Elijah (Eli) Mikhailov vs. Holden Shark

Elijah (Eli) Mikhailov vs. Holden Shark

Elijah (Eli) Mikhailov vs. Holden Shark

46.3%
350 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

53.7%
406 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: , dead boy brawl



Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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279 comments
# 8   Posted: Sep 17 2019, 06:46 PM
Buggy: The morgue staff grows and that makes me happy. Your figures and and expressions are much improved in this, in particular your shoulders and hands are looking really good the second to last panel of Eli on page 4 in particular is one i like.  Even though this whole situation takes place in night time I do think you should try to add some small highlights as a way to give certain areas focus. The eye will pay most attention to the areas with the most contrast. So adding some highlights, even if it may not seem realistic, is a good way to help guide the readers eye to where you want them to focus on first. you could also add some spot blacks to help make it seem more spooky and dark. Also their is something with some of your word bubbles where it looks like the white went outside of the border and it's a little distracting.
In terms of story the only crit i have is that Eli's shift to feral is a bit to sudden. However I really like the overall story as well as the scar you did, it was a great brutal scar you put in.

Bang: I love the limited color palette here, green is also a favorite color of mine. also your style is really nice. In terms of story i kind of like how overall casual it felt, my favorite thing is how you handle the scar and them talking it out after, it's hard for me to pinpoint what I like about it but I enjoyed it. My only crit is the font seems like a non comic font as well as the word bubbles being inconsistent length is distracting. But besides that this was a good comic I enjoyed.

Heavenbat
Artist
icon
59 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 15 2019, 03:50 PM
Buggy: :D I'm glad you got to do a full colored comic! You did a great job with the atmosphere in this too--very spooky and dark. I agree that it was a bit jarring to see Eli suddenly in a house with this person who hasn't been established outside of the discord--and I was left wondering why Eli had to go use a pay phone on the street to call Talon? I'm assuming the implication was that they had to keep their meetings secret, but I don't see why they couldn't have just used a pre-established code?  I also kind of wish you'd shown Eli and Holden actually running into each other instead of just using the sound effect. God, though, what a brutal scar! Gotta commend you on that! And I can also definitely see you're improving on the fluidity of your poses!

Bang: I love the limited color palette you used! Honestly I can't think of many critiques for this, other than for me the reasoning behind the attack doesn't quite match up--usually, when people are in immense amounts of pain, they actually lose more control. That said I do really love the ending :D Dead boy friends!!

Flutterbyes
Artist
icon
211 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 14 2019, 09:28 AM
Buggy: Your poses and expressions are getting stronger! I know what's going on because I was in the chat, but in the comics universe I don't think we've established that Eli's found himself a home, so it's a little jarring to see him already there. That said, since we do know from his intro that there's a necromancer in his life, the hints of this new person tormenting him are very intriguing. I like the idea of him suddenly turning on someone he's met, but a beat to establish that he's reacting to drawing blood could have strengthened that.

Bangarang: The limited palette could have merged the two pale, casually dressed, sickly looking characters together, but they're so clearly different from their facial features to their body language, and it's very entertaining to see them just being so different from each other while also clearly having plenty to bond over. This comic did a good job of juggling tones in a way that suits characters for whom being this sort of creature is just how things are.

      Edited Sep 14 2019,  09:29 AM by Flutterbyes

Rivana
Artist
icon
40 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 12 2019, 03:04 PM
Buggy, your improvement in this comic is astounding! I can't congratulate you enough for the job well done. The backgrounds and the lighting are really effective in setting the mood! I really love page 8. I could definitely feel Eli's despair in that page. (I feel so sad for him)

Some crits:
Page 1:
I wish Eli mentioned the name of the lady that was cooking. I am not familiar with her at all and who she is in Eli's life. Granted she is probably a recurring character in your comics (I haven't checked so I apologize), I think it is always a good mindset to think that the audience is reading about your character the first time whenever they read your comic. Just something I picked up from reading comicbooks back in the day - there is always some sort of a hint or brief background on the characters even by narration or part of the dialogue (without overly explaining it that it sounded so unnatural). It is a delicate balance but I think mentioning her name (or if she is a relative - sis, mom, etc) would've sufficed in your case.

page 3: I feel like the empty spaces could've been utilized better.

Finally.  I wish there was more dialogue between Eli and Holden :)

---

Bang :

I love your style and lovely use of limited palette here. It is so effective that it didn't feel like  the comic is sort of monochromatic at all. I need to take some pointers from what you did. It is impressive. Eli's transformation from calm to feral was very apparent and you conveyed it effectively. I also love how Holden was perched on his weapon after wounding Eli.  It was so cool to look at.

As for the crit - this is probably just a personal preference from my end  but I feel like you could've used a better font that suits your comic better. :)

===

In closing,  I love both comics and both of you did an amazing job! I just wish Lilyfeather was there to see this fight ;)

BuggyPumpkin
Artist
icon
6 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 12 2019, 11:42 AM
I love these boys so much!! Thank you so much for battling me Bang!!

!bangarang!
Artist
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32 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 12 2019, 11:25 AM
gosh they're both so gross |D
thanks for battling me Buggy!! <3

Rivana
Artist
icon
40 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 29 2019, 07:30 PM
I am ordering buckets and buckets of popcorn for this!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1279 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 28 2019, 03:59 PM
I AM SO GODDAMN HYPE FOR THESE DEAD BOYS

Comic Details -

 
Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Sep 18th, 2019
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 408
Winner: !bangarang!
 

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