Medieval Training Day Part.1 / Veruca Chance

Medieval Training Day Part.1 / Veruca Chance

Medieval Training Day Part.1 — Veruca Chance

by Cab


75%
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

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Heavenbat
Artist
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48 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 13 2019, 02:21 PM
I appreciate seeing some color from you, and your linework is better in this than it's been previously! I like the thicker outlines you did in some places, and I will say the added color does make it a bit easier to see what's going on amidst all the detail lines you add. That said, I think sometimes you over-use copypaste, to the point where it becomes rather obvious--especially on that last page. I'd say if you are going to copy-paste something and zoom in on it, maybe copy paste the sketch, and then draw the lines for the bigger one. That way you won't end up with the blurry lines that happen when you just enlarge lineart. And for me it was kinda distracting when all the minions were clearly just copy-pasted; some more variance in their poses or orientation would've helped fix this, I think!

I also feel like... while I do enjoy the exposition on page 3, I also feel like there was a better way it could've been shown, not told.And I kinda gotta agree, the opening joke didn't really land for me ^^;

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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260 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 6 2019, 08:47 PM
Awesome to see you use texture I mentioned for the eggs, also in general it's nice to see you do color stuff. seeing your colors i would like to see you experiment with them more, there is some basic shading here but i would like to see you try to do stuff with gradients or watercolor textures for more lighting on the characters and the backgrounds. Also I feel like you should try doing some colored lines for places like rockafella's face because all the blacklines are a bit distracting in an unintentional way, you could even use a texture that only shows up on his burnt side of the face.

Flytee
Artist
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37 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 6 2019, 09:48 AM
There's a lot of fantastic stuff here, your drawing is on point and your art style is fun and expressive I can't fault it.
Writing-wise, this is fine, It's got the feel of an extended introduction, overally it works really well in that regard.

though I do have some crits, I hope they're helpful.

writing - There was a fair bit of exposition for Veruca's powers, it might've been nice to discover her abilities with her, instead of having it clearly spelt out like a guide book. Sometimes things can be straightforward to a fault.

art- the panels/ text feel quite cramped. It'll be nice to give your images more room to breath.

(EDIT- Taking back my previous comment about the changing joke on pg 1- since I'd originally assumed Veruca was under 18. I'm still not totally jazzed by this type of fanservice, but this is more of a personal gripe than a crit. Ya can't please everyone)  

 


      Edited Sep 6 2019,  11:47 AM by Flytee

Fearn
Artist
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349 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 6 2019, 08:56 AM
You can draw. Starting off with a sexist joke, well done! The dialogue is wooden and the info dump on page three is boring. Try to draw your own sound effects because you CAN draw, rather than lazing out and using second hand pixelated ones.

Rivana
Artist
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25 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 5 2019, 05:49 AM
This is such a great comic.The colors are vibrant and the events flowed really smoothly. I love how you explained Veruca's abilities as well. I did notice the part where Violet's eyes lost their whites like Flutter mentioned. I thought that was an oversight at first but maybe it is intentional?

Great work as always. Looking forward to your next comic!

Heathen
Artist
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316 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 31 2019, 06:31 PM
I love your comics, and I have no  idea how you crank out comics this quick. As much as it's almost a part of your style, I'd like to see you experiment with some better brushes and varying line weights. The one thick line you use gives your art a coloring book quality. And be careful enlarging drawings to use in panels they weren't made for, it blows your lines out and makes them all blurry. I suspect this is just one of the corners you cut to deliver comics as quickly as you have been.

Flutterbyes
Artist
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198 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 31 2019, 05:14 PM
I've been looking forward to this BB, and to seeing Veruca and her very video game-like mechanics in action (there sure are a lot of rules...)! The chemistry you have between the characters is a lot of fun, and I like seeing Veruca's fun faces and reactions. Oh, but I'm on the edge of my seat! When will we actually see how Veruca battles with a flimsy (and no bards conveniently present)?

Interesting how Violet suddenly loses the whites of her eyes after having them for two pages. Is it to make her look like a Hanna-Barbera character?

I think you could have used a beta reader for this. There are a few typos and some awkward language I see, and you didn't have a harsh time limit, so there probably was time for some proofreading.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Sep 6th, 2019
Votes Cast: 11
Page Views: 258
 

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