Black Swan vs. Lilo

Black Swan vs. Lilo

Black Swan vs. Lilo

by JCee

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Critiques & Comments
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Kozispoon
Approval Committee
1055 comments
# 14   Posted: Nov 9 2019, 12:02 AM
JCEE- Man, I could only wish to produce a lien when I'm down in the dumps, say nothing of a fully fledged comic. You've really just taken i to another level since Heavyweight. You're one of the few Voiders I know who really bangs out professional grade comics, I'm lowkey surprised I havent seen them in my local comic shop.

I love that this introduces new elements and exhumes that nitty gritty bad stuff. I think its fascinating that the warehouse district is kind of a boogeyman beyond Remy. It makes it feel more real to have what is essentially an irrational fear like this cuz it just dredges up too much trauma.

I certainly hope you're on the mend cuz you left me on the edge of my seat with this battle!

Rivana
Artist
52 comments
# 13   Posted: Oct 21 2019, 02:20 PM
Sorry to hear that you've been dealing with stuff JCee. Hopefully things are looking up for you now. Nevertheless, the comic you produced has such a great quality, I can't even tell you struggled with it. Only crit is what others have posted already that there's not a lot of info about Lilo's motivations and why she needed Swan to take her to the warehouse.  Considering the circumstances, you really did an outstanding job.

Looking forward to battling Swan one day myself! But for now focus on feeling better and take good care of yourself <3

BoogidiBzdo
Artist
33 comments
# 12   Posted: Oct 21 2019, 06:30 AM
@Jcee: Your art has a professional look to it. I think you managed to set up an interesting interaction between the enigmatic Lilo and Black Swan. It is interesting to see where she goes from here.

Flutterbyes
Artist
218 comments
# 11   Posted: Oct 20 2019, 12:38 PM
JCee: Wonderful, expressive art as always. I get that Swan isn't her most rational right now because of trauma, but this storyline does seem a little... forced? Wearing her blackmailability on her sleeve like that I can chalk up to her fear getting the better of her, but I still don't get why she took her mask off for no reason unless she was retiring for the night and starting to undress.  I also agree that not knowing why Lilo needs so badly to be taken there (and why she can't, say, be taken a few blocks away or something like that) that she's willing to get on an established heroine's bad side like that. While Swan doesn't need to know it, and I get only knowing the information she knows, without a reason it sounds like Lilo is wasting a good weapon on a trivial thing.

Too bad, Nekidfury! I wanted to learn more about Lilo!

Rikun
Artist
72 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 19 2019, 10:38 PM
JCee, I just wanted to say that I think you've been amazing and your pages look great! I wish you the best of health going forward and if you need a break then please take it. You're always able to impress and Void will always be here whenever you feel like coming back!

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
295 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 19 2019, 11:39 AM
Congrats on finishing such a good quality comic despite going through such a hard time, The quality to push through and finish despite depression and real life that is one of the things that makes you one of the best artists on the site currently and something we can all look up to. I love your art and am prolly wicked bias towards your comics. others mentioned the plot hole of why Lilo needed Swan to get her to Old warehouse but i didn't really notice that on my first reading. Honestly this is a small plot hole since it can just be written away with a sentence, just a quick line like "With the Barricades around the old warehouse i need you to take me" That's all that's really needed for something like this. I can also buy Swan being reckless and letting someone see her identity since she's still recovering and a bit of an emotional mess. Great job powering through and giving us this comic.

Flytee
Artist
66 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 17 2019, 03:12 AM
Well done on finishing another polished, wonderfully drawn comic Jcee! Swan remains one of my faves on this site, I love how you have rolled with the emotional trauma/ scar from your battle with Remy. I'm really invested in this emotional arc you've put her on.
The previous crits summed up my only issues with this comic. I found myself questioning the logic of the characters actions a fair bit.

TheCydork
Artist
66 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 16 2019, 08:08 PM
Congrats on finishing JCee!! I know how frustrating it can be when depression kicks you in the middle of a battle :(

Quality-wise it’s great as usual, and I love how you drew Lilo! Especially the folds in her hoodie and pants. I agree with what others have said though about their interaction. When I read this I just felt the whole thing was rather unnecessary? I don’t see why Lilo would need to specifically ask Swan to take her to the warehouses, and why she would need it to be Swan so much that she’d risk threatening her, even though she’s known to be very powerful.

Heathen
Artist
334 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 16 2019, 10:32 AM
Great work finishing, Jcee. Art wise, aside from a few technical  nitpicks, this comic looks fantastic. Story wise, you've presented the scenes expertly. But the motivations, I just don't buy. Why can't Lilo just walk to the warehouse district?  This one plot hole made it impossible to feel invested despite the good acting and excellent presentation.  

Cleverness is a key attribute in a hero, and Swan is not shown to be very clever here, making such a rookie mistake as to reveal her identity in an unsecured location, and then is taken, quite literally, for a ride. Why do people in hoodies keep making Swan feel bad on rooftops??

drawdan
Artist
312 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 16 2019, 07:43 AM
Ive become a fan of Swan and your comics jcee. Sorry bout the default, that always sucks. Thx for letting me use swan in my last bout.

Elyan
Artist
81 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 15 2019, 11:48 PM
quality wise this is super solid. the tension is palpatable. though i kinda feel like a little more substance to why swan had to carry lilo there would have been nice. I mean whats the problem with getting to the old warehouse? Anyways a very strong submission all in all.

Radji
Artist
530 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 15 2019, 12:29 PM
i felt the tension. I feel like she's that close to going full Society on someone.
As a matter of fact, i get the feeling lilou didn't get scott free ( at least that's what the panelling suggested to me)

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1436 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 15 2019, 10:48 AM
This is a good comic for the stuff you went through, be proud that you're able to produce solid work even during a stressful period, that's a valuable skill

JCee
Artist
368 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 14 2019, 03:24 PM
Submitted.

I didn't really have the best time with this, thanks to several bouts of depression and real life pulling me away, so I'm not super happy with the final result. But I'm glad it's over and done with.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Oct 21st, 2019
Votes Cast: 24
Page Views: 322
Winner: JCee
 

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