Intro Story / Saal

Intro Story / Saal

Intro Story — Saal

by Footini


71%
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Heavenbat
Artist
104 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 16 2019, 11:48 AM
I don't feel like I have much to add to what I said previously when you were posting updates in the incubator, but it's really rad to have Saal in!!

Flutterbyes
Artist
254 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 25 2019, 08:23 PM
Don't let my lateness fool you. I've been eager for Saal's arrival. I really loved those transitions in and out of dreaming in particular. The story does have a bit of mystery to it, which I guess will get ironed out in later stories (is this what it means to master the mind? What did Saal do, really? Did everyone else live in the Dreamlands, and come back with them willingly while Animalgus had to be dragged out?)

I think I'll echo some of the other readers. The Non-Dreamlands are pretty dreamy looking in their own right. While there is an element of loneliness to the landscape, they're still fantastic enough that they could have been dreamlands themselves. The colors are pretty saturated, too, and on the last page they're  pretty unnatural looking. A natural looking waking world might have bookended the story better.

G.Lo
Artist
103 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 24 2019, 07:31 AM
Woop woop! Congrats on getting Saal in! I feel like this was a nice story that gave us a feel for Saal’s Character, ambitions, and goals!

I feel like I’m going to echo a what some of the others said:
I actually like the saturated colors of the Dreamland- I think you kept a consistent color palette to show that world. I however think Saal needed blend better with the world; either reflecting the colors or even integrating those colors into Saal once they were in the world. I think that would have been much more cohesive than just sticking with their regular colors.
I also agree with Heathen that a liiiitttlleee more of a hint of what was actually “it” is, maybe one little line or something.

Great job! Looking forward to seeing Saal in action!

Rivana
Artist
105 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 23 2019, 05:59 PM
Glad that Saal is finally in. The colors and the mood match the character perfectly! I thought it would be better if the sequences before the dreamland were colored differently (less saturated) so the transition pops even more.  I also saw some inconsistencies in font sizes and alignment as already mentioned. Also some typos particularly on page 3 last panel ("within in").

All in all this is super cool and I am looking forward to seeing Saal's unique abilities in the next battle!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
387 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 23 2019, 02:00 PM
Congrats on getting in. One thing I forgot to mention in my approval comment is do try to find a way to clean up the bubbles to make the bubble borders uniform. Also I love the transitions in and out of the dream world and look forward to seeing you play around with that more

Heathen
Artist
350 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 19 2019, 11:16 PM
Cool intro! I would have liked to have some explanation of what "it" is that she's done. I'd like to see you take some time to letter your comics properly, and be mindful of the reading order, it got mixed up in a couple panels. If you aren't already a fan, I'd urge you to look at Steve Ditko's Doctor Strange run, I think you'd find it inspiring.

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Ended: Sep 25th, 2019
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