1 week (even a 4 week!) comic, this is perfect aside from the fact that I wish Spoiler was characterized better.  

I really appreciate the depth you give to your characters' backstory and you can safely say that I am hooked on Rocio's story.

# 4   Posted: Nov 8 2019, 02:24 AM
Pyras- urgh I just freaking love your comics. The art's lovely and the story further fleshed out Rocio and her lore. The additional characters were fun and worked for the story. My only complaint, is that I don't feel like Spoiler's gimmick was utilized as well as it could've been in this story.  He could've been replaced with any monster.

Orion- this was a cool little story, i liked the way you ended it at midnight, that was clever. The page layouts are quit experimental, its occassionally kinda messy and hard to follow. But I appricate not just seeing straight forward static panels, I'm keen to see your pages continue to develop.

# 3   Posted: Nov 6 2019, 09:11 PM
I’ll try to come back with some deeper critiques, but just a quick impression: One comic featured Spoiler doing nothing but answering questions, and the other was all action and failed to take advantage of Spoiler’s defining character gimmick, asking him no questions at all. This was the biggest weakness of both comics, as Orion’s side made Spoiler seem a little TOO easy to exploit, and missed the opportunity to use the question and answer mechanic to really compose a tense scene full of character development. The idea of someone sitting in a room with Spoiler asking him questions, knowing that when they run out of questions they will die, is a great premise, but this one didn’t nail it. On Pyras’s side, as awesome as Spoiler’s actions are, despite some of the long shots really stripping some of the dynamism and power from him, and lending an unwanted comedic quality to some moments where Spoiler is clearly meant to be seen as a serious threat, nobody thought to ask him any questions.

# 2   Posted: Nov 3 2019, 06:33 AM
Orion - Wahh thanks for including Gold in this! And no not just because he’s my character - I like that you linked up your 24 hr comics, and are now linking them to this battle. I like the delaying by asking questions (seems like something he’d do haha) and damn. The last page was super cool. Is that Estrella coming to drag him back down to whatever hell he climbed out of?? Regardless, it’s really dramatic and I love how you made month of the dead an in-universe and almost Cinderella-like event with the jig being up at midnight haha.

I feel like Rocio needed more of a presence in this comic though. She just walks around in the background, tries to whack Spoiler and then the comic ends. Apart from her one comment in Spanish, she could have been any hero, especially on page 4. I feel like Gold had more of a spotlight, which flatters me but weakened the story imo.

Pyras - Uh, wow. 25 fully rendered pages in a week? Amazing job, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. You pulled off the black and white look very well, Spoiler especially looked fantastic, and my favourite pages are 19, 21, 22 and 24. I liked your interpretation of the sinister side of the whole magical girl thing. Also I mean, I’m really curious about Rocio so getting to see more of her was great. If this was a B.B. I’d have pretty much no crit beyond little nitpicks.

However, I think you have a similar problem to Orion in that Spoiler wasn’t utilised very well. He feels like a generic monster, and could easily have been swapped out while leaving the story the same. I understand that you wanted to tell some of Rocio’s history, and you did so very well, but at the expense of your opponent. He’s just a menacing figure, with not even one line. The concept of a being that communicates as an 8-ball and is bound to answer any question is super interesting and I would have liked to see that woven in!! Even Something as small as asking him what his business, and him answering with a vague saying before attacking would have personalised things.

Community Manager
# 1   Posted: Nov 2 2019, 06:51 PM

This is a pure B/W comic in the spirit of Inktober (couple days late) and trying some new things I wanna push further going forward

This is a prequel comic that ends right where Rocio's intro comic kicks off. Regardless of this I hope it's still exciting for some of you

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Nov 9th, 2019
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 670
Winner: PyrasTerran

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