MrPR: Your expressions are hilarious, and the gags hit really well in this comic! Had me grinning, lol. Aside from what's been said before, I think you could work on your shadows in the future; currently the highlights you use are all fairly circular, which makes everything look oddly bubble-y. This looks especially odd on flat/angular things, like the cars.

Nekid: Once again, your inks are gorgeous! Especially your heavy shadows. I gotta echo the others, page 1 is a bit weak as a set-up page if only because it lacks clarity. Also, while I really love the red-eye panel, I feel like it could've used a bit more build-up or cool-down afterwards. It was all a little abrupt--which left me confused as to what was going on. A good general rule for these sort of stories is that even if you set up some more questions/mysteries to be solved, you want to answer at least one question to keep the reader satisfied. As is, we didn't really get any answers about Lilo, only more questions. I do really hope we get to see where this story is going!

MrPr: I love the way you write Grita in particular i find it enjoyable how brittle she is and how she can so easily fall apart, ofcourse a car crash would kill a normal person but I like how you take a grim reaper and make them look weak. It's fun and refreshing. I also like how you were challenging yourself with both the layouts and the backgrounds trying to draw more cars, though you do gotta practice it more doing stuff like this is good.

Nekid:I love your art and your inks, you also do some great angles for your shots and have some dynamic poses. while I do love your art it lacks clarity and hinders your storytelling. The main thing for me is the lack of distinct expressions. The most important parts for showing expressions in the face is generally the eyes and eyebrows and in pretty much all the shots Lilo's eyes are closed. It seems like you're going for a typical comic badass however when pretty much all the panels have her eyes blacked out it sort of loses it's impact and value. For your next comic you definitely need to show more of her face and work on her expressions more. If you take away the dialogue bubbles a random reader should ideally know what your character is feeling to some extent.
In regards to the ending in general you don't want to end on the resolution, you want to add a little more after the resolution so the reader has time to process it and it feels less abrupt. One way to have done this is add a panel after Lilo leaving to show one of the characters reactions to what just happened or show a panel to hint at stuff that comes next.
All that being said it's cool you're bringing up estrella for this and interested to see where you go from here on with her.

 MRPR1993 - Your comic made me chuckle especially how Grita seemed to imply that she had been broken apart like this before and putting herself back together seemed more like an inconvenience than a serious injury (Well she is a reaper after all but still). I do agree that it is surprising  that  Lilo did not suffer a scratch after that crash. The last panel where Lilo was running or walking away did not seem like she was doing that at first. I guess because I only see mainly one leg. The silhouette wasn't very clear and she looked like she was hopping away on one leg at first.

nekidfury - So good to see Lilo in action this soon. Her intro  left us wanting more. I absolutely love your style and strong confident inking. I know you only had a week to do this but still her change of heart seemed so abrupt at the end as others have pointed. Also I did have some trouble with the close ups. I couldnt tell what they were right away. I still don't know what the 2nd close up is on page 2.  Still, I am curious to  see where Lilo's quest to find Estrella takes her, looks like she is going to be facing Swan next!

Overall, both very enjoyable comic. Impressive especially for a  one week time frame. Good job to both of you!  

MRPR1993- this was a fun comic! I particularly enjoy how you draw expressions. I agree with the previous crits given- I'll add some smaller ones of my own. I think the vehicles could've been drawn better- I get that you have a cartoony style by they came across a bit rushed and lazy here. It might be worth researching how similarly cartoony shows/ comics translate vehicles into their work.
Also considering how that crash was enough to break Grita apart I found it pretty jarring that Lilo didn't even have a scratch on her at the end.

NEKIDFURY- Overall this was a really cool read, Lilo's an extremely mysterious character I'm very interested to see how her story progresses. Art wise, the inking was brilliant, there were some stand out panels for me (pg 4 panel 1 for example). However there were also some slightly awkward panels mixed in with the greatness, pg 3 panel 3 for example, the two characters look detached from one another. I think this is largely due to the fact their eyelines don't meet.
Writing-wise a couple of the transitions felt abrupt- for example, Lilo suddenly appearing next to the dead body at the start. .
I actually didn't see the dead body on the first pages originally, so I had to go back and read pg 1 and 2 again to get what was going on. I was still left wondering how Lilo suddenly appeared there.
The ending didn't really work for me either. Firstly I wasn't sure what the eye (?) on panel 3 pg 6 was...and then Lilo just casually turns around and dismissively walk off, her attitude totally shifting, the suddenness of it was unintentionally kinda funny.

Dispite the crits I really enjoyed both of these comics, it was a great battle! Well done :3




 

MrPr - Really liking the angle and jumping shot on the first page, and I love how Grita just treats a head popping off as a nuisance XD

I agree with what Heathen said as I didn't actually feel the motion of Lilo's jump. Also the background is kind of sparse and I had no idea where the characters were or what exactly was happening until you showed the other cars. It felt as if they were floating in space until cars suddenly got tossed in on page 2, and then they're back to space again. I initially couldn't even tell that Grita was on a motorbike.

Nekid - Very nice inks and panelling, kudos for doing this in just one week! I'm really interested to see more of Lilo. I love how calm she is at the fact a huge scythe is at her throat, and her glowing eyes.. are they a hint she's not quite human?

I do feel like you almost overdo it with the angles though at times. Different angles are great but if they're used all the time then when you actually NEED a wild angle it lacks impact. The closeups also suffer because you go too close, and it's not instantly clear what we're looking at. Also, I agree Lilo appears too suddenly. I think I can make her out in the first panel, a small figure behind and to the left of Grita? But if that IS her and not just a body, she needs more attention drawn to her initially.

Anyway, congrats on your first battle though!

MrPr: I like some of the angles and action you're attempting in this comic, but it's one if those basic interaction comics that could feature any two characters and nothing would change. It can be difficult to write a brand new character, but if you're going to accept or issue a challenge to one, either do so because something about them resonates with you, or pick the artist's brain beforehand to understand the character better. Battles are your opportunity to set your opponent's character in a direction of your choosing and leave them with something to run with or recover from. And on that note, I hope you feel better,  too. On a technical note, I like your Daredevil-style rooftop flip, but it lacks energy and a sense of movement, the landing especially. Her initial leap should be blurred and appear sudden and kinetic, the apex of the arc should be slower, and then the landing should be blurred again and have a real impact. It looks like she was just already sitting on the bike, rather than having dropped onto it from high up.

Nekid: You've got great potential. Just looking at your thumbnails, I thought, "wow, this looks like a comic!" Unfortunately, the content is lacking. You've got some nice angles and a cool buildup to action,  and then all that tension evaporates in an instant. It's pretty obvious you had something cool planned, but you ran out of time and had to settle for a fakeout, and it just fell flat. Still, really great to see a demo of your art skills. These pages hint at good things to come. The technical thing I'll offer for yours is on page 1. I love Grita's line about seeing what she drags to bed,  but the art doesn't reflect her intentions. She's thinking about sex, but we're looking at the back of her cloak, she might as well be a burlap sack. Grita's trademark is her enormous boobs and phat ass, and she's talking about a night of debauchery as she heads out, that panel should be your hero shot, face front, all tiddies and ribcage, with a devious smirk as she tosses that old ritual robe aside. Then Lilo just sort of appears. Needed some hint of her presence beforehand, like having a shot of Grita going in the other room from a voyeuristic angle like peeping out from a hiding place. Then when Grita comes back in from getting changed or whatever,  Lilo's there, but at least we were made to feel the intruder's presence first.  Not necessarily the ideal way to bridge that gap, but should do in a pinch when you've got one panel to show the action in a 1 weeker.

Thanks for submitting MrPr1993.
I know it had to be a challenge since lilo doesn’t have much of a history....plus i suck at writing.

A'ight. I gave my best here, especially since I got sick at the time. But my entry won't be all that hyped so... yes. I did my best. >3>